Setting up a will

Xstatic3333 · July 2015

Related question-does anyone here with no kids yet have wills? We were planning to delay until I'm PG but reading this thread is sending me on a worry spiral. We have term life, both onlies, all of our parents are relatively sane, and we know each others' end of life care wishes. We also have a negative net worth

but beneficiaries properly set up for all accounts.

AprilZ81 · July 2015

Xstatic3333 said:

Related question-does anyone here with no kids yet have wills? We were planning to delay until I'm PG but reading this thread is sending me on a worry spiral. We have term life, both onlies, all of our parents are relatively sane, and we know each others' end of life care wishes. We also have a negative net worth but beneficiaries properly set up for all accounts.

It has been on our list for awhile but we've not gotten around to it.

als1982 · July 2015

@Xstatic3333 We don't either, although we have each other as POD or beneficiaries on all accounts. Once we have kids we will definitely seek the help of a knowledgeable professional to create a Trust. There is no way I would use a fill-in-the-blank form found online. I'm thrifty to a fault, but this is not an area to skimp on.

Xstatic3333 · July 2015

als1982 said:
@Xstatic3333 We don't either, although we have each other as POD or beneficiaries on all accounts. Once we have kids we will definitely seek the help of a knowledgeable professional to create a Trust. There is no way I would use a fill-in-the-blank form found online. I'm thrifty to a fault, but this is not an area to skimp on.

Agreed-when we do it we'll use a lawyer, though I tend to think a notarized form is probably better than nothing. It was helpful to hear what others have paid so we'll know about what to budget.

hoffse · July 2015

Xstatic3333 said:

Related question-does anyone here with no kids yet have wills? We were planning to delay until I'm PG but reading this thread is sending me on a worry spiral. We have term life, both onlies, all of our parents are relatively sane, and we know each others' end of life care wishes. We also have a negative net worth but beneficiaries properly set up for all accounts.

We have very basic wills, mostly to cover a simultaneous death situation. We have a negative net worth, but we have enough life insurance to cover our debts and there would be significant assets left over once the debts of the estate were fulfilled. That said, our wills are no-frills. We don't have any trusts or anything set up because we don't need them yet.

Once kids come into the picture, then yes we will set up an actual estate plan, mostly to provide for their care in the event of simultaneous death.

In some respects the estates that need to be really thought through are those with lots of assets and those involving young kids. Once kids are old enough to take care of themselves, estates don't necessarily need to be that complex if there aren't the assets to support it. At a certain point your kids don't need a custodian anymore.

I also think parents of young should consider trusts that pay out over time so that their kids can't get the money and burn it before they are ready. That's just me though. Plenty of parents are willing for their teenagers to have control over tens of thousands of dollars in the event they pass. I just personally don't think an 18 or 19 year old is necessarily ready, and trusts can limit their access to the principal.

I'm not trying to be alarmist, I just hate to see kids get caught in the middle of a shoddy estate plan because the parents either cheaped out or buried their head in the sand about it. The situation is bad enough without a custody battle on top of it.

brij2006 · July 2015

Xstatic3333 said:

Related question-does anyone here with no kids yet have wills? We were planning to delay until I'm PG but reading this thread is sending me on a worry spiral. We have term life, both onlies, all of our parents are relatively sane, and we know each others' end of life care wishes. We also have a negative net worth but beneficiaries properly set up for all accounts.

*Stuck***

As someone who is going through handling the estate of someone passing away who did not have a will, please do one. My brother was single, had a positive net worth, and no dependents. He did not have anything set up, and now here we are with no clue as to how he wanted things done. We're just flying by the seat of our pants trying to figure things out. It's hard, and very emotional. We're fortunate that all of us involved get along, but the death of a loved one can truly bring out the ugly in people. The last thing you want is for each of your parents to be fighting over that picture hanging up in your house or your jewelry.

als1982 · July 2015

brij2006 said:

Xstatic3333 said:

Related question-does anyone here with no kids yet have wills? We were planning to delay until I'm PG but reading this thread is sending me on a worry spiral. We have term life, both onlies, all of our parents are relatively sane, and we know each others' end of life care wishes. We also have a negative net worth but beneficiaries properly set up for all accounts.

*Stuck***

As someone who is going through handling the estate of someone passing away who did not have a will, please do one. My brother was single, had a positive net worth, and no dependents. He did not have anything set up, and now here we are with no clue as to how he wanted things done. We're just flying by the seat of our pants trying to figure things out. It's hard, and very emotional. We're fortunate that all of us involved get along, but the death of a loved one can truly bring out the ugly in people. The last thing you want is for each of your parents to be fighting over that picture hanging up in your house or your jewelry.

This. Also, it's good to know how assets in your estate will be divided should you not have a will and your estate is forced through probate. I live in Kansas where 1/2 of the deceased persons assets would go to the spouse and the other half is divided equally between any children. But not five miles away, in Missouri it's totally different.

brij2006 · July 2015

hoffse said:

Xstatic3333 said:

Related question-does anyone here with no kids yet have wills? We were planning to delay until I'm PG but reading this thread is sending me on a worry spiral. We have term life, both onlies, all of our parents are relatively sane, and we know each others' end of life care wishes. We also have a negative net worth but beneficiaries properly set up for all accounts.

We have very basic wills, mostly to cover a simultaneous death situation. We have a negative net worth, but we have enough life insurance to cover our debts and there would be significant assets left over once the debts of the estate were fulfilled. That said, our wills are no-frills. We don't have any trusts or anything set up because we don't need them yet.

Once kids come into the picture, then yes we will set up an actual estate plan, mostly to provide for their care in the event of simultaneous death.

In some respects the estates that need to be really thought through are those with lots of assets and those involving young kids. Once kids are old enough to take care of themselves, estates don't necessarily need to be that complex if there aren't the assets to support it. At a certain point your kids don't need a custodian anymore.

I also think parents of young should consider trusts that pay out over time so that their kids can't get the money and burn it before they are ready. That's just me though. Plenty of parents are willing for their teenagers to have control over tens of thousands of dollars in the event they pass. I just personally don't think an 18 or 19 year old is necessarily ready, and trusts can limit their access to the principal.

I'm not trying to be alarmist, I just hate to see kids get caught in the middle of a shoddy estate plan because the parents either cheaped out or buried their head in the sand about it. The situation is bad enough without a custody battle on top of it.

So very very true. And honestly, at that age there are many people around to give them different influences. All it takes is 1 bad boyfriend, and the money is spent frivolously and gone. Or people treating that child differently because they're a "trust fund baby."

Living in a farm community where some parents have passed and left their children with millions that they receive at 18 or 21, it's hard to see how people treat them differently.

At least by the age of 30, they have had to make a life of their own for 12 years and hopefully have career choices made by then. That may seem like a very long time to wait, but we personally would rather know that our daughter received the money when she was more than ready for it.

brij2006 · July 2015

als1982 said:

Xstatic3333 said:

Related question-does anyone here with no kids yet have wills? We were planning to delay until I'm PG but reading this thread is sending me on a worry spiral. We have term life, both onlies, all of our parents are relatively sane, and we know each others' end of life care wishes. We also have a negative net worth but beneficiaries properly set up for all accounts.

*Stuck***

As someone who is going through handling the estate of someone passing away who did not have a will, please do one. My brother was single, had a positive net worth, and no dependents. He did not have anything set up, and now here we are with no clue as to how he wanted things done. We're just flying by the seat of our pants trying to figure things out. It's hard, and very emotional. We're fortunate that all of us involved get along, but the death of a loved one can truly bring out the ugly in people. The last thing you want is for each of your parents to be fighting over that picture hanging up in your house or your jewelry.

This. Also, it's good to know how assets in your estate will be divided should you not have a will and your estate is forced through probate. I live in Kansas where 1/2 of the deceased persons assets would go to the spouse and the other half is divided equally between any children. But not five miles away, in Missouri it's totally different.

*Stuck again**

We're in Illinois, and it is split between parents and siblings. I personally did not know this, and was confused when my parents wanted my name involved in the estate. I personally feel like I have no business taking 1/3rd of my brothers' assets, but that's the way the IL law is. So I have to be involved unless I withdraw from the estate.

hoffse · July 2015

Fun fact: the only state where you can disinherit your spouse (fully) is Georgia.

Or at least, that was the rule 4 years ago when I was in law school.

**Ahem - not suggesting anybody do this, by the way!

But yeah, the rules are so screwy from state to state. It would really be best if things were standardized.

Erikan73 · July 2015

Xstatic3333 said:

Related question-does anyone here with no kids yet have wills? We were planning to delay until I'm PG but reading this thread is sending me on a worry spiral. We have term life, both onlies, all of our parents are relatively sane, and we know each others' end of life care wishes. We also have a negative net worth but beneficiaries properly set up for all accounts.

We do, for the sole purpose of things not being tied up in probate court. I've witnessed it first hand with a friend who passed that was single, no kids & no will. His estate was tied up in probate court for 2 years. So they had to go through the offical process to determine who was the next of kin and how everything was going to be divided up. They had to publish notices in the paper for next of kin notices so on and so forth. It was a good thing that he didn't own any property because if his family tried to sell it, the money would have gone and sat in the estate account until his case was settled, which means depending on how fast it would sell, they wouldn't be able to touch any of the money to pay for funeral expenses, etc until everything was settled. My friend who's father passed away and had a will, his estate was settled in about 2-3 months.

vlagrl29 · July 2015

Xstatic3333 said:

Related question-does anyone here with no kids yet have wills? We were planning to delay until I'm PG but reading this thread is sending me on a worry spiral. We have term life, both onlies, all of our parents are relatively sane, and we know each others' end of life care wishes. We also have a negative net worth but beneficiaries properly set up for all accounts.

I had a will when I was single and 27 because my first H passed and I was left with a decent amount of assets so I really needed on if something happened to me. Then when DD was born at around 14 months old we got a combined will. Eventually I want a living will on us. Its most important to make sure you have all your primary and secondary beneficiaries set up on all your accounts - life ins, house, cars, etc. A will for us is mainly for DD, our attorney said that all the $$ assets like life insurance need to be handled by putting beneficiaries on them.

Side note - I would not pay for a doula on a registry. I think they are very reasonably priced. Not sure if I"m going to hire one yet or not because DH was fabulous with DD's delivery. BUT I will be going for a VBAC next time so I may end up hiring one.

vlagrl29 · July 2015

Interesting about the Kansas thing. So glad I live in Missouri because the spouse trumps everyone else. I inherited everything from my former spouse. I also had to close his estate and his mothers estate. She passed away a year before he did. She had a will that wasn't thru an attorney so it was null and void and he never got around to closing her estate so I had to get hers done in order to get his done. PLEASE - anyone thinking of getting a will just do it the legal way. It saves your family lots of headaches.

Xstatic3333 · July 2015

Thanks for the feedback everyone! I will add this to our to-do list!

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