TTC ladies (and gents) & Pregnant MMers

cbee817 · December 2016

Good luck to all of you ladies (and gents)!

brij2006 · December 2016

@vlagrl35 and @als1982
It really sucks going through this and the isolation is definitely real.
If anyone wants me to, we could make this post a weekly thing so everyone has a place to come and talk about it and not feel so alone. Whether someone has been trying for 3 years or 3 months, I'd say it's fair game to anyone.

vlagrl35 · December 2016

@brij2006- I think that be a great idea. I'm open. I was just thinking of stopping the boards I look at regarding pregnancy. It's not good for me to keep most of my focus on it but a weekly check in here would be good.

I woke up early thinking abou t all those tests this month and thinking I'm down the road to infertility. DH let me sleep in thank god. I had a really good November mentally speaking because I let go of it so I need to continue that for my sanity. I'm only getting the HSG this month because of already meeting my deductilbe. This will either happen or it won't and I can't live life like this. I'm use to a postive outlook on life and being happy. So I'm saying screw you to this thing I cannot control - its not going to get me. If we are still trying 6 months from now I will get a puppy instead. But I cannot continue to try after the year mark. I admire those that can.

LillibetteV · December 2016

vlagrl35 said:

@brij2006- I think that be a great idea. I'm open. I was just thinking of stopping the boards I look at regarding pregnancy. It's not good for me to keep most of my focus on it but a weekly check in here would be good.

I woke up early thinking abou t all those tests this month and thinking I'm down the road to infertility. DH let me sleep in thank god. I had a really good November mentally speaking because I let go of it so I need to continue that for my sanity. I'm only getting the HSG this month because of already meeting my deductilbe. This will either happen or it won't and I can't live life like this. I'm use to a postive outlook on life and being happy. So I'm saying screw you to this thing I cannot control - its not going to get me. If we are still trying 6 months from now I will get a puppy instead. But I cannot continue to try after the year mark. I admire those that can.

Yay for puppies!!! And I would just suggest you keep an open mind. I didn't want to do any fertility treatments. Then I was OK with an IUI, but IVF was definitely out of the question. And then I was faced with the fact that it was IVF or no biological children of our own and I changed my mind yet again. Be kind to yourself and allow your feelings to evolve. Infertility is definitely not an easy road.

als1982 · December 2016

brij2006 said:

@vlagrl35 and @als1982
It really sucks going through this and the isolation is definitely real.
If anyone wants me to, we could make this post a weekly thing so everyone has a place to come and talk about it and not feel so alone. Whether someone has been trying for 3 years or 3 months, I'd say it's fair game to anyone.

Honestly, Getting Pregnant and GP Moms boards already exist. If I wanted to, I'd post about those topics there. And frankly it'd be be pretty painful to come here and find a thread about others' pregnancies.

vlagrl35 · December 2016

LillibetteV said:

vlagrl35 said:

@brij2006- I think that be a great idea. I'm open. I was just thinking of stopping the boards I look at regarding pregnancy. It's not good for me to keep most of my focus on it but a weekly check in here would be good.

I woke up early thinking abou t all those tests this month and thinking I'm down the road to infertility. DH let me sleep in thank god. I had a really good November mentally speaking because I let go of it so I need to continue that for my sanity. I'm only getting the HSG this month because of already meeting my deductilbe. This will either happen or it won't and I can't live life like this. I'm use to a postive outlook on life and being happy. So I'm saying screw you to this thing I cannot control - its not going to get me. If we are still trying 6 months from now I will get a puppy instead. But I cannot continue to try after the year mark. I admire those that can.

Yay for puppies!!! And I would just suggest you keep an open mind. I didn't want to do any fertility treatments. Then I was OK with an IUI, but IVF was definitely out of the question. And then I was faced with the fact that it was IVF or no biological children of our own and I changed my mind yet again. Be kind to yourself and allow your feelings to evolve. Infertility is definitely not an easy road.

yeah I know I should. But what if these tests all came back normal for me - would they even suggest treatment? I can't even say I'm infertile until we hit the 1 year mark. I have to believe it will happen in 2017.

brij2006 · December 2016

vlagrl35 said:

LillibetteV said:

vlagrl35 said:

@brij2006- I think that be a great idea. I'm open. I was just thinking of stopping the boards I look at regarding pregnancy. It's not good for me to keep most of my focus on it but a weekly check in here would be good.

I woke up early thinking abou t all those tests this month and thinking I'm down the road to infertility. DH let me sleep in thank god. I had a really good November mentally speaking because I let go of it so I need to continue that for my sanity. I'm only getting the HSG this month because of already meeting my deductilbe. This will either happen or it won't and I can't live life like this. I'm use to a postive outlook on life and being happy. So I'm saying screw you to this thing I cannot control - its not going to get me. If we are still trying 6 months from now I will get a puppy instead. But I cannot continue to try after the year mark. I admire those that can.

Yay for puppies!!! And I would just suggest you keep an open mind. I didn't want to do any fertility treatments. Then I was OK with an IUI, but IVF was definitely out of the question. And then I was faced with the fact that it was IVF or no biological children of our own and I changed my mind yet again. Be kind to yourself and allow your feelings to evolve. Infertility is definitely not an easy road.

yeah I know I should. But what if these tests all came back normal for me - would they even suggest treatment? I can't even say I'm infertile until we hit the 1 year mark. I have to believe it will happen in 2017.

They may or may not recommend treatment right away, but they may look at your testing and get a better understanding as to what's going on. Since you have spotting at the end of your cycle, you may test for low progesterone at that point so they may have you try that first before doing something else.
Or they may find you don't have a strong ovulation (this was part of my issue once I did get cycles), so they may prescribe Clomid to help get a stronger ovulation and a more healthy egg to release.
There are a lot of factors that come into play and you really don't know what you're working with until you have the testing done and the doctor can look at the whole picture.

We hadn't even met with the RE yet but she saw from the notes in the paperwork I filled out and the baseline bloodwork from the OB that I responded to Metformin and started to have regular cycles but I had spotting from 7DPO till AF came. So one of her nurses called and since they couldn't get us in for 3 months anyways she recommended I add baby aspirin and B-complex vitamin until then and see if it helps. First cycle with a blend of those plus the Metformin to get me cycles, we got pregnant and were able to cancel our appointment. For us, this time around we just needed that little extra boost. If we hadn't, we probably would have had more chemical pregnancies at this point and I definitely would have continued to have a very hard time mentally with why it wasn't happening.

vlagrl35 · December 2016

That makes sense. I usually start spotting about 11-12 DPO. I hope its something as easy as that - low progesterone. I'm just thankful DH is open and willing to do the SA. I know some men don't want to do that. It will only cost us $90.

LillibetteV · December 2016

vlagrl35 said:

That makes sense. I usually start spotting about 11-12 DPO. I hope its something as easy as that - low progesterone. I'm just thankful DH is open and willing to do the SA. I know some men don't want to do that. It will only cost us $90.

I hope it's something easy for you too! And honestly I think most good husbands are willing to do the SA - if they aren't but claim to want kids then that guy sucks. If I have to do a ton of blood tests, urine tests, HSG, sonohysterogram, pap smears, and all that nonsense and he can't take 5 minutes to jerk off in a cup I'd be PISSED.

We both had issues, but mine were more minor compared to my husband's which necessitated IVF. I always thought it would upset me to do IVF but frankly, at this point I'm just happy to finally be knocked up!

vlagrl35 · December 2016

LillibetteV said:

vlagrl35 said:

That makes sense. I usually start spotting about 11-12 DPO. I hope its something as easy as that - low progesterone. I'm just thankful DH is open and willing to do the SA. I know some men don't want to do that. It will only cost us $90.

I hope it's something easy for you too! And honestly I think most good husbands are willing to do the SA - if they aren't but claim to want kids then that guy sucks. If I have to do a ton of blood tests, urine tests, HSG, sonohysterogram, pap smears, and all that nonsense and he can't take 5 minutes to jerk off in a cup I'd be PISSED.

We both had issues, but mine were more minor compared to my husband's which necessitated IVF. I always thought it would upset me to do IVF but frankly, at this point I'm just happy to finally be knocked up!

oh you are cracking me up! DH joked the other day that I can go with him in the room to help assist - I was like uh I don't think that is allowed. He says they will take one look at his sperm in the cup and know that its great.

LillibetteV · December 2016

@vlagrl35 actually at our clinic it was! I don't know about for just the testing, but I was originally told I could go in before my egg retrieval to help with the sample that would be used to fertilize my eggs lol. You just can't use any lube (including saliva) so it's not really fun from what I'm told. But then I was being changed into a gown and forced to pee 47,000 times (apparently you need a REALLY empty bladder for retrieval day haha), and getting my IV put in and I was like "whatever dude sorry just go get it done I'm focusing on my upcoming surgery right now".

vlagrl35 · December 2016

omg that's funny. I would have never thought. DH was disappointed when I told him I don't think you can use saliva. why is that? because it may kill the sperm? @LillibetteV

bmo88 · December 2016

@brij2006: You were right. My HCG level today was at 6. So while I have to go back tomorrow for one more blood draw, I know it's a chemical pregnancy.

I just feel lost. Sad, yes, but lost. This was our first month of TTC and in the course of 48 hours I felt so much joy, fear, anger and frustration.

The real question now is when to start TTC again. My fertile window should be coming soon and I want to try. But my doctor said to wait 3 cycles...I have read online that it is necessary.....what have others done?

blondie42107 · December 2016

hoffse said:

Still in the TTC process - we haven't been trying for very long yet, but I'm such a planner that it's already bugging me that things aren't happening exactly on my desired schedule.

We haven't gotten too scientific with it - just lots of sexy time. My H admitted to me the other day that he wouldn't mind if it took a bit longer lol.

If nothing happens on the next cycle then I will start the OPK's, charting/temping, etc.

If nothing happens by May then I am going to book a trip to Japan over Thanksgiving 2017 on points. I'm really close to having enough for 2 RT flights in biz to Asia.

Anyway I'm trying to live life and not worry about it.

I had to giggle a little. I'm a planner to - my due dates were 10/1 and 10/11 two years apart. My prior employer only let us carry over one week of vacation so I used zero sick/vacation time all year so that I could take as much time as possible.

Before TTC and while TTC, I used Fertility Friend. You can use the website or the app - great app and super easy to use. Because of charting, I knew exactly when to test. When I called my OB's office and they asked when my last period was, the nurse was reluctant to order blood work but I told her I had been charting and she did sent the lab request over. I was pregnant.

Good luck!

LillibetteV · December 2016

vlagrl35 said:

omg that's funny. I would have never thought. DH was disappointed when I told him I don't think you can use saliva. why is that? because it may kill the sperm? @LillibetteV

I guess so? Not entirely sure but I think it can mess with the results. They want a clean sample.

brij2006 · December 2016

@bmo88 :-( Hugs sweetie.
We tried again that next cycle. I'd say you do what works best for you guys. If you need some time to process, then do that. If you feel okay about going for it, then do that.

For us, we had quite a few CP's and I didn't get normal cycles so we knew our chances were slim as it was.

vlagrl35 · December 2016

I called to schedule his SA and they said they were booked up till Jan! But looking further she was able to find an appt on Dec 13. What I didn't realize is he can't have intercourse 4 days prior. With my HSG I can't have intercourse 2 days prior. So of course I go to my calendar counting the days to see if any of them mess up with my fertile window. Looks like we are in the clear because CD 12 for me is on the 17th. I was wanting to EOD from CD 12-21.

bmo88 · December 2016

@brij2006: Thanks for the response. Were the CPs in a row? Do you think not waiting influenced that?

brij2006 · December 2016

@bmo88 They were not.
The closest together was a CP in March and then we got pregnant with DD in May.
The ones that happened when I had semi-normal cycles, I would have another normal cycle right after it. It seemed like my body just treated it like my period but a little heavier and with some more clots than usual.

bmo88 · December 2016

@brij2006 : Thanks for the response. This was definitely more like a lighter and much shorter period. So I will be curious to see how it affects my cycle overall.

brij2006 · December 2016

@bmo88 Curious. How long did it stay for and how light was AF?
This pregnancy I freaked the F out at the beginning because I bled. A lot. My beta's increased how they were supposed to though, but that was the only way I knew I was still pregnant. Otherwise I thought it was just a light period.

vlagrl35 · December 2016

HSG and SA are both on the 13th - glad to get it all over with lol

bmo88 · December 2016

@brij2006: I bled Monday and Tuesday. It appeared to stop overnight and haven't had really any today (some brown spotting).

TMI: but it never "filled" a pantyliner, but there was a decent amount when I wiped. Normally, AF fills a tampon every few hours. So lighter than normal and definitely shorter (normally it's 4-5 days).

Given I got a positive on a wondfo on Sunday, I know I was above 25 miu, but being down at 6 for the HCG blood test two days later is what the doctor says confirms it's a chemical pregnancy.

brij2006 · December 2016

bmo88 said:

@brij2006: I bled Monday and Tuesday. It appeared to stop overnight and haven't had really any today (some brown spotting).

TMI: but it never "filled" a pantyliner, but there was a decent amount when I wiped. Normally, AF fills a tampon every few hours. So lighter than normal and definitely shorter (normally it's 4-5 days).

Given I got a positive on a wondfo on Sunday, I know I was above 25 miu, but being down at 6 for the HCG blood test two days later is what the doctor says confirms it's a chemical pregnancy.

Yeah that's true. :-(

lbonga1 · December 2016

Hugs to everyone having a hard time with TTC.

I'll be 38 weeks pregnant on Friday. I'm technically due on Christmas Eve, but my OB said he could come any day now with how I'm progressing. After this baby, FI and I are done, but I am considering becoming a surrogate at some point. FI is supportive of that, and I'm going to revisit it once this baby is preschool-age.

vlagrl35 · December 2016

lbonga1 said:

Hugs to everyone having a hard time with TTC.

I'll be 38 weeks pregnant on Friday. I'm technically due on Christmas Eve, but my OB said he could come any day now with how I'm progressing. After this baby, FI and I are done, but I am considering becoming a surrogate at some point. FI is supportive of that, and I'm going to revisit it once this baby is preschool-age.

that's amazing! Do you enjoy being pregnant?

Stephanie2167 · December 2016

I just wanted to sneak in and say good luck and congratulations to all of you who are expecting or TTC.

lbonga1 · December 2016

vlagrl35 said:

lbonga1 said:

Hugs to everyone having a hard time with TTC.

I'll be 38 weeks pregnant on Friday. I'm technically due on Christmas Eve, but my OB said he could come any day now with how I'm progressing. After this baby, FI and I are done, but I am considering becoming a surrogate at some point. FI is supportive of that, and I'm going to revisit it once this baby is preschool-age.

that's amazing! Do you enjoy being pregnant?

I wouldn't say that I particularly enjoy it, but my pregnancies and deliveries have been relatively easy. Mainly I just want to help another couple have their own baby. FI was adopted because his mom had multiple miscarriages and ended up not being able to carry a baby, so I want to help someone in a similar situation.

vlagrl35 · December 2016

lbonga1 said:

vlagrl35 said:

lbonga1 said:

Hugs to everyone having a hard time with TTC.

I'll be 38 weeks pregnant on Friday. I'm technically due on Christmas Eve, but my OB said he could come any day now with how I'm progressing. After this baby, FI and I are done, but I am considering becoming a surrogate at some point. FI is supportive of that, and I'm going to revisit it once this baby is preschool-age.

that's amazing! Do you enjoy being pregnant?

I wouldn't say that I particularly enjoy it, but my pregnancies and deliveries have been relatively easy. Mainly I just want to help another couple have their own baby. FI was adopted because his mom had multiple miscarriages and ended up not being able to carry a baby, so I want to help someone in a similar situation.

That's really thoughtful

FutureMrsMerati · December 2016

Congrats to all the wonderful ladies who are pregnant, and hugs to those of you who are trying! This couldn't have come at a better time.

We were planning to start trying after the holidays this year. As we were talking about it more and more, I looked into which hospital was the best to deliver at in our area and switched to a OBGYN with good reviews and access to that hospital. Upon my consultation/pap, I was discussing with her that we were thinking of starting to conceive fairly soon and while going over my medical history with her, I disclosed my history of having a blood clot - likely from the pill when I was in college - just as I have with all of my other physicians. To my surprise, she was VERY concerned with this and told me that being pregnant makes you more likely to develop a blood clot than when you are on the pill! 2 weeks later, now I'm seeing a hematologist who took 10 vials of blood to test for hereditary or other blood disorders, and have a consultation with a perinatal specialist next week to discuss my pregnancy plan. Even if my test results come back with no blood disorders, I will still be considered a very high risk pregnancy and will need to give myself injections of blood thinner every day of my pregnancy and for weeks after giving birth, starting with the day of positive pregnancy test.

I'm feeling so overwhelmed, and disappointed in all of my past physicians so far who have obviously let me down by never telling me I would be a high risk pregnancy. I'm so grateful to have what seems to be a great team behind me now, and feeling glad that we didn't just say "let's just see what happens!" like many of our friends have, as an unprepared pregnancy would have greatly risked both my life and the baby's.

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