Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: If you have had an abortion, please come in.....
No it's not THE truth. It's your truth. People get worked up because it's noneofyourfuckingbusiness. When someone makes a decision like this it's not your place to insert your religious horseshit into it. It's maddening because not everyone believes the same thing you do and it doesn't affect your life any if she has an abortion. The same way I personally think you're choice to put such a financial burden on your family is moronic. I think you're essentially taking stuff away from your other kids selfishly by having this baby. But hey, it's your decision, it doesn't affect me any if you go ahead with your plan. And if you think I'm an ass for my opinion on your situation then read yours. It's exactly as inflammatory.
What is "real" is the OP is making a difficult decision that is hers to make. You want to pray for her, have at it, but it seems like you have a quite a bit on your own plate to pray about so maybe you should concentrate on that. Maybe you should've prayed you wouldn't get pregnant since its so "real".
This might be one of the funniest things I've read in a while.
Oh, and if you're wondering why some people are "anti-religious" just look at the assy responses in this post that are trying to shame and bully the OP into making a choice that isn't right for her and her family. That's what makes me uncomfortable.
And maybe we're not "anti-religious," but anti-people who use religion as an excuse to shove their views down other people's throats.
Not that it's anyone's business, but my family is VERY financially secure. We don't want for anything (other than to build our dream home now instead of when it would be smart to do so - in 2-3 years). Our kids will not suffer in any way because we choose to give this baby life instead of killing it. Yes, my dh and I will make sacrifices, but they are all worth it.
My reasons for being pro-life aren't strictly religious. Yes, I do believe God has a plan for every life and He loves every one of us and knows us before we are even conceived. That is my faith and belief but I don't push it on others. When I say I will pray for you I'm telling you that because it's the truth. I am a Christian and I will pray for you. I don't say it to be "assy" - how can praying be assy???
Anyway, my pro-life stance is equally about life being life. So many pro-choice people claim an unborn baby couldn't survive on its own, therefore it is just a fetus, a parasite, a "thing" that women can "get rid of". If that were our basis for determining whether life was valuable or not, then I suppose all newborn babies, toddlers, handicapped, and elderly should be killed as well since they can't care for themselves either.
This is obviously a topic that people have very strong opinions about and it's not my mission to turn someone who is pro-choice into someone who is pro-life. I respect everyone's beliefs and opinions and simply wish to put mine out here as well (although my beliefs are not being respected at all.) I DO pray that the OP and her husband change their minds. I will continue to pray for them. If you want to attack me for that then that is your choice. It doesn't change the way I feel and I won't be bullied into being quiet because my beliefs are different than yours.
That's where your head is as thick as a concrete slab. The OP didn't ASK whether she should or shouldn't. She MADE A DECISION and needs support. You are telling her she should change her mind. This wasn't an abortion debate. No one cares what you consider life or your relationship with a god. It's NOT ABOUT YOU. You should be quiet not because you have a different opinion, but because your responses have nothing to do with the OP's issue. She asked for SUPPORT IN HER DECISION. Not reasons why she shouldn't do what she plans to do..
You are pushing your beliefs on others. But you don't have to worry about changing anyone's mind from pro-choice to anti-abortion because I feel pretty safe in saying that isn't going to happen.
Why do you insist on being so insulting? Have I called you - or anyone else - names or tried to insult you in any way? You must feel very safe behind your computer screen attacking me like this. I highly doubt you would do it to my face. But anyway.
You are right. The OP asked for us to support her decision to abort. I clearly can not do that. Where you are wrong is saying that this doesn't concern me at all. It does. I'm sad for the baby who is about to be killed and I'm sad for the family who is never going to know the amazing life they could have welcomed into their family or given to someone else to raise. You don't understand that and that's fine.
Carry on with your insults. I can handle it.
Trust me, I'd say it all to your face. No problem with that at all.
It can concern you...in your head. If you can't support her decision, then by all means close the post. That's all you had to do. You can be concerned and sad all you want, but that still doesn't pertain to supporting the OP and her already-made decision. It's not your job to try to make someone feel guilty about their choices. That's why it's still called choice.
I've never had one. I did have an unplanned pregnancy once, though. I was trying to decide what I wanted to do about it when I miscarried. I was so surprised by how devastated I was by losing a child I hadn't even wanted. I would think about how you will feel after, if you are mostly focusing on how you feel right now. I think if I had aborted that pregnancy, I would have regrets today.
On the bright side, if you are sure you don't want any more kids, you don't have to worry that this will impair your future fertility. You could even ask them about sterilization to make sure this doesn't happen again.
@ one more makes four:
Please don't try to argue with these people. They aren't going to change their minds. You and I may be pro-life, but unfortunately there are a lot of people who are set on being pro-choice (or, more aptly, anti-life). I've gotten into these arguments before, (other topics) and it really is a waste of time.
The thing that puzzles me is the fact that it seems, in every argument for/against abortion, those on the pro-choice side become highly defensive (hence the choice comment about your head being as thick as a concrete slab). A defensive insult is almost surely a misgiving of doubt. If you are right, you don't have to be nasty and rude.
These people will never really understand what you are talking about until they can see for themselves what abortion really is. All human life is precious, and one that is still so new isn't any different.
I would ask OP to reconsider, as there are many people (including myself) who will gladly be inconvenienced with the care of a child who is otherwise unwanted. I am completely serious. My husband and I will gladly raise any child. Unfortunately, this issue is often sadly misconstrued as being solely about the mother's life/body/priorities, and not about the life of another human being in the balance.
If my response garners half the backlash that one more makes four's did, it only serves to prove my point.
I never post here either, but sh!t like this is NOT ok! Don't act like it's just no big deal! It makes me so effing angry that people say things like "It's not that bad". It's a human life. I support people in whatever decision they choose but don't belittle the fact that you are ending a life.
No, no, NO. Clearly you don't know what you're talking about here.
I had an abortion at the age of 23 and I have never regretted it once, not even for a moment. I am 100% certain that it was the best thing for my life and I still mantain that stance. Do I think about it? Perhaps 2-3 times a year, usually in the realm of, "wow, that kid would be about 15 now."
I won't lie, it's not an easy decision, nor is it a fun, enjoyable procedure. I think you are very lucky to have your husband on board with you. It would be so much harder to decide the right thing to do if you were at odds with each other.
Best of luck to you. My advice is to give yourself some time to deal with it. Don't go all Wonder Woman and tr to go back to work that day. Give yourself a few days; it's harder on your body and your emotions. Even if you know it's the right thing to do, it's a gut-wrenching decision to make, and not smething anyone does lightly
~ The Nestie formally known as MrsBrittany ~
A word here about semantics...no one here wants the OP, or anyone, to terminate a pregnancy. It's not our business. We just want her to have the choice to do what's right for her and her family. There's nothing "anti-life" about it. She asked for experiences, not opinions.
If you can call me "anti-life," I'm going to call you what I think you really are: anti-woman. Deep down, I think being pro-life (or, more aptly, anti-choice) is really about the desire to punish women for presuming to determine their lives for themselves.
The FACT is that the same number of pregnancies will be terminated regardless of whether it's legal. Roe v. Wade didn't change the abortion rate. All it did was provide access to safe procedures for women who may have otherwise been hurt, or may have even died. You might disagree with their decisions, but those decisions will be made. How pro-life is it to want to reverse a court decision that has saved thousands of women?
Why are pro-choice people so defensive? Because it's really easy for you to exercise your beliefs. No one is threatening to terminate your pregnancy against your will. Active pro-life people, however, want to force women to carry pregnancies to term against their wills. Yeah, that makes me a little defensive.
OP, I have no personal experience to offer you, but I have several close friends who have had abortions, and all of them are comfortable that they did the right thing. And medically, abortion is safer than pregnancy. I'm sorry your thread got hijacked by people a couple of people who don't respect your choice. And I'm sorry I continued the hijacking, but I'm just not able to let this kind of ridiculous language slide.
Oh, that is fantastic. This...this is wine. Yeah. Look what all these idiots are drinking. Look at these dicks! Obviously it's not really delicious, like hot chocolate or Coke, but for wine...brilliant.
Can I ask a question on the highlighted statement? Are you a Vegan? Do you think about the life you ended when you eat an omlette? I am not meaning to be a smart alec but if the highlight statement is your core belief I would hope that you are- After all aren't we all God's creatures?
I'm sorry, but you are mistaken in stating that eating an egg is ending a life. At the risk of sounding like a redneck, I have raised chickens, and the only way there is ever life inside a chicken egg is if the hens are kept with a rooster. If you eat commercial eggs (even those that are organic, cage-free, etc.) this is not the case. Otherwise, it's just the end product of chicken ovulation.
Anyone who desires to eat fetal animals needs their head checked, IMO.
"I'm sorry, but you are mistaken in stating that eating an egg is ending a life. At the risk of sounding like a redneck, I have raised chickens, and the only way there is ever life inside a chicken egg is if the hens are kept with a rooster. If you eat commercial eggs (even those that are organic, cage-free, etc.) this is not the case. Otherwise, it's just the end product of chicken ovulation.
Anyone who desires to eat fetal animals needs their head checked, IMO."
Sure you are correct that an egg needs to be fertilised- even human eggs need that!. That egg has the opportunity to start a life- you buy the egg and support the system that removes these eggs from the environment in which they can be fertilised. That is each egg is an opportunity at starting a new life and according to the poster- life is life and someone is intervening to make sure that life never happens! The same can be argues that every time you eat a chicken you end the possible lives that that chicken could produce. Every time you take a drink of milk you are part of the system that removes calves from mothers to be taken to slaughter so you can enjoy a milkshake!
Can you see how annoying it is when someone tries to shovel their idelas/beliefs down your throat? You don't have to agree but you do need to respect a persons right to choose and have different beliefs. I mean I don't go posting all over threads in the what's cooking board telling people they shouldn't eat meat!
Christanity teaches compassion and forgiveness one thing that I see lacking everytime someone highjacks a thread like this to instruct the OP that what they are doing is wrong. After all Mary Magdelan was considered a wh0re so it is highly probable that she found herself in a very similar situation and yet Jesus still accepted/supported her!
Thank you
I am just simply saying that sometimes the greatest things can come out of the worst. That's all. I will add though, it's sad that I can't even mention God's name without all you people freaking out. Did i get upset about what the rest of what anyone else said? No. And I too will be praying for her. For whatever choice she decides to make.
Exactly! I've not had an abortion myself, but I have several friends who have. And all are extremely comfortable with the decision they made. And it wasn't made lightly - this is not something people decide to do on a whim.
OP, I wish you the best, and I hope you have a smooth recovery.
"I'm sorry, but you are mistaken in stating that eating an egg is ending a life. At the risk of sounding like a redneck, I have raised chickens, and the only way there is ever life inside a chicken egg is if the hens are kept with a rooster. If you eat commercial eggs (even those that are organic, cage-free, etc.) this is not the case. Otherwise, it's just the end product of chicken ovulation.
Anyone who desires to eat fetal animals needs their head checked, IMO."
Sure you are correct that an egg needs to be fertilised- even human eggs need that!. That egg has the opportunity to start a life- you buy the egg and support the system that removes these eggs from the environment in which they can be fertilised. That is each egg is an opportunity at starting a new life and according to the poster- life is life and someone is intervening to make sure that life never happens! The same can be argues that every time you eat a chicken you end the possible lives that that chicken could produce. Every time you take a drink of milk you are part of the system that removes calves from mothers to be taken to slaughter so you can enjoy a milkshake!
I can't get over the fact that you see children and "future chickens" as one and the same.
Maybe to me a life is a life- How dare you complain about people commenting on your beliefs yet you feel it is ok to belittle mine?
Can you see how annoying it is when someone tries to shovel their ideals/beliefs down your throat? You don't have to agree but you do need to respect a person?s right to choose and have different beliefs. I mean I don't go posting all over threads in the what's cooking board telling people they shouldn't eat meat!
So in other words, we should all respect Hitler's choice to exterminate the Jewish people. It was legal, and they weren't recognized as people, so it was okay, right?
Christianity teaches compassion and forgiveness one thing that I see lacking every time someone highjacks a thread like this to instruct the OP that what they are doing is wrong.
Also Christianity and its followers have killed many many many people throughout history (the crusades, the inquisition and pro-lifers shooting abortion clinic doctors). Is it not fair to say that it is hypocritical to pick and choosee when taking a life is ok?
Have people not forgiven that and understand that the times and thinking were different when those historical events occurred. As were the times
and thinking through other not so great times in history like Hitler?s reign. He made choices based on his belief system and whilst people do not have to agree with it, they should respect that it was his choice to make. I am not debating the rights or wrongs of the choice/course of action, just that it is an individual?s choice to decide what they do. Even though there are laws people choose to break.
Compassion and forgiveness are for after the fact. Beforehand, however I will never hesitate to say something. Killing another person is wrong, and I'm sorry if that offends you.
Yes forgiveness is for after the fact but compassion should be for always. That fact was that the OP didn't ask whether abortion was right or wrong but yet you felt you needed to say something. To you a person is an embryo to others it is not. Your beliefs are right to you that does not mean they are right to others. Muslims/Buddhist etc do not believe in your God does that make them wrong?
After all Mary Magdelan was considered a wh0re so it is highly probable that she found herself in a very similar situation and yet Jesus still accepted/supported her!
Just. Wow.
Am I wrong? Could that not be probable- Just WOW is such a compelling argument and all!
Also, two words: spell check.
Are you really this rude and self righteous?
j_jaye:
So basically the case is this: You believe
I believe:
It's obvious that I'm not going to convince you, but that's not what I came on here for anyway. I am hoping that the mother of this child will choose to let him or her live. By the way, if anyone wants to see a picture of what the person who's life is in question looks like, you can. Since I know many people are often offended by embedded pictures, I've just pasted the link. Nothing graphic, just a baby.
http://i1080.photobucket.com/albums/j340/shelovesfrodo/embryo-photo-48-days-7-weeks.jpg
Maybe God planned for her to have an abortion. My guess is that he's not confiding in you, so you don't know.
This. Exactly this.
Since it was my post that spurred the whole egg debate, I will respond. No, I am not a vegan. I don't value animal life above human life. If you want to throw Christianity into this, God gave people animals to sustain human life. Yet today's society is clearly more invested in saving animals than humans. How many "Save the Whales and Polar Bears" campaigns are there? People become outraged when animals are abused, neglected, becoming extinct, and so on - and rightly so. It's terrible. But we applaud women who choose to kill their babies because it's her "right" to do so. I will never understand this.
Also, to say that Christians have killed others in the name of God is true . . . in the Old Testament when God commanded them to do so.
And I can't even BEGIN to describe how stunned I am to hear anyone defend Hitler's actions as his "right" to murder millions of people. That has got to be one of the most ignorant, insensitive, and heinous things I've read here. You seriously can't believe that, right? Maybe you do . . .
Okay, sorry about deleting that, I was signed in with the wrong user name.
As for the pictures being of aborted babies, the photographer explains that unfortunately some are of ectopic pregnancies, (which is another can of worms) and that now he takes pictures of live babies. http://www.lennartnilsson.com/q_a.html
I repeat I never condoned Hitler's actions or said it was his right to kill people- I said it was a choice he made and that it was every humans right to have freedom to make choices. As I said even though there are laws people still choose criminal behaviour and they have to live with those consequences. Children choose to be naughty, individuals choose whether they support fair trade or not , individuakls choose to follow a certain religion etc etc etc.
And again it is you right to believe what you like but it is not your right to tell others what to believe. Maybe you should read the universal declaration of human rights so you can understand that it is everyones right to choose their beliefs and actions.
And yes again you have the right to believe whatever you like- even that God gave animals to humans for sustance but it doesn't mean that I or anyone else has to believe that. As I said if you want change then take positive steps towards change rather than harassing an individual.