Politics & Current Events
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Ten Things I Want to Tell Teenage Girls
The neckline stuff I don't see as much but what is up with shorts these days. ::brushes off cane::
I see what appear to be well put together girls walking through the mall with their asscheeks hanging out. I am not joking butt out of shorts. And they don't look like they are trying to be skanky. It just appears that this is now the accepted norm?
The other day I was walking up the steps to my son's daycare and got a full butt view of the girl in front of me. She was a college girl and looked to be trying to apply for a work study job. I clutched my pearls.
The last time someone posted a tanning question I'd estimate that 90+% of the responses on F&B were "don't be stupid! You'll get cancer." or something along those lines.
Zeus and Bubba
HA! We had to put our arms down and our skirts had to go beneath our fingertips. One of my skirts was shorter b/c my grandma hemmed it (they started super long and had huge hems, btw - very easy to let out in the case of mid-year growth spurt), and my grandma is a hussy.
I got in trouble for that skirt once, and one of my male classmates told my teacher that I couldn't help having such nice legs that were longer than all the other girls. I was like, "thanks, grandma."
But that's not what I'm saying. The goal here isn't to keep men from being turned out. For starters, you can't do that via dress anyway and secondly rape isn't about being turned on anyway, it's about aggression and power.
What I'm saying is that you dress for the occasion in a way that flatters your personality and your figure without distracting from either. Men should as well.
In short, women are worth more than the sum of their parts so why is it so wrong to tell young girls to dress in a way that frames the sum of their parts appropriately? You don't want people, not just men to think of you only for your and tits, then try dressing in a way that doesn't put your ass and tits front and center.
Click me, click me!
I am such a mix of backwoods and hippy that sometimes I come across as hypocritical and that isn't my intent.
I have never been a true feminist in the sense that *** YEA WE ARE WOMEN HEAR US ROAR, I am much more subtle so it was hard for me to find a balance that worked with how I wanted babycopz and copzson to view their own sexuality and the sexuality of the opposite sex. It was so important to teach them respect for their own bodies early on. If you don't have respect for yourself it is hard to convey so many things..importance/self worth/confidence to name a few. I wanted them to project those things to those around them in order for them to establish a great friend base with similar belief structures and also give them the back up they may need in difficult situations.
I love being a woman. Love it, I wouldn't change it for the world. I love my soft edges and tenderness that comes naturally from it. However, my daughter isn't cut from my cloth. She is more intense and less care free so I needed to make sure she saw that it was ok to be herself and still let her see that I am a strong role model by being assertive even though I tend to rule with my heart.
I think I got a lot of grief because copzson will automatically open a door for a woman. That is who he is, he doesn't do it to belittle or take away a womans power. He does it out of respect for a woman. The respect he has for me sometimes knocks the wind out of me. He doesn't want to humble me with it, but appreciates me for who I am as a woman. He has mentioned many times that I have ruined him for finding a wife..because he wants it both out of a woman....strength and someone who doesn't feel defensive of being a woman.
It is a constant battle every single day raising a teenage daughter and trying to empower her but give her the freedom to embrace what being a woman means.
You all have seen pictures of babycopz and although I am almost done doing all I can do for her under my roof I can say I am most proud of her ability to do it all, and she makes me proud every single day with her devotion to herself/studies/and friends. I have never seen her dress as if she doesn't care who sees her goods, but she never hides who she is.
GD, this is long and full of personal sh!t but I am damn proud of the kids I raised and thankful their father saw things my way as well. It was a team effort even if we weren't under the same roof
And wasn't posting to correct you, which is how it came across. Just saying that maybe the IQ level is on the rise, which is good news.
Zeus and Bubba
Are you telling me that emulating Freddie Mercury is not appropriate for the workplace?
Hmm, I may have to have an awkward conversation with groomy tonight.
That's what I was trying to say..........while working and switching screens as people walk by my cube
Thanks for that copz. The things that stick out to me are that you have obviously spent time on fostering your kids on the inside. I think when you have a strong sense of self-esteem that will always show more, despite whatever is reflected on the outside. It doesn't mean people with strong self-esteem will never wear make up or a pant with writing on the butt, but it does mean you don't need those things to get attention or feel sexy. It is what it is. I feel like you can tell the person that just is naturally something versus the person who is obviously trying to gain attention to substitute for something that is lacking on the inside. I think point one is trying to address the latter.
Ah, okay. Sorry, mere.
Click me, click me!
A friend of mine who worked in the food service industry always thought those shorts should be banned from restaurants. If having someone in a restaurant without a shirt on is against health code, having your a$$ cheeks hanging out isn't sanitary, either.
40/112
shorts are awful....awful right now. They do not exist in normal lengths at all. It is either asscrack short or swim trunk length, like any girl wants to wear swim drunk length
This is bull$h!t.
I was a DD cup on a thin frame in high school. I didn't ask for that to happen. I spent many of my teenage years in baggy tee shirts, sweatshirts, and sweaters 1-2 sizes bigger, desperately trying to hide my body to no avail. I didn't deliberately seek ANY attention, but it was still there, in the form of young boys who thought it was fine to try to grab me, or older men whistling and catcalling from their cars, even if I was walking with a parent. I presented myself as modestly as I possibly could, and you know what? Boys/men who lacked self control still harassed me. My self esteem was in the tank because I felt I must be "bad" to be garnering such a reaction.
It took me many years to realize that it was their problem, not mine and to value myself by not hiding anymore and wearing whatever the hell I wanted to.
Rarely do I back up Pamela, but I agree with what she is saying and I am a member of the Big Boob Committee. It's hard as hell for me to get my nursing boobies (H cup) into a button down shirt. And as a high school student and college student I would try on endless tops to find one that didn't leave me feeling exposed. I'm also pretty slender, so I still feel awkward.
While yes, no one is "asking" for the wayward eyes of men, there is something to be said for dressing tastefully, and then looking like Nicki Minaj. Someone else said teens are looking like baby prostitutes. And she's dead spot on. Some of the stuff I see young girls wearing isn't because they couldn't find a top that fits. The trend is to take a Hollister shirt and cut the V in the V-neck deeper. Your boobs aren't in the shirt anymore, they are out on a dayum platter.
As for the men grabbing and catcalling - they are grade A dirtbags. We all know that. But this isn't about dirtbags and calling them on dirbaggery. This is about 15,16, 17 yr olds dressing in ways that only Pam Anderson or a Porn Star should dress. That is wildly inappropriate. I'm not saying a burqa is needed, but the Hooters Girls are more covered than some of the ish I have seen.
FYI - I JUST saw some decent length shorts at Ann Taylor Loft.
I was going to say this. It's frustrating. I always go with the long, swim trunk length ones, but I don't love them. I just want a freaking normal pair of shorts that don't leave my butt cheeks hanging out. Grrr.
I had a similar figure and I am not advocating for hiding one's figure. After all, baggy tees, sweater, and too big clothing aren't flattering either. It's not about being a wallflower or putting off male attention. That's the other extreme.
There is middle ground here and that what girls and women should be looking for.
Click me, click me!
I'd be happy if the IQ has risen. It was about 50/50 when the post happened. I just hate "I only tan in the winter, I won't get cancer, blah blah" People justify it even though it's deadly. Plus they say idiotic things like the tan=skinny.
Zuma Zoom
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(Also a member of the big (but not enormous) boob club who had to have most tops tailored for me by mom/grandma growing up. Thank goodness my BFing size did not stick around.)
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