Ahh....financial woes of friends/family!

bmo88 · March 2016

Sorry, just a vent. My cousin is considering buying life insurance (great!) and she reached out to ask some questions since we did this last year. I gave her a basic run down and thought I set her in a good direction. I recommended getting a term life insurance policy that was in the $500,000 range given her income and life circumstances (married, 1 kid).

Well....she has been talking to someone she met through another friend and now "sells" insurance through his new job. He is trying to convince her buy a return on premium type of insurance that costs 5x more than term life insurance. I tried to tell her that it's not worth it and the reality is, she could invest the difference and actually make more money in the long run. But she thinks it's a better idea because then she "gets her money" back in the end. Ugh....there are so many issues with this outlook.

I know it's her decision, but ugh, it's not a good financial decision! Vent over.

Anyone else have friends ask you for financial advice and then completely ignore it?

MommyLiberty5013 · March 2016

That stinks and it's annoying because you put in the effort and time to give her info and then she ignored it.

At least you have a good financial head on your shoulders. If she asks you for your opinion again, you could just reiterate your opinion.

But, this is just another form of shopping. Instead of buying a dress, she's buying a LI product. It is like her trying something on in a store and it being all wrong for her body type, but she buys it anyway no matter what people say and there's nothing you can do about it.

vlagrl29 · March 2016

that's frustrating! she will regret it.

abrewer5 · March 2016

I feel your pain and understand your frustrations. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink I guess.

My mother refuses to take any financial advice I give her and calls me to complain about how she works 7 days a week pretty much every day. I've offered to help her come up with a budget, I've offered her my copy of DR TMM, and I've offered to send them to FPU but she doesn't want help. (I know DR is iffy on this board, but they definitely need something like his program) She tells me we have different views on money and we'd end up fighting. The thing is she has SO MUCH debt. She got a settlement from a bad accident that she was in, around $25K and I told her she could use it to pay off all her CCs and have some left over to build an e-fund she laughed and said yeah sure, that would even cover all my CC balances. WHAT?! I hate to see them struggling and I truly want to help, but I can't them if they won't help themselves. And the sad part is they also have two car payments, a camper payment, mortgage and second mortgage... So they have a lot of debt. Now my dad is in danger of losing his job again and she still won't let me help her. I've all but told her to stop complaining to me if she won't do anything to fix. Harsh, I know but I can't keep listening to it if she does nothing to change. For all I know she's blown the $25K on anything but debt or is at least chipping away at it slowly.

Sorry I didn't mean to hijack your thread, but this has been weighing on my mind so much lately.

Erikan73 · March 2016

Yes, and it's annoying. The hard part is realizing that all you can do is offer the information and when they decide to go another route, you did what you could. But I want to so often go, you could have made a difference with this but you opted to go a different direction and see what happened, but I know better.

smerka · March 2016

I often equate getting out of debt with losing weight. Someone can know exactly what they are supposed to do, but just can't make it happen for a million reasons. And it is really hard to watch.

als1982 · March 2016

We don't really talk finances with friends. At our last gathering I mentioned refinancing into a 15 year loan, and all I heard were echoing "we could never do/afford thats."

I do talk money with my mom because she is like minded and very proud of us. One side of H's family doesn't seem to understand that we are professionally and financially successful because we have a small house and drive old cars. The other side we don't mention it because we don't want them to ask to borrow it!

short+sassy · March 2016

I feel your pain and don't even get me started! One of my close friends and her H bought a townhome at the height of the So. CA real estate market with one of those dreaded interest only loans. Then the bottom dropped out a year later and they lost 1/3 the value of the home they had just bought. Fast forward 5 years and the first balloon payment is due. Except refinancing is out of the question (their original plan) because they are still upside down on the house. Because, you know, paying nothing toward your principal and not saving for that balloon payment will do that to you.

I couldn't help myself and asked her why they had gotten an interest only loan to begin with and why they hadn't saved up for the balloon payment. Reason on both. Because all they could afford was the interest only mortgage payment. Sooo...you all bought a house that you knew from the get-go you could not remotely afford. Expected the equity fairy to wave her magic wand and...in only 5 years...have your house increase in value SO much that you could refinance the loan. Knew after the first year this wasn't going to happen. But still did nothing to improve your situation. Fortunately, they were able to get their loan restructured in one of those programs. But that was after months of fear they were going to lose their home and spending countless hours and a lot of frustration trying to get into one of those programs.

short+sassy · March 2016

On a different note, my coworker who is pretty young and just starting out in life, asked for my advice on where to buy living room furniture for her first apartment. She had been planning to go to one of those "rent to own" places. I think because she could "picture" spending $180/month for furniture vs. just buying furniture outright. But it would be all hers in 18 months...after spending a total of $3620. For furniture that was probably worth $1,000 on a good day.

I pointed all this out to her and really stressed that those rent to own places are huge ripoffs and she would be better putting that $180/month away, sit on lawn chairs in the meantime, and just go buy a living room package at Rooms to Go or somewhere like that in a few months. I also told her that Rooms to Go usually has specials with interest free financing for 60 months and only $20/month. I was shocked that she still didn't seem very convinced. I'm pretty sure she has good credit, so $20/month seemed awesome to someone willing to spend $180/month.

I brought her a flyer the next day that I had gotten in the mail from a discount furniture place. She did end up getting her furniture from there, so at least she did herself a big favor and didn't get sucked into one of those atrocious rent to own deals.

LillibetteV · March 2016

my absolute favorite is when people ask me how I'm able to save so much money each month (so I tell them my strategies) and then they respond "well those little amounts don't add up to anything and you must be so miserable all the time and I don't have time to do those". Well....(1) it clearly does add up since I have more money in the bank than you and (2) I'm not miserable at all - cutting out the crap I didn't care about left me with more money and time to spend on stuff that's important to me and (3) most of my tricks are second nature at this point in my life and it takes no time at all!

bmo88 · March 2016

LillibetteV: I agree with this completely! DH and I have been tackling our debt and saving up a 7 month emergency fund for the past 6 years. We have thrown extra money (whether it's $30 or $300) at our debt and set up automatic transfers to savings and retirement.

I have friends and co-workers say, "you must make a lot of money to do that" or "you aren't saving that much by paying it off early." Uh....for real?

We do actually make good money now, but we started out at making $45,000 combined 6 years ago and still employed the same strategies. Just because our income has increased, doesn't mean our lifestyle/expenses have increased.

And I actually enjoy saving money and seeing the debt go away! We still try to balance it with fun activities, reasonable vacations and hobbies. But we definitely have and always live well below our means, regardless of income.

bmo88 · March 2016

short+sassy: Ahhh....I have friends who have done this. Or my big frustration with income based repayment plans for student loans. I have friends who do not even cover the interest because their IBR plan says their minimum is lower than that. However, they will spend lots of money on eating out, buying nice clothes, and other "fun stuff." I keep telling them, your loan is actually getting bigger by the day and not smaller because you aren't touching the principal. Most say, "but I am paying my minimums." Just have to SMDH.

short+sassy · March 2016

bmo88 said:

short+sassy: Ahhh....I have friends who have done this. Or my big frustration with income based repayment plans for student loans. I have friends who do not even cover the interest because their IBR plan says their minimum is lower than that. However, they will spend lots of money on eating out, buying nice clothes, and other "fun stuff." I keep telling them, your loan is actually getting bigger by the day and not smaller because you aren't touching the principal. Most say, "but I am paying my minimums." Just have to SMDH.

Rrriiigghhttt! And, when they do start to pay attention it will be, "WHAT!?!? I've been paying all this money on these loans for years, why has my balance gone up and not down?"

bmo88 · March 2016

short+sassy said:

bmo88 said:

short+sassy: Ahhh....I have friends who have done this. Or my big frustration with income based repayment plans for student loans. I have friends who do not even cover the interest because their IBR plan says their minimum is lower than that. However, they will spend lots of money on eating out, buying nice clothes, and other "fun stuff." I keep telling them, your loan is actually getting bigger by the day and not smaller because you aren't touching the principal. Most say, "but I am paying my minimums." Just have to SMDH.

Rrriiigghhttt! And, when they do start to pay attention it will be, "WHAT!?!? I've been paying all this money on these loans for years, why has my balance gone up and not down?"

Exactly!!! I actually showed one friend that by the time she pays back her loans, at her current rate, she will have paid almost 2.5 times the amount and it will total to $210,000. That's a mortgage in our area!

smerka · March 2016

bmo88 said:

short+sassy: Ahhh....I have friends who have done this. Or my big frustration with income based repayment plans for student loans. I have friends who do not even cover the interest because their IBR plan says their minimum is lower than that. However, they will spend lots of money on eating out, buying nice clothes, and other "fun stuff." I keep telling them, your loan is actually getting bigger by the day and not smaller because you aren't touching the principal. Most say, "but I am paying my minimums." Just have to SMDH.

Here's a question. If someone is on IBR, does the IRS take their refund for the loans or are they not considered in default? This came up in a moms group Facebook page I'm on.

brij2006 · March 2016

bmo88 said:

short+sassy: Ahhh....I have friends who have done this. Or my big frustration with income based repayment plans for student loans. I have friends who do not even cover the interest because their IBR plan says their minimum is lower than that. However, they will spend lots of money on eating out, buying nice clothes, and other "fun stuff." I keep telling them, your loan is actually getting bigger by the day and not smaller because you aren't touching the principal. Most say, "but I am paying my minimums." Just have to SMDH.

This one kills me. I had a friend try to settle her student loans by allowing them to go into default then filing for hardship. Her H makes $250k+/year, they drive Audi's, and live in a $1mil house. She has $100k in student loans, but then told me how they spent $30k on a house remodel (paid cash). Huh?!?!?! Take that $30k and throw it toward the student loans! What are you doing????

I will say that we get a lot of flack for our lifestyle, but we know we're different. When people talk about credit card points with me and push them, I let them know there's no credit used in our house. We usually get the, "there's no way we could live without our credit cards. What if something happens?" Well, then we use our savings that we've slowly built. We also know that our mindset is very different as well. If something happens to one of our cars, we don't immediately jump to the need to buy new or NEED a warranty. It's just a different mindset that can take a while to get used to and re-train your brain.

LillibetteV · March 2016

brij2006 said:

bmo88 said:

short+sassy: Ahhh....I have friends who have done this. Or my big frustration with income based repayment plans for student loans. I have friends who do not even cover the interest because their IBR plan says their minimum is lower than that. However, they will spend lots of money on eating out, buying nice clothes, and other "fun stuff." I keep telling them, your loan is actually getting bigger by the day and not smaller because you aren't touching the principal. Most say, "but I am paying my minimums." Just have to SMDH.

This one kills me. I had a friend try to settle her student loans by allowing them to go into default then filing for hardship. Her H makes $250k+/year, they drive Audi's, and live in a $1mil house. She has $100k in student loans, but then told me how they spent $30k on a house remodel (paid cash). Huh?!?!?! Take that $30k and throw it toward the student loans! What are you doing????

I will say that we get a lot of flack for our lifestyle, but we know we're different. When people talk about credit card points with me and push them, I let them know there's no credit used in our house. We usually get the, "there's no way we could live without our credit cards. What if something happens?" Well, then we use our savings that we've slowly built. We also know that our mindset is very different as well. If something happens to one of our cars, we don't immediately jump to the need to buy new or NEED a warranty. It's just a different mindset that can take a while to get used to and re-train your brain.

Eeek - guilty as charged. If credit cards tempt you to overspend then I see why you would avoid them, but since that isn't an issue for us (and we pay in full every month so no interest payments) I LOVE the cash back! It's free money! Plus we use Ally for our emergency fund so it takes a few days to access the cash - when our dog was hit by a car and we had to lay down a ridiculous amount of money to save his life (they wouldn't operate until we pre-paid) I was glad that I had a credit card in my pocket that I could then pay off with the savings once it cleared into our checking account.

formerlyGDaisy09 · March 2016

LillibetteV said:

brij2006 said:

bmo88 said:

short+sassy: Ahhh....I have friends who have done this. Or my big frustration with income based repayment plans for student loans. I have friends who do not even cover the interest because their IBR plan says their minimum is lower than that. However, they will spend lots of money on eating out, buying nice clothes, and other "fun stuff." I keep telling them, your loan is actually getting bigger by the day and not smaller because you aren't touching the principal. Most say, "but I am paying my minimums." Just have to SMDH.

This one kills me. I had a friend try to settle her student loans by allowing them to go into default then filing for hardship. Her H makes $250k+/year, they drive Audi's, and live in a $1mil house. She has $100k in student loans, but then told me how they spent $30k on a house remodel (paid cash). Huh?!?!?! Take that $30k and throw it toward the student loans! What are you doing????

I will say that we get a lot of flack for our lifestyle, but we know we're different. When people talk about credit card points with me and push them, I let them know there's no credit used in our house. We usually get the, "there's no way we could live without our credit cards. What if something happens?" Well, then we use our savings that we've slowly built. We also know that our mindset is very different as well. If something happens to one of our cars, we don't immediately jump to the need to buy new or NEED a warranty. It's just a different mindset that can take a while to get used to and re-train your brain.

Eeek - guilty as charged. If credit cards tempt you to overspend then I see why you would avoid them, but since that isn't an issue for us (and we pay in full every month so no interest payments) I LOVE the cash back! It's free money! Plus we use Ally for our emergency fund so it takes a few days to access the cash - when our dog was hit by a car and we had to lay down a ridiculous amount of money to save his life (they wouldn't operate until we pre-paid) I was glad that I had a credit card in my pocket that I could then pay off with the savings once it cleared into our checking account.

this is one of the situations where I'd be very greatful for they years of credit history we have and why I take a limit increase when offered.

we work hard to keep our spending in check, and do better with credit cards. the cash back is an added bonus (I'm pretty sure we've gotten well over $500 in cash back in the last year.)

short+sassy · March 2016

brij2006 said:

bmo88 said:

short+sassy: Ahhh....I have friends who have done this. Or my big frustration with income based repayment plans for student loans. I have friends who do not even cover the interest because their IBR plan says their minimum is lower than that. However, they will spend lots of money on eating out, buying nice clothes, and other "fun stuff." I keep telling them, your loan is actually getting bigger by the day and not smaller because you aren't touching the principal. Most say, "but I am paying my minimums." Just have to SMDH.

This one kills me. I had a friend try to settle her student loans by allowing them to go into default then filing for hardship. Her H makes $250k+/year, they drive Audi's, and live in a $1mil house. She has $100k in student loans, but then told me how they spent $30k on a house remodel (paid cash). Huh?!?!?! Take that $30k and throw it toward the student loans! What are you doing????

I will say that we get a lot of flack for our lifestyle, but we know we're different. When people talk about credit card points with me and push them, I let them know there's no credit used in our house. We usually get the, "there's no way we could live without our credit cards. What if something happens?" Well, then we use our savings that we've slowly built. We also know that our mindset is very different as well. If something happens to one of our cars, we don't immediately jump to the need to buy new or NEED a warranty. It's just a different mindset that can take a while to get used to and re-train your brain.

This is such an ugly part of human nature that you'll sometimes see, even with people who are usually good people. The whole "if I can steal something and bite the hand that fed me, I will". I'm not knocking anyone who legitimately files for a hardship though, if I were in charge, it would need to be really extreme circumstances.

But your friend sounds like someone who is making good money from the degree she got, but now doesn't want to pay for that degree.

LillibetteV · March 2016

formerlyGDaisy09 it was the first time I've ever had to use my emergency fund and I am still SO incredibly grateful that we had it. It is horrible enough seeing your puppy in so much pain, but there was no question that we were going to buy him the best care because we had the cash available (we just needed the credit card to float it while it cleared to our checking account). A horrible situation would have been compounded if we had to make medical care decisions based on cost - the guilt would have eaten me up if we couldn't save him and his leg.

Years ago we had another pet that needed surgery and we paid for it by cutting back on our wedding flowers - people thought I was nuts but come on, I'd feel like a total shit-bag if I let my pet die because I spent the money on dumb flowers!

dragonstarjk · March 2016

I won't even go there with my family! You all would be appalled.

I do have this co-worker who's married, who has a combined income higher than ours, and doesn't understand how we can possibly afford to travel 'all the time'. We take at least one trip a year, but lately we've been trying to make it two per year. Nothing super extravagant.

Well.....our mortgage is $800 less per month than theirs, we don't pay $100+/month for fancy smartphones, we don't pay $100+ a month for TV, and I don't get my hair and nails done all the time like she does. It's easy to figure out!

bmo88 · March 2016

dragonstarjk: Funny you mention the smart phone thing. I just had a friend today give me a hard time because I have a $25 go phone from AT&T. It is a basic smart phone, but my plan is $15 a month because I am the 5th line on my family's plan (I pay my parents once a year).

I refused to "lease" a phone for hundreds of dollars, so I bought the cheapest phone I could from them (other than a flip phone--I hate those). It isn't fancy, but it gets the job done.

My friend said, "you make enough money to buy a nicer phone." I responded, "Yes, I can, but I would rather fund my retirement with that money."

kmurphy2131 · March 2016

LillibetteV said:

formerlyGDaisy09 it was the first time I've ever had to use my emergency fund and I am still SO incredibly grateful that we had it. It is horrible enough seeing your puppy in so much pain, but there was no question that we were going to buy him the best care because we had the cash available (we just needed the credit card to float it while it cleared to our checking account). A horrible situation would have been compounded if we had to make medical care decisions based on cost - the guilt would have eaten me up if we couldn't save him and his leg.

Years ago we had another pet that needed surgery and we paid for it by cutting back on our wedding flowers - people thought I was nuts but come on, I'd feel like a total shit-bag if I let my pet die because I spent the money on dumb flowers!

I have never thought of that before. We have money set aside for emergency vet bills but it could take 2-4 days to access it.

LillibetteV · March 2016

kmurphy2131 said:

LillibetteV said:

formerlyGDaisy09 it was the first time I've ever had to use my emergency fund and I am still SO incredibly grateful that we had it. It is horrible enough seeing your puppy in so much pain, but there was no question that we were going to buy him the best care because we had the cash available (we just needed the credit card to float it while it cleared to our checking account). A horrible situation would have been compounded if we had to make medical care decisions based on cost - the guilt would have eaten me up if we couldn't save him and his leg.

Years ago we had another pet that needed surgery and we paid for it by cutting back on our wedding flowers - people thought I was nuts but come on, I'd feel like a total shit-bag if I let my pet die because I spent the money on dumb flowers!

I have never thought of that before. We have money set aside for emergency vet bills but it could take 2-4 days to access it.

You should check with your local vet to see what their policy is, but none of the ones I've been to will send you a bill - you HAVE to pre-pay for them to do the work because otherwise they'd get stiffed constantly. And since your dog is legally considered "property" they don't have a right to medical care as far as I know. Many vets will help you apply for a Care Card to cover bills with an interest free period. When our dog was hit (he wasn't with us when it happened) they basically wrapped up the exposed fracture and gave him a pain killer until we got there and then said "ok so we did the bare minimum - the rest is up to you at this point". They gave us the "this is what we would do" option and then the "ok, but if you're broke this is also acceptable" option. Since he needed multiple surgeries waiting a few days to access the cash would have been a nightmare. I was sobbing like crazy, but my husband had the wherewithal to use the credit card that was giving out extra bonus points that month for spending over $5k!

formerlyGDaisy09 · March 2016

LillibetteV said:

kmurphy2131 said:

LillibetteV said:

formerlyGDaisy09 it was the first time I've ever had to use my emergency fund and I am still SO incredibly grateful that we had it. It is horrible enough seeing your puppy in so much pain, but there was no question that we were going to buy him the best care because we had the cash available (we just needed the credit card to float it while it cleared to our checking account). A horrible situation would have been compounded if we had to make medical care decisions based on cost - the guilt would have eaten me up if we couldn't save him and his leg.

Years ago we had another pet that needed surgery and we paid for it by cutting back on our wedding flowers - people thought I was nuts but come on, I'd feel like a total shit-bag if I let my pet die because I spent the money on dumb flowers!

I have never thought of that before. We have money set aside for emergency vet bills but it could take 2-4 days to access it.

You should check with your local vet to see what their policy is, but none of the ones I've been to will send you a bill - you HAVE to pre-pay for them to do the work because otherwise they'd get stiffed constantly. And since your dog is legally considered "property" they don't have a right to medical care as far as I know. Many vets will help you apply for a Care Card to cover bills with an interest free period. When our dog was hit (he wasn't with us when it happened) they basically wrapped up the exposed fracture and gave him a pain killer until we got there and then said "ok so we did the bare minimum - the rest is up to you at this point". They gave us the "this is what we would do" option and then the "ok, but if you're broke this is also acceptable" option. Since he needed multiple surgeries waiting a few days to access the cash would have been a nightmare. I was sobbing like crazy, but my husband had the wherewithal to use the credit card that was giving out extra bonus points that month for spending over $5k!

Yep. We also have a CareCredit account that our vet's office accepts (they actually have the information in our file and can access it even if we don't have the card on us). If you have pets and your vet takes care credit I'd highly recommend setting up an account for emergencies. any vet charges over $200 are interest free for 6 months. we've used this recently; one of the dogs got into the cat litter (after the cable guy left the laundry room door open), we took him for x-rays to make sure anything he ate would pass since I had no idea how much he ate and it was clumping litter, and then we had to re-up their heartworm/flea/tick RX for the year...the total bill was like $600 I budget $200/month for vet expenses so rather than dipping into our savings I charged it and it'll be paid in 3 months leaving the savings for future emergencies. Its the kind of safeguard that keeps me from second guessing seeking care for something for financial reasons.

brij2006 · March 2016

dragonstarjk said:

I won't even go there with my family! You all would be appalled.
I do have this co-worker who's married, who has a combined income higher than ours, and doesn't understand how we can possibly afford to travel 'all the time'. We take at least one trip a year, but lately we've been trying to make it two per year. Nothing super extravagant.
Well.....our mortgage is $800 less per month than theirs, we don't pay $100+/month for fancy smartphones, we don't pay $100+ a month for TV, and I don't get my hair and nails done all the time like she does. It's easy to figure out!

This is us. We went to Hawaii a couple of months ago. A friend made some comment how we went to Hawaii and splurged for a convertible. "Must be nice." Um, we don't have new cars, we never eat out, don't have cable, and we bought a foreclosure that needed a ton of work and still has a 1970's kitchen.

Their priorities are eating out, having brand new cars, and living in an extravagant house. Ours are to travel. I told her that she doesn't judge me and I won't judge her.

We've also had FIL make a comment because of the "toy" car we bought a few months ago. It's a Mustang, so people automatically assume it was crazy expensive. Our response to him was that we paid less for that car than he did for his pickup truck. We'll also sell it in a year or 2 and pocket the money, but he doesn't know that.

LillibetteV · March 2016

brij2006 said:

dragonstarjk said:

I won't even go there with my family! You all would be appalled.
I do have this co-worker who's married, who has a combined income higher than ours, and doesn't understand how we can possibly afford to travel 'all the time'. We take at least one trip a year, but lately we've been trying to make it two per year. Nothing super extravagant.
Well.....our mortgage is $800 less per month than theirs, we don't pay $100+/month for fancy smartphones, we don't pay $100+ a month for TV, and I don't get my hair and nails done all the time like she does. It's easy to figure out!

This is us. We went to Hawaii a couple of months ago. A friend made some comment how we went to Hawaii and splurged for a convertible. "Must be nice." Um, we don't have new cars, we never eat out, don't have cable, and we bought a foreclosure that needed a ton of work and still has a 1970's kitchen.
Their priorities are eating out, having brand new cars, and living in an extravagant house. Ours are to travel. I told her that she doesn't judge me and I won't judge her.

We've also had FIL make a comment because of the "toy" car we bought a few months ago. It's a Mustang, so people automatically assume it was crazy expensive. Our response to him was that we paid less for that car than he did for his pickup truck. We'll also sell it in a year or 2 and pocket the money, but he doesn't know that.

Right there with ya! Sure yellow formica is ugly - but Amsterdam during tulip season will be beautiful and we'd rather travel right now

kmurphy2131 · March 2016

LillibetteV said:

kmurphy2131 said:

LillibetteV said:

formerlyGDaisy09 it was the first time I've ever had to use my emergency fund and I am still SO incredibly grateful that we had it. It is horrible enough seeing your puppy in so much pain, but there was no question that we were going to buy him the best care because we had the cash available (we just needed the credit card to float it while it cleared to our checking account). A horrible situation would have been compounded if we had to make medical care decisions based on cost - the guilt would have eaten me up if we couldn't save him and his leg.

Years ago we had another pet that needed surgery and we paid for it by cutting back on our wedding flowers - people thought I was nuts but come on, I'd feel like a total shit-bag if I let my pet die because I spent the money on dumb flowers!

I have never thought of that before. We have money set aside for emergency vet bills but it could take 2-4 days to access it.

You should check with your local vet to see what their policy is, but none of the ones I've been to will send you a bill - you HAVE to pre-pay for them to do the work because otherwise they'd get stiffed constantly. And since your dog is legally considered "property" they don't have a right to medical care as far as I know. Many vets will help you apply for a Care Card to cover bills with an interest free period. When our dog was hit (he wasn't with us when it happened) they basically wrapped up the exposed fracture and gave him a pain killer until we got there and then said "ok so we did the bare minimum - the rest is up to you at this point". They gave us the "this is what we would do" option and then the "ok, but if you're broke this is also acceptable" option. Since he needed multiple surgeries waiting a few days to access the cash would have been a nightmare. I was sobbing like crazy, but my husband had the wherewithal to use the credit card that was giving out extra bonus points that month for spending over $5k!

I have a $9800 credit limit on my american express. Which is insane, I thought it was $5000 but I just checked and apparently it's gone up. I never have more than 1500-2000 on it (and I pay off the balance monthly) so that should suffice in an emergency. (edit: when I say emergency I mean, my dog will die or considerably suffer if I do not have immediate payment of thousands of dollars, and the credit card can carry it until I transfer from savings. I do not mean a credit card as an emergency fund)

I feel like vets should talk to you about that during regular appointments. I've never thought about needing to do upfront payment, and if we didn't have really high credit limits on two different cards, we would be in trouble.

@formerlyGdaisy09 I have looked into the care credit for the dentist & the vet before. We haven't had any major bills but I would definitely look into it if we had to pay beyond our basic cleaning/beyond basics for the dog

formerlyGDaisy09 · March 2016

kmurphy2131 said:

LillibetteV said:

kmurphy2131 said:

LillibetteV said:

formerlyGDaisy09 it was the first time I've ever had to use my emergency fund and I am still SO incredibly grateful that we had it. It is horrible enough seeing your puppy in so much pain, but there was no question that we were going to buy him the best care because we had the cash available (we just needed the credit card to float it while it cleared to our checking account). A horrible situation would have been compounded if we had to make medical care decisions based on cost - the guilt would have eaten me up if we couldn't save him and his leg.

Years ago we had another pet that needed surgery and we paid for it by cutting back on our wedding flowers - people thought I was nuts but come on, I'd feel like a total shit-bag if I let my pet die because I spent the money on dumb flowers!

I have never thought of that before. We have money set aside for emergency vet bills but it could take 2-4 days to access it.

You should check with your local vet to see what their policy is, but none of the ones I've been to will send you a bill - you HAVE to pre-pay for them to do the work because otherwise they'd get stiffed constantly. And since your dog is legally considered "property" they don't have a right to medical care as far as I know. Many vets will help you apply for a Care Card to cover bills with an interest free period. When our dog was hit (he wasn't with us when it happened) they basically wrapped up the exposed fracture and gave him a pain killer until we got there and then said "ok so we did the bare minimum - the rest is up to you at this point". They gave us the "this is what we would do" option and then the "ok, but if you're broke this is also acceptable" option. Since he needed multiple surgeries waiting a few days to access the cash would have been a nightmare. I was sobbing like crazy, but my husband had the wherewithal to use the credit card that was giving out extra bonus points that month for spending over $5k!

I have a $9800 credit limit on my american express. Which is insane, I thought it was $5000 but I just checked and apparently it's gone up. I never have more than 1500-2000 on it (and I pay off the balance monthly) so that should suffice in an emergency. (edit: when I say emergency I mean, my dog will die or considerably suffer if I do not have immediate payment of thousands of dollars, and the credit card can carry it until I transfer from savings. I do not mean a credit card as an emergency fund)

I feel like vets should talk to you about that during regular appointments. I've never thought about needing to do upfront payment, and if we didn't have really high credit limits on two different cards, we would be in trouble.

@formerlyGdaisy09 I have looked into the care credit for the dentist & the vet before. We haven't had any major bills but I would definitely look into it if we had to pay beyond our basic cleaning/beyond basics for the dog

we've had good experience with it. we floated both the dog's spay and neuter surgeries on it, oral surgery on the cat, and generally charge annual pest preventatives to it. we always have the funds in our savings, but it's a nice way to help cash-flow some of those larger expenses and avoid drawing from savings.

brij2006 · March 2016

LillibetteV said:

brij2006 said:

dragonstarjk said:

I won't even go there with my family! You all would be appalled.
I do have this co-worker who's married, who has a combined income higher than ours, and doesn't understand how we can possibly afford to travel 'all the time'. We take at least one trip a year, but lately we've been trying to make it two per year. Nothing super extravagant.
Well.....our mortgage is $800 less per month than theirs, we don't pay $100+/month for fancy smartphones, we don't pay $100+ a month for TV, and I don't get my hair and nails done all the time like she does. It's easy to figure out!

This is us. We went to Hawaii a couple of months ago. A friend made some comment how we went to Hawaii and splurged for a convertible. "Must be nice." Um, we don't have new cars, we never eat out, don't have cable, and we bought a foreclosure that needed a ton of work and still has a 1970's kitchen.
Their priorities are eating out, having brand new cars, and living in an extravagant house. Ours are to travel. I told her that she doesn't judge me and I won't judge her.

We've also had FIL make a comment because of the "toy" car we bought a few months ago. It's a Mustang, so people automatically assume it was crazy expensive. Our response to him was that we paid less for that car than he did for his pickup truck. We'll also sell it in a year or 2 and pocket the money, but he doesn't know that.

Right there with ya! Sure yellow formica is ugly - but Amsterdam during tulip season will be beautiful and we'd rather travel right now

Exactly! Every time they're over, she asks me when we're going to remodel the kitchen. Eh, someday. I look at the $10k it's going to take to remodel it and think of all the places we could travel to for that amount.

It's the same girl who knows we're debt free and keeps asking how our budget doesn't work for me to stay home. Well, you see, we would need to forgo every bit of travel, house updates, and upgrading cars, along with extra into retirement. All of that scares us. In order for me to stay home right now, it means giving up a lot of the extra things that we find very important in our lives. Neither one of us are sure we're ready to give those up yet.

LillibetteV · March 2016

kmurphy2131 In our situation the emergency vet was separate from his regular vet so no real way to warn us. Again, since we were not there when the accident happened we had no control over where he was brought for treatment. Not that I'm complaining - the emergency hospital is AMAZING and they were true miracle workers and just fantastic human beings. After a week in ICU he was discharged and it took us 30 minutes to get out the door because everyone insisted on coming to see him off!

Ahh....financial woes of friends/family!

Re: Ahh....financial woes of friends/family!

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