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husband/marriage/sex issues.
I keep typing long paragraphs and deleting.
Basically- I've been having issues with depression and anxiety, and our marriage has been very rocky. A huge part is that I don't want to have sex with him. So now it's all he ever talks about. Sex sex sex. Blow me, fucck me, bend over, when when when. It's exhausting. I have told him countless times that the more he talks about it and yells about it, the less it makes me want to do it. It's become almost the only thing he talks about.
Last weekend, he brought wine home to get me drunk and hopefully "loosen me up". We had a normal evening, except I drank more than normal because he was really pushing it. I ended up falling asleep on the couch while we're watching a movie. I wake up some time later to him having sex with me. But the wine and the sleep must have put me into a really confused state- I didn't know what was going on at first, or that it was him. I was really really alarmed, and freaked the heck out. In my confused, partially drunk, partially asleep state, I began fending off my attacker. He quickly was trying to calm me down, "hey hey it's ok! it's ok! I love you, it's me! it's me! wake up!"
After a few minutes of that, I woke up- I got my bearings and realized what was happening. I told him never to do that again, and got my clothes on. He flipped out. Calling me cuunt, b*tch, etc etc. Yelling, really mad. I am a horrible tease, I'm a horrible person, I won't have sex with my husband and now I create a huge scene like this (and leave him hanging).
The next day I was really angry and told him so. I told him to never do it again. But since he is so angry on the opposite side of the spectrum here, I say, Let's just never talk about it again and agree to disagree. He reluctantly agrees- he really, really feels I was in the wrong here.
It's been a week. I can't stop thinking about it. And now? Now it's not just like I won't have sex with him, I won't TOUCH him. He makes me sick.
Re: husband/marriage/sex issues.
The next day I was really angry and told him so.
Wow that will teach him not to rape you!
Do you want to stay married to him?
Seriously if you really want to then get both of you to theropy soon both by yourselves and also together. Yes what he did was wrong but you have issues to work out too.
Are you fuuucking kidding me? I would have beaten him to within an inch of his life and called the cops on his disgusting ass. Why would you want to stay married to a man who raped you and then tried to make YOU feel bad about it? He is a piece of sh!t.
Your initial instincts were completely right. Regardless of whether he is your husband or not -he absolutely was your attacker.
I also have to wonder if he also drugged your drink. I've had a LOT of wine in my day and I don't know that I've ever been so drunk that someone could start having sex with me and I wouldn't notice. Maybe you were just that inebriated, but it sounds really suspicious.
The sort of person who would have sex with ply his wife with alcohol, wait for her to pass out, rape her and then scream at her for not letting him finish is very much the kind of guy who'd throw a little something extra into the mix.
Holy craap. That's beside the point. Obviously, you should be able to get as plastered as absolutely possible and trust that your husband isn't going to fvvvcking rape you. But really something to throw in before you even think about blaming yourself for the amount you had to drink.
He really feels you are wrong here? So he'd see nothing wrong with doing something like this again.
This jackasss is dangerous. Seriously. Get the fvvvck out today and seek rape counseling.
Ah, yes. It's past time to get out.
Edit: Leave. Now. Don't look back.
Are you serious??
OP - of course you don't want to touch him. He raped you. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I honestly don't see how you could ever want him to touch you again.
You were raped. I know that's hard to hear... but there's no gray area. You were raped by someone who you were supposed to be able to trust completely.
There's no fixing this. No amount of therapy can fix that your husband sees you as his own personal f00k doll.
Leave. Now.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
How many times am I going to have to have Nikki provide me a different translation of "you're too stupid to live" today?
Eh... let's go with the classic version. gmugrad- this particular reply is absolutely revolting and... well, you know the rest.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
I was asking because why is she still with him? But if she wants to be then yeah she needs to get theropy and as does he. She didn't say she was leaving. The post should read DH raped me do you know a good lawyer.
So what you are saying is that sluts deserve to be raped.
Of course he makes you sick. I would never be able to trust him again, let alone want anything to do with touching him ever again.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Over the past couple of years, when he initiates sex when I'm sleeping (he stays up later than I do), sometimes I'll just let him do his thing (this is embarrassing to type out!).
LOL. I was trying to formulate a response to that, but just couldn't. So thanks.
OP - I think you know you need to leave him. There are obviously a ton of issues in your marriage.
Absolutely not.
Time to leave. Now. Don't look back.
Make a pit stop at the police station and tell them you were raped.
I'll go ahead and state the obvious here... nothing anyone does ever makes them deserved to be raped. I don't care what you're wearing, what you're doing or where you are... no one has the right to rape another person. Ever.
http://pandce.proboards.com/index.cgi#general
Really.
I can see why you sought affection elsewhere.
It's time for you to lawyer up. You should also go to counseling to figure out why you have accepted this for so long. You deserve so much more.
Really really.
THEN WHAT THE FOOK WAS YOUR POINT??
No. NO NO NO NO NO.
You cheated, yes. But it no way, shape, or form does that mean you deserved to be raped. You do not deserve that. Please leave him.
That there was more backstory that lead to this point. Everyone has a breaking point. OP's H reached his with the lack of affection from his W. And then he did something terrible. I am most definitely not disputing that.
No. No one deserves to be married to an abusive azzhole who would do what he did to you. No one.
You need to leave and not look back.
Is there anyone IRL who you could go to for help?
NONONONONONO!!
You've made mistakes. We all have. The fact that you cheated is a symptom of a bigger problem. This marriage is not good for you. It brings you down.
No, you don't. Read my post above. I don't care what you've done... no one deserves that.
http://pandce.proboards.com/index.cgi#general