Qs for UK ladies

LadyMadrid08

Dude, where are all the glitterfarts?  

Pokepoke, I think what everyone is encouraging you to do (Bananas most of all) is remember that life is still life even when you've moved abroad and are living with your SO.  In fact, it gets very difficult.  

Stick around, don't leave the board because of a little confrontation, but remember that whatever advice is given here comes from personal experience and a real desire to help.  

I moved over here to get my degree at an American university and met my H here so I can't speak to the ldr thing, but I do know that, even as lucky as I am to have many friends from university and now mommy groups, living far from family can be very, very hard at times.  That is all people are trying to say.  Oh, and you should absolutely be in a rush to get a degree (not trying to be patronizing I swear!).  Even if you aren't in a rush to use it a degree is a very good thing for a woman to have. 

 

LadyMadrid08

Tofumonkey:

. (I'm also thinking that you might be waiting until you are 21 to get married as you can't be a spouse in the UK until you've reached that age)

Really?  I did not know this.  Very interesting.  So you are a minor until 21, can't get married until 21 or what? 

Tofumonkey

Exactly. Life is still life even when you've moved abroad. Plus, when you're married I've heard that have to do things like scheduled wifely duties and laundry, even if you're not in the States. Both suck. One literally.

Tofumonkey

LadyMadrid08:

Tofumonkey:

. (I'm also thinking that you might be waiting until you are 21 to get married as you can't be a spouse in the UK until you've reached that age)

Really?  I did not know this.  Very interesting.  So you are a minor until 21, can't get married until 21 or what? 

No, you can marry here at 18. You can't marry for a visa until 21.

LadyMadrid08

Tofumonkey:

Plus, when you're married I've heard that have to do things like scheduled wifely duties .

FTW! 

LadyMadrid08

Tofumonkey:

LadyMadrid08:

Tofumonkey:

. (I'm also thinking that you might be waiting until you are 21 to get married as you can't be a spouse in the UK until you've reached that age)

Really?  I did not know this.  Very interesting.  So you are a minor until 21, can't get married until 21 or what? 

No, you can marry here at 18. You can't marry for a visa until 21.

I see.  Interesting. 

Tofumonkey

LadyMadrid08:

Tofumonkey:

LadyMadrid08:

Tofumonkey:

. (I'm also thinking that you might be waiting until you are 21 to get married as you can't be a spouse in the UK until you've reached that age)

Really?  I did not know this.  Very interesting.  So you are a minor until 21, can't get married until 21 or what? 

No, you can marry here at 18. You can't marry for a visa until 21.

I see.  Interesting. 

They just raised it in 2011, to stop forced marriages, arranged marriages, etc. You can't apply to bring in a foreign spouse if either spouse is under 21 now. I'm keen to see how it develops over the next few years and if it makes any significant difference in abuse of arranged spouses, etc. Also, the demographics for people using/abusing the benefit system in the UK that have/bring in foreign spouses tends to be much older - I think around 25-40, and the demographic for domestic violence against foreign spouses in the UK and those spouses going on to gain ILR through the domestic violence visa scheme tend to be older as well, though not by much ( I think around 24-30, again). So it's not like raising the age requirement from 18 to 21 is going to make a huge difference to those problems...

We had a IN refused last year because she applied before she was 21.

wise_rita

LadyMadrid08:

Tofumonkey:

Plus, when you're married I've heard that have to do things like scheduled wifely duties .

FTW! 

For those who don't get the joke this tasty thread has had the whole Nest WTFing for days now:

http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/1/61999081/ShowThread.aspx

LadyMadrid08:

Pokepoke, I think what everyone is encouraging you to do (Bananas most of all) is remember that life is still life even when you've moved abroad and are living with your SO.  In fact, it gets very difficult.   

Ladies, we have a new motto.  

The only time our eyebrows are raised on this board is when somebody doesn't realize this. 

bugabean

In Denmark, you can't get a spouse visa under 24. Someone asked me how I got around that once. Hahahahahahahaha!

Publius

LadyMadrid08:

Tofumonkey:

LadyMadrid08:

Tofumonkey:

. (I'm also thinking that you might be waiting until you are 21 to get married as you can't be a spouse in the UK until you've reached that age)

Really?  I did not know this.  Very interesting.  So you are a minor until 21, can't get married until 21 or what? 

No, you can marry here at 18. You can't marry for a visa until 21.

I see.  Interesting. 

It's the same in the US. From what I remember you have to be 21 to sponsor someone for a green card.

Tofumonkey

This is very interesting. Does anyone know how to find some sort of stats on the divorce rate of foreign marriages if you married between the ages of  18-21? Or even 18-25? Would it be easier look at it as the divorce rate of those that were 18-21 when they first sponsored their spouse in their home country?

I'd be genuinely interested to see some sort of stats on that, and to see what age demographic the foreign spouse divorce rate is highest in.

On the same note, did I tell you guys about the recent foreign visa spouse that murdered her husband in N. Ireland? My nanny was friends with her and is all freaked out about it and now she won't date white guys.