Sex & Romance
224 Ready to Celebrate
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Virgin and a Vibrator
I am getting married in December and will remain a virgin until my wedding night. I was given the advice to use a vibrator in the months before the wedding to make the actual wedding night first time sex more comfortable. Any thoughts on this? Will it help to loosen things up? Any recommendations on a good vibrator?
224 Ready to Celebrate
Re: Virgin and a Vibrator
also try some different lubes out by your self or with ur fi and find one you both really like!! hope this helps and good luck with the wedding!!
a tampon is not used for sexual arousal. there's a difference.
and i guess her original question was if using the vibrator would "loosen things up." i don't think it does. i think it would just get you used to how it feels.
Yes, because obviously the best gift you can give a man is your blood on his sheets the morning after the wedding.
It's been a loooooooong time since I was a virgin, but do "virgins" really think it's ok to give/accept oral sex? It's just the penetration that is oh so sacred?
OMG this is a joke right? Your response is ridiculous, IMO. I tried to think of something pretty witty to say, but admittedly, I am just dumbfounded.
OP, you can us a vibrator for clit stimulation, which will likely lead you to have an orgasm, so at least you'll know what one feels like (though they're hard to miss!). Or you can get one that also acts as a dildo, which is what you actually use on the inside. This is probably what somebody was recommending you do, so that you're used to the feeling of something being in there (though nothing will prepare you for what sex feels like).
If the thought makes you nervous, try using one of your fingers, then maybe two of your fingers. And buy yourself some lube before you go exploring! Enjoy.
I wonder about some of these responses
Those who suggested she would be losing her virginity to a vibrator please humor me and let me know whether you expect men to have not masturbated prior to their wedding day. Or is masturbation ok with a hand just not a vibrator? Masturbation does not equal lost virginity!
Lol on gifting your DH bloody sheets... seriously WTF? And many of us don't have that experience anyway.
You need to get your sarcasm meter/sense of humor checked--one or both is busted
Sorry if this was confusing. I agree with smock.smock. I am wtfing earlier posters.
Fair enough--sorry!
I am also WTFing the contention that a woman loses her virginity if she's penetrated by anything other than a penis AND is sexually aroused. Silly me, I thought you lose your virginity when your vagina meets the peen!
WTF. That is one of the dumbest things I have ever read.
If it helps put things in context, she's an 18 year old girl who's planning to get married in 9 months and has already registered at two different stores. It's a bit odd to register 9 months in advance, isn't it? (psst, Samantha, you also registered for a red toaster at both stores. Maybe you should take one of them off.)
to be honest in my family the tradition is the family register for the bride and groom. so we didn't even know we were registered yet. and as i said in another post our wedding date was pushed back. but leave it to you to bring this up again. my age has nothing to do with this. i was also brought up in a home were kissing someone was considered loosing your virginity. so excuse me for giving my opinion and most gyn. docs. will tell you that a tampon will not make you loose your virginity. as to the bloody sheets i don't no a single man that would get mad at her blood on him after sex. he knows shes a virgin and like a pp said some people do not bleed all that much.
as for the girl who i was talking with i was not trying to be rude at all i used a tampon for years before i lost my virginity. i was ten when i started my period. so im very sorry if you found me rude. i would hate to think i was acting anything like some of these people on here.
I'm sorry for indulging in this (I'm sure) ultimately futile debate, but are you telling me that most gynecologists would tell you that using a dildo is equal to losing your virginity?
Also why is the definition of virginity up to gynecologists?
Can you clarify what you meant by "popped"? It's ok to use a dildo as a virgin unless there is blood?
Getting back to the question at hand by the poster, I have some insight.
I lost my virginity to my now FI, who will be my H in December. Before we had the experience of penetration, there were several of times where we had oral sex and such. By the time we decided that we wanted to have sex, we were comfortable with each other.
I had been masturbating, using a vibrator and fingers, for some time before I met my FI. I had also been using tampons since I started my period at 10. He popped my cherry nonetheless and it hurt, no doubt about it. But, it was completely glorious.
I don't think there's much stretching you can do prior. It does help to have him massage you with one or two lubricated fingers before entering. I don't think using a dildo or vibrator will widen the passage, but maybe just make you more comfortable when the actual experience comes (heck, I was still scared). But no matter what you do, the reality is that it's going to hurt.
Good luck to you!
Two words POCKET ROCKET and a regular vibrator, not only will you be ready but you will be wanting it :-)
If this isn't MUD...I'm going to try to say this nicely. You clearly don't have a full understanding of penetration/hymens/tampons/your anatomy. Check out Taking Charge of Your Fertility...there is lots to learn about your body!
To the OP: My DH and I waited until our wedding night to have intercourse (although we did enjoy lots of fooling around prior). I bought a bullet vibrator, and enjoyed it lots (and still do). It was just a cheap one from an adult video store, but it did the job. I also bought a dildo later on (both because it looked like fun and in hopes I could get comfortable with penetration), but it was painful to insert, so I never really used it. The wedding night wasn't anything spectacular (and we weren't expecting it to be), but it was only minimally painful and a pretty good time over all
.
Really what made sex most enjoyable for us was that we were familiar with each others' bodies and knew what made ourselves (and each other) feel good. If you can at least get comfortable with your own body, I think it will make a big difference for you. Good luck!
Look. Here's the point. Take your email address and your FI's last name out of your account info. It's just not smart to put that much information out about yourself to internet strangers.
I'm not surprised you were brought up to think kissing is taboo. I can't think of many other reasons an 18 year old would be so desperate to get married.
Most of this thread is HI-larious, but this is simply extraordinary. A real gem.
OP, it's the act of sex, or making love if you will, that causes one to "lose" their virginity. Some people consider sex intercourse only, some people consider oral sex as making love, and some people consider tampon usage. It's up to YOU to decide your boundaries. IMO, if you want to explore your body through masturbation (with or without penetration) prior to your wedding night, you'll be a better lover. But using a dildo just to "loosen up" is not likely.
samantha where've you been all my life!?
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/37733597.aspx
Baby season?
Vaginal dryness?
gold, baby!
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!