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Did you keep track of no-shows at your wedding?
Perhaps this would be best as a poll, but honestly, I'm quite confused. Maybe it is because I had more people than planned show up, but there are only a few people I can think of that didn't make it. I still talk to them, and I'm not really hurt by it at all.
If you did-- did you have assigned seating?
Do you remember every single person that came to your wedding?
EDIT: I guess I was a little frustrated when DH's OOT family RSVPed yes for the rehearsal and didn't bother to show up, but I still don't think it was a huge deal.
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Re: Did you keep track of no-shows at your wedding?
I do remember who no-showed, because there were only a few. Only one really annoyed me - the others were understandable (serious illness, and the person didn't feel up to traveling so her family stayed home).
I do remember who came to my wedding.
There were no no-shows, but we only had 65 people come to our wedding. I know them all well so yes.
I do know the one couple that my MIL insisted we invite came ate, drank a ton, left, and did not even give us a card. Never forgetting that one! LOL!
Daycare is SO exhausting!
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My first, no. There were far too many people invited to keep tabs. And I was too busy trying to find my ex-h all night long.
My second, absolutely. Then again, there were only 40 people invited so I knew who was and wasn't coming.
Yes, but there was only one, and the only reason I knew before seeing his empty seat at the reception was because I happened to run into his wife at the mall that afternoon while getting my fake lashes put on, and she told me.
ed: There were only 40 people including us, so one missing is noticeable.
We had an out-of-town wedding for pretty much everyone, so everyone that said they would show up showed.
We had assigned seating.
The day was pretty busy, so I guess I don't know if I would have noticed if someone wasn't there. Maybe after the fact.
Not our wedding, because it was a surprise wedding. I do notice when people have accepted to a dinner party or other kind of thing I'm throwing, and then just don't show up. Most have some legitimate excuse, but the ones who were just 'tired', 'didn't feel up to it/didn't feel like it, it had been a long day' or whatever, get one more invite and then they're pretty much off the list.
the only people who no showed were my maternal grandparents, so i noticed.
not that i'm bitter.
jerkwads.
I kept track of 'no' RSVPs, but I can't remember feeling upset about any particular person not being there.
There were only a few that didn't show.
I remember walking to the place card table and noting who was there.
Only one really bothered us and you bet your ass we said something.
We didn't have any no-shows. We did have someone call the week of and tell us they couldn't make it.
71 workouts completed in 2012
I had a few no shows to my first wedding, my uncle included.
No-shows really piss me off.
We had about 10-15 people no-show at our wedding and I definitely noticed because that was $700+ I had to shell out for nothing. Only one person was ill (plus her husband), the rest just bailed out. Most of them were Marines from my husbands unit, one chick was my MOH's sister who got an invite to the beach a few days before and decided to take it. If I knew enough in advance I tried to fill their seats with friends of my brother so he'd have more people to hang with.
I don't know, maybe I'm uptight, but I paid for my wedding myself and that was a lot of money wasted.
We had a guest list of 200 and only 150 showed up. We didn't have assigned seats but when we walked around to greet the guest during the reception, I got to see who was there.
Some people had emergencies, completely forgot or just didn't come. It didn't bother me that they didn't show up but that we wasted $1500 on their seats.
We had assigned tables, so I knew by the namecards who didn't show. I think it was about 3-4 people who were people H worked with. I didn't really care since I hardly knew them anyway.
Everyone who RSVP'ed yes had a favor bag of dipped pretzels (that doubled as place cards) sitting out on a table and there were none left so everyone must have been there that said they were coming.
I remember most of the people that were there. I had forgotten a few of DH's college friends were there until I looked at some pics recently.
My BFF's little brother had RSVP'ed no but at the last second showed up so he was squeezed in at their table.
We had assigned seating that I carefully laid out so DH's parents were at opposite ends of the room from each other.
ETA: We had assigned TABLES, not seating.
Sort of. One couple stands out - Nigel's cousin and his girlfriend, but he sort of has a reputation as a flake and we really don't ever see them anyway (he lives in Dublin). I think they sent us a gift... anyway we never like, called them out on it or anything.
We did have assigned tables (but not seating) and I also looked at the placecards to see who didn't come.
I probably do not remember every single person that came to our wedding.
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
My mother did.
It's been five years and she's still talking about her cousin, whose three daughters RSVP'd for themselves and their husbands and then came alone. (They also "went together" with their parents on a gift of a $25 check.) Didn't bother me, but I think it got to her because having been through weddings themselves, all three of my cousins and their dad knew she would have paid for six, even though only three came.
I believe youngest cousin's second wedding is this weekend. My mom, who taught me everything I knew about being passive aggressive, is getting her a picture frame from Target.
Absolutely. I had three no-shows at my wedding. Two were excusable and completely understandable: their daughter had fallen off a slide the day before and was put in a partial body cast.
The other was an old friend who had previously admitted to me that it was difficult being around me because my happiness made her feel worse about her life. She rsvp'ed yes, even though she told a mutual friend that there was no way she was coming, and then didn't show up. I only spoke to her once after that, to tell her that what she did was really hurtful.
I think it's more likely that people who served a plated meal would be more aware of no-shows rather than those who had buffet, rather than assigned seating or not. When I paid as much as I did per head, you bet I'd notice someone who intentionally said they were coming but knew full-well they never intended to show up!
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i had a buffet and i paid per head.
love you, buffets!
Yes.
We had assigned seating and an entire table of people didn't show up (my dad's table w/his side of the family). My sister and dad finally showed up 3 hours late, but her daughter (and daughter's date) and her "omg I HAVE to bring him" date AND my aunt/uncle were not in tow. No cards from sis/dad, either.
We had only had like 68 people so it was very easy to notice.
Lol!
I remembered at the time who said they were coming and then didn't. It's aggravating because we had to pay for them and could have saved some money. In the long run it doesn't matter and I don't remember now who they were. We did have assigned seating and I do not remember everyone who came.
I can see the case detectives now,scratching their heads at the new serial killer in the heartland..."What is the connection between the victims??? if we only knew we could find the killer!"
But they never will. Burn that list.
Um, yeah. Every buffet I've ever planned has made you pay per head.
Including my own wedding.
However, I only paid for the number they planned on, rather than the number who actually showed (thank goodness, because I had at least 50 extras).
Yeah, but everyone had a reason.
H's priest and his wife were supposed to come, but their babysitter backed out at the last minute so she had to stay home.
One couple was coming in from NYC and got sick.
We had one couple that just had a baby 10 days before the wedding; the wife attended the ceremony and was going to go home and send her husband to the reception for a little bit (5 min away) but they both fell asleep. I was amazed either of them made it at all. That meant a lot to me.
50 extras?!? Did you have a gigantic wedding?
Mine was only 120 or so, so 50 extras would have made us too big for the inn we were using, no joke.
We had 5 no shows (or 7, depending on how you look at it). These weren't people who rsvp'ed "no", they were people who rsvp'ed "yes" and then just didn't show up.
All of them pisssed me off.
1. my sister's FIL, he decided not to come because he was mad at my sister. It had nothing to do with me, and I was irritated because he was also supposed to bring my sister's niece and since he didn't come she couldn't either. So that's 2 empty seats/meals paid for for nothing.
2. my 19 year old (male) cousin. This one doesn't REALLY bother me, his excuse was that one of his friends who had been serving overseas came home and their crew was getting together to party that night. I was kind of annoyed until the entire rest of his family told me how they laid into him for ditching, and I figured that that was punishment enough. Plus, he's a 19 year old dude, sitting through a wedding is probably the last thing on his priority list.
3. friends of H's sent him a text at 11pm the night before our wedding (when I was in super stress mode) and told him that their little girl wasn't feeling well so they wouldn't be coming. I get that excuse and was fine with it, but then they literally dropped off the face of the planet. We have never seen or spoken to these two again.
4. One of my college girlfriends. This is the only one that truly pisssed me off, and pretty much destroyed our friendship. We were keeping our wedding small because we were paying for it ourselves, so we didn't invite any of our single friends to bring a date. (We invited boyfriends and girlfriends, but didn't send out any invites as a plus one). I had a group of girlfriends from college who were invited, some were married, some had boyfriends, but most were single. This girl was part of this big group of friends, so it's not like she would have been alone the whole night or anything, and it wouldn't have been weird, but she BEGGED me to let her invite someone. I explained about the keeping it small thing, told her about all of our mutual friends who would be coming alone, etc, but she kept asking if she could bring someone. It seemed really important to her, so I finally said that was fine. But she couldn't tell me WHO she was bringing. It was supposed to be one of two guys, or another female friend of hers. We had assigned seating, but three or four days before the wedding she was still undecided about who was coming (?) so she said to just not bother with a seating card for her date, they would just know that they'd be sitting next to her. Fine.
The night before the wedding she was texting me about how excited she was to be there, and to see all our friends who would be there (some of whom she hadn't seen since graduation) etc etc. Then the day of the wedding, she didn't show up. Obviously, neither did her mystery date. She didn't text me or anything to let me know that she wouldn't be there, no apology for not coming, nothing. But a few days later when people started posting pictures on FB, she was commenting on all of them like "Oh, you were so beautiful!" "What a gorgeous day!" etc. As if she was there! What. The. Fcvk.
I was completely irritated that she was so flaky, but what really super pissed me off was that after explaining to her about not inviting plus ones I finally gave in to her, and then NEITHER of them showed up. *** sakes.
It seems like I'm still irritated by these, and I'm not. It's funny now, but it was really the only part of my wedding day that bothered me back then.