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DH being unsupportive
We have been married for almost 3 years, together for 6. We have two kids, a 2-year-old boy and a 2-month-old girl, both planned pregnancies.
Basically, I'm really unhappy. Probably for a number of reasons, the latest of which is due to childcare issues.
DH works 2nd shift, 2-11pm. I work two days/week, from 11a-8p and 8a-5p. We send our son to day care all day, even though he gets picked up by grandparents at 3:30. DH stays home by himself that whole time. So we are paying for daycare all day when we only need 1.5 hours. He wanted to do the same with our daughter, but kept complaining about how expensive it would be. I finally told him that we should just keep her home and find some one for that hour and a half rather than paying $60 for all day. He suggested that I quit my job instead.
Now he is home with DD two days a week. Mondays for about 4 hours and Thursdays for about 6 hours. During this time, he will call me at least twice to complain about how DD won't sleep (usually during times that are not her normal nap time). I get numerous texts complaining about how she cries when he sets her down. His main complaint is that he no longer has his personal time (which he used to play video games). He whines about it constantly.
He is only watching one of the two kids. I don't trust him to take care of both. Whenever he had DS alone as a baby he would just take him over to his parents house to have his mother watch the baby. I found out last week that he left DD with his dad while he went home to eat lunch (when I called he told me she was napping). He doesn't seem to want to be around our children, often asking me to take them out of the house to run errands while he stays home.
This is only the latest in a series of issues including lying about paying bills (he hid from me that we were over 8 months behind on my student loans, so he has completely ruined my credit history).
I am getting really fed up and I don't know what to do. He refuses to get help for what I'm pretty sure is a pathological lying issue. He lies about stupid things that don't even matter, and big things that really do (like paying the rent). He won't get couples counseling either. I'm fighting my urge to throw around the D word. I don't use it lightly, but things suck and he doesn't seem to want to fix any of them.
Re: DH being unsupportive
So he is a bad father, a liar and totally selfish.
I would get a divorce today. You don't lie about money or paying bills. And if my H ever lied to me about where my child was he would be gone.
Lying about anything is not ok because it just makes you think he is lying about everything.
It sounds like he expects you to be a stay at home mom, while he can just go on living a carefree life. I'd tell him that you're both going to counselin
So, if you end up dying in a car crash, having to leave town to see a dying relative or in the hospital getting your appendix removed, who is going to take care of your kids?
The answer should be "their father".
The fact that he can't/wont
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
**6.30.12** I have found the one whom my soul loves.
I'm sure most will disagree with me, but I don't think that YH not wanting to stay home alone with a 2 month old is such a big deal. What kind of household did YH come from? Did you and YH discuss child care and rearing before kids? I know right now th
TTC since September 2012
How can someone be a parent if they don't spend time with their child? Let alone be a "good parent".
Both parents need to be able to care for a child. Things happen. People get hurt, people die.
I would never marry or stay married to a man
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
The lying part throws a twist into what I was going to say. If he's a liar, he's a liar and that won't be fixed w/o HIM getting help. And how can you trust if he gets it and it works as he's a liar?
Past that, though, I agree- being a
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
TTC since September 2012
TTC since September 2012
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
TTC since September 2012
TTC since September 2012
TTC since September 2012
TTC since September 2012
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
TTC since September 2012
TTC since September 2012
TTC since September 2012
Question: if a married couple has a baby and the wife "just isn't comfortable" being left alone to take care of the kid, does she get a pass on child care, too? Or does she just have to suck it up and learn how to take responsibility for the kid? Becau
I'm more than willing to start validating people's ideas when they start having ideas worth validating