My 87 year old grandma has dementia.

LeahMelanieNJ

 

Watching someone you love get old and fall apart is so heartbreaking.

ReturnOfKuus

I'm with you on that.  My grandmother does, too, and it was awful visiting her over the weekend.

Karma1969

I'm so sorry.  I dealt with that with my Mom and my Dad has it as well.  He asks me the same 3 questions over and over again.,  It's painful.

annieu613

I'm sorry   It's such a hard thing to go through.

50% of people over the age to 80 have some form of dementia.  It's scary.

poppyseed1017

  I could have posted this same thing just now.  My mom just emailed me to tell me my 93 year old grandma is slipping into dementia.  She is just really confused all the time and it keeps getting worse.  She is 93, but it's still very sad to watch her just not be the grandma I grew up with.

 

((hugs))

LeahMelanieNJ

ReturnOfKuus:

I'm with you on that.  My grandmother does, too, and it was awful visiting her over the weekend.

 

And the worst part is that I am so far away from her. Talking to her on the phone is just terrible because she is so confused. 

annieu613

If there's someone to go with her, encourage taking walks in the morning.  Morning sunlight has been shown to help slow the process.  If not, maybe try light therapy.

Bluesmoothy

My great-grandmother had dementia. It was very sad. At the end she only spoke Slavic and totally lived in the past. She called us all by names of people she knew as a child. It was sad because physically she was in perfect health. She was 93 when she died.

LeahMelanieNJ

poppyseed1017:

  I could have posted this same thing just now.  My mom just emailed me to tell me my 93 year old grandma is slipping into dementia.  She is just really confused all the time and it keeps getting worse.  She is 93, but it's still very sad to watch her just not be the grandma I grew up with.

 

((hugs))

Yup, my mom literally just text me and told me that the doctor said that he is 100% sure she has dimentia.

sweetday

Gretchenindisguise

I've said it before and I'll say it again, dementia is one of the cruelest diseases out there and is incredibly hard on the family.

wanderlust2006

My grandmother had dementia.  It is a terrible thing.  Very sorry Leah.

His#1Girl

**hugs**

My mother has dementia and beginning stages of Alzheimers and it breaks my heart.  Every single visit from/with her ends with me crying my eyes out because it kills me that I'm losing her this way.

 

Muddled

It is so difficult. The moments when my grandmother is clear (was, I should say- they don't really happen any more) were even worse because she knew and she hated it so much.

It's so much work for my parents, too. There is nothing good about it. 

I'm sorry.

 

stpetegirl

Honestly it might not be as bad as it seems. Often seniors don't hear as well over the phone. I've seen that sometimes someone will ask you to repeat yourself once or twice and then just start going along instead of trying to figure out what you are saying. Also, age doesn't always mean dementia, so if she isn't seeing someone on a regular basis this is the type of thing that should be brought to her doctor's attention. Poor hydration, mini-strokes and even UTIs can cause dementia like symptoms in the elderly. 

LeahMelanieNJ

My mom already has so many of her own issues, and she has to care for my grandma too. I wish I didn't love so far away.

Bluesmoothy

WHat's the difference between dementia and Alzheimers? Anyone know?

laptopprancer

Awful stuff.

 

JanieJones

Sorry VV.  (hugs)

 

dementia fuckings sucks.

stpetegirl

Bluesmoothy:

WHat's the difference between dementia and Alzheimers? Anyone know?

 

I believe Alzheimer's is cause by plaque buildup in the brain and dementia can be from other causes. Also- there are meds out there that can treat both. 

Gretchenindisguise

Bluesmoothy:

WHat's the difference between dementia and Alzheimers? Anyone know?

Alzheimers is a type of dementia.  

annieu613

Bluesmoothy:

WHat's the difference between dementia and Alzheimers? Anyone know?

Dementia is a non-specific term covering a variety of symptoms.  Alzheimers is a type of dementia.

ReturnOfKuus

stpetegirl:

Honestly it might not be as bad as it seems. Often seniors don't hear as well over the phone. I've seen that sometimes someone will ask you to repeat yourself once or twice and then just start going along instead of trying to figure out what you are saying. Also, age doesn't always mean dementia, so if she isn't seeing someone on a regular basis this is the type of thing that should be brought to her doctor's attention. Poor hydration, mini-strokes and even UTIs can cause dementia like symptoms in the elderly. 

 

My grandmother's started out as a UTI symptom, but then she just stopped wanting to do anything at all, and with the lack of stimulation, her mind started turning to mush.  It's very frustrating.

antherfosh

My grandfather did. It was really bad toward the end. I would go home and cry because he didnt know who i was. Then he would then go to sleep and wake up and not know me again. 

Hugs to you!  

LeahMelanieNJ

stpetegirl:

Honestly it might not be as bad as it seems. Often seniors don't hear as well over the phone. I've seen that sometimes someone will ask you to repeat yourself once or twice and then just start going along instead of trying to figure out what you are saying. Also, age doesn't always mean dementia, so if she isn't seeing someone on a regular basis this is the type of thing that should be brought to her doctor's attention. Poor hydration, mini-strokes and even UTIs can cause dementia like symptoms in the elderly. 

 

The doctor said it is dementia. SHe has had TIA and mini strokes, which can lead to dementia. her behavior has been odd and she has been craving sweets and having bouts of depression. I should stop talking about it because I am getting all upset at work.

KristinKD

I'm so sorry, Leah.

My grandmother also suffered from dementia. I know how heartbreaking it can be.

c_joy

I'm so sorry. My grandfather suffered from dementia and it was hard to watch as it progressed. If you ever want to talk, let me know.

stpetegirl

A couple things to keep in mind is that this is usually far harder on you then it is for her. She is far less aware of her loss than her family is. Also, loenliness, hopelessness and boredom are the three biggest plagues of aging. Finding way to reach out and address these things can go a long way. Is she in a facility, if so how are they at engaging her? Is she in a community type setting (condos or MHPs)? They often have groups that get toghther, there might be senior centers with activites she could get involved in. 

 

Sorry, you were just lamenting and I am taking this to a whole other level. I just want to be helpful. There are ways to make everyone's lives better regardless of age. 

vallyhoo

I'm sorry VV another commiserater here, my 94 year old grandmother started exhibiting symptoms about 10 years ago. She does crossword puzzles constantly, and they are likely the only thing keeping her alive. I dread the day if we get to the point where she doesn't remember us.

LeahMelanieNJ

stpetegirl:

A couple things to keep in mind is that this is usually far harder on you then it is for her. She is far less aware of her loss than her family is. Also, loenliness, hopelessness and boredom are the three biggest plagues of aging. Finding way to reach out and address these things can go a long way. Is she in a facility, if so how are they at engaging her? Is she in a community type setting (condos or MHPs)? They often have groups that get toghther, there might be senior centers with activites she could get involved in. 

 

Sorry, you were just lamenting and I am taking this to a whole other level. I just want to be helpful. There are ways to make everyone's lives better regardless of age. 

 

She lives in a little golf community for 55+, but she doesn't go very many places anymore. My mom takes care of her. She used to be very active with friends and volunteering and being involved in things. Lately she has no interest in any of it at all. My mom tries to get her out and doing things, but she fights it.

flexiblebride

frkls is right: dementia isn't necessarily awful (though it can be in many ways).  My grandmother had a certain amount of dementia: she'd put her clothes on backwards, would forget words in conversations, etc.  So she lived at an assisted care facility.  But she stayed active, read a lot, developed friendships, etc.  She even knew who I was, but she didn't recognize DH, which is understandable since she'd only met him a couple times.  She was fairly coherent until she died--a couple days shy of her 94th birthday.  She was in really good health.  One day she just stopped eating.  It took her 8 days.