How would you feel?

isis12345

ReturnOfKuus:

isis12345:

i dont like him being friends with her and said so a long time ago. he told me he would be transparent about his interactions with her and so i havent really thought twice about it since she intially sent him a request and we talked about it, which was several years back now. 

 

What was his reasoning on why he needs to stay in contact with her, despite it making his wife uncomfortable?  And how does this current interaction play into the transparency he promised?

again, good questions, but i have no answers.

i mean, maybe he thought this interaction was innocuous and not worthy of a mention. 

hindsight's_a_biotch

ReturnOfKuus:

It could just be that they're fb friends, and he commented on a recent status update about her breakup.  But still, IMO you can't expect a former flame to feel harmless to your SO after any melodramatic whining about how heartbroken you were over her.  You can either whine and be dramatic about your exes and have no contact with them whatsoever (including fb), or you can discuss your past neutrally and keep in some form of contact.  Not both.

Of course, I recommend not being a dramatic baby AND not staying in contact, but for some reason a lot of people are incapable of this.

I agree with all of this and I suspect the melodramatic whining is a huge part of the reason the OP is feeling squicky.

It's also possible mr OP is squicky in general and this anything he does deepens that feeling, thus why she was poking around dude's fb.