NDR: Missing my son today - he would be 25 : (PIPs)

Davescatch

Sorry to put this on D&R but you know I think this board is simply the best.

Today is a hard day for me and I have to put down somewhere (other than FB) my feelings since I don't blog. Today is Jonathan's birthday - for those who don't know, my son died on 3/1 when his apartment caught fire. He was simply put the best thing I have ever done in my life HANDS DOWN. I had 4 miscarriages before I delivered him so he was truly a miracle boy to me. My heart aches so badly today, I never imagined such physical pain like this. But I am going to make it thru the day. I had hoped to be doing better but right now I am just a mess, inside and out

Today is also the second meeting of all the lawyers and fire investigation team, trying to determine the cause of the fire. We have no closure on this, no final death certificate to start the painful process of closing accounts, etc......his certificate has a big PENDING on it.

Asking for prayers today for me, my husband Dave, Jonathan's dad Larry, his stepmom Ingrid and especially Jonathan's brother Benjamin, age 17, who has lost his big brother.

Happy Birthday my angel in heaven - I can't wait to see you again. For now, we will send our love and birthday wishes skyward. And fyi, Indy would like to eat your piece of birthday cake, if that's ok.

Thanks ladies for letting me write here.  Have a good day!

 

~Diane~

A fews pics...

Jonathan and mom, he was a year old in this pic, OMG my hair and those huge glasses.....1988 called and needs then back right now:

Jonathan in 2012:

 

 

Our last pic together taken on 2/6/12  - I look at this pic and wonder if I will ever be happy like she was?

 

We started a memorial garden and some dear friends at work gave us this beautiful stone to put in the garden - it makes me happy

 

I love this photo - I commissioned to have Jonathan's name written in the sand by a very special person, it was done at a beautiful beach in Australia. I'm going to get it printed and framed for my family for Mother's Day.  If anyone wants the website, let me know.  It costs $20 I believe.  Look up "seashore of remembrance" and you will get to Carly's website.

MNVegas

My heart goes out to you. 

SailorGray

DT - I think about you and Jonathan quite often. I have two boys and sometimes when I watch them, I think of your boy. Those pics are priceless (especially b/c of the hair and glasses...lol).  I wish there was something magical I could say, but I am at a loss.

Sweet Sadie Mae

Oh this breaks my heart still. Happy birthday to your sweet boy. My daughter just turned one and I know exactly what you mean when you say "he was the best thing I have ever done in my life." She is my world and I couldn't live without her. You are strong. Stay strong Momma. T&P and *hugs*

smtaylor1

I am so sorry.  It will be a hard day.  My situation is a bit different but I know it sucks.  We're coming up on my son's birthday and its not easy.  Good luck in your meetings...that is rought that they got scheduled for today.  Lots of prayers going your way.

SSM&JLM

I am so sorry again for your loss and I can't imagine how hard this day must be for you.  I hope that you get the closure you guys need quickly from everyone so you can continue your healing process.

sratsey

I remember when you posted this.  I'm so sorry again for your loss and the pain you must be going through.  I'll keep you in my prayers, especially today.

Rock-n-Voll

I cannot imagine...my heart goes out to you and your family.  I hope you get some answers and closure very soon.

lovemymonkey

Diane,

My heart breaks for you. No parent should have to experience the loss of a child. Absolutely inconceivable. I am so very sorry. (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) 

Lifting you and your family up in prayer on this bittersweet day. Praying for closure on the fire investigation and for healing for your family.

thinking of you and your sweet son today.

((((hugs))))

sugardumpling

DT I not a day goes by i don;t think of you and say a little prayer for you.  You are am amazing lady.  I too wish i could turn back time and go back to the day before March 1.  Hugs and kisses and much love to you.  Happy Birthday Jonathan.  I know he is watching over you all.

pinkeggs

What a handsome man. Thank you for sharing the photos with us. I am so sorry for your loss, and I can only imagine how your heart is hurting today. Many prayers for your comfort and peace. *hug*

Pumpkin30

You have my thoughts and prayers.

nmoe

I'm so sorry.  Prayers for peace and comfort for you

Peggy Olson

I am so sorry for your loss and pray that you and your family eventually are at peace. I can't imagine how difficult it has been and will be for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers in this horrible time.

emoflamingo

Sending you lots of hugs.

FoxinFiji

Again my T&P go out to you.  I hope they are able to help give you some closure soon and that you have as peaceful of a day as you can at the shore. 

shesthetoast

Still thinking of you and praying for you, my friend.

((hugs)) 

dr.girlfriend

I'm so sorry.  I've been thinking of you often.  Jonathan seems like a truly amazing individual, and I'm glad that you feel up to sharing him with this board.  I'll keep you in my thoughts.

jacqueblittle

My thoughts go out to you today especially on his 25th Birthday , I am so very sorry.   Thank you for sharing the lovely pictures of you and your son, I love seeing them...

CrackHabit

((((( hugs )))))

I love his name in the sand.

count the stars

((hugs)).  Thinking of you and your son on his birthday.  I can't even imagine how difficult today will be for you, but hope that you find peace. 

aka08bride

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I am sorry you are in such pain. I hope you can find peace and comfort and one day truly smile again.

Happy Birthday Jonathan.

MrsEmilyS

DT you continue to be in prayers. 

IamAli

I'm so very sorry.

 

Happy Birthday Jonathan.

 

My sister, whom we lost in a car accident on Xmas Eve, has a birthday next month, just days before mine. I don't know how I'm going to manage.  I know we're virtually strangers, but I think of you often and hope you're well.  (((hugs)))

TacoriLover

I'm so sorry for what you're having to go through.  You are in our thoughts and prayers.  There's simply nothing that can ease a mother's paint of loosing a child.  Hugs. 

Jhawks482

As much as I hate to hear that you're in pain, I love that you come here and tell us about him and how you are doing. I think most of the ladies here would agree with that statement. I wish so badly that I could reach out to you somehow. Instead I'm praying- for you and the family. Hang in there, DT- I think about you often.

ericanandy

DT Happy Birthday to him. Know that you're thought about often. Not only you, but also your son. He won't be forgotten. Continued thoughts and prayers to you.

mrs.jacinthe

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with all that today of all days.  Much love and prayers to you and your family.

The Housewife

I am in tears reading this - I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts go out to you and your family. I usually lurk on this board, and I can't speak for everyone, but I enjoy you sharing about your son. You raised a very handsome man, and I'm sure he had a wonderful heart. I hope you get some closure soon on the investigation so you can begin to heal. You'll never get over the loss of a child, but you WILL be happy again. 

berrysweet

You and your family continue to be in my prayers Diane. I'm so sorry that everything is still in such a state of "pending" right now--I can only imagine how much more difficult that must make things.

That photo of Jonathan's name on the beach is just breathtaking. 

RedRedWine2

I am so very very sorry. My heart breaks for you. Thinking of you...he was blessed to have such a wonderful mom.