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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
husband's best friend is living with us.....?!?!
Okay, Ive had mixed feelings about this. My husband and I are renting a home and his best friend is living with us to help us save some money for a down payment on a house.
We all get a long. His BF and I get along really well and I dont foresee any issues but........Im mrs negativity on this one!
I guess my question is this...Is this going to totally drive me insane?
Re: husband's best friend is living with us.....?!?!
Huh? I guess my headache is adding my brain. What was the question?
I would only be ok with a couple of our friends living with us. But I would have to have a foreseeable end for me to be ok. If it was an indefinite or undecided end I would have issues. It also depends on what's going on with ones life. If tring to conceive I think one needs privacy. Just like being newly wed or just having a baby would also be a no go. Those are big changes that two people need to work on together, adjust and bond.
I found roommate contracts work wonderful. It clearly states the rules of the house and what each person is responsible for. It has certainly kept me in check and on top of what I needed to do.
Eta: not adding, it's supposed to be addling. Stupid phone.
You are already living with thise guy and have not said anything that makes him sound annoying, so I not sure where the question is in this. Are you asking if you should kick him out just for fun? Cuz thats kinda low to do to someone who your friends with....
Yes he is not going to do everything the way you would do it, and probably not make as much of an effort as your H might around the house since he isnt your H. But you invited him to be a roommate and now you have to learn to live with a roommate. Unless he is doing something illigal or that makes you uncomfortable (not just midly annoyed) Suck it up since you stated hes already living with you.
My Blog:Through My Eyes
well put. Don't kick someone out because they don't do things they way you like them to be done. Kicking them out for no good reason is a quick way to get on that persons sh*t list and p*ss off your H.
It sounds like you haven't had any issues yet, which is good. Does this have an end-date, or is it for the foreseeable future? That would definitely shape my attitude towards a semi-permanent house guest.
I agree that you shouldn't expect him to put as much effort into household chores as your husband, but as long as he keeps his mess in his room and is tidy in the bathroom and kitchen, you should be ok. Good luck!
My husband and I bought a house last summer (2011) while still engaged. We offered one of his best friends to rent out two rooms from us, and he accepted. Our friend has cheap rent for the amount of privacy he gets-his own private entrance, piece of yard, living area, bedroom, and separate bathroom. (We have an odd house floor plan)
He can be pretty reclusive, so we barely know he lives here. We usually socialize at our neighbors' house in the afternoons and evenings.
We do not have a formal written contract with him. Although, if he were to decide to move out, we would want a notice (Especially if he wanted to continue the friendship. Skipping out on rent wouldn't be appreciated.) We aren't planning on having a child for probably another 3 years. If and/or when we have a child, we may request to have the house to ourselves, if he is still renting at that point.
The only things I have to really stay aware of are having the appropriate curtains in my bedroom, in case he goes in the backyard and staying full dressed around the house.
My H and I have agreed that friends and family are only ever going to stay at our house for 2 weeks or less if they have a need. Right now we're in a 1BR/1BA apt so space is limited but even in a bigger place the rule will still apply.
We like our space and our down time to ourselves. Two years ago we had 6 girls (my friends) staying in our little apt for 4 days for a wedding in town. OMG were we glad to have our space back when they all left!
IF we were to ever change our rule we make a contract about house rules, rent & move out date.
My FI and I used to live with my brother up until two and half weeks ago. It was fairly stressful because my brother is hard-headed, not very respectful and never paid his rent in full or on time. I would have kicked him out, but my mother pressured me to let him stay and would often help pay his rent.
Now, we are thinking of having my FI's best friend move in (who we actually lived with 3 1/2 years ago during college). We are perfectly capable of covering our rent/utilities, but with another roommate, we can save $5,000 a year and that can be applied toward our wedding or a down payment on a home. I have developed a written roommate contract and verbally discussed my expectations about rent, cleanliness, abnormal activity hours (i.e., being loud after midnight) and general housekeeping stuff. Being upfront and honest at the beginning will save you a lot of headache later.
When we get married next August though, our plan is to be living without roommates. If it happens right away, that will be great, but we have been living together for 5 years and dating for 9 years, so the bonding/alone time is not as necessary as it is for some couples.
if our used to living alone it will def drive YOU both crazy.
My brother lived with us after my mum kicked him out, lasted 3 months before we kicked him out.
Was our fault tho really, we didnt set ground rules, nothing major just stuff like if the dish washer is full empty it , dont just put your plate on the counter, and if the trash is full EMPTY it. Please dont make a trash mountai. OH and pay RENT
so thats my advice set some ground rules
This depends on your DH as well as the roommate. Is your DH one to act like he is single? Do you have to eat every meal and share everything with the RM? Do you have adequate privacy? Do you go out or have an evening to yourselves? Is he a manwhore who brings a new woman to your home all the time? Is he a slob? Does he expect you to be his maid? Eat all your food? Does he inject himself in to every conversation?
Why didn't you set up house rules before hand? Maybe you should have a meeting with your DH and set some ground rules. It is not too late and could save a friendship and a marriage.