Trouble in Paradise
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Am I Cheating? I am Devastated......
I would never want anyone to stay in an abusive relationship and I didn't think I was encouraging her to do such.
TTC since September 2012
I'm sorry my post made you mad. I do not find anything wrong with communicating with your child's father. I just don't think it's necessary to discuss each other's relationships and such over FB and if not doing that will make my partner happy, then what's the big deal? Co-parenting can still exist without FB. That is all I was saying.
I have a 19 year old step son and I have experience in dealing with DH's ex and their relationship. If I had a problem with something, I told him and he fixed it. I told him that I didn't like the time of the day that she was calling, (non-emergency calls), and he told her to stop calling so late. I could give example after example, but my point is that DH was more concerned with our relationship and his son, not the relationship with his son's mother. DH and his ex stayed cordial to each other and talked when it was concerning their son, not chatting it up on FB discussing our relationship.
Sorry, but I don't believe that just because you have children with someone, then anything goes. That person you have children with is most likely an ex and sometimes in relationships people may show some jealousy towards an ex. Just because you have children with them doesn't erase the jealousy, you have to just deal with it. I think the person with the child should show some compassion toward their partner if this is the case and something as simple as not communicating via FB is not such a huge request.
TTC since September 2012
I don't get what divorce has to do with anything, but since you brought it up, No divorce is not an option for me. It is against my religious beliefs. If divorce is an option for you, then so be it.
A doormat? DH would laugh at that. I am a submissive wife, but that doesn't equal doormat. If DH asks me to do something, I do it. Why not? He does what I ask of him. I know I married the right man and I trust his judgement.
PS- Again, I don't see how your comment has anything to do with what this thread is about. It seems to me that you are carrying over your non-agreement with me from another thread. I hope I'm wrong. If I disagree with someone, I type it out and move one. I don't hold grudges here or irl.
TTC since September 2012
I don't want to stir the pot or anything but I had an H (now ex) accuse me of cheating and it turned out he was the one cheating the entire time! Maybe your DH is feeling guilty for something that he is doing and taking it out on you.
And to answer your question, no you are not cheating. I know it's hard but please re-evalute your relationship. Good luck.
Round #6- 7.5mg Femara+ .5mg Dex+ 75iu Gonal-F+ hCG trigger+ IUI=BFP!!!
Beta #1(14dpo)- 94 Beta#2(22dpo)- 1,619 Beta#3 (28dpo)- 11,396!!!
Thank you again for all the responses. I can understand both sides of the Facebook issue. I don't care enough about Facebook that it was a big deal to me to deactivate it. And my daughter is 16. She IS old enough to take the lead about talking to her father. There is no question about visitation because we live 2000 miles apart and I wouldn't let her go visit him under any circumstances. He is an on again off again heroin addict and his girlfriend has offered to "smoke my daughter up" if she ever came to see them. My communication with him was more a courtesy on my part to keep him apprised on what was going on with our daughter.
I have been in therapy for four years. My self esteem issues are well talked about and my previous relationships have been talked over and over again.
Jim IS a good guy. He has his own issues, but can any of us on this message board really claim that we do not? Or that our husbands or significant others don't have any issues regarding jealousy or insecurity? Jimmy works hard, in pain from cartilage being worn away in his shoulders from the job he has been doing for 30 years, to pay our rent and utilities. He tells me on a daily basis how beautiful and sexy I am and our sex life gets better and better. He supports my plan of going to school full time in the spring, and therefore HE will be responsible for all the bills. He treats my daughter like she is his own.
I have been reading posts on this whole site for about a year. It seems that the immediate response to any trouble is to leave the guy. Sometimes it is not that simple or black and white. He was totally wrong for his reaction. He was wrong to peek around my personal Facebook messages. He over reacted and I have completely blocked and shut down any further discussions on the matter. And the more I do this, the more he backs down. I have discussed this with my therapist, and Jimmy and I will be going to joint sessions with her before we get married.
Anyway I guess I wanted to say that there is a whole lot more good in our relationship than bad. Jimmy is not abusive in any way. And there is always more to the story than what is written here.