Trouble in Paradise
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Sexting? How do you forgive and move on?

145791015

Re: Sexting? How do you forgive and move on?

  • Ok.... I have been on the other end of the spectrum. Same exact situation , but I was the one sexting with my boss at work. I wasn't do it because I didn't want my husband. I was doing it because I was being selfish and I was missing something. Question- are you a Christian? I ask this because this is the only reason why I changed. God. That and I didn't want to break up my family. I realized how stupid I was being. When my husband found out- I quit my job and I did everything to gain his trust back. We are happy now and it brought us closer actually. It was very hard work but my husband laid down the law and I followed it. You should lay down the law. Make him quit his job. There are other jobs out there. Your marriage and trust is more important. Change his number, gain access to his phone records. If he won't do this- he won't be faithful. EVER. Good luck and God Bless you guys.
  • I am sorry to hear that you had to go through this. Your husband was/is wrong and I hope you believe that it is NOT your fault. He chose to do those things. On the other hand I feel that the advice that you have been getting so far is "easier said than done". People are telling you to up and leave your husband as if he was just your boyfriend or someone that you're dating. You have to do what you need to do for yourself. Do you deserve better.. YES, Will it be hard to forgive..YES, will it be hard to move on YES!!!!! Most of the other women that responded makes divorce sound like second nature- it's not and it should never be. Good luck with whatever you decide. And remember you are the one that has to live with him..We don't! So at the end of the day you need to decide!
  • image

    Motherfuuckin sink frog says READ SHIIT BEFORE YOU POST.

    image.
  • imageCrabbyGrabAzz:
    imageViolet_McPurpleson:

    If he's not willing to work on it in the way you need, then you don't.

    Why would you want to be married to someone like this?

    This exactly.  You deserve better.

     

    Honestly why waste your time? If he doesn't want to fix your marriage then forget him! Honestly, you two shouldn't be having these problems so early on!

  • I'm all for trying to work things out in a marriage to try and keep it together.  It all depends on how easily you can forgive and forget, so this is all up to you.  HOWEVER, I have two questions:

     1.)  Can you ever forget this?  Anytime he is running late or wants to go out with his friends, will you automatically think he's cheating, and then get into a huge fight when he comes home?  Once a relationship has been ruined by somethng like this, there is no going back.  You will always and forever think he's doing something sinister.  This isn't your fault; it's his, because he broke your trust.

     2.)  If you think you can never forget this... waste no time and start your life over with someone you can trust completely.  Those men are out there; I know;  I'm very fortunate to be married to one.  I trust him 100%.  Things weren't always like that in previous relationships I'd had.  I've been cheated on before, and then finally decided that I'd rather be alone than deal with heartbreak and drama everyday for the rest of my life.  That's when I found Mr. Right, and you can too, you've just got to give him a chance to find you.

     As women we tend to hang situations over our men's heads... if you stay with him you'll "dig up these bones" over and over again, so if he thinks counseling isn't necessary, then it's not necessary for you to keep the relationship together.

  • Goodness Gracious!!!

    I know how you feel. I'm going through a similar situation.... It's really hard to forgive and forget something like that, especially if he is still working with that person. You'll never really know if he is doing it again. You'll always have that doubt, and trust me its not easy trusting again. Honestly, I don't think you can trust that person again.  I would so make him get another job!!! With the same work hours!

    Also, he has shown you be refusing to go to counciling that he's not committed to making it work between the two of you. But if you'd really like to get over the doubts, have him go through a lie detector test. I know it sounds a little extreme, but thats the only way you'll know for sure if he cheated. It actually doesn't cost that much.

    I hope everything turns out for the best!!! And let us know how everything turns up. Good luck!

  • imageSweetCuppinCakes:

    image

    Motherfuuckin sink frog says READ SHIIT BEFORE YOU POST.

    This has tears streaming down my face at work.  Hi-f*cking-larious.

    image
    Judging
  • I've been in the same situation... Here's my advice.

    It takes a LONG time to forgive a year or more to truly forgive and give him trust again.... but it can happen if you are willing to forgive. However, make this a statement to him...

    If you EVER talk to a girl behind my back, see a girl behind my back, or talk to a girl innappropriately, I WILL leave you, this is your absolute last chance.

    If he does screw up again, this is very important, DON'T confront him, the best thing you can do is just call a few friends over and have them help you either...

    1) pack up all of your stuff and leave with the kids, or 2) pack up all of his crap and put it in the front yard, change all the locks on the doors and garage doors, so that when he gets home he can take his crap and leave make sure you have someone there with you when you do this just for safely reasons.

    The following day or the same day, immediately call a lawyer and file for divorce. Just make sure you do this immediately and keep proof of any evidence you have of his cheating, and other problems, etc...

    However, that is the worst case scenerio, the bright side is that you can work it out, even without counseling. Try to get off his case about the counseling, unless that is a condition you just can't let go.

    But if he really wants to work on the relationship he will agree to it. Tell him, if he doesn't go to counseling, then you want a divorce, if he really loves you, then he'll go, if he doesn't, then at least you'll be able to move on with your life.

    Regardless, I wish you the best.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageSweetCuppinCakes:
    image

    How did you get a pic of my co-icker?

    image
    Time to put on your big girl panties

    I've got your rainbows and ponies right here
    image
  • I'm stalking you Oos.
    image.
  • imageSweetCuppinCakes:
    I'm stalking you Oos.

    Cool I hope you have a Mr. Pickles for me.

    image
    Time to put on your big girl panties

    I've got your rainbows and ponies right here
    image
  • Bahaha

    What am I, the Mr. Pickle fairy?

    image.
  • *knock knock knock* Attention nimron newbs you do realize this post is from July and the OP has NEVER come back to this post so it's probably MUD. Just saying you might want to pay better attention.

    Before I leave this clusterfuuck of fun I just want to say

    ANY OF YOU IDJITS THAT THINK THIS BEHAVIOR IS ALRIGHT YOU ARE FUUCKING WHACK JOB NUT CASE DOORMATS. YOU HEIFERS NEED TO GROW SOME FUCCKING BALLS AND SELF-ESTEEM, DTMFA SO YOU CAN MOVE ON TO BETTER PASTURES

    That is all you may return to your regularly scheduled broadcast.

    image
    Time to put on your big girl panties

    I've got your rainbows and ponies right here
    image
  • imageSweetCuppinCakes:

    Bahaha

    What am I, the Mr. Pickle fairy?

    Yes you are and the picture I have in my head of what you would look like dressed up as the Mr Pickle fairy has me LMAO.

    image
    Time to put on your big girl panties

    I've got your rainbows and ponies right here
    image
  • Is the three-day waiting period still on hiatus? A lot of the posts from people advocating working it out have a very similar writing style (read: they're repeated almost verbatim and demonstrate a poor grasp of grammar).
  • imagerenegade gaucho:
    Is the three-day waiting period still on hiatus? A lot of the posts from people advocating working it out have a very similar writing style (read: they're repeated almost verbatim and demonstrate a poor grasp of grammar).

     

    Nope, no waiting period. 

     

    image.
  • image

     

    image
    Time to put on your big girl panties

    I've got your rainbows and ponies right here
    image
  • image

     

    image
    Time to put on your big girl panties

    I've got your rainbows and ponies right here
    image
  • If I was in the same position with my husband I would be looking for a divorce lawyer.
  • Because it was in the email sent out to everyone. The Bump clearly wants it to be a hot topic again.  And so what if new people join in?
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards