Did you keep track of no-shows at your wedding?

CaptainSerious

I've been quoted prices for buffets in groups before, too.  If you have a dozen of fewer people it's $x, 13-25 people it's $y, 26-50 it's $z, and so on.

Also, at a buffet, people are more likely to be milling about during mealtimes, making it harder to notice vacancies.

cvillebetrothed

CaptainSerious:

I've been quoted prices for buffets in groups before, too.  If you have a dozen of fewer people it's $x, 13-25 people it's $y, 26-50 it's $z, and so on.

Also, at a buffet, people are more likely to be milling about during mealtimes, making it harder to notice vacancies.

um okay.

you win?  plated dinners mean you pay by the exact number and not a jot more or less and therefore notice more?

2beJessieD

There were four, one was in a serious car accident the day before so he and his girlfriend didn't show, the other two were an elderly couple who were firends with my in-laws and one of them ended up in the hospital with breathing issues and passed about a month later. 

 Honestly I only remember because of the death and because my venue tried to charge me $50 bucks for the photographer assistaints meal. I wouldn't have minded paying it because it was my mistake if I didn't have four meals in back being eaten by the staff.  The staff also argued with my mother that the flower arrangements were theirs to take off the tables and take home.  Needless to say I was not pleased with the staffs handeling of the reception.

Jaylea

CaptainSerious:

I've been quoted prices for buffets in groups before, too.  If you have a dozen of fewer people it's $x, 13-25 people it's $y, 26-50 it's $z, and so on.

Also, at a buffet, people are more likely to be milling about during mealtimes, making it harder to notice vacancies.

I paid $XX per head (incidentally, wedding pricing is super high in my area and it was still above what a lot of my friends paid for their 5 course sit-downs with open bar in other areas). The number you give corresponds to the number of tables set up and placesettings, and tables were assigned, so I could see whose placecards were left on the table and where the empty seats were.

huber22

Jaylea:

huber22:

However, I only paid for the number they planned on, rather than the number who actually showed (thank goodness, because I had at least 50 extras).

50 extras?!? Did you have a gigantic wedding?

Mine was only 120 or so, so 50 extras would have made us too big for the inn we were using, no joke.

Thankfully our venue had a huge deck and my anal uncle came out the morning of the wedding and set tables up on the lawn (without my knowledge). There was room for everyone.

We had about 450 people at the reception.

 

JEHC

Holy shiit I wrote a diatribe.

cvillebetrothed

Jaylea:

CaptainSerious:

I've been quoted prices for buffets in groups before, too.  If you have a dozen of fewer people it's $x, 13-25 people it's $y, 26-50 it's $z, and so on.

Also, at a buffet, people are more likely to be milling about during mealtimes, making it harder to notice vacancies.

I paid $XX per head (incidentally, wedding pricing is super high in my area and it was still above what a lot of my friends paid for their 5 course sit-downs with open bar in other areas). The number you give corresponds to the number of tables set up and placesettings, and tables were assigned, so I could see whose placecards were left on the table and where the empty seats were.

WRONG.  you paid for a RANGE and everyone was traipsing around SO YOU COULDN'T TELL.  okay?!  get it straight.

NatSnow

I had 180 people, and I think 4 people didn't show.  I didn't go looking for it, but I definitely noticed. It's irritating when you pay so much for them to be there.

CaptainSerious

cvillebetrothed:

CaptainSerious:

I've been quoted prices for buffets in groups before, too.  If you have a dozen of fewer people it's $x, 13-25 people it's $y, 26-50 it's $z, and so on.

Also, at a buffet, people are more likely to be milling about during mealtimes, making it harder to notice vacancies.

um okay.

you win?  plated dinners mean you pay by the exact number and not a jot more or less and therefore notice more?

Weird.  I wasn't arguing, just continuing a conversation.

Jaylea

cvillebetrothed:

Jaylea:

CaptainSerious:

I've been quoted prices for buffets in groups before, too.  If you have a dozen of fewer people it's $x, 13-25 people it's $y, 26-50 it's $z, and so on.

Also, at a buffet, people are more likely to be milling about during mealtimes, making it harder to notice vacancies.

I paid $XX per head (incidentally, wedding pricing is super high in my area and it was still above what a lot of my friends paid for their 5 course sit-downs with open bar in other areas). The number you give corresponds to the number of tables set up and placesettings, and tables were assigned, so I could see whose placecards were left on the table and where the empty seats were.

WRONG.  you paid for a RANGE and everyone was traipsing around SO YOU COULDN'T TELL.  okay?!  get it straight.

Well, really, I lose anyway since buffets are cheap.

Right?

PS - What really got me was that our leftovers were on the Inns famous brunch buffet the next morning - I shouldn't have had to pay for that ish twice!

cvillebetrothed

CaptainSerious:

cvillebetrothed:

CaptainSerious:

I've been quoted prices for buffets in groups before, too.  If you have a dozen of fewer people it's $x, 13-25 people it's $y, 26-50 it's $z, and so on.

Also, at a buffet, people are more likely to be milling about during mealtimes, making it harder to notice vacancies.

um okay.

you win?  plated dinners mean you pay by the exact number and not a jot more or less and therefore notice more?

Weird.  I wasn't arguing, just continuing a conversation.

your conversational style is a wee bit combative. 

signed,

it takes one to know one

CaptainSerious

cvillebetrothed:

Jaylea:

CaptainSerious:

I've been quoted prices for buffets in groups before, too.  If you have a dozen of fewer people it's $x, 13-25 people it's $y, 26-50 it's $z, and so on.

Also, at a buffet, people are more likely to be milling about during mealtimes, making it harder to notice vacancies.

I paid $XX per head (incidentally, wedding pricing is super high in my area and it was still above what a lot of my friends paid for their 5 course sit-downs with open bar in other areas). The number you give corresponds to the number of tables set up and placesettings, and tables were assigned, so I could see whose placecards were left on the table and where the empty seats were.

WRONG.  you paid for a RANGE and everyone was traipsing around SO YOU COULDN'T TELL.  okay?!  get it straight.

WFT, cville?  Angry much?  I didn't say what anyone else did or didn't pay.  In fact, the first time I wrote it I think I wrote "I've also been quoted in ranges for buffets before," but when the nest ate my first post, I shortened it.  I'm sure some pay per head and some pay per group; it's just my impression.

I don't know why you took it as an attack.  Personally, I love buffets, too, but my husband wanted a sit-down meal. 

Mrs.JulesH-S

We did assigned plated dinners so yes I know who no showed. 

cvillebetrothed

CaptainSerious:

WFT, cville?  Angry much?  I didn't say what anyone else did or didn't pay.  In fact, the first time I wrote it I think I wrote "I've also been quoted in ranges for buffets before," but when the nest ate my first post, I shortened it.  I'm sure some pay per head and some pay per group; it's just my impression.

I don't know why you took it as an attack.  Personally, I love buffets, too, but my husband wanted a sit-down meal. 

i'm not angry.  i didn't take it as a personal attack either.  i thought your response was kind of funny and dogmatic.

jane6672

A few. I was a mildly annoyed with a family that RSVP'd yes for everyone (so 6 or 7 people) and then didn't show up without any explanation. Hellloooo, I paid for all those dinners.

Pumpkin30

Floyd.B:

I have the list on my refrigerator and I plan to kill them, one by one, starting on my 10th anniversary.

Based on the MM post about wedding gripes, you're in good company or at least, surrounding by a lot of butt hurt people. 

lolagrinnin

I noticed that my 2 cousins and their wives, who didn't rsvp yes or no but my crazy aunt assured me were coming, didn't show. It wasn't a big deal (our wedding was plated AND CHEAP!), but I was glad my father pointed it out since my poor uncle (aunt's ex h) was seated at a table by himself. We shuffled some things and reseated him.

Seven years later, my dad and his sister are still feuding about it, mostly as an excuse for my dad to avoid his crazy sister.

pantsparty

circa1978:

My mother did.

It's been five years and she's still talking about her cousin, whose three daughters RSVP'd for themselves and their husbands and then came alone. (They also "went together" with their parents on a gift of a $25 check.) Didn't bother me, but I think it got to her because having been through weddings themselves, all three of my cousins and their dad knew she would have paid for six, even though only three came. 

I believe youngest cousin's second wedding is this weekend. My mom, who taught me everything I knew about being passive aggressive, is getting her a picture frame from Target.  

Ha! I put together a spreadsheet after the event. My mom was PISSED at what her siblings gave us.

My aunt came with my grandma, my uncle, her 5 kids + a date for her oldest daughter. Her youngest was in the wedding and we bought her dress. She gave us $100 + a jewelry tree + a small album and a crucifix from my grandma. (?????)

This was also the one who was spending all of my sick grandma's money and paying herself $6,000 a month to take care of my grandma.

No one talks to her now, lol. 

KristinKD

I didn't keep track, but I did notice. We assigned tables but not seats.

We had two no-shows (who had RSVPed yes), both H's friends. I think one had called or emailed that day to say he couldn't make it, but the other (who was H's best friend in HS and later had a sort of mental breakdown and was never the same again) just completely flaked. Then he showed up at our house months later with our wedding gift: an acoustic guitar, missing a string, which neither of us know how to play.

I also had a friend who gave me one guy's name to use when addressing her invitation, RSVPed with another guy's name, and then showed up with a third guy completely. That was a awkward.

Liver&Onions

I had 160 people at my wedding and only one no-show the day of. I called him when I got back from my honeymoon to find out why. He was in rehab.

Floyd.B

Pumpkin30:

Floyd.B:

I have the list on my refrigerator and I plan to kill them, one by one, starting on my 10th anniversary.

Based on the MM post about wedding gripes, you're in good company or at least, surrounding by a lot of butt hurt people. 

funny enough - I don't remember (nor do I care) about no shows, but I was quite pissed about the ppl who showed up but didn't RSVP.  We had to set up an entire table to smoosh all those asssholes into one spot.

Floyd.B

JEHC:

We had 5 no shows (or 7, depending on how you look at it).  These weren't people who rsvp'ed "no", they were people who rsvp'ed "yes" and then just didn't show up.

All of them pisssed me off. 

1. my sister's FIL, he decided not to come because he was mad at my sister.  It had nothing to do with me, and I was irritated because he was also supposed to bring my sister's niece and since he didn't come she couldn't either.  So that's 2 empty seats/meals paid for for nothing.

2. my 19 year old (male) cousin.  This one doesn't REALLY bother me, his excuse was that one of his friends who had been serving overseas came home and their crew was getting together to party that night.  I was kind of annoyed until the entire rest of his family told me how they laid into him for ditching, and I figured that that was punishment enough.  Plus, he's a 19 year old dude, sitting through a wedding is probably the last thing on his priority list.

3. friends of H's sent him a text at 11pm the night before our wedding (when I was in super stress mode) and told him that their little girl wasn't feeling well so they wouldn't be coming.  I get that excuse and was fine with it, but then they literally dropped off the face of the planet.  We have never seen or spoken to these two again. 

4. One of my college girlfriends.  This is the only one that truly pisssed me off, and pretty much destroyed our friendship.  We were keeping our wedding small because we were paying for it ourselves, so we didn't invite any of our single friends to bring a date.  (We invited boyfriends and girlfriends, but didn't send out any invites as a plus one).  I had a group of girlfriends from college who were invited, some were married, some had boyfriends, but most were single.  This girl was part of this big group of friends, so it's not like she would have been alone the whole night or anything, and it wouldn't have been weird, but she BEGGED me to let her invite someone.  I explained about the keeping it small thing, told her about all of our mutual friends who would be coming alone, etc, but she kept asking if she could bring someone.  It seemed really important to her, so I finally said that was fine.  But she couldn't tell me WHO she was bringing.  It was supposed to be one of two guys, or another female friend of hers.  We had assigned seating, but three or four days before the wedding she was still undecided about who was coming (?) so she said to just not bother with a seating card for her date, they would just know that they'd be sitting next to her.  Fine. 

The night before the wedding she was texting me about how excited she was to be there, and to see all our friends who would be there (some of whom she hadn't seen since graduation) etc etc.  Then the day of the wedding, she didn't show up.  Obviously, neither did her mystery date.  She didn't text me or anything to let me know that she wouldn't be there, no apology for not coming, nothing.  But a few days later when people started posting pictures on FB, she was commenting on all of them like "Oh, you were so beautiful!"  "What a gorgeous day!" etc.  As if she was there!  What.  The.  Fcvk. 

I was completely irritated that she was so flaky, but what really super pissed me off was that after explaining to her about not inviting plus ones I finally gave in to her, and then NEITHER of them showed up.  *** sakes.

It seems like I'm still irritated by these, and I'm not.  It's funny now, but it was really the only part of my wedding day that bothered me back then.

JEHC

Floyd.B:

JEHC:

 

 

TarzansWife

Yep. I had a destination wedding. Tons of ppl backed out at the last minute. I was really pissed.I invited 65,had 35 RSVP, 17 showed and I had to pay for 35 to eat and drink. Becuase it was so small I remember everyone.

babubhatt

JEHC:

4. One of my college girlfriends.  This is the only one that truly pisssed me off, and pretty much destroyed our friendship.  We were keeping our wedding small because we were paying for it ourselves, so we didn't invite any of our single friends to bring a date.  (We invited boyfriends and girlfriends, but didn't send out any invites as a plus one).  I had a group of girlfriends from college who were invited, some were married, some had boyfriends, but most were single.  This girl was part of this big group of friends, so it's not like she would have been alone the whole night or anything, and it wouldn't have been weird, but she BEGGED me to let her invite someone.  I explained about the keeping it small thing, told her about all of our mutual friends who would be coming alone, etc, but she kept asking if she could bring someone.  It seemed really important to her, so I finally said that was fine.  But she couldn't tell me WHO she was bringing.  It was supposed to be one of two guys, or another female friend of hers.  We had assigned seating, but three or four days before the wedding she was still undecided about who was coming (?) so she said to just not bother with a seating card for her date, they would just know that they'd be sitting next to her.  Fine. 

The night before the wedding she was texting me about how excited she was to be there, and to see all our friends who would be there (some of whom she hadn't seen since graduation) etc etc.  Then the day of the wedding, she didn't show up.  Obviously, neither did her mystery date.  She didn't text me or anything to let me know that she wouldn't be there, no apology for not coming, nothing.  But a few days later when people started posting pictures on FB, she was commenting on all of them like "Oh, you were so beautiful!"  "What a gorgeous day!" etc.  As if she was there!  What.  The.  Fcvk. 

I was completely irritated that she was so flaky, but what really super pissed me off was that after explaining to her about not inviting plus ones I finally gave in to her, and then NEITHER of them showed up.  *** sakes.

ok, but then what happened????  did you ever find out why she didn't show?  did she ever tell you?

WHAT

 

malibu5880

I certainly kept track of the uninvited 10 kids and their kids of my in-laws' friends showed up, ate 10 plates of food we had to pay double the cost for, and displaced 10 of our invited guests, and cost us a fee on top of the food charge for being over the maximum guest limit for the room.

Otherwise, the only person I noticed as a no-show was my aunt. Who I found out got heatstroke cause she was too drunk to wake up before 2 pm. the day of my wedding while camping in a tent on a 100 degree day. Yeeeeeah.

DCAnnie

i only remember one couple that rsvp'd and then didn't come. and only b/c it was one of h's best friends/fraternity brothers and he was hurt by it. they never called him or anything. i don't remember anyone who rsvp'd no. i wanted as few people as possible so i was totally okay w/ anyone who couldn't make it or didn't want to come. 

JEHC

babubhatt:

JEHC:

ok, but then what happened????  did you ever find out why she didn't show?  did she ever tell you?

WHAT

 

 

Nope.  She never explained it.  Just kind of acted like it never happened.

CurlyQ284

I had a buffet and paid per head. I also had to get an extra table to fit the family of five, the couple that sat with them could have fit at another table, extra centerpiece, rent chair covers for the nasty stained hall chairs, tablecloths, silverware, rent ceremony chairs for half-SIL and her no-show ass ::grumble grumble::

Elfinia7

We had several no-shows as well.  A few I found out after the fact had indeed let my husband know (they were his friends) the week of the wedding he just didn't tell me because he knew I'd get mad.

The two I'm most annoyed about are a college friend of mine and my husband's sister.

My college friend RSVP'd yes and then I found out on the day of my wedding from one of my bridesmaids that he was no longer coming.  His parents had offered him sox tickets and he went to the baseball game instead.  He never called me at any point to say he wasn't coming, to apologize etc.  Although, he insisted he got us a gift that he had purchased in Ireland and was being shipped to us.  5 years later I think it's safe to say no gift was every sent.  That friendship ultimately ended as it was just one more example of his extreme selfishness.

My SIL on the other was nothing but trouble and she's the older sibling in my husband's family!  We had a no kids under 13 rule which meant her 4 year old daughter was not invited.  However, my parents paid for a babysitter to watch our neice for the duration of the wedding.  They even set up a pre-visit the evening before during the rehersal so our neice could meet the sitter and get to know her for a couple of hours before the big day.  Niece had a blast with the sitter!  We should have known something was going to happen when SIL left the rehersal dinner with niece in tow 20 minutes into it.

But whatever, it's my IL's money so not my concern.  On the actual wedding day she shows up to the church late so much so we had to start without her and my dad had to take her place and do the first reading.  She shows up with niece in tow as well which was not suppose to happen, niece should have been at my parents house with the sitter.  Anyway, the ceremony ends, we all head outside and next thing I know as we're headed to the reception we find out from the IL's that SIL took niece back to the hotel and was skipping the reception.  My dad had to go back to the house to let the babysitter know and bring her home as well as pay her for her trouble.  SIL is not in a single wedding picture and my husband didn't speak to her for about a year.  She's still never apologized and it's like it never happened.