Getting Pregnant
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I'm scared. I'm going for the first time to see a therapist....

I finally decided to go see a therapist.  For me.  My H and I have been having ups and downs for quite some time now.  Totally cannot communicate properly to make our relationship better. I feel as if we/I have these problems that we/I cannot stem away from and it causes us to argue. 


I am like way nervous!!!  I'm like, what if all of this has been MY problem? I don't know, I have always put this off and said I will go.  I have even made appointments yet cancelled them. I don't know exactly what I am afraid of....  But here we go, in just a couple hours... Eeeek

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Re: I'm scared. I'm going for the first time to see a therapist....

  • Good luck! I hope the therapy is easier than you think and helps you to sort through things.
    image
    TTC 24 months, IUI #3 BFP 6/4/14 Beta 6/5 58, 6/9 508, 6/11 1227 TWINS! EDD 2/15/15
    With heavy hearts, we said goodbye to our precious angels on 8/12 at 13 weeks 2 days.
    image
    IVF #1 Lup/Brav/Meno, ER 11/28 10R/10F, ET "Rudolph" 4AA embryo 12/3, 7 frosties.
    BFP! Betas: 12/12 225, 12/15 706, 12/17 1512. EDD 8.21.15
    12/29 hb 120. 1/5 perfect, GRAD DAY! 1/15 perfect at OB. NT 2/6 PERFECT, HB 158!

    Baby Girl born 8.9.15 at 38.2 due to IUGR 4lb7.8oz 17" 
    Our princess is being watched over by her older siblings every day <3
    Anniversary 

  • We just started therapy last month. Best decision ever. It won't be all your fault. You know that.

    image
    Baby Boy born 5.3.15


  • Best of luck to you! I really hope it will help you sort things out, and I'm sure you'll see that any problems are not all your fault. To the contrary, you will hopefully find tools to deal with them and keep them at bay even when they're not your fault!

    image

    "You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. Seuss

    TTC #1 August 2014. BFP 9/26! EDD 6/9/15
    Baby A born 6/17/2015
  • Thanks girls.  I am just going.  I decided that I will go and try to better myself here and maybe after a lil bit he will join me.  I know it is not all my problems.  :)  He needs work, but I want to try to make myself myself again.  I miss me and I miss feeling constant happiness at home.  FX I find something out. 

    I hope I don't start ballin like a baby... Lol, I have become an emotional mess these days...

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  • I am a little curious, what should I expect going in??  Anything?  Does she ask me a bunch of questions, does it start in silence??
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  • cloudymeatballs12 said:I hope I don't start ballin like a baby... Lol, I have become an emotional mess these days... FWIW, I've been to counseling/therapy briefly a couple of times, and I have this problem. I will walk in, we exchange hellos, introductions, whatever, and then "What brings you in today?" followed by me sobbing for like half an hour. They're usually really patient, and I find that for me, talking about something I feel I have under control in my life is a good start to keep myself from crying for the whole hour.

    image

    "You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. Seuss

    TTC #1 August 2014. BFP 9/26! EDD 6/9/15
    Baby A born 6/17/2015
  • Oh yes, crying is totally normal.

    And it is hard to make yourself go to that first appointment, but they are so worth it.  I am proud of you for being resolved to go!

    They will ask what you are there for, and you will tell them and the time will fly by.
                                       image              image
    "I DO NOT love that you think so many things revolve around you.  I know you're bitter.  I get it.  But I'm over your feelings." The best person on the internet ever!
  • The first session will be tough, but it does get better. I used this article to help me prepare/know what to expect. GL.

    http://psychcentral.com/lib/what-to-expect-in-your-first-counseling-session/000116
  • I'm so glad you're going! I hope it's a great experience for you. And don't be embarrassed if you cry (I have ALWAYS cried during therapy appointments... they almost expect it). Don't be afraid to be honest with him/her too. If you hold back, they can't help as well! I really hope it goes well! <3

    In Christ alone my hope is found. He is my LIGHT, my STRENGTH, and my SONG!


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    T-TTC since Dec 2008. PCOS/nonexistant cycles(anovulation) and endo. HSG in '10 revealed both tubes blocked. Lap surgery in Dec '10 to correct. Failed Clomid/IUI and injectable(Bravelle)/IUI cycles so far.  


    image

  • I think it's awesome that you're going. I think it's good to go occasionally, even if just for a check in.
    IUI - BFP! Baby boy born still - August 2012
    IVF - BFP - miscarriage June 2013
    FET - BFN
    FET - BFN
    Switched clinics
    IVF with PGD - three embryos created, all healthy - July 2014
    FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
    Baby Boy born July 2015

  • I've cried at every session. Totz normal.

    image
    Baby Boy born 5.3.15


  • I hope the session is helpful. Crying is completely okay and healthy.

    imageMags's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
     
    TTC 19 months ~Started RE in March 2014~
    DH was not ready for IUI so we waited
    ~Started acupuncture in  May 2014~

    ~~
    BFP 7/6/14~~~EDD 3/14/15~~It's a girl!!~~
  • Good for you for doing what you need to feel better and get healthy! The other ladies have it covered but wanted to say that I wish you well and your sessions help you to get things sorted and provide you with the tools you're looking for.
    image

    my read shelf:
    Sarah (mrs.vedo)'s book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf) 


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  • GL, and don't be afraid or ashamed to cry. 

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  • Good luck! Crying is common but often therapeutic in itself. Be proud for doing what you need to do to better yourself.
  • Good luck! I hope it goes well for you!



    Me: PCOS and Hypothyroidism.
    Currently on Metformin and Synthroid
    BFP: 10.7.14
    EDD: 6.15.15

    image
  • Xan921Xan921 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I think you're making a great decision by going.  Working on yourself is never a bad idea and hopefully your Dh will see you trying to improve things from your end and he'll want to join eventually. Good luck!  
    image

    TTC since March 2012 w/irregular and anovulatory cycles.  
    Moved to an RE October 2013  HSG- All clear , S/A- Normal , Bloodwork -Normal
    Uterine polyp found-  Hysteroscopy and D&C 12/6/13  DX w/complex endometrial hyperplasia
    Endometrial Biopsy 3/21/14 - Hyperplasia still present  Endometrial Biopsy #2 6/24/14 - All clear!
    IUI #1  w/stims and trigger - Started stims 7/7/14 - IUI 7/24/14 = BFP 8/7/14
    Beta #1 8/8 - 47  Beta#2 -137  Beta#3 - 96 Beta#4 -287 Beta#5 -519 Beta#6 121 = early miscarriage 5w4d
    Nestie Besties with Nfp147 
  • I am glad it went well for you!
    Anniversary 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    ~TTC Buddies with akcrrr and amandaf6383~
    ~Knottie/Nestie Besties with *ecinereb* - Congratulations!~
    TTC since June 2011 dx: PCOS
    Clomid+IUI: Cancelled b/c didn't respond (June 2012)
    Femara+Trigger+IUI #1: BFN :-( (July 2013)
    Natural Cycle (8/7/13)- BFP!  Beta #1 (9/10/13): 509 Progesterone: 18.64  Beta #2 (9/12/13): 1118
    Baby N born 5/9/14
  • Thank you ^^^  I am too. 
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  • Very happy it went well. I hope Monday is even more helpful!
    image
    TTC 24 months, IUI #3 BFP 6/4/14 Beta 6/5 58, 6/9 508, 6/11 1227 TWINS! EDD 2/15/15
    With heavy hearts, we said goodbye to our precious angels on 8/12 at 13 weeks 2 days.
    image
    IVF #1 Lup/Brav/Meno, ER 11/28 10R/10F, ET "Rudolph" 4AA embryo 12/3, 7 frosties.
    BFP! Betas: 12/12 225, 12/15 706, 12/17 1512. EDD 8.21.15
    12/29 hb 120. 1/5 perfect, GRAD DAY! 1/15 perfect at OB. NT 2/6 PERFECT, HB 158!

    Baby Girl born 8.9.15 at 38.2 due to IUGR 4lb7.8oz 17" 
    Our princess is being watched over by her older siblings every day <3
    Anniversary 

  • OMG I am really annoyed now.  I mentioned to my H that she suggested marital counseling and he right away asks, "well, what did she say about you?"  Like he was hoping she would say I am crazy or something.  I told him that was what she suggested and he seems to be mad about this.  WTF am I missing here?  I went wanting to better myself FOR us and now he is upset that many of my problems stem from our marriage and our communication problems. I am just so hurt with him these days. 

    Always to point the fingers at me and my wrong doing.  I just want us to be happy with each other again and actual friends.  What the harm in that? :(

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  • I'm sorry things didn't go well with your husband cloudy. I hope he goes with you Monday so he can hear for himself the things you guys need to work through. ((Hugs))
    image
    TTC 24 months, IUI #3 BFP 6/4/14 Beta 6/5 58, 6/9 508, 6/11 1227 TWINS! EDD 2/15/15
    With heavy hearts, we said goodbye to our precious angels on 8/12 at 13 weeks 2 days.
    image
    IVF #1 Lup/Brav/Meno, ER 11/28 10R/10F, ET "Rudolph" 4AA embryo 12/3, 7 frosties.
    BFP! Betas: 12/12 225, 12/15 706, 12/17 1512. EDD 8.21.15
    12/29 hb 120. 1/5 perfect, GRAD DAY! 1/15 perfect at OB. NT 2/6 PERFECT, HB 158!

    Baby Girl born 8.9.15 at 38.2 due to IUGR 4lb7.8oz 17" 
    Our princess is being watched over by her older siblings every day <3
    Anniversary 

  • I'm sorry things didn't go well with your husband cloudy. I hope he goes with you Monday so he can hear for himself the things you guys need to work through. ((Hugs))
    We will see.  He seems to just want to blame me.  He sucks right now.  It sucks feeling shitty in such a short marriage. I hate saying this, but I am thankful that we are not pregnant right now. 
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  • Xan921Xan921 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Do you think your husband wants to try to work things out?  Or do you think he's already checked out?  I know it's hard for people, especially men, to admit there are issues and then to reach out for help for them is even harder, but he has to be at least willing to meet you close to the middle.  If he isn't willing to work on himself, then there is nothing that you can do except for better yourself and hope that he eventually comes to the realization that he needs to work on himself as well.

    I'm so sorry that you're going through this. *Hugs*
    image

    TTC since March 2012 w/irregular and anovulatory cycles.  
    Moved to an RE October 2013  HSG- All clear , S/A- Normal , Bloodwork -Normal
    Uterine polyp found-  Hysteroscopy and D&C 12/6/13  DX w/complex endometrial hyperplasia
    Endometrial Biopsy 3/21/14 - Hyperplasia still present  Endometrial Biopsy #2 6/24/14 - All clear!
    IUI #1  w/stims and trigger - Started stims 7/7/14 - IUI 7/24/14 = BFP 8/7/14
    Beta #1 8/8 - 47  Beta#2 -137  Beta#3 - 96 Beta#4 -287 Beta#5 -519 Beta#6 121 = early miscarriage 5w4d
    Nestie Besties with Nfp147 
  • Have you told him what you just posted here? That may be a start. It's hard to work in communication when he is unwilling to even try to work on his end.
  • I am starting to wonder if he is checked out.  He loves me when I don't speak my mind it seems. I have told him how I feel on numerous occasions.  This is what the therapist even said.  Then that is when she said we both need to go in together. 

    I am at the point, to where I just want to do what I can for myself.  I am sick of feeling insecure in our marriage.  It makes me feel this way in other parts of my life, and I don't even know why sometimes.  I am usually a very strong person who was always happy and I used to always find the best in things and people.  I somehow have become so pessimistic it is sad and it truly bothers me.  What sucks more, I feel that this is all steming from our marriage problems. 
    If he doesn't want to try and get help then that is that.  I will not make him do anything.  He can make his own choices.  I need to be more selfish.  He can call me that all he wants, but I know, when it comes to him and I, I am far far from selfish.  I need to worry and take care of myself first.  This is what I decided today.

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  • MRadsMRads member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Oh honey. I would definitely suggest therapy for yourself if your H won't go. Huge hugs. That is a lot to deal with.
    image
    B Born 6.27.13
  • diitto all of the girls above....I'm so glad that the session went well and she seems to be a good fit....

    your DH....I'm so sorry that was his reaction :( he may be beginning to check out which is so heartbreaking and sad. I feel as though some men dont have the ability to own their pieces of what is wrong in these situations :( I'm sorry Cloudy :(
    Ashley & Jeremy 10/10/10

    Getting fit for IVF! :) (add another 20lbs and you have my total weight lost! :) )

    11440622
  • I'm really glad you went in and your session went well. I'm sorry your H didn't react the way you hoped, I hope he comes around and goes to the session with you on Monday, and I hope it helps you both get on the same page.

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