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I'm pregnant---not good
I am in my mid 30's, I have two kids with my husband of 10 years. All I ever wanted was two kids, a girl and a boy which is what I have. I have been trying to get sterilized since my son was born almost 4 years ago, but my insurance doesnt cover it and it is quite expensive. I have been back on the pill and I found out last Friday that I am pregnant again. I have no idea how this happened since I am taking birth control. OMG This is NOT what I want.
Re: I'm pregnant---not good
You might want to start researching your options then.
And figure out how you could make a vasectomy or hysterectomy happen, maybe you can take out a loan and make a payment plan.
Since you DDed this exact same question on GP (never cool to DD...), I'll give you the same advice here that I did there..
Here's my advice - Suck it up and be grateful that you are able to conceive when there are so many women, myself included, who have been unsuccessful in years of trying to get pregnant. Yeah, sure it's a shock and a surprise for you, but be grateful. Things happen and sometimes the pill doesn't work. You're an adult. And you've been married for 10+ years so obviously you must know it all so you should be able to handle the situation. And please.... love that precious baby. And if you don't want it... then I'll adopt it
Congrats on being super fertile.... I'd give my left arm to have some of that fertility....
And I'll add to that... please, if you do not want more children in the future look into ways to sterilize yourself or get your husband a vasectomy... AND, I'd suggest maybe looking into some temporary counseling just to help you deal with the shock and all the feelings your going through right now. Might be helpful..
I really do wish you the best of luck in the future.
In Christ alone my hope is found. He is my LIGHT, my STRENGTH, and my SONG!
T-TTC since Dec 2008. PCOS/nonexistant cycles(anovulation) and endo. HSG in '10 revealed both tubes blocked. Lap surgery in Dec '10 to correct. Failed Clomid/IUI and injectable(Bravelle)/IUI cycles so far.
THIS EXACTLY.
Major effing side eye to the "BE GRATEFUL YOU CAN GET PREGNANT" camp. I get that IF is devastating but good grief, that doesn't mean everyone should always be happy about unplanned pregnancies.
OP, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It cannot be an easy situation to be in or decision to make. Have you told your H yet? How is he feeling about it? I think you and your husband need to talk about this, talk about your options, and no matter what you decide about this pregnancy, find a way to make sterilization happen so you aren't faced with it again. There may be some kind of Care Credit type thing you can use.
Wow. I'm about where you are in life, and if I had an unexpected pregnancy right now, it would take some getting used to before I was happy too.
Vasectomies are much cheaper and much easier on the body. Is your DH resisting getting one? It seems like the best way to go.
Good luck.
THIS! And I'm TTC for 2+ years, but I can totally understand that this might not be a good situation to some.
I hope you and your H can come to a mutual decision that is right for your family. A family member went through a similar situation not long ago, and making the right decision was hard, but they eventually agreed and are happy with what they decided.
You have options, you know. I had my tubes tied after baby #4, and I can for sure tell you what I'd do if a surprise happened.
Don't let other people's misfortunes/morals/opinions guide you. Do what is best for you and your family. What does your husband think?
Guess what? The fact that she has an unintended pregnancy does not mean that one of you is missing out on your baby. I'm sure if she could trade places with you, she would. But she can't. SO LAY OFF. She already feels like shiit as it is.
Do you want people to have compassion for your situation? If the answer is no, keep on keeping on. If the answer is yes, why don't you realize that everyone has different circumstances, not everyone wants what you want, and try having a little compassion yourself.
OP, I'm sorry. Were you on the pill that was recalled recently? Look into your options and do what's best for you and your family.
Youre kind of an ?sshole. So, because other people are infertile she should be happy bc her birth control method failed and is now faced with 18+years of commitment she never wanted in the first place?
OP. I'm sorry you're faced with this. I don't have any advice but I wish you luck and ignore the idiots like rockabye.
(and fwiw, Ive had a miscarriage and struggled with ttc, so don't try and pull the "you don't understand my life bull?hit)
It is nice to see that I am finally getting some support. All the flames on the pregnancy board was obscene. I know many of them are struggling to get PG and I feel bad for them, but I really thought that was the best place to post this. I was even told to keep my effin legs closed....then I wouldnt get PG. Geez. I am married 10 years, have two kids with the same man (DH) and I am told to keep my legs closed like I am some whore who gets knocked up by different men.
Anyway, thank you for all your kind words. Yes my DH knows, I showed him the tests. We are on the same page with our options, which is good. Neither one of us wanted any more than 2 kids. So, read into that what you will. I am just dealing with the early pregnancy symptoms right now which sucks.
I will definately get the Essure procedure done and my husband is also coming around to the idea of a vesectomy. Right now my income is all we have so I think we might even be able to get some state aid to get these procedures done.
Yeah, this. Posts like those above are what give IF'ers a bad name. (and yes, I'm IF, too. 7 years and counting TYVM.)
In any case, OP, if this is really an unwanted pregnancy (and not just a reaction to the unexpected), you do have options. You don't have to be grateful that you can get pregnant when others can't, I promise. But now that you are, you do need to have a serious discussion with your H about your options. Where do the 2 of you stand on abortion? How do you feel about adoption? Adoption has changed quite a bit and you can be known or unknown to the family/child.
I'm sorry you're faced with this decision. Once you have resolved you situation, you should also sit down with your doctor and discuss your birth control options in detail. Maybe an IUD would be better for you than the pill, if tubal ligation is still off the table.
Unplanned pregnancy can be and often is emotionally and financially catastrophic. "Thank your lucky stars " and "suck it up" is about as unkind and unempathetic a response as I can think of; surely it's possible to understand how someone could not want a child at a particular juncture of their lives.
Op, you have options, that you know. Think long and hard about what you need for your family and yourself and how that can best be accomplished in the next twenty years, and do what you decide is best for you and your family. ((hugs))
I have been on birth control since my son was born almost 4 years ago. I havent been on antibiotics recently or missed a pill so I have no idea what happened.
1. I never said she had to be happy about it. I understand it's a difficult situation. Hence why I recommended she talk to someone about all the feelings she's dealing with.
2. I never said that her being pregnant was the reason others are missing out on babies. Umm.. no. Her being pregnant has absolutely no bearing on my fertility or lack there of. This woman having a baby doesn't mean that one was plucked from someone else.
3. "giant fcuking flaming asssholes".. really? lol... Oh my! Notice I didn't call her (or any of you) any lovely names. There's no need to get your panties in a bunch, hun!
hugs and smooches!
In Christ alone my hope is found. He is my LIGHT, my STRENGTH, and my SONG!
T-TTC since Dec 2008. PCOS/nonexistant cycles(anovulation) and endo. HSG in '10 revealed both tubes blocked. Lap surgery in Dec '10 to correct. Failed Clomid/IUI and injectable(Bravelle)/IUI cycles so far.
Yes, "giant fcuking flaming assholes". When someone comes onto a board blatantly saying she obviously didn't want this and did everything in her power to avoid it and it happened everything and now her entire life might change... and you respond "be grateful you can have babies because others can't"... yes, in this situation, you're a giant fcuking flaming assshole.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
There was a recent recall of some brands of the pill. I don't know the details as I gave up BC 7.5 years ago, but I'm sure a simple Google search on "BC pill recall" would allow to check if your brand and lot number were among those affected.
And, while typically very effective, it's still not 100%. Hence my suggestion to look at other options if an unplanned pregnancy is this impactful.
Really? I am not happy about paying bills. I am not happy when I have to have my blood drawn. I am not happy when I have a stupid meeting to go to, but I "suck it up"... Same thing in this situation. Suck it up =/= be happy. Didn't realize it was that confusing. Sorry.
In Christ alone my hope is found. He is my LIGHT, my STRENGTH, and my SONG!
T-TTC since Dec 2008. PCOS/nonexistant cycles(anovulation) and endo. HSG in '10 revealed both tubes blocked. Lap surgery in Dec '10 to correct. Failed Clomid/IUI and injectable(Bravelle)/IUI cycles so far.
You said: "Here's my advice - Suck it up and be grateful that you are able to conceive when there are so many women, myself included, who have been unsuccessful in years of trying to get pregnant. Yeah, sure it's a shock and a surprise for you, but be grateful."
So no, you didn't use the word "happy," but repeatedly telling her she should be "be grateful" sure implies it.
And yes, it's pretty assy to say this to her, just like it would be assy for someone to react to your IF with "everything happens for a reason" or "it's all in God's plan" or some other such irrelevant and insensitive horseshite.
Thank god all those mothers who gave birth to babies they don't want could SUCK IT UP and be GRATEFUL~!
Awesome advice.
Yes, because paying bills and going to a meeting is the same thing as carrying, giving birth, and then raising a child for 18 years. Holy shiit, do you really not see how you're wrong here?
Um, she made her decision and I don't think you're reading very carefully.
Yeah, except that she wasn't saying "suck it up- make a hard decision", she said "suck it up and have that baby and love it because I can't and that's not fair"
See how they're different? See how one makes op feel even worse about a decision she might have to make? See how that makes that poster a flaming fuccking assshole?
Responsibility = Responsibility. Varying degrees of it, but regardless, it's all under the umbrella of responsibility. She can keep the baby, abort the baby, give it up for adoption,whatever. It's still her responsibility to suck it up and deal with the situation at hand.
Seriously, the way y'all are freaking out over my comments is almost comical. There's no reason to get in a tizzy over it. It's a public message board. She asked for advice and opinions and I gave her mine, which really wasn't that awful compared to some other things that were said to her. You can agree or you can disagree and call me names. Whatever. I really, truly don't care.
In Christ alone my hope is found. He is my LIGHT, my STRENGTH, and my SONG!
T-TTC since Dec 2008. PCOS/nonexistant cycles(anovulation) and endo. HSG in '10 revealed both tubes blocked. Lap surgery in Dec '10 to correct. Failed Clomid/IUI and injectable(Bravelle)/IUI cycles so far.
Getting your blood drawn and going to a meeting you don't want to go to are things that aren't even on the same level as having a baby.