August 2006 Weddings
caden
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
NER fun poll/wedding question
I'm really bored so here's a fun question:
If you had to do your wedding again what's one thing you would for sure change and one thing you would for sure keep the same?
Re: NER fun poll/wedding question
Change: Ugh so many things. I'd give myself an attitude adjustment with my photographer. I got sick of taking pictures really early on and b/c I didn't want to go to different locations my pics are pretty dull.
Same: I hate cake so I did a dessert buffet instead of just wedding cake. I originally didn't want a wedding cake but my ILs freaked out about it so I bought a super tiny one for pics that they ate and the rest of us had good desserts.
I would not have DIY invitations. OMG, the worst decision ever. It just resulted in months of nightmares. The DC girls here who were on the knot at the time can attest to the hell I put myself through. Looking back, I am not really sure why I didn't scrap the whole project.
Other than that, I think I would have kept everything the same. I LOVED my wedding. I thought it was perfect.
I wouldn't have made any cuts to my guest list.
And I would've had a different friend sing and another do the biblical reading instead of having my MOH's pull double-duty. Instead I had both of those friends greet with a 3rd friend. It didn't occur to me until after that they would have been strong at the two tasks I pulled my MOH's to do. Whoops.
Otherwise, perfect.
(I even liked our non-pro photographer...and the low price we paid her).
Change- There would have been a mandatory game of Water Volleyball in the resorts pool afterwards.
Same- All the Champagne served during the ceremony.
I don't think I'd change much... in hindsight, I probably should have registered at Target, because they actually have it in my hometown... Kohl's and Bed Bath & Beyond, they don't. Though, I sincerely doubt it would've convinced many more people to buy us things we registered for.
I definitely would've kept the same photograher, despite his ridiculously high price tag. Over two years later and I'm still in love with our pictures.
I too hated taking pictures. It was 90 degrees, and the rest of my guests were all in the pool, while I was still taking pictures.
Your wedding sounds REALLY fun Meredith!
changes:
-somehow make sure my centerpieces looked better - they looked like pure crap.
-remind mom to bring her "bodyshaper" so she wasn't running around like a freak all morning and and worrying everyone
-remind sis to get her ass in gear so she wasn't occupying my other sister all morning with her fake tanner.
-I would have ran around on the golf course during the reception regardless of if it was allowed or not.
Same: everything else. lots of people kicked ass and were wonderful that day!
I wouldn't have fought so much about having kids. They ended up being really good and basically out of sight.
I'd keep everything else
Especially the action stations and the 7 hour long reception (I originally wanted to cut it shorter)
I would have put my foot down and not allowed my parents to have another faux-wedding the following week in my hometown. That would have stopped the in laws from having a THIRD faux wedding in NM 2 weeks after that.
Getting married for 1 month = bad idea unless you are Indian.
Dessert buffets are the best.
Actually, there is something I would have done differently. I really wanted to serve mini ice cream cones. My caterer said she could do it, but for various reasons, thought I shouldn't. I let her and my husband talk me out of it. How cute would mini ice cream cones being passed around have been? Sigh... I will just have to force them on my future kids.
Great idea on both counts! ice cream is wonderful and forcing my kids to make up for my mistakes is too! haha
I would have invited fewer people I felt obliged to invite and more whom I actually wanted.
I would have worried much less about pleasing my MIL, but that may be something learned with experience!
Everything else was more or less the way I wanted it. I definitely spent far too much time on minor details no one noticed, but no big deal.
My cake was red velvet and white. It had 3 layers - 100 servings, 60 servings, 20 servings. The cake lady, because white is the most popular flavor, wanted to just have the middle layer be red velvet. I said, 'no, let's do the bottom layer in red velvet'. I guess I should have just done the middle layer white, b/c that's all that was left over. The red velvet was a big hit.
Similarly, because I had 2 vegetarian bridesmaids, I asked for their alternative to roast beef to be stuffed mushroom caps (I'm sorry, but fettucini alfredo doesn't go with mashed potatos and green beans, lol). He was skeptical. He checked two or three times to confirm that was what I really wanted. As it turned out, they were a huge hit (non-vegetarians got 2 mushroom caps, the vegetarians got 5 or 6, I think, so everyone had them). The caterer (also the president of the city council in my hometown) remarked about their popularity and his surprise to my dad (whom he knows b/c they run in the same circle).
Moral of the story: sometimes you've just gotta put your foot down.
I agree with whoever said they would cut down the guests list. I wouldn't invite any of those people I didn't want there but felt I had to invite.
Hmmm... well, we added a course to dinner at the last minute because the hotel had a minimum, and we hadn't quite hit it. That ended up making dinner take too long, and cutting into dancing time, so I'd change that. Oh, and hire a different videographer. Mine sucked. Bad.
Literally everything else I would keep the same. It was awesome, and went off without a hitch.?
Change - we would have nixed the public cake cutting and first dance. Everybody was watching us, and we felt like we were supposed to be all cutesy and touchy feely, which we are NOT. I wish I'd worn a less expensive dress with no train. My dress was really simple as it was, but I feel guilty about how much my mom paid for it.
Everything else, particularly the reception at a brewery and the rock show after party, I'd keep the same.
One thing I couldn't control that I wish I could change - I wish I hadn't been sick on my wedding day! I got a cold a few days before, and I had a terrible sore throat. I lost my voice by the end of the night and didn't get it back until the following Wednesday!
Change: I should have made a detailed must-take list with my photographer and be more forceful about him following it. We missed so many things. I should also have forced us to walk around to each table since we did not do a receiving line.
Same: Candy buffet. It was a huge hit!
I would have danced more right after dinner and spent less time fooling around outside with the team tequila shot. I think they were playing old people music inside and we lost a few people. I was shocked when someone told me it was time to cut the cake. After that I got right to dancing.
I also would have searched more for a laid back location instead of the package caterer deal. We were pretty set on January, so moving it outside wouldn't have worked, but I might have found a way to be more hippie and laid back about the whole deal.
Also I would have asked my BM's earlier, in a more meaningful way (nothing schmultzy, just better than "yeah, you're it"), and started looking for dresses earlier so we could find something less expensive.
Overall it was fantastic though, total blast.
ETA: I wouldn't have cut the guest list, except that I would have put my foot down about my dad adding people. Walking on eggshells turned out to be all for naught as I pissed him off royally by not dancing with him or giving him the mic.
I think it's hysterical the number of people who are saying that they would have had a smaller wedding. Ours was tiny - - - 24 including the couple who married us! At the time, I was a little freaked that it was too small, but in the end, it was great.
What I'd change - I'd give my mom an attitude adjustment; she was all wacky!... I think I'd probably have us eat dinner at a restaurant, instead of having it catered; it was beautiful, and the food was great, but it was insanely expensive (we had a beach wedding, and the caterer brought grills out to the beach and grilled stuff on site. Fab, but spendy!).
What I'd keep - pretty much everything else. Loved the small size. Loved the beach location (where were were living at the time, so it was a beach and it was home). Loved that we had friends marry us. Loved that we wrote our own ceremony. Etc, etc. Etc. It's all good!
I am the 99%.
i would have made just one change and hired a videographer.
H and i were dead set against it, thought it was unnecessary, expensive and would be a PITA during the ceremony.
but on our first annivesary a few months ago, we watched the home-made video my stepmother took during the rehearsal dinner, the wedding and part of the reception. it was incredible. watching it, H and i were hysterical one second, in tears the next.
i really wished we had a full video of all whole deal especially the pinnicle of all: my mother, step mother and MIL dancing to "pop, lock and drop it." good gracious! best. moment. ever.
I woudl change my hair and MAYBE my dress. My dress was OK, but looking back, I wish I would have looked a little longer. Did not like my hair, should have worn in down. I woudl maybe have had a different DJ.
That is it. Everything else was perfect for us
Change - I'd have gotten a better photographer, not a bargain one like I got. I also would have danced with my dad. I regret it every time I think about my wedding. I didn't plan a father daughter dance because I couldn't see us doing that. We have a great relationship and I really love my father and enjoy his company, but we're more into laughing over Ben Stiller movies and joking than having tender Butterfly Kisses moments. For some reason, I'm endlessly creeped out by "Daddy's Little Girl" type things. I don't know why. My father is wonderful, and I love him, but we're not like that. Anyway, he blames himself for not asking me to dance all night, which makes me feel even worse. I am sorry I didn't just dance with him in a non "look at me dancing with my dad" moment.
I also would NEVER have registered for fancy china. I love my Kate Spade, but seriously, what a useless thing to have.
I would have gotten a dress with more substantial sleeves so that I didn't wear a nasty looking wrap.
I would have come to the realization that I wanted to change my name before the wedding so that our name cards didn't have different names. The picture of just our name cards is passive aggressively displayed in my IL's home.
I wouldn't have invited anyone from work. I seriously hate one of my co-workers with the fire of a thousand suns now, and I hate that she was at my wedding, eating my free food, drinking my free drinks!
Keep the same - I loved our mashed potato bar and vegetarian buffet. I love that I put my foot down for a vegetarian wedding, and got my parents to understand.
I loved our location and our cake. I loved our flowers even though the florist didn't listen to me completely.
I loved how fun the wedding really was. I wish I'd known it would be fun beforehand!
Change - I would have participated more in the planning. I didn't really want a wedding, my husband did. I told him that the onus of planning was on him. I kind of feel bad about how little I actually did.
Same - our caterer was a.maz.ing. The food at our wedding was the best meal I ever had (except for the ham sandwich I had 2 days after having Sophie... but that's another story)
Great poll!
Change: Hire a better photog; we hired a professional photographer, but she was also a family friend. We hired her for her friendship, not her skills, and that was a big mistake.
Keep the same: Small wedding party, no flower girls. Also I didn't stress over little details.
I just got my wedding video, and I'm really glad to have it although I didn't want to spend the money on it at the time. Isn't it hilarious how people dance after a few drinks? I fully intend to use my sister's dancing to 50 Cent against her in the future. And they say I'm the one in the family with no coordination!
Me too! I find it soooo creepy. I wound up dancing with my dad, my stepdad, and my FIL, but none of it was showy. I picked out a song to dance with dad and stepdad to, but it was thrown in with the rest of the songs.
The other thing I would have changed: no bridesmaids' dresses or groomsmen's tuxes. Our ushers wore dark suits, and they looked fine. The bridesmaids all worse the same color but different styles. Looking back, I would have just told everybody to wear what they wanted. The matchy matchy thing is unnecessarily expensive, and the look is overrated.
I wouldn't change anything else. I loved all of our vendors, and everything pretty much went off without a hitch.