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If you have had an abortion, please come in.....
Okay, so I posted yesterday about being pg and not wanting to be. (34 yr old, married, has two kids, didnt plan on having any more, got PG while taking BCP) It turned into quite a spectacle. Anyway, I have made my decision. My appointment is next Friday. It is so strange how I am having all the same PG symptoms that I did with my 2 kids (and the 1 MC) but they seemed so much more tollerable then because I wanted to be PG. Now they just SUCK! I really cant stand this. I just want to go to bed and wake up when it is next Friday. Can anyone here relate? I need to here from you please. I pretty much know what is going to happen since I am still very early in this pregnancy, but I want to here what your experience was like please.
*****If you are wanting to throw more flames, then you missed the party yesterday.
Re: If you have had an abortion, please come in.....
My sister had an abortion at age 20 as well. I actually took her (im older) that was 20 years ago. She was in college, and in no position to have a baby. My family was pretty religious (parents) and she wouldnt go to them. She came to me and we went to the dr. together and made the decision.
I took her for her abortion and she spent the next 4 dayswith me at my place.
20 years later we have discussed it every once in while and she has said that she never regrets it for a moment. Her life would have probably been VERY different than it is now. She has no regrets and would not go back and change anything. She knows she did the right thing for her. she has been married for 12 years and has 2 beautiful children,
you know what you want, are an intelligent person, and have made a decision that is right for you. Do not let anyone try to make you feel guilty for your choice.
PM me if youd like to talk more.
I haven't had an abortion, but my friend did when she was in college. She is 100% at peace with her decision and knows it was the right thing for her at that time.
Best of luck to you and your family.
I come from a religious family as well and had one when I was 20 and had been dating my at the time BF (now DH) for 2 years. We were living at his parents' house, I had just started working at the family funeral home, and he was only half way through the police academy. It was not the time, nor the place for us to start a family. In the days leading up to my appointment, we both cried, but knew it's what we had to do.
3 years later, we both still get upset about what happened that December. Now we're talking about wanting to start a family in the near future and all I can think of is the child we never had. Our decision still upsets me to this day, but I can't say I regret it because with a child, we never would have gotten to where we are now.
So make a choice, and support each other no matter what it is.
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2 years after we had our daughter we decided to start trying again for #2. I got pg and almost immediately I started to almost feel this ticking feeling like my time with my daughter was now limited. I hated the feeling. At 12 weeks I ended up MC and even though it was a planned pg I really wasnt upset at all....I was actually relieved. I knew that I just wasnt ready to have another baby. I immediately went back on BCP. So I figure that if I wasnt all that upset losing that pg then I think I will be okay with this decision. Sure I would love this baby with all my heart if we decided to keep it, but we are through the baby stages (kids are 7 and 4) and making plans for more college degrees, new careers, etc. Having a baby that we never intended on having anyways is going to mess everything up. I really do think that I will be okay with this decision even 10, 20 years down the road. BUT, my DH and I are agreeing that no one will ever know I was pg let alone having an abortion. Our families just wouldnt understand. It is really hard not being able to share with those that I love how sick I feel, but in the long run this will be something that DH and I take to our graves. Although if my daughter ever asks me if I had one I dont know if I could lie to her. But, that is years down the road. Thanks for all this stories and kind words. It is nice to have support, even if it is from internet strangers!
I had one when I was 19, it was a very easy procedure. The only bad thing was my next couple periods were ultra heavy, so heavy that I thought something was really wrong. The procedure didn't hurt and was very fast. Sorry you are dealing with this.
I have no regrets. I don't have any kids now either (at 35) and don't want any.
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Okay I NEVER post here but this annoyed me. I'm religious as well but I absolutely hate when people spout religion as a reason not to have an abortion. Don't try to guilt trip someone into believing the things you do. Be thankful that you are allowed to make your own decisions and give other people that benefit as well. And how do you know God has a plan for her and her baby? Give me a break.
OP I wish you luck with your decision. I have had several friends have an abortion and they said it wasn't bad at all, just a heavier period afterwards and maybe a couple months after.
I never had one but I can say with 100% certainty I would if I got pregnant now. Im happily married, 37, have one great kid, and my family is complete. There is not a moment in my life I have any desire to have another child. In fact, the thought of it makes my vagina lock up like Ft Knox.
Im thankful for right now at least we still have the choice to do what's right for us and our families. I'm not sure how long that's going to last...
I wouldn't worry too much about someone else's "God's plan". Some of us, well, me, think that's a load of horseshiit. I know people who have had abortions who were fine with their decision, some who regretted, some who had the kid and were happy and some who had the kid and...were not fine with it. All that matters is how you feel & how you and your husband deal with whatever emotions you have after.
So I just wanted to wish you the best and hope you're ok.
check out imnotsorry.net.
Pretty self-explanatory and there are lots of women's stories that describe the experience in detail, so you'll know what to expect.
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take your bible somewhere else please no one here wants to here about it thanks
that would be a real blessing~
I had an abortion when I was 18 when my epilepsy meds screwed with my birthcontrol. (My doc at the time said it wouldn't, little did she know) .
I do not regret it. My child wouldn't have had a very good life, I simply was not mature enough to handle it. I have had two children since, and I can honestly say, even when they were born, I did not look back at it with regret.
In all honesty, after it was over with I felt relief. None of it was right. I won't ever allow someone elses religious beliefs to make me feel guilty.
I totally agree with mags....you are an adult and you know what is right for your life. If that is the choice that you want to make, it is your right to do so. Just make 100% sure that it is the right one.
If you wish to PM me, please don't hesitate. I don't know that I have any words of wisdom, but I know how you feel.
Whoa, girl. Not cool.
I have not had an abortion, but I am pro-choice. I do not believe that a baby should be brought into the world if it will not have two loving parents. I believe that it is better to terminate a ball of cells than have regrets when it is a baby. You may be a candidate for a pharmacological abortion if you are less that 8 weeks pregnant. You still have to go to planned parenthood, but instead of a D and C they give you one medication there and other medication you take two doses of at home. You just start cramping some time after the third dose of medication and then you pass the cells. I have witness d and c's and they can be very uncomfortable, so you may want to consider this option of pharmacological abortion.
Good Luck whatever you decide. Also, make sure you do whatever you need to do to make sure you don't have another unplanned pregnancy.
I've had two and I don't regret it at all, it was the right choice for me. It sounds like you know this is the right choice for you and your family.
You'll be sore for a couple days and, like pp said, your period will be heavy for a while. I would suggest clearing a fews days off your schedule so you can take it easy.
If you have any questions, you can pm me. Take care
I have epilepsy too but all my neuros have been very up front with me about my BC options that actually work. I'm sorry your Dr was misinformed. That sucks.
OP your choice isn't one I would make but it's your choice. GL.
I completely agree with you. To those who don't agree (and there are many of you), I respect your opinions and you should respect the opinions of others as well. She was not trying to force her beliefs on anyone, but offer advice and hope to the OP.
Wow, OP, I'm really sorry you are in this situation. I found myself in a very similar situation this fall. I've been married for almost 13 years, my dh and I have 3 children, and I discovered in November that I am pregnant again. Honestly, I had always wanted 4 or 5 kids, but we are completely out of room in our current home, are not in a position to move right now, and we were also looking forward to getting to travel more since the kids are starting to get older. A baby right now was NOT in our plans and I was shaking for a week when I found out.
All of that to say that I understand. I really do. Sometimes these life-changing things happen when we are totally unprepared. However, there is no way I could ever kill my baby. We will make it work. The baby will be in our bedroom with us until we are able to move, which may be 3+ years. That will suck. We won't be able to travel as planned. We won't be able to save more money for our current kids' educations (not as quickly as we wanted to, anyway). We will have to make a LOT of sacrifices. But all of those sacrifices will pale in comparison to the surprise gift we have been given.
I am a God-fearing person and not ashamed to admit it even here where there are so many outspoken anti-religious people. I am pro-life and believe that in 99% of cases, there IS a way to make a pregnancy / baby fit into your life or make it a part of someone else's. Whether or not you want to accept my prayers for you and family, I will pray that you have a change a heart and allow your baby to live.
This makes me soooo MAD. It is judgemental and preachy. You maybe able to work things out fine, but you don't live the life of OP.
I had a medical abortion when I was 24 and I was 6.5 weeks pregnant. I had to take a pill orally and insert misoprostal vaginally 2 days later at home. Effectively, I had my abortion at home. It was painful, messy, and I spent a few weeks crying.
That was 10 years ago and I never really think about it. It made me sad for a little while after it, but it was 100% the right decision for me.
Don't let the preachers get to you, good luck with everything.
Whether or not it makes YOU mad doesn't matter. It's the truth. Those who are anti-religion get all worked up when anyone mentions God and faith. Why is that? Why does it make you uncomfortable? Because you know it's real?
I will pray for the OP. It sounds to me like she and her hubby could definitely make things work but they don't want to be inconvenienced. Now THAT makes ME mad.