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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: My 87 year old grandma has dementia.
Thanks guys, I love the support I get from here.
I know it may not be that bad. I wish I could be there to see for myself because my mom isn't the best person to get an update from sometimes either. I wish she could go to an assisted living place, but she doesn't want to leave her home. She was always sweet loving person and I feel like my heart is being ripped out slowly as her health declines.
ETA: She does go to a church dinner every wednesday night (she is there right now) with my stepdad, and sees her friends there. I am glad she has some form of socialization
My grandmother (91) has dementia too. It's really rough. It has gotten progressively worse in the last 3.5 years. The only person she really recognizes anymore is my dad (and sometimes my mom). She lives in Georgia in an assisted living facility near my parents so we only see her a few times a year.
It makes me regret not talking to her more when she was more coherent. I feel like I should know more of her stories/life than I do.
I'm so very sorry. Seeing a loved one suffer with this disease is just horrible. My grandmother had it and lived for 10 years with it until it ultimately took her life. The decline for her was slow but once it started, the changes we had to make in her care were astonishing. She would get out of the house and go for walks at 2a.m.. Nothing like having the cops call in the middle of the night because they found your grandma walking the streets and all she could recall was your phone number.
The way I dealt with her decline was to find some way to connect with her without having to necessarily engage her directly. For instance, my mom started a quilting group at her facility since my grandma loved to quilt. I went every Saturday and sat down with her and my mom and learned to sew. The familiar act would get her mind going and she would tell stories and it would seem like old times. We would also do some baking with her in my mom's kitchen and she would love it. Sometimes I would just go be with her and hold her hand and watch tv. She always thought I was a younger version of my mom and would always ask me, where "little tarzan" was. It always broke my heart because she never knew who I was.
Just find a way to connect with her, it will make this time in her life a little more bareable.
My grandmother has it too. Its awful and painful . My brother passed away 2 years ago and she always asks where he is , my mom tells her the truth. Ive just started telling her he is someplace else, i cant bear to see her cry every single time
xoxo
I'm sorry.
Seems that is often the case with many older folks. While it may be hard on the family it is often the hardest on the individuals going through it along with caretakers (which may be a relative).
I was a caretaker for my grandmother and grandfather. In fact my fiance (now hubby) and I were the only ones who stepped up to the plate to care for both of them. Sadly, they both passed away in 2010. My grandmother was the only one who suffered dementia symptoms. It was hard because she was not only my grandmother but she was more or less my mother throughout my life. Watching her slip away was the most unbearable thing in the world.
Enjoy your grandmother and try not to get upset or impatient when she stalls on a topic or loops back around. If anything keep her mind busy and find ways to stimulate her each time you are around her. Write to her, call her just keep her near at heart at all times.
I'm sorry. It's a really awful disease.
My mom is 78 and started exhibiting clear symptoms of dementia last year. She rapidly declined after my dad passed in November. She's also formed a fixation on money -- that she doesn't have any, that she doesn't know where it is, that various people have taken it (they haven't), and that she wants her debit card (even though she can't remember how to use it).
I just talked to her tonight and she asked me if my brother just moved to Washington DC. He's lived there since 1992.
It is so hard for all involved. Just try to be as patient as you can with her. As hard as it is for us to see our loved ones like this, it must be that much more terrifying to realize you don't remember things that you clearly should.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I just lost both my grandparents within 6 weeks of each other this winter, and it was hard watching them get older and need support from so far away too, even with only the initial signs of dementia.
I may turn to some of the many PPs for advice in the future. We are seeing FIL (59!!!) show some signs of early-onset dementia. Some med changes have helped, but eventually it is going to be very hard on DH. He has a degenerative neuro-muscular disease and is on a ton of meds, which commonly leads to EOD in those who live long enough.
I am so sorry to hear that. That has to be really hard to think about going through something liek that again so soon. As you can see, this place is awesome for support when you need it.
Thanks, it is really something odd to see it in our parents' generation since all of my energy (and my mom's( has been directed toward grandparents. I try to catch myself before I make comparisons to my grandparents (with reference to their long term care experience, in home care, etc. and in general how the "system" works.) I try not to to DH or around MIL since it's an entire GENERATION earlier. His mother is in better health than him even...G'maIL, that is.