Trouble in Paradise
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Sexting? How do you forgive and move on?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Sexting? How do you forgive and move on?
I'm just proving the fact that everyone is so surefire ready to spew out their own crap that they didn't pay attention to any of the previous stuff, especially the part about how this thread is 3 months old and the OP is never coming back.
Everyone these days is so quick to say "jsut divorce him". DOn't get me wrong, I would want to beat his ass like the next girl! But I don't think giving up is always the only option. You saw something in him you loved, and you took a vow of forever. That doesn't mean you rollover and become a doormat but it doesn't mean you walk out without a try.
I agree with teh others that it probably was physical. I also agree that you can't fix anything if both partners aren't willing to try. COuples do overcome cheating (the Clintons may be the most well known example) but it takes work. You probably need to see a counsellor on your own as well to figure out why it is you are willing to accep this. He will ALWAYS do whatever he wants (including cheating) if he doesn't think there will be aby consequences.
I would insist on marital counselling and let him know that is the only way you would feel comfortable moving forward. But even before that, I think you should see a counsellor yourself. NOt because you're nuts - quite the contrary! But to help you understand what your'e feeling and why you're feeling it and how you should move forward. We all can tell you do this or do that but we're not in your shoes. A counsellor can help you decide what is best for YOU!
History of IF and 2.5 years TTC. The day we were to start our first IUI we received a call that changed our lives forever and 10 month old Olivia joined our family. Shortly thereafter we got a surprise BFP and baby 2 is due July 5, 2012
:::headdesk:::
I'm sorry that you feel the need to make fun of others and minimize the situations. I'm not condoning other people's behavior. But there are statistics and research:
"And yet, according to the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, approximately 50 percent married women and 60 percent of married men will have an extramarital affair at some time in their marriage. And since it is unlikely that the people having affairs are married to each other in every case, the current statistics on the percentage of married couples who cheat on each other means that someone is having an affair in nearly 80 percent of marriages.These numbers represent a huge jump in the past decade. A University of California study in 1998 reported that 24 percent of men and 14 percent of women had had sex outside their marriages. In only 10 years, those numbers have more than doubled.
So why the big increase? Some people blame the huge percentage of married couples who cheat on each other now on the Internet. And research does seem to support this conclusion. According to Divorce magazine, only 46 percent of men believe that online affairs are adultery and 75 percent of married people believe it's okay to visit an adult site online. "
hahahahahahaha
I haven't read all of the posts, but I have to say I agree with pretty much everybody. This guy is no good for you. Having said that, I know actually going through with divorce is hard, even when you know it's the right thing to do. Trust me, I've been there. In a pretty similar boat as yours, actually.
The ONLY way I could see trying to forgive him is if he groveled and begged for you to take him back. Then he would have to go to counseling both on his own and with you. He would need to quit his job and find another one away from the hooker. And then he would have to be so open and transparent and on such a short leash for quite a while until he learned how to keep his d**k in check.
Honestly, though, I doubt he's gonna change. Sorry to be so negative, but it doesn't look good given what you've told us about him. I know you're crushed, and I feel for you I really do, but you have to be realistic too.
When I was married to my ex, I should have left as soon as there were issues. But I "worked on it" and was pretty miserable and wasted 3 years. On the one hand, I guess I can look back on the situation with a clear conscience and know I did everything I could to try to make it work. But, on the other hand, did I really need to endure it for that long before choosing to leave? Was I just afraid of being alone?
So, take the advice for what it's worth. If you do decide to leave him, be smart. Consult a lawyer before you tell him. Get you s**t in order so you don't get screwed. Also, get tested for STD's. It's humiliating, but necessary. Find a good friend you can confide in - a real one, not a virtual one. You'll need them. Lastly, you'll want to see a therapist of your own. You'll probably be dealing with issues of abandonment and betrayal and wondering how someone who once loved you can just stop like that.
You've got a long road ahead of you, but I promise it's worth it. I speak from experience.
GL
Obviously.
Sounds like my d-bag ex husband. The fact is, if he's "sexting" he's probably actually had sex with her already and that hurts. Him saying raunchy things to this woman that he has never said to you means that he's probably acted out scenarios sexually with her that he hasn't with you.
SEX is SEX. Whether in word or the act. He cheated. I personally would kick his ass to the curb and tell him to have a nice life. You can eventually forgive him (if you want and believe in that sort of thing) but you certainly don't have to take him back.
Hahahaha I have never loved you more.
I'm back SCC- we can continue the picture postings!!
For the love of GOD- this is not The Bump!!!
Try to keep up!!!!!