After my other post and a conversation with a friend, I am genuinely curious what others think.
My DH and I have always given. We don't really have a set amount or percentage, but we have always given to our alma maters (my high school, his colleges and my college), to a local animal shelter we rescued our dogs from and the nonprofit we work for. We have been helped greatly over the course of our lives in many ways, and wish to pay it forward. We still have debt from student loans, a car and a home, but that has never stopped us from giving something. Even when we made 1/3 of what we are making now, we still gave. We truly believe anyone can be a philanthropist on some level and be generous.
In contrast, I have a friend who thinks that they cannot afford to give. Now, they have a home (which they put 20% down), but they make $100,000+ a year, have no debts, no children and have about $40,000 in savings. We live in a very affordable area (average family of 4 income is $50,000). We have discussed giving a few times before and she doesn't even believe they can afford to give to charities. I did push her a bit and said, "even the smallest amount can make a difference." But she doesn't think it's feasible. She even said they are thankful her husband got a full ride scholarship for college, but doesn't feel they can afford to give the college any money. I find it a really interesting perspective. She is very frugal. They don't eat out, they don't go on vacations (her husband wants to, but she doesn't want to spend the money) and she is very focused on saving for retirement. It's fine to have your financial priorities and if you don't want to give you don't have to, but I find it interesting she phrases it as not being able to afford it. But it's her decision.
Anyway, what are your personal philosophies on giving?
Re: What is your personal philosophy on charitable giving?
That said, this stuff is pretty personal. Any chance your friend does give, but doesn't like to talk about it?
We wish we could do more, specifically we would love to tithe, but we are a family of 5 on $46k and frankly don't have a lot of extra money. We're not sure if we'll be able to do the Christmas presents for charity this year, but then I think of how my kids are all in warm coats and boots and I know that the children on the charity's list have so much less than we do. I feel like we don't give a lot of money but I hope by volunteering we're still helping while we're living in a season of life that is a little tight financially. We're so blessed to have what we do, we want to do as much as we can.
I agree completely with your points. But I just wanted to add that sometimes people might use the "I can't afford it" line at work because they don't know how to get out of a fundraiser for a cause that is not a priority for them. I can feel pretty cornered at work over school fundraisers for my co-workers' children's activities (scouts or just general preschool activities?) and right now I get to use the line of "oh sorry, we're doing the Dave Ramsey Plan" as my catchall to get out of the awkward requests. I do the same for co-workers who sell various network marketing goods too. It might not be the same setup in your scenario above, but I can totally see the frustration of being asked for donations to fundraisers at work when you just want to make those decisions at home with your family.
I know, you're right, I'm just sensitive to that particular excuse. I mean, it's not as if people even need to give a reason; they can say whatever they want. Nobody needs to justify their financial decisions to coworkers (or to anybody, for that matter).
Oh, and I agree with pp about volunteering also. I volunteer a significant amount of time to four different community organizations because I love to volunteer and these are causes that are important to me. I am also lucky enough to work for a company that is VERY encouraging of community involvement, and offers monetary matches for donations and for volunteer hours. Volunteering is a great way to 'donate' to a cause if you can't do so financially.
We don't give regularly but we give to certain charities/events throughout the year.
Giving Comfort
Food Collections
People we know who have a sick family member and do events to raise money to help with medical bills
Salvation Army at Christmas time
And whatever else comes our way that we want to donate to
TTC since 1/13 DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)

Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system.
Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340 Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
Riley Elaine born 2/16/15
TTC 2.0 6/15
Chemical Pregnancy 9/15
Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
BFP 9/16 EDD 6/3/17
Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com
We are still working our way towards something that makes us both happy. I know we will come closer to my goal once our income is higher and our fixed costs don't make up such a large part of our income.
I have always given to charity but once I was established as an adult I stepped it up to 10%--give or take some % depending on where small donations net me. My financial situation is and always has been very good and I save a lot so I never felt like I was stretching myself to do this.
H donates some money here and there to this and that from his fun money. It is probably a low percentage of his income (or what his income was back when he had a job).
From our joint account we write a few checks here and there when we want to support an organization or fundraiser but we mostly use our joint account for "fun charity." This includes memberships where we usually get some kind of benefit, like invites to free movie previews for supporting the local film office. It also includes tickets to events like the football party we went to on Sunday. We went to a party room at a restaurant/event center to watch the game and eat a full buffet meal with full open bar. Tickets for this were $40 each and all funds raised went to Children's Hospital. Or the $20 per person we spend for the animal shelter Halloween party on Friday where our dog had a great time and we had a great time too drinking wine and eating snacks and socializing.
We also volunteer at 1-2 events annually together and do one volunteer turn bell ringing each Christmas season.
TTC since 1/13 DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)

Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system.
Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340 Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
Riley Elaine born 2/16/15
TTC 2.0 6/15
Chemical Pregnancy 9/15
Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
BFP 9/16 EDD 6/3/17
Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com
ETA: As a churchgoer myself I didn't find it anti-religion, just anti-televangelism scams
TTC since 1/13 DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)

Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system.
Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340 Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
Riley Elaine born 2/16/15
TTC 2.0 6/15
Chemical Pregnancy 9/15
Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
BFP 9/16 EDD 6/3/17
Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com
John Oliver is hilarious and I think that segment was good in showing the scams out there.
TTC since 1/13 DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)

Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system.
Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340 Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
Riley Elaine born 2/16/15
TTC 2.0 6/15
Chemical Pregnancy 9/15
Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
BFP 9/16 EDD 6/3/17
Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com