Trouble in Paradise
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Sexting? How do you forgive and move on?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Sexting? How do you forgive and move on?
::raises hand::
I have another question!
Why the eff do people not read the posts they comment on or any other posts in the thread?
This thread is 3 MONTHS OLD! I get that it was sent in an email, but it's not difficult to figure out that it was written in July and the OP never came back. Not to mention, we've all been saying this since this morning when this thread was resurrected, yet people continue to post.
Go waste your utterly ridiculous advice in another thread on another board. Please.
Ok, this will be my last comment on this post. My intent was not to get into a debate over whether or not divorce is right or wrong. My intent was to give advice to someone that obviously wants to make her marriage work, otherwise she would not have bothered taking him back, nor would she have taken the time to post on this site. I myself look at marriage only from the biblical stand point, which is the only way that I, myself, can continue to have such a wonderful marriage. From what I understand, as far as she knows, nothing physical ever happened, therefore I don't consider that cheating. The bible states that God hates divorce. (Malachi 2:16) Marriage was intended to be permanent. The bible also states that the only "out" to a marriage, i.e. divorce that God allows, is that of SEXUAL immorality, two becoming one in flesh. (Matthew 19:9) So to answer your question, no, leaving a man that cheated on you is not wrong, but based on what the bible says is cheating and what the wife said he did, cheating did not occur. We all have freedom of will and no matter what we have done with that freedom, we will all stand alone in the judgement of God. Everyone else can think what they want and do what they want, but as for me, I take my vows seriously because they are vows I made not only to my husband, but to God. I don't know what your beliefs are, and honestly, that is none of my business. But these are my beliefs and they have never failed me yet. Thus I have a very happy marriage and a happy life and I just wanted to share with her how I got them.
Thank God this is your last post.
He was sexting a coworker and sneaking around to see her while the OP was at work. You don't actually have to see his penis going into the coworker's vagina to figure out there was "sexual immorality."
Crushed,
I'm gonna go ahead and tell you straight up move one you may think your husband has only been sexting but it has gone further than that trust me I know this story all to well and even though it has stopped if he still works with her he still has ties to her and he could have gotten smart enough to start erasing his sexts! Your husband sounds like a real *** hole who came crawling back to you b/c he got tired of staying at hotels or with other people! My experience in this is that guys like that don't change and you will be better off alone!! Plus there will always be worry in your mind and life is to short for that if you need any other advice let me know! It may hurt to know you had to break up your family or maybe b/c you still love him but you will find someone else and you will be happy again! Goodluck Sweet Cakes!!
You are a very good example why I dislike most "christians".
Time to put on your big girl panties
I've got your rainbows and ponies right here
Did you read her post about how the bible says it's not cheating if there's no penetration? ROFL
It's true. Jebus doesn't care about tickle the pickle.
All these God says post is just killing me and I just had to say it. It's all a bunch of fuucking brainwash bullshiit. They don't have the brain cells to question it.
Time to put on your big girl panties
I've got your rainbows and ponies right here
At the moment? That's a lot of fvcking going on right now.
As ONE other person put (at leat of the few that I read) I am in agreement. I am 100% positive that I would try to work it out, and forgive. I am 100% against divorce UNLESS it is abusive!
My husband has lied to me, over and over, never about another women just about things he does. And I forgive over and over, and yes that means sometimes I don't believe what he says to me, but I believe it is worth fighting for. You married this person for a reason, marriage is a binding contract. When you get married you should lock the door and throw away the key (this is my opinion & also a verse from the song we danced to at our wedding)! I am also in complete agreement with the book advice, 5 Love Languages is an AMAZING read, for ANY marriage, especially a struggling one. No matter what you are struggling about. You can also just google that, and it does give you descriptions of each love language, if you don't want to purchase/read a book. This is definitely one of the first ways to start, because you can figure out HOW he needs to be loved, which you maybe weren't doing before. I also suggest showing/telling him what your love language is so HE can love you the way you need! All that said, sorry it was so long, but I hope you try your hardest to forgive! (You don't NEED to forget, it hurt you, that's okay to remember!) Good luck! 
Are we seriously going to do this for another day? Bring it on retards, I've got 9 hours to slog through and this is just the perfect fodder.
I'm sorry that you have such low self-esteem that you put up with a man who constantly disrespects you. So if you found out your husband was cheating on you with 3 other women, or with a man, you would be 100% against divorce? You'd just forgive him and move on?
If you don't trust your husband because he constantly violates your trust, you're probably married to a douche.
So your love language is lying and deceit?
Congrats, you married a selfish douche! But hey, at least you get to stay with him forever even if you are very *alone* the whole time! It sounds like your marriage should be very fulfilling for you both. Here is hoping you don't find your self esteem along the way as that would *really* get in the way.
This one is even on topic!
If he was sexting, I'm pretty sure he was probably doing the real thing...especially if he was "sneaking around to hang out with her alone". If they go to the trouble of texting about sex, why wouldnt they do the real thing if they were alone? Makes sense, huh? I'm not trying to be harsh, just truthful. I am currently going through a divorce for pretty much the same stupid sh** from my soon to be ex-husband. However, I put up with it for FOUR years, and we have two children. Much harder to have nothing to do with him when we have kids together. Make it easy on yourself, and just kick him out NOW...before it gets out of hand.
My husband would do the same thing. I would kick him out, and a couple weeks later he would apologize and beg to come back. Stupid me would take him back...but no more! I can't believe it took me almost 4 years to have enough, but I finally did.
And just because the sexting has stopped, doesn't mean that other things arent going on as well. Maybe he is just hiding it better this time, since he knows you are onto him. Enough is enough, hun. Kick him out, and move on. You deserve better!