Married Life
lisa2008boo
member
"A women who can kneel before the Lord can stand up to anything"
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Natural Family Planning?
in Married Life
Has anyone here used natural family planning to either have a baby or to not have a baby? Do you have any good websites that have information or charting?
Right now my husband and I are waiting to have a child we can't afford it right now. We have been married 3 years and are 23 years old but financially we aren't there yet since we got married so young. I have done hormonal birth control in the past in the form of the pill but it made me sick, and gave me terrible headaches. I have been off of it since March and do not want to go back on it. Right now we are using condoms but I feel bad for my husband.
I have heard great things about NFP not only from a heath stand point but from a communication in marriage stand point also. But I have also heard it works best for those with regular cycles and being 23 mine changes around a lot. I want to use NFP but I am afraid with just one small error or mistake in tracking, or a small change in my cycle I will end up pregnant. Can a method of NFP be done with an irregular cycle?
Thanks in advance for the advice =]
"A women who can kneel before the Lord can stand up to anything"
Re: Natural Family Planning?
We have been NFP or Fertility Awareness Method to both avoid and achieve pregnancy for about 8 years now.
I started by reading the book Taking charge of your Fertility. I haven't had problems, but my cycles are regular. If I were you I would read the book and look into local resources to see if it is right for you. I think know a local Catholic hospital does teach classes on NFP.
Thanks I will look into that book. I do know my local Catholic hospital has a class. I am not Catholic but I still think it is healthier than hormonal birth control at least for me.
I am crossing my fingers my body will even out and I will have regular cycles. Getting off the pill has helped but now I have to wait for all my hormones to even out.
"A women who can kneel before the Lord can stand up to anything"
That's encouraging I know this method isn't popular and people look down on it. But I am tired of being miserable due to hormonal birth control it just isn't worth it to feel like crap everyday. Thanks for your help. =]
I also heard of something called the Creighton Method it is suppose to help with those who have irregular periods. I think mine might even out once I stabilize from getting all the birth control out of my system. I was on it for 2 years so it might take a while to get my levels and cycles even again.
"A women who can kneel before the Lord can stand up to anything"
IUDs are not all hormone-free. Only the copper one (Paraguard) is. Mirena does use hormones.
OP, have you only tried one brand of pill or multiple different ones? You may be able to find one that works for you. Other non-hormonal options include condoms (obviously), female condoms, a diaphragm, sponge+spermicide, and the aforementioned copper IUD.
If you do go for charting, I understand the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility is required reading, and you will need to abstain or use a barrier method every time you have sex until you know your cycle, at which point you can abstain/barrier only during your fertile days. Even so, if you absolutely cannot afford a baby at this point, I would strongly advise some form of birth control, whether hormonal or barrier.
I don't have any suggestions for NFP, but I do know some friends that do it and I think I remember a few of them mentioning the book that PP suggested.
I too had an issue with hormonal birth control (breast tenderness, headaches, super high blood pressure--think 120/180 ). Anyways, a couple of years ago I tried Paragaurd and I love it so far. It was a pain to get it put in, but aside from that it's been just fine and I feel great. You may want to ask your Gyn if she has any other options that you might want to look into. Whatever you decide, good luck!
I don't feel comfortable using IUD because of the way it works it terminates pregnancy. That goes against my religious and pro-life believes. Any type of birth control I use I have to be thinking about this. I don't want to terminate a pregnancy that I might not know I am carrying.
I am going to look into the book. I also signed up for fertility friend and I will begin charting. I hope that with continuing to have the pill out of my system my cycles and hormones will start to even out again soon. We will use condoms until I get my cycle regular and figured out. =]
"A women who can kneel before the Lord can stand up to anything"
I am currently using FAM to prevent. We are planning to start TTC soon. TCOYF is an excellent book. I have been doing this method for 2 years now and I still reference is. Fertility friend is also really helpful. The most important thing is to be consistent with temping and reading all the signs.
Feel free to PM me with questions.
Up to a year to conceive is completely normal for two healthy people TTC, whether the woman has been on BCP or not. Even if you time everything correctly and hit your fertile window, you only have a 20% chance of getting pregnant each cycle.
My personal experience was that I was on BCP for 10 years and then went off to TTC. It took me exactly a year to conceive. But my cycles were extremely bizarre before BCP (maybe 2-3 periods a year) and never regulated after going off (25-65 day cycles). But I still got pregnant in the normal window of time without any interventions. I've now been off BCP for two months to TTC my second and my cycle was exactly 28 days the first month. I'm now on day 31 of Cycle 2 and am sick all the time so we'll see what happens when I POAS!
OP, I do know many people who have read Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I'm actually reading it now. Of the people I know who used FAM to avoid, all but one had an accidental pregnancy. I have known may people who used it successfully to GET pregnant though.
This is great advice.
Creighton Method is essentially the same without using temperature. I do not understand why you would not use temperature because it's just one more thing that gives you more information about your body's cycle.
You are correct that one small error in tracking could lead to pregnancy. I guess you have some difficult to choices to make. Accept the IUD that might "terminate" a pregnancy, continue on the pill that made you feel ill, continue to use the condoms that make you "feel bad" for your husband, or use NFP and accept the risk of an accidental pregnancy.
TCOYF is a great book. But even TCOYF says use a condom if you aren't totally sure that you charted this cycle right, or if its looking like a weird cycle.
I don't mean to sound snarky, but it's not like there's a magic birth control fairy that will provide a perfect solution here. You seem to have many issues, and at least two of them (the issues with condoms and IUD) are entirely of your own choosing.
So, what is FAM? Thank you, Kimbus, for responding. I have a lot to learn and didn't know a year would be normal for TTC. I bought that book and will read it to learn more!! Definitely at this point I'd personally feel more comfortable starting to learn my body without BCP with all the hormones, etc. Research first, though!!
I already said I will continue to use condoms until I figure out my cycle. It will be better soon once all the BCP is out of my system. The IUD is of my choosing it has to do with a religious and moral conviction there is no might to it that is how the IUD works.
I appreciate your input I already signed up for fertility friend I have been reading some of their tutorials. I am also looking at taking a class on NFP as well as reading the book suggested.
"A women who can kneel before the Lord can stand up to anything"
This is right. Also, when FAM is used correctly, it shouldn't matter if your cycles are regular or not - just whether you can read the signs your body is giving you as to how fertile you are.
I started using FAM to avoid pregnancy in late april (well, I started charting in late April and am using the parts of FAM I'm comfortable with at this point, condoms when I'm not sure), and to me, the most important sentence in TCOYF and all of FAM is: "if you have any doubts, don't take the risk." So, I've read the book like 3 times, re-read it on occasion, and we always use condoms if there's *any* sign that I could be fertile or if I'm not 100% certain.
If you decide to try charting to avoid, definitely read TCOYF thoroughly a few times and continue to use condoms for at least a couple of full cycles before you start relying on the FAM rules.
Good luck!
"You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. SeussExtra lube inside the condom helps, or so DH tells me.
I have no problem with you making choices based on your religious beliefs, but please don't make statements that are patently untrue.
"Copper IUDs primarily work by disrupting sperm mobility and damaging sperm so that they are prevented from joining with an egg. Copper acts as a spermicide within the uterus." You are right that there is no "might" here. Copper IUDs disrupt sperm and prevent fertilization. However, this doesn't seem like the part that you object to.
You said that your problem with IUDs was that they terminate pregnancy. This would fall under the emergency contraception part of the IUD's functionality. However, there are conflicting scientific studies around this. "Some experts in human reproduction believe there is sufficient evidence to suggest that IUDs with copper can disrupt implantation, especially when used for emergency contraception*. Despite this, there has been no definitive evidence that IUD users have higher rates of embryonic loss than women not using contraception**."
That is a definite "might." It's fine if you want to err on the side of caution and avoid copper IUDs in case they do prevent implantation, but don't imply that this is an indisputable fact. It makes you look incredibly close-minded and uninformed.
* ESHRE Capri Workshop Group (2008). "Intrauterine devices and intrauterine systems".
** Ortiz, Mar?a Elena; Croxatto, Horacio B. (June 2007). "Copper-T intrauterine device and levonorgestrel intrauterine system: biological bases of their mechanism of action".
I was under the impression that the pill worked the same way. Its primary function is to prevent ovulation so that fertilization can't occur, but in the event ovulation occurs, the pill also thins the uterine lining so that implantation can't happen.
Is that right? And if so, what's the moral difference between the pill and an IUD?
Um, why?
Book: Taking Charge of Your Fertility
Website: Fertility Friend (good for charting and try the tutorials for info)
Also many of the ladies on the Trying to Get Pregnant board on the Bump have a lot of experience in charting (both in trying to get pregnant and trying to avoid pregnancy).
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"A women who can kneel before the Lord can stand up to anything"
- If he's feeling constricted because he has a wide girth, consider trying Magnums. They're actually larger all around and can be comfortable for a man with a wide penis. You don't have to be King Kong to be more comfortable in a Magnum.