What is your personal philosophy on charitable giving?

bmo88 · October 2015

After my other post and a conversation with a friend, I am genuinely curious what others think.

My DH and I have always given. We don't really have a set amount or percentage, but we have always given to our alma maters (my high school, his colleges and my college), to a local animal shelter we rescued our dogs from and the nonprofit we work for. We have been helped greatly over the course of our lives in many ways, and wish to pay it forward. We still have debt from student loans, a car and a home, but that has never stopped us from giving something. Even when we made 1/3 of what we are making now, we still gave. We truly believe anyone can be a philanthropist on some level and be generous.

In contrast, I have a friend who thinks that they cannot afford to give. Now, they have a home (which they put 20% down), but they make $100,000+ a year, have no debts, no children and have about $40,000 in savings. We live in a very affordable area (average family of 4 income is $50,000). We have discussed giving a few times before and she doesn't even believe they can afford to give to charities. I did push her a bit and said, "even the smallest amount can make a difference." But she doesn't think it's feasible. She even said they are thankful her husband got a full ride scholarship for college, but doesn't feel they can afford to give the college any money. I find it a really interesting perspective. She is very frugal. They don't eat out, they don't go on vacations (her husband wants to, but she doesn't want to spend the money) and she is very focused on saving for retirement. It's fine to have your financial priorities and if you don't want to give you don't have to, but I find it interesting she phrases it as not being able to afford it. But it's her decision.

Anyway, what are your personal philosophies on giving?

Xstatic3333 · October 2015

bmo88 said:
After my other post and a conversation with a friend, I am genuinely curious what others think.

My DH and I have always given. We don't really have a set amount or percentage, but we have always given to our alma maters (my high school, his colleges and my college), to a local animal shelter we rescued our dogs from and the nonprofit we work for. We have been helped greatly over the course of our lives in many ways, and wish to pay it forward. We still have debt from student loans, a car and a home, but that has never stopped us from giving something. Even when we made 1/3 of what we are making now, we still gave. We truly believe anyone can be a philanthropist on some level and be generous.

In contrast, I have a friend who thinks that they cannot afford to give. Now, they have a home (which they put 20% down), but they make $100,000+ a year, have no debts, no children and have about $40,000 in savings. We live in a very affordable area (average family of 4 income is $50,000). We have discussed giving a few times before and she doesn't even believe they can afford to give to charities. I did push her a bit and said, "even the smallest amount can make a difference." But she doesn't think it's feasible. She even said they are thankful her husband got a full ride scholarship for college, but doesn't feel they can afford to give the college any money. I find it a really interesting perspective. She is very frugal. They don't eat out, they don't go on vacations (her husband wants to, but she doesn't want to spend the money) and she is very focused on saving for retirement. It's fine to have your financial priorities and if you don't want to give you don't have to, but I find it interesting she phrases it as not being able to afford it. But it's her decision.

Anyway, what are your personal philosophies on giving?

My attitude is closer to yours. Though we're behind in our finances, I have a very small auto draft set up to our favorite charity, we try to maintain membership in the Appalachian Mountain Club, give to church collection (not a tithe-our church doesn't really ask for one), and H gives to his alma mater. We'll do $20 one off contributions to friends' charity races, political campaigns, and one-time fund drives a few times a year. I also make small contributions to the professional org I serve on the board of. I don't give to my alma mater because I do not agree with their current financial priorities of building crazy dorms while hiking tuition. All numbers are small for us right now, but I want to build the habit before life gets even more complicated.

That said, this stuff is pretty personal. Any chance your friend does give, but doesn't like to talk about it?

bmo88 · October 2015

Xstatic3333:

I agree that giving and finances are very personal. But since we have been close friends for over 8 years, we have are pretty open and honest with each other (hence why I know her other income details). I honestly don't think she gives because she says she doesn't. Like I said before, it is entirely her decision, I just find it an interesting perspective.

vlagrl29 · October 2015

We aren't in a financial position yet to make it a regular thing, but we do small donations throughout the year.

AprilZ81 · October 2015

We give to our church monthly (not a full tithe, but we give) and periodically give to the Red Cross, food banks or other charities. We do fairly regular donations to Goodwill and the Habitat for Humanity Re-Store as we remodel and declutter.

It does seem strange that your friend "can't afford" to donate with what you have shared, but there could be something that you don't know about.

simplyelise · October 2015

We tithe to our church 10% of after-tax income. We're both on the stewardship team and our church was a plant that only started 4 years ago. I've gone their for over 3 years and seen it grow about 5 times over and seeing the backside of the finances, I am 100% on board with how the church spends its money. We actually tithe on church revenues to support other church plants in our state and internationally. And we are generous in the community. And after doing pre-marital counseling with our pastor and working closely with him on searching for a new rental location that fits our growing church, I'm very glad that we as a congregation of about 80 are able to support his full-time employment and health care coverage. It's a modest salary for the amount of work and time he puts in. Interesting fact I've learned from the stewardship work, only 3% of evangelical Christian tithe 10%.

I have a few revolving loans on Kiva.org that I keep reinvesting. I'll add about $10 a year to the original amount I loaned out several years ago so that I can do a couple loans a year and cover the new fees.

We give $50 every Christmas in DH's dad's name for christmas. Last year we did a local substance abuse program for teens.

We both participate in food drives at work during the holidays, join in with a couple 5Ks for good causes, and usually join with some of our church small group to adopt a family for thanksgiving or Christmas.

We make 77k gross, no kids, 23,900 left in student loan debt, and only about $3600 in retirement. But I think you can always make room for a little charitable giving if it is a priority to you. We are really looking forward to being able to be more generous when we are debt-free. I'd like to support our local NPR station and maybe sponsor some summer camp tuitions for local kiddos in need.

Mustard76 · October 2015

I renew my annual give to the United Way through payroll deduction. We also give at several fundraising events every year. We're not church people, so we don't give anything that way. We also regularly donate to Goodwill. We generally see little to no tax benefit because our taxes are rather complicated. That doesn't factor into our decision to give, though. As far as my philosophy behind it, my thinking is those who can, should. So we do.

als1982 · October 2015

I'm a philanthropic fundraiser, so I'm pretty passionate about charitable giving. My career started with United Way, and payroll deduction is such an easy way to give, so most of our giving is done in this way. Half of this monthly amount goes to the United Way's general fund and the other portion is donor designated to support a local food bank, adult homeless shelter and a children's shelter. I also have a pledge to the organization where I work. We have a recurring monthly transfer to support our church's back snack program and a small monthly tithe. And H has an "adopted" child through Children's International. Plus, all the random one off fundraisers that put up throughout the year. Lastly, we have all of our accounts POD to various charitable organizations - I'm a huge proponent of planned giving and leaving a legacy in the lives of others.

PurpleBookmark · October 2015

We give to our church, the local homeless shelter, and my friend's foundation which helps with end of life expenses for people that lose a baby. We give money to these three causes as well as volunteer at church, bring in food for the local food pantry, "adopt" a child from a charity that helps refugees in our area to buy them Christmas presents as well as coats and boots and fundraise for our friend's foundation.

We wish we could do more, specifically we would love to tithe, but we are a family of 5 on $46k and frankly don't have a lot of extra money. We're not sure if we'll be able to do the Christmas presents for charity this year, but then I think of how my kids are all in warm coats and boots and I know that the children on the charity's list have so much less than we do. I feel like we don't give a lot of money but I hope by volunteering we're still helping while we're living in a season of life that is a little tight financially. We're so blessed to have what we do, we want to do as much as we can.

simplyelise · October 2015

PurpleBookmark said:

We give to our church, the local homeless shelter, and my friend's foundation which helps with end of life expenses for people that lose a baby. We give money to these three causes as well as volunteer at church, bring in food for the local food pantry, "adopt" a child from a charity that helps refugees in our area to buy them Christmas presents as well as coats and boots and fundraise for our friend's foundation. We wish we could do more, specifically we would love to tithe, but we are a family of 5 on $46k and frankly don't have a lot of extra money. We're not sure if we'll be able to do the Christmas presents for charity this year, but then I think of how my kids are all in warm coats and boots and I know that the children on the charity's list have so much less than we do. I feel like we don't give a lot of money but I hope by volunteering we're still helping while we're living in a season of life that is a little tight financially. We're so blessed to have what we do, we want to do as much as we can.

Such a great point about volunteering in lieu of monetary gifts. I think for busy families on average incomes or single income families, this is an amazing way to give back while teaching kids a great lesson about being thankful for their lives and having empathy for others. We probably have a different philosophy as DINKS than we will with kids and hopefully with me working part time then.

dragonstarjk · October 2015

We don't have set donations, but we give pretty regularly throughout the year to fundraisers/charity events, especially for some of our favorites such as the local animal shelter, the local community theater, the women's advocacy center, and the Salvation Army, to name a few.

Mustard76 said:

I renew my annual give to the United Way through payroll deduction. We also give at several fundraising events every year. We're not church people, so we don't give anything that way. We also regularly donate to Goodwill. We generally see little to no tax benefit because our taxes are rather complicated. That doesn't factor into our decision to give, though. As far as my philosophy behind it, my thinking is those who can, should. So we do.

*SITB* Totally agree with all of the above.
Also, it is a huge pet peeve of mine when people don't do something because they 'can't afford it'. Especially when they are clearly spending money on other things. I don't judge people for their priorities. We are all allowed to decide where to spend our money and where we prefer not to. Just don't use the 'we can't afford it' excuse if it's not the real excuse. I grew up in poverty; most of my immediate family still lives in poverty. There are very real people who truly 'can't afford' things. I have a coworker who always complains about fundraisers and that she can't afford it, who gets a new car every few years, has a great retirement fund, owns a killer house, and has little to no debt. I'm not upset with her for not contributing; again, that's her decision. But please don't tell me you know what it feels like to not be able to afford something when I grew up not knowing if we were going to get to eat dinner every night.

simplyelise · October 2015

dragonstarjk
I agree completely with your points. But I just wanted to add that sometimes people might use the "I can't afford it" line at work because they don't know how to get out of a fundraiser for a cause that is not a priority for them. I can feel pretty cornered at work over school fundraisers for my co-workers' children's activities (scouts or just general preschool activities?) and right now I get to use the line of "oh sorry, we're doing the Dave Ramsey Plan" as my catchall to get out of the awkward requests. I do the same for co-workers who sell various network marketing goods too. It might not be the same setup in your scenario above, but I can totally see the frustration of being asked for donations to fundraisers at work when you just want to make those decisions at home with your family.

dragonstarjk · October 2015

simplyelise said:

dragonstarjk
I agree completely with your points. But I just wanted to add that sometimes people might use the "I can't afford it" line at work because they don't know how to get out of a fundraiser for a cause that is not a priority for them. I can feel pretty cornered at work over school fundraisers for my co-workers' children's activities (scouts or just general preschool activities?) and right now I get to use the line of "oh sorry, we're doing the Dave Ramsey Plan" as my catchall to get out of the awkward requests. I do the same for co-workers who sell various network marketing goods too. It might not be the same setup in your scenario above, but I can totally see the frustration of being asked for donations to fundraisers at work when you just want to make those decisions at home with your family.

I know, you're right, I'm just sensitive to that particular excuse. I mean, it's not as if people even need to give a reason; they can say whatever they want. Nobody needs to justify their financial decisions to coworkers (or to anybody, for that matter).

Oh, and I agree with pp about volunteering also. I volunteer a significant amount of time to four different community organizations because I love to volunteer and these are causes that are important to me. I am also lucky enough to work for a company that is VERY encouraging of community involvement, and offers monetary matches for donations and for volunteer hours. Volunteering is a great way to 'donate' to a cause if you can't do so financially.

jessica490 · October 2015

We don't give regularly but we give to certain charities/events throughout the year.

Giving Comfort

Food Collections

People we know who have a sick family member and do events to raise money to help with medical bills

Salvation Army at Christmas time

And whatever else comes our way that we want to donate to

brij2006 · October 2015

We are big givers. AKA, I am a giver. H is a newbie giver and still trying to figure this whole thing out.

We tithe 10% to our church. This is on our regular incomes, bonuses and commissions, cash gifts we are given, and anything else we bring in.

Our other giving is mostly done locally. We support the 2 local volunteer fire departments, give to various benefits, and attend multiple fundraisers.

I am very tedious about my giving though. We dig deep into the organizations intentions and use of the money. There is a very large list of things I refuse to give to because of the way their company is run, the amount that is put toward "administration fee's", and how they plan to use the money.

We are Christians and view that the money we do have is Gods, not ours. So we are to find the best uses of Gods money. It really makes us re-think the way we spend, save, and give money.

Xstatic3333 · October 2015

simplyelise said:
dragonstarjk
I agree completely with your points. But I just wanted to add that sometimes people might use the "I can't afford it" line at work because they don't know how to get out of a fundraiser for a cause that is not a priority for them. I can feel pretty cornered at work over school fundraisers for my co-workers' children's activities (scouts or just general preschool activities?) and right now I get to use the line of "oh sorry, we're doing the Dave Ramsey Plan" as my catchall to get out of the awkward requests. I do the same for co-workers who sell various network marketing goods too. It might not be the same setup in your scenario above, but I can totally see the frustration of being asked for donations to fundraisers at work when you just want to make those decisions at home with your family.

This can be really tough. Sometimes when a fundraiser comes around and I either just gave to a different one or just had an unexpected expense (like my recent tire trouble) I can't give and its so hard to decline smoothly. The choices are plead finances and then face judgement if you are later seen spending money or just pretend to forget and seem like a jerk. I also get some requests for charities that I don't love, like the major medical charities that spend more on advertising then I'm comfortable with. Lots of friends running races for those lately.

formerlyGDaisy09 · October 2015

we give to organizations that are important to us, I don't go so far as to set an annual budget for giving, but if we're having a month where our spending has been down and a gift fits into our budget we make it happen.

That said I generally plan that we'll make gifts to:

My Alma Mater

The local humane society

the NFP ballet company I work with

The local dog park we frequent

the local children's hospital

the local cancer research center

This year the administration at my alma mater did several things that really pissed me off, so they did not get a gift from us this year (we usually give on the $100-200 level...pennies for them, but not for us). so the other organizations we support got a little bit more from us this year.

we make $89K Gross, and still have SL debt, and one car loan. When we get approached for things that we don't generally give to I'll often say "sorry, our charatable giving budget for the year is spent", even though we don't really have a budget I want to make sure the organizations that are important to us are taken care of before I go buying things from other fundraisers.

Related I also now refuse to buy anything from our nieces and nephew's fundraisers because twice now I've participated in their fundraisers and never received the items that I paid for.

maple2 · October 2015

We are not currently members of a church, but I still have a goal of us giving 10% of our income to other causes/charities we believe in. We haven't quite reached that level yet, and now that I'm back in school and essentially without an income we probably won't make a lot of progress for another year or so.

DH and I have different giving philosophies, which makes it an interesting negotiation. I feel like I have been very fortunate in my life and have an obligation to give back. I'm willing to make some personal sacrifices to make that happen, like less frequent or fancy vacations for example. DH agrees in principle with giving, but he is much less willing to make sacrifices to make it happen. He would be happy to donate everything above and beyond our monthly expenses, retirement savings, and another earmarked savings. The problem with that approach is that it's pretty easy to come up with other things to save for rather than giving.

We are still working our way towards something that makes us both happy. I know we will come closer to my goal once our income is higher and our fixed costs don't make up such a large part of our income.

For now, we spend around $20/week at the grocery store for a local food pantry and make one-time contributions each year to our colleges, public radio, and a couple of environmental non-profits as well as the occasional contribution to kids who are selling things or people who are doing races, etc.

hoffse · October 2015

We donate quite a bit to several charities of our choice.

We also donate way more than I wish we did to obligatory charities - when a partner is on the board of something and sends out a really forceful email about donating, you kind of have to.

My job is interesting because I quite a bit of tax work for 501(c)(3) orgs and other tax-exempt orgs. I get to form them, which is pretty cool, and I enjoy filling out the 1023's for their application for tax-exempt status.

I also see the dark side of nonprofits. I do way more work in the private inurement arena than seems reasonable. I've also seen things like embezzlement, etc. In the nonprofit world it's called a "significant diversion of assets," and it happens often enough that there is actually a box you can check on the annual return to report it. Crazy, right?

We are pretty strict with who we give to, outside of those random $25 obligatory donations. We use guidestar.org and charitywatch pretty heavily to vet charities before making a donation to them. As a general rule, we don't donate unless 90% or more of our money goes to the nonprofit's mission.

csuave · October 2015

I want to do my part to make my community/world a better place so I give and volunteer. I feel fortunate for all that I have and want to give to those less fortunate. I think tithing is a good rule of thumb and I give about 10% of my income to my church and a handful of charities and schools with church getting a large portion but not all of the 10%. This giving comes out of my own account/fun money (we do his, hers and ours).

I have always given to charity but once I was established as an adult I stepped it up to 10%--give or take some % depending on where small donations net me. My financial situation is and always has been very good and I save a lot so I never felt like I was stretching myself to do this.

H donates some money here and there to this and that from his fun money. It is probably a low percentage of his income (or what his income was back when he had a job).

From our joint account we write a few checks here and there when we want to support an organization or fundraiser but we mostly use our joint account for "fun charity." This includes memberships where we usually get some kind of benefit, like invites to free movie previews for supporting the local film office. It also includes tickets to events like the football party we went to on Sunday. We went to a party room at a restaurant/event center to watch the game and eat a full buffet meal with full open bar. Tickets for this were $40 each and all funds raised went to Children's Hospital. Or the $20 per person we spend for the animal shelter Halloween party on Friday where our dog had a great time and we had a great time too drinking wine and eating snacks and socializing.

We also volunteer at 1-2 events annually together and do one volunteer turn bell ringing each Christmas season.

hoffse · October 2015

I will also say that I would only give to a church if it voluntarily files a form 990 each year. Churches aren't required to do this, and so most of them don't. That means there is no public inspection or oversight of how money is spent. This is how you wind up with the Joel Osteens of the world. That church doesn't file a 990, so guidestar lists its annual income as $0, even though it spent more than $75 million renovating the Houston Rockets stadium to turn it into a megachurch.

Obviously most churches aren't like that, but I think the lack of required reporting for them is a real issue. Osteen's church is absolutely a business, and it should be taxed like any other business. If you have $75M to burn on a stadium reno, you should be paying federal income taxes.

I've also had a couple of elderly clients be taken for a ride by "churches" that aren't required to report anything. One lady was giving tens of thousands a year to this guy who was claiming to be a prophet. As best we could figure, he was taking her money and vacationing in Europe with it.

Now, we will give to religious 501(c)(3)s that are not designated as churches (so they are required to file a 990, and we can see how the money is being spent). We give to several Catholic charity groups that way.

EDIT: I would also probably donate to a church if I was on the finance committee or had some way of seeing the church's numbers. As it stands, H and I don't see enough info on how our church spends its money to donate. So we will volunteer time, but we will not donate money.

brij2006 · October 2015

@hoffse The reasoning behind churches not paying taxes on what they bring in is because their funding comes from already taxed money (tithes and donations).

hoffse · October 2015

brij2006 said:

@hoffse The reasoning behind churches not paying taxes on what they bring in is because their funding comes from already taxed money (tithes and donations).

Right. That's the rationale for all tax-exempt entities.

My problem with it is they aren't reporting how they spend it. They don't have to. Other nonprofits do.

Xstatic3333 · October 2015

@hoffse if you're interested in the topic of abuse of church donations, Google John Oliver's "Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption" and watch the associated videos (or the full show if you have an HBO Go password). Absolutely hilarious!

ETA: As a churchgoer myself I didn't find it anti-religion, just anti-televangelism scams

brij2006 · October 2015

hoffse said:

brij2006 said:

@hoffse The reasoning behind churches not paying taxes on what they bring in is because their funding comes from already taxed money (tithes and donations).

Right. That's the rationale for all tax-exempt entities.

My problem with it is they aren't reporting how they spend it. They don't have to. Other nonprofits do.

I don't know, I guess I don't agree with it. What a church spends its money on is up to the church members/elders/counsel, not the worry of the government.

hoffse · October 2015

Xstatic3333 said:

@hoffse if you're interested in the topic of abuse of church donations, Google John Oliver's "Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption" and watch the associated videos (or the full show if you have an HBO Go password). Absolutely hilarious! ETA: As a churchgoer myself I didn't find it anti-religion, just anti-televangelism scams

Oh man, that would probably make my blood boil.

I do recognize that I'm probably in the extreme minority on this issue. I'm a church goer, and I refuse to donate money because my church doesn't file a 990, nor does it publish internal church finances for the parishioners to review. I pull the 990's for all of the nonprofits we donate to, even the obligatory ones. It's just my personal philosophy, because misappropriating tax-exempt money is way too easy and happens way too often. I'm very willing to give, but I want to see that the organization is using that money for its mission.

Side bar: My H likes to watch Osteen on the weekends. H thinks he's a sociopath. The man can literally cry on command. It's fascinating. And terrifying.

csuave · October 2015

Xstatic3333 said:

@hoffse if you're interested in the topic of abuse of church donations, Google John Oliver's "Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption" and watch the associated videos (or the full show if you have an HBO Go password). Absolutely hilarious! ETA: As a churchgoer myself I didn't find it anti-religion, just anti-televangelism scams

Did you see Going Clear (about Scientology?). I didn't see it, but H did and said it points out the similar tax exempt "issues" Scientology has to the topic of Oliver's segment.

John Oliver is hilarious and I think that segment was good in showing the scams out there.

bmo88 · October 2015

hoffse: I 100% agree.

brij2006: I completely disagree. If an entity is going to receive the benefit of not paying taxes (like all other nonprofits) then it should have an accountability to the public for how it spends it's money. Besides, if they are above board and spend appropriately, then why not report how they spend it?

ETA: As an Executive Director of a nonprofit entity, I understand it is my job and the institutions to be financially responsible and good stewards of all dollars donated and pubic funds that are received. I hold my institution to a high standard and have to report annually how the money is spent. Why should a church be exempt from that that responsibility?

brij2006 · October 2015

hoffse said:

Xstatic3333 said:

@hoffse if you're interested in the topic of abuse of church donations, Google John Oliver's "Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption" and watch the associated videos (or the full show if you have an HBO Go password). Absolutely hilarious! ETA: As a churchgoer myself I didn't find it anti-religion, just anti-televangelism scams

Oh man, that would probably make my blood boil.

I do recognize that I'm probably in the extreme minority on this issue. I'm a church goer, and I refuse to donate money because my church doesn't file a 990, nor does it publish internal church finances for the parishioners to review. I pull the 990's for all of the nonprofits we donate to, even the obligatory ones. It's just my personal philosophy, because misappropriating tax-exempt money is way too easy and happens way too often. I'm very willing to give, but I want to see that the organization is using that money for its mission.

Side bar: My H likes to watch Osteen on the weekends. H thinks he's a sociopath. The man can literally cry on command. It's fascinating. And terrifying.

Have you ever asked them for a copy of their expense report? I flat out told our church, "we want to begin tithing, but want to make sure the spending habits of the church align with our views on where we give our money to." They were happy to oblige, and we even sat down with the church treasurer to discuss what/where their money goes and the future intentions of the church.

I am much more involved in the church now, so that helps as well. But when we first started we weren't involved in anything behind the scenes.

hoffse · October 2015

brij2006 said:

hoffse said:

brij2006 said:

@hoffse The reasoning behind churches not paying taxes on what they bring in is because their funding comes from already taxed money (tithes and donations).

Right. That's the rationale for all tax-exempt entities.

My problem with it is they aren't reporting how they spend it. They don't have to. Other nonprofits do.

I don't know, I guess I don't agree with it. What a church spends its money on is up to the church members/elders/counsel, not the worry of the government.

I understand.

The problem here is all other charities and tax-exempt entities do have to report to the government how their funds are being used. Being exempt from paying income tax is something that the government is granting to these organizations, so I think the government actually does have a pretty strong interest in making sure the money is being spent for a tax-exempt purpose.

Being tax-exempt is not a right. Paying your taxes is the general rule. Being exempt from paying taxes is the exception to the rule.

hoffse · October 2015

brij2006 said:

hoffse said:

Xstatic3333 said:

@hoffse if you're interested in the topic of abuse of church donations, Google John Oliver's "Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption" and watch the associated videos (or the full show if you have an HBO Go password). Absolutely hilarious! ETA: As a churchgoer myself I didn't find it anti-religion, just anti-televangelism scams

Oh man, that would probably make my blood boil.

I do recognize that I'm probably in the extreme minority on this issue. I'm a church goer, and I refuse to donate money because my church doesn't file a 990, nor does it publish internal church finances for the parishioners to review. I pull the 990's for all of the nonprofits we donate to, even the obligatory ones. It's just my personal philosophy, because misappropriating tax-exempt money is way too easy and happens way too often. I'm very willing to give, but I want to see that the organization is using that money for its mission.

Side bar: My H likes to watch Osteen on the weekends. H thinks he's a sociopath. The man can literally cry on command. It's fascinating. And terrifying.

Have you ever asked them for a copy of their expense report? I flat out told our church, "we want to begin tithing, but want to make sure the spending habits of the church align with our views on where we give our money to." They were happy to oblige, and we even sat down with the church treasurer to discuss what/where their money goes and the future intentions of the church.
I am much more involved in the church now, so that helps as well. But when we first started we weren't involved in anything behind the scenes.

Yes. They declined. So I declined to donate.

EDIT: We're catholic, so our parish has to report to the archdiocese. They do have some financial oversight, but parishioners don't necessarily see it.

What is your personal philosophy on charitable giving?

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