Getting Pregnant
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It's going to be over soon (lr)

6w 1d and my betas are only 791. They were 400 4 days ago. I go in for an u/s on Monday to see what's there, and we'll probably be looking at either a D&C or the shot (metho...?). I was devastated on Tuesday, so now I'm just numb. I wanted this one, so knowing I can get pregnant gives me no consolation.

And now I'm going to be bitter for a half sec.
FUCK fertile bitches who never have to worry about their beta numbers
FUCK fertile bitches who are so fucking happy from the second they pee on a stick. I was happy for .5 seconds and then anxiety set in
FUCK fertile bitches who never have to worry about not seeing a HB because it never crosses their mind that something would be wrong
FUCK fertile bitches who never have to mourn the loss of a baby they very much wanted
FUCK fertile bitches who don't have to spend thousands of dollars to get pregnant and only end up with tears and a uterus that is holding onto their dead baby.
Fuck 'em.
TTC #1 since Feb. '12. dx: "unexplained" IF
After 2 shitty IVF cycles and 1 loss at 6+2 (EDD 11/7/14), DH and I are pursuing DIA.
11/17/2014 - ACTIVE AND WAITING!
image
Pregnancy was never the end goal; being a mom was.
I've been holding out on GP: I got drunk once and started a blog: Here it is (11/7 update)
3T<3

«1

Re: It&#039;s going to be over soon (lr)

  • I am so sorry you're going through this.  Know that you're not alone, we understand, and are here for you.





    dx:  Unexplained IF (mild MFI)

     TTC since May 2011, 1 year trying, and then 3 TI, 2 IUI = BFN

    IVF #1 (May 2013):  Antagonist Protocol: 
    24R, 18M, 15F w/ICSI; 5dt of 2 early blasts, no frosties = BFN
    IVF #2 (August 2013):  Lupron Stop Protocol: 
    28R, 23M, 15F w/ICSI; 5dt of 1 partially hatched blast, 7 frosties = BFP
    EDD 5/23/14, blighted ovum (6w6d), D&C (8w6d)
    FET #1 (April 2014):  transferred 2 5d blasts = BFP

    C.J. born 01/09/15

    imageimage
  • My heart breaks for you poppies. There is nothing I can say to make this better, but I am praying and thinking of you. If I can do anything at all, just say the word. Sending you so much love.
    **Signature Warning**

    Dx PCOS August 2012
    Clomid x4 = BFN
    Femara+Follistim IUIs x 6 = 3 BFN, 2 C/P, 1 early miscarriage
    IVF June 2014- 43 R, 34 M, 24 F, 12 blasts frozen and severe OHSS
    FET September 12, 2014!
    Beta #1 12dp5dt- 724
    Beta #2 14dp5dt- 1631
    Beta #3 20dp5dt- 12,813
    EDD 5/31/15 until OB tells me otherwise. Grow babies grow!

    "I might have to wait. I'll never give up. I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck. 
    Wherever you are, whenever it's right, you'll come out of nowhere and into my life." ~ Michael Buble

    image

  • I am so sorry, Poppies :(
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • I'm so sorry for you pain and your loss.
    Married 2011.
    Baby Boy 2015.
  • I am so sorry you are going through this :-(  It is so unfair and I am sending lots of hugs your way!
    Anniversary 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    ~TTC Buddies with akcrrr and amandaf6383~
    ~Knottie/Nestie Besties with *ecinereb* - Congratulations!~
    TTC since June 2011 dx: PCOS
    Clomid+IUI: Cancelled b/c didn't respond (June 2012)
    Femara+Trigger+IUI #1: BFN :-( (July 2013)
    Natural Cycle (8/7/13)- BFP!  Beta #1 (9/10/13): 509 Progesterone: 18.64  Beta #2 (9/12/13): 1118
    Baby N born 5/9/14
  • Oh Poppies. I'm so sorry.

    imageimageimage
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I'm so sorry poppies. :(( this really is not fair.
  • This fucking sucks. I'm so sorry Poppies, this isn't fair and no one should ever have to go through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.


    Lilypie - (VrMh)
  • I'm so sorry, Poppies :(



    Me: PCOS and Hypothyroidism.
    Currently on Metformin and Synthroid
    BFP: 10.7.14
    EDD: 6.15.15

    image
  • Oh poppies. I'm so sorry. I was so hoping you would get good news. This just sucks.

    ...hello out there!
    imageimage
    dx with anovulatory PCOS 2005
    off bcp 11/11
    a few rounds of clomid and femara... no response.
    injectables/IUI 12/12... BFN
    Feb 13 IVF cycle converted down to IUI due to low follicle response... BFFN
    one last IVF attempt April/May 2013: 19 retrieved. 10 fertilized. 2 transferred in a 3dt. 4 frosties... BFP!!
    EDD: 1/21/14... Induced early at 36+6. Our LO was born 12/30/13
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I am so sorry Poppies. :( My heart breaks for you... xo

       Image and video hosting by TinyPicimageimage

  • I'm so sorry poppies. I'm so so sorry. ((Hugs)) :(:(

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I'm so sorry Poppies... It isn't fair. T&P for you.
    image
    First date July 31, 1999    Married January 28, 2009 
    TTC#1 July 2010 PCOS dx April 2011 
    DS born: February 21, 2012

    TTC#2 June 2013 MMC Sept 2013 (partial molar), CP 02/2014 DS2 born: December 5, 2014
  • I am so sorry. :(

    Married August 2009

    3 years. 5 losses.

    Our rainbow baby boy born 11.16.15

  • BeeLuBeeLu member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    I'm so sorry, Poppies. This sucks.

     ~ S & L 8-25-12  ~
  • Poppies, I cannot tell you how sorry I am.  This just isn't fair.  My heart breaks for you.  We're all here for you!
    image

    TTC since March 2012 w/irregular and anovulatory cycles.  
    Moved to an RE October 2013  HSG- All clear , S/A- Normal , Bloodwork -Normal
    Uterine polyp found-  Hysteroscopy and D&C 12/6/13  DX w/complex endometrial hyperplasia
    Endometrial Biopsy 3/21/14 - Hyperplasia still present  Endometrial Biopsy #2 6/24/14 - All clear!
    IUI #1  w/stims and trigger - Started stims 7/7/14 - IUI 7/24/14 = BFP 8/7/14
    Beta #1 8/8 - 47  Beta#2 -137  Beta#3 - 96 Beta#4 -287 Beta#5 -519 Beta#6 121 = early miscarriage 5w4d
    Nestie Besties with Nfp147 
  • I'm so sorry :(

    Anniversary

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • You've been through enough! I'm so sorry, @poppies717. I wish there were words that could help. ((hugs))
    image
    TTC 24 months, IUI #3 BFP 6/4/14 Beta 6/5 58, 6/9 508, 6/11 1227 TWINS! EDD 2/15/15
    With heavy hearts, we said goodbye to our precious angels on 8/12 at 13 weeks 2 days.
    image
    IVF #1 Lup/Brav/Meno, ER 11/28 10R/10F, ET "Rudolph" 4AA embryo 12/3, 7 frosties.
    BFP! Betas: 12/12 225, 12/15 706, 12/17 1512. EDD 8.21.15
    12/29 hb 120. 1/5 perfect, GRAD DAY! 1/15 perfect at OB. NT 2/6 PERFECT, HB 158!

    Baby Girl born 8.9.15 at 38.2 due to IUGR 4lb7.8oz 17" 
    Our princess is being watched over by her older siblings every day <3
    Anniversary 

  • Oh Poppies.  I'm so sorry you are going through this.  If you need anything, please reach out to any of us.  So many hugs for you and your H right now. 

    TTC since 1/13  DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
    Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
    1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system. 
    Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
    Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340  Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
    Riley Elaine born 2/16/15

    TTC 2.0   6/15 
    Chemical Pregnancy 9/15 
    Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
    BFP 9/16  EDD 6/3/17
    Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
    www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com 
                        Image and video hosting by TinyPic

  • arj14arj14 member
    Sixth Anniversary 250 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    I am so, so sorry poppies.  My heart hurts so much for you right now. :(
    image
    Anniversary
    08/13: Started TTC  - 07/14: PCOS dx
    BFP 09/18/15 - Baby S 05/27/16
  • I'm so sorry, this sucks. If you ever need anything just ask, many of us know the feeling.

    image

    Anniversary

    TTC since March 2011
    DX: MFI
    Taking a break from being poked and prodded
  • Oh my god. I'm so sorry.

    It isn't fair at all. I'm sorry that I have no words of wisdom, but I really feel like there are none.

    You aren't alone. Love to you, poppies. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
    IUI - BFP! Baby boy born still - August 2012
    IVF - BFP - miscarriage June 2013
    FET - BFN
    FET - BFN
    Switched clinics
    IVF with PGD - three embryos created, all healthy - July 2014
    FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
    Baby Boy born July 2015

  • Thanks, everyone. Obviously I have a lot of anger about this. I know I did nothing wrong, but I almost wish I did. I'd have a concrete answer as to why this is happening. DH is heartbroken, too, so we're going to spend some QT together tonight. I don't know where we'll go from here, but we don't need to worry about it yet.
    TTC #1 since Feb. '12. dx: "unexplained" IF
    After 2 shitty IVF cycles and 1 loss at 6+2 (EDD 11/7/14), DH and I are pursuing DIA.
    11/17/2014 - ACTIVE AND WAITING!
    image
    Pregnancy was never the end goal; being a mom was.
    I've been holding out on GP: I got drunk once and started a blog: Here it is (11/7 update)
    3T<3

  • I'm sorry :(

    In Christ alone my hope is found. He is my LIGHT, my STRENGTH, and my SONG!


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic


    T-TTC since Dec 2008. PCOS/nonexistant cycles(anovulation) and endo. HSG in '10 revealed both tubes blocked. Lap surgery in Dec '10 to correct. Failed Clomid/IUI and injectable(Bravelle)/IUI cycles so far.  


    image

  • I'm so so sorry poppies! This breaks my heart...

    imageMags's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
     
    TTC 19 months ~Started RE in March 2014~
    DH was not ready for IUI so we waited
    ~Started acupuncture in  May 2014~

    ~~
    BFP 7/6/14~~~EDD 3/14/15~~It's a girl!!~~
  • I am so sorry, poppies. I hate this so much for you.
    image
    My Chart
    My Goodreads Read Shelf

    * After 22 months and 2 failed IUIs, we finally got our BFP *
    DS delivered naturally at 41w6d on 4/18/14
    * TTC #2  March 2015 *

    image

  • There are no words. I'm sending thoughts your way. I'll be thinking about you tonight.
  • I am so very sorry, Poppies.
  • I'm so sorry poppies. My thoughts are with you and you H.
    Anniversary image

    Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter

    TTC Since January 2011 - We have bad sperm 
    February 2013: IUI #1 = BFN 
    October 2013: We made the decision to stop TTC and live without children.

    Nestie Besties with Xan921 
  • I'm so sorry, Poppies.
    Anniversary
    Married: 10/13/2013
    TTC #1: Mirena removed 5/26/2015; DH - normal SA, me - diagnosed with PCOS 8/4/2016 - on Metformin;
    BFP - 10/29/2016!!!, EDD - 7/8/2017
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