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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Can we discuss
AND you bothered to read the post! Hooray!
I give you three beers and some cake.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Sorry--I ran out to get lunch.
I didn't read the post before my first response. I read the entire two 3-page posts before my other remarks.
That being said, I didn't mean "precious" the way it seems it came off. I am in no way wishing IF on this woman. I was going to write "ironic," but then decided that word wasn't really what I was looking for. I was trying to say that it would be an interesting turn of fate, in which she might find herself wearing her husband's shoes.
I'm posting here and not there because I do believe that the OP is hurting, and although I believe she is about to make a bad situation far worse through horrible reasoning and jumping to conclusions based on misconceptions, I also believe that she's not interested in considering any opinions other than those that say she's in a tough spot any solution is a crappy one. I can't change her mind, and I have no desire to. So why should I post there, and just be another dissenting voice to a hurting poster, rather than discuss the situation here?
2013 Calendars and More!
At first I read that as 3 bears and some cake.
I did, but the post is so far back that I'm sure she won't see it, and I don't post there enough to feel comfortable starting a new thread about it.
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
Bloggity Blog - You know you want to...
After Cali posted. It wasn't part of your original complaint.
It came off mighty douchey, Captain. It's the only comment that bothered me.
As Ready has taught us, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And I don't mind the discussion at all. In fact, I had considered discussing it but Buddha beat me to it this morning. I should add that I am not 100% certain I got her age right, so don't quote it as gospel.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
If you want to, have at it. ML LOVES new threads to discuss the same topics.
I can see that from these comments. Not what I intended at all. I apologize to anyone thinking that I was saying I would like to see her suffer from IF more personally.
2013 Calendars and More!
I didn't read the thread before responding because there was no link to the thread and who knows how long it would have taken me to find it given the fact that I don't even know who the poster was and have no idea how many pages ago it was posted.
Further, I didn't feel I needed to read the thread to respond to Buddha's very simple question: would you leave your husband because he cannot have kids? My answer is, unequivically, no. I would not leave my husband because of that.
11/11/11 = 5 years. Woah!
A) I read the whole post
C) I don't think that's being rude.
D) what buddha said.
For those of you who think she's in for a rude awakening, what exactly are you referring to? Is it that you think she won't find someone else or what? I'm not critiquing -- just trying to figure out what you guys are saying exactly.
I think there's definitely some young naivete fostering her decision (but I don't know the whole story, so I can only speculate), but I don't think she would have any problem finding someone else to marry and make babies with.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Cali, I think the odds are probably that she would find someone to marry and have kids with, but there are too many variables that could cumble the whole thing.
SHe really doesn't know that she could even bear children is a big one.
She could meet another great guy who can't have kids
SHe could meet an *** that appears great only to have that come out later
Her kid could die
I mean, there are just a lot of what ifs to go forward with.
I posted in the ML thread what I think would be the "rude awakening" Finding the right person is hard, yo. Just because someone will/can make babies with you doesn't mean they will be nice to you, like to do the same things, be a good parent, etc, etc..... Sure she is younf and pretty and all that but I think she thinks it's easier said than done. Not to mention how if she really does love her H as much as she claims, that she would most likely compare every other guy she meets with him and end up really missing him for the first few years.
I think she will miss her H more than she knows because right now all she can think about is infertility.
I suspect it's easier to look back on fondness at dating when you haven't done it since you were 20. In your late twenties, a lot of the good men who want families have already settled down and/or married, so the pool is smaller. Plus, focusing on whether the man will be a good father seems a poor way to choose a mate for you. I'm also imagining hearing from a potential partner, "I loved this person and promised this person forever, except I wanted a baby more and I was unwilling to explore options to have a baby with this person because it wasn't exactly how I envisioned getting what I wanted." I'd judge that person as inflexible, immature, and bad at compromise. None of which I want in a partner.