Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: I'm pregnant---not good
I like how you can wave your hands in the air and pretend you said something completely different than what you said. I'll have to try that in real life and see if works.
Oh, right, by "suck it up", you were really saying "you have to make a choice, and I dont care what that choice is". SURE. As though she was just going to sit around in denial waiting for the situation to just disappear? Please.
And are you seriously trying to argue that paying a cell phone bill is even in the same realm of responsibility as being pregnant? All under the same umbrella?
Wow, you are one helluvab!tch
Right?
And to whoever told her to cover her bases next time ... CAN YOU READ. She has been on BC for 4 years. She wasn't playing baby roulette and acting all shocked when she wound up KU.
I have to say you did make it sound like the OP went into your bedroom dressed like the Grinch and stole your wozell-whatell from you.
*And now I have "You're a mean one Mr.Grinch" stuck in my head*
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I am new here, just started lurking today, and I have to say you sound really really bitter. I am sorry that you are having IF problems but coming on an internet board and lashing out at people for fun isn't going to help it. She never said she wasn't going to suck it up, she just was stating what her current situation is. Just like I am sure you are somewhere posting about your IF. Maybe you should just suck it up and not post anywhere about the trials that come along with that, bitter Betty!
Of course she's bitter. She's being a raging biitch - pick on her for that - but calling her 'bitter Betty' is pretty cvnty, too.
I don't normally post support about these things but I feel the need to tell you that no matter what you decide to do, your decision is the right thing to do. Don't let anyone tell you different. What you said about how you only want two kids and you have them is perfectly understandable.
The world is full of options. No matter what you decide (abortion, adoption, or keeping the child) there are many options on how to do it as well. The world is more open now. I, for one, support any of those three options if you decide to do them. Don't let the crazies get to you, I hope to hear an update for you. I really feel for you. My T&P go out to you.
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This is what I don't understand. She was told on the GP board to close her legs? Like she's out screwing anyone she comes in contact with? She's married, for God's sake, and taking BC while waiting to afford a permanent procedure.
And paying bills =/= the responsibility of raising a child. Not even close. That argument is stupid.
OP, this situation sucks. I was in the exact same position in January - had been on BC for a year, got pregnant in late October/early November. We aren't in a financial position to raise another one, our DD is 14 months right now. In our case, H & I were ready to make our finances work and happily raise another, however, I had a m/c at the end of January, right as we'd started to come out of the shock and started planning and being excited for it. Not quite the exact same thing that is happening in your life, other than the getting pregnant on BC, but if someone told me I had better suck it up and be grateful about it, or close my legs like I was some streetwalking wh0re simply because they were IF, if I was in shock and just needing a little support, I think I'd be punching people through my computer screen. Sorry you are having fertility issues, but just because you have issues doesn't mean that everyone else in the world who gets pregnant has to be falling over excited about it.
In Christ alone my hope is found. He is my LIGHT, my STRENGTH, and my SONG!
T-TTC since Dec 2008. PCOS/nonexistant cycles(anovulation) and endo. HSG in '10 revealed both tubes blocked. Lap surgery in Dec '10 to correct. Failed Clomid/IUI and injectable(Bravelle)/IUI cycles so far.
and calling someone a ? haha I get what you are saying but I am sorry, that is how I see it and I am calling a spade a spade.
You're attacking someone for their feelings about a situation that you clearly have no understanding of, and that makes you no better than the people attacking the OP for having an unplanned pregnancy. Why don't you just go find a kid whose mom just died and poke fun at him for being sad?
You are trying to back track so badly right now!! It's funny to watch. You did not come on here so nicely.
my dad just died, does that count? I am not making fun of her for having IF, no where did I make fun of her for that. I was saying she shouldn't be using that to attack the OP. Just like I wouldn't yell at someone for fighting with their dad because I don't have one. People have different situations and should be able to feel how they feel. Trust me, it took my sister 11 years to have my niece and I have 15 adopted cousins, NEVER would I make fun of someone for IF, but I also don't think it's ok to be mean just because you are. Am I making sense?
No, it doesn't count. My mom died, and in no way did that compare to the pain of infertility and miscarriage. I wouldn't have believed it until it was actually my life, but there you have it. Your parents are supposed to die before you and you're supposed to be able to have children. Calling her bitter Betty was making fun of her. A great rule of thumb is to never pick on someone for hurting. Call them out for being a crappy person, like how you're behaving in this thread, but not for being sad or bitter. It's low.
And your sister struggling with IF isn't the same as you going through it. Not even a tiny little bit, no matter ow many adopted cousins you have.
So these idiots are coming in here and ripping into someone who's having a hard time when they don't have a clue what it feels like to be in her shoes. What do you do? Pick on one of them for having a hard time (bitter references) when you have no idea what it's like to be in her shoes.
Does that make sense?
You have to know how sarcastic that sounded in your OP. It did not sound genuine or heartfelt. It sounded like the you added it on just so you could be a crazy, bitter, rageaholic without getting flamed. If you are going to such d!ck to the OP at least own up to it and don't back track. I hope you keep your best luck to yourself because the OP doesn't need it.
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No it doesn't, at all. OMG you are just as bad!! Calling her crappy or bitter are the same thing. You are twisting my words to just cause a fight. Get over it. She was being crappy, sh*tty, whatever you want to call it! You even said yourself she was bitter!! LOL! Never did I say I knew what they were going through, i said i would never make fun of someone for having IF. Where did I say I knew what she was going through? Where? Quote it. I said I would never make fun of someone for it. Jeez! Saying she is bitter is not making fun of her IF issues. If I said "ha ha you can't have kids" Then that would be making fun of her. I was saying she was using her IF to be mean to someone and that is not ok. I don't care if I have never been though it, it doesn't mean it gives her a right to be mean. End of story.
oh and the dad thing was because you said find a kid who lost their parent. Just sayin...
I'm not backpeddling anything. I stand by what I originally said and everything I've said since. I'm sorry if it comes across as something other than what I originally intended. It's difficult to convey everything I feel/think/say over a little internet message board. If my clarifications caused confusion and made you think I was backpeddling, well, that's not the case.
I C&Ped my response to her original post on another board. Apparently my response is more fitting in that environment so I do regret bringing over here. I really didn't realize it would cause the drama of the day. Everything I said came from a very sincere heart and I honestly don't think anything I said was hateful or spiteful. I had no idea it would be taken the way it has been.
Yes, it's a sucky situation for her to be in. Yes, think she should suck it up and deal with the situation and the responsibility that comes with it. No, I didn't say she had to be happy about it. Yes, I think she should be grateful. Yes I realize that even using BCP that things can happen and it throws your life plan for a loop. Yes, I think she should seek a counselor, regardless of the decision she makes with the baby. No, I do not think her conceiving has any relation to my particular IF. Yes, I think she needs to SERIOUSLY look into sterilization for her or your husband if they do not want more children, especially now knowing that she can get pregnant on bcp. Did I miss anything? I stand by my original reply and everything I've said since.
And let me expound on the "grateful" thing one last time... I was absolutely not "making fun" of her by mentioning IF. Absolutely not! I was simply trying to convey that many women, myself included can't get pregnant so she should be grateful that she can. That doesn't mean she has to be suddenly ecstatic about the situation. I can only imagine how difficult it is for her right now. Anyway, as I'm sure you all know, it's difficult to get across your thoughts and feelings in their entirety in a short thread. I still don't think I have done a good enough job explaining it, but it is what it is and this is long enough.
And I do not appreciate being called a Bitter Betty. That's low. I did not resort to name calling, so thanks for that. Thanks to Winston for standing up for me on that. We may not agree on the rest of this thread, and that's fine, but I appreciate you calling that out.
In Christ alone my hope is found. He is my LIGHT, my STRENGTH, and my SONG!
T-TTC since Dec 2008. PCOS/nonexistant cycles(anovulation) and endo. HSG in '10 revealed both tubes blocked. Lap surgery in Dec '10 to correct. Failed Clomid/IUI and injectable(Bravelle)/IUI cycles so far.
No, I truthfully did not think it sounded sarcastic and I absolutely did not mean it to be sarcastic. Not every post is meant to be snarky or sarcastic. It may have been interpreted differently, but I certainly didn't mean that line to be taken sarcastically. I'm not back tracking on anything.
In Christ alone my hope is found. He is my LIGHT, my STRENGTH, and my SONG!
T-TTC since Dec 2008. PCOS/nonexistant cycles(anovulation) and endo. HSG in '10 revealed both tubes blocked. Lap surgery in Dec '10 to correct. Failed Clomid/IUI and injectable(Bravelle)/IUI cycles so far.
I am sorry for my hurtful words as well. I actually caught myself name calling when I am preaching that it is never ok to be mean. And I am sorry if I mistook anything you said and hope that you really do mean whell for this woman. Everyone has different situations and have the right to feel how they feel. GL to you! And I guess I am joining the boards today!! LOL! Hello everyone. Happy Tuesday!
*sigh*
I said of course she's bitter because it's a common thing when you're struggling with IF. You don't need to point it out - that's gross. Please get this through your head - using someone's bitterness against them is gross. It's sinking to the same level as this girl was. You were just as bad as her.
If you weren't trying to use your sister's infertility and all the adoptions in your family of examples of your excellent understanding of infertility, then I really have no idea why you would bother to bring them up. Maybe you should go have a fight with your sister about pregnancy and infertility, call her bitter Betty, and see how that goes over.
But I don't know why I'm bothering because you clearly aren't capable of wrapping your brain about this.
And because you don't really make a lot of sense, I don't know if your last statement is saying that you were lying about your dad, or you just brought it up as some bizarre example. Either way, no, it doesn't count.
ETA: And no, I'm not just as bad. I called someone out on her behaviour, and I did it without being scornful about the bad thing that has happened to her. See how that works? Respect someone's pain, especially when you don't understand it, but speak up when someone's out of line.
Thanks.. I really appreciate that. I swear, I really do mean well for the OP and I regret that my words were taken the wrong way! It's difficult to get across every thought and emotion via a message board so I know that my words are the emotion behind them are bound to get twisted into something I never intended. I'm not a vengeful person at all and everything I said came from a good place and with good intentions. I didn't mean to get OP or anyone else up in a tizzy over anything. So I apologize if that is the case. Again, I just want to clarify that I am not back peddling on anything I said, but I meant everything sincerely with the best intentions. I'm not out to make enemies on S&R or anywhere on the nest/bump for that matter!
In Christ alone my hope is found. He is my LIGHT, my STRENGTH, and my SONG!
T-TTC since Dec 2008. PCOS/nonexistant cycles(anovulation) and endo. HSG in '10 revealed both tubes blocked. Lap surgery in Dec '10 to correct. Failed Clomid/IUI and injectable(Bravelle)/IUI cycles so far.
haha seriously! rolls eyes and walks out..have a good day!
Yeah, that's what people usually say when they've been completely disarmed and refuse to take responsibility for being a crappy person. Good job!
no it means I agree to disagree. We are never going to see eye to eye on this so I am moving on.
We're never going to see eye to eye on whether or not it's okay to use people's pain against them? Oh, okay. I'm sorry that that's the kind of person you are. Good luck with that.