Politics & Current Events
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: I come bearing gifts from 3rd Tri Now with Masturbation!
I think I'm too immature b/c I'm gagging and thinking of 2 minute long missionary sex and some sort of romance novel talk where some old spinster says 'let him do his duty and then he'll buy you a nice fur.' ::vom::
Also the idea of never turning my husband down for sex makes my vagina hurt. He'd have sex 10 times a day if I'd oblige him.
I love this about Judaism.
I also like that there are built in breaks each month and after giving birth, that men are required to respect (I just wouldn't like not being able to snuggle my husband when I'm on my period).
I should also add that I'm sure DH "serves" me when he isn't in the mood too. It goes both ways. Although I have a feeling DH feels up to it most of the time, so it's a moot point. lol
Who says multiple O's aren't a form of worship? Ever read Song of Songs?
I think it pleases God to see my husband and I enjoying each other in that way. (That sounds creepy, but you know what I mean. lol)
I have a problem with throwing the words marital rape around. Just because I may not be into it when we start doesn't mean that I don't eventually get into it. I'm not lying there lifeless and letting him use me. lol
And that's like saying any time you have sex without having an orgasm you're being raped. There is more to sex than an orgasm, IMO. There are emotional and spiritual components that are equally important and that can be fulfilled even when you're not in the mood to get off.
Nope, you're not alone...my first thought was "kinky"...
This is true. The period of niddah is when observant Jewish men and women don't have physical contact with each other for certain amounts of time around a woman's period. I know there is more to it than that, but my friends who are Orthodox have talked about it being liberating feeling and also a time that kind makes coming back together even better. Sort of "absence makes the heart grow fonder" kind of thing.
My understanding is that women don't have (or shouldn't have) a sex drive, so any sex is only for pleasuring the man
Ergo, female masterbation is not a problem.
I have (I'll try not to take that line as condescending), but I don't find reading scripture about her breasts looking like a doe = worship.
If you're not enjoying it outside of the voyeurism of God 'watching' then it isn't really worship. It's him pumping and moaning, and you trying to make it spiritual.
No, it's not like saying having sex without an orgasm is rape. I said it sounded an awful lot like marital rape. Never refusing sounds like rape. Not being able to orgasm during sex. Perhaps wording can make things clearer.
Like I said, you had me until you said you never refuse. That isn't worship, and that isn't a husband loving his wife as the church.
Zuma Zoom
All of this. I mean it's all well and fine to poke at AW like she lives in a museum but the real issue at hand is that poor man who is not allowed to masturbate because his wife would be "crushed." Yet she doesn't want sex for 11+ weeks.
My Blog
Yes, can you explain this AW?
Either way, I don't care what you do in your marriage as long as you're not telling me what to do in mine.
People, please. Niddah is not all super women empowering. It means a man not touching his wife in labor, or if she is ill, or if her father dies the day she got her period.
I said MOST of the time. I'm sure he doesn't always. And I'm only talking about my DH, not generalizing. My husband wouldn't turn me down because he would be excited that I was doing the pursuing. That's different than saying all men need to masturbate. They aren't animals. lol
Click me, click me!
Hey man, it's not for everyone, but if some people want to do it and they find the experience rewarding, then fine.
I think it's bullsh!t. That is why I'm not Orthodox.
using tears for lube?
{pwanning}{mawwied}
I fixed that last time for you.
I wasn't trying to be condescending. I can see how it came off that way. I was just saying that the Song of Songs shows (for me) how the act of sex can be a beautiful and godly thing - even "kinky" sex (because what was being described there was pretty racy for the time).
I think it's time for me to bow out of this thread though, because the low blows are coming and people are starting to talk badly about my husband spiritually.
Yes they are, so are we...ya know, mammalian.
WRT the bump post, ridiculous expectations that woman has. If he cannot masterbate, dollars to donuts he will find another way to get release. And yeah, 14 years, not a chance.
Bingo.
This is the flip side of submission that people can't comprehend. I like to please my husband because God calls me to serve Him. He in turn is supposed to love me like Christ loves the Church. My husband loves me enough to know not ask me to have sex when I just got done explaining how the kids wore me out all day or when I'm having cramps.
My husband and I can read each other well. Sometimes you just "know" when not to ask. lol
You failed at the not-trying-to-be-condescending thing, again.
Your husband should love you enough to respect your moods and you not being interested in sex. If he doesn't, that speaks volumes over any worship song. No matter how the song is sung.
Zuma Zoom
Like I said, I think it's cool that women are under no obligation to have sex during the times in life when I find myself not in the mood (post-partum or periods). But I can't imagine not even being able to sit on the same couch to chat with my husband, snuggle together and stare at our newborn, or have him give me a backrub during those times.
IDK, smo, the fact that she is down for it when he asks suggests that he does respect her moods by not asking when she's not in the mood in the first place.
I'm not sure what's condescending about what she wrote.
Click me, click me!
Please see what HAB wrote. You're assuming my husband doesn't know me well enough to respect my moods.
So if you know he wants it but isn't asking, isn't that the same as saying no?
Not in my mind.
And actually, if I know he wants it and isn't asking out of respect for me, I usually am so enamored that I end up asking him anyways. At least that's how it goes down sometimes. Other times I know that I can serve him in other ways that respect my mood at the time and still cater to him. In the end we both feel loved and respected. That's the goal.
This time it was the bolded correction to my post.
I guess if that is the case, then there is no need to firmly state, "I don't say no. Period." That would imply that she has had sex when she hasn't been in the mood. Which brings us back to my point.
I was rolling with her concept until the quoted bit.
Zuma Zoom
Ok but you see what I'm saying right? You can't tote the 'Oh I'm submissive and always say yes' when in reality you know he wants some but you don't put out.. Sometimes you may throw the dog a bone, but that's not some hyper-religious 'god wants me to' stuff, that's normal relationship stuff.
Edit- stupid iPad
Lot's of "normal relationship stuff" is also "God wants me to stuff". They aren't mutually exclusive. For some people even the normal relationship stuff is attempted to be done with the intent of pleasing God. If your faith tells you that every decision you make or action will either please Him or not, you can't really separate the normal stuff from the rest. Normal is "hyper-religious" for those people. KWIM?
I don't understand why people combine sex and religion. It totally disturbs me. God doesn't care!
Either that, or he/she is an old pervert.
I fixed it for you.