Family Matters
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Did your ILs change??
Mine was the opposite-- she was fine until SHE got engaged and married and treated me awefully for two years until I married her brother. Then after my wedding she 180-ed again and now wants to be friends. During the time that she was being terrible toward me it was like she felt I was stepping on her place in the family and she was the princess bride- I was just a girlfriend. Then once I married in, she got that I wan't going anywhere and we'd either be enemies or friends.
OMG! My in laws changed DURING the wedding process and now 3 weeks after getting married I see what they REALLY are. They are good people but they are meddling, busy bodies that need to be involved in every aspect of everyone's life and I do not deal well with that. So needless to say, we are already bumping heads. I need to put of my filter and just let it roll off my back sometimes or we are going to have issues.
I think it's just part of joining a new family-you have to find your place.
I just don't get it why hate or like someone and then b/c your family changes go all crazy or be all nice. I would never trust her if I was you, atleast you already know how awful she can be!!
Believe it or not, my ILs changed from heinous to okay right before we got married. The first time I met them, they gave what can only be described as the "Spanish Inquisition". All 20 of them (kids included) around a table with DH and I at one end, PIL at the other. I'm not easily intimidated, but I certainly was at that meal! They all went around the table, each asking me a question, from my religious and political views to if I had a dog...talk about scary. All of the questions were directed to me and not DH...
Then DH was sick and his family came to town to be here. (we live 8 hours away) I wasn't "allowed" to be around to help take care of him, nevermind that he is old enough to take care of himself (he's been divorced once and has kids), until they need something from me. After providing what DH needed, I told MIL that I wasn't going anywhere and she'd just have to learn to live with it. We didn't see them again until the weekend of our wedding (we didn't even know if they would show up at all). I almost didn't invite any of his family!
Since the wedding, the ILs have been nothing but great. I assume that this has something to do more with the fact that I'm not the crazy hippie DIL or the workaholic DIL than the fact that MIL actually loves me, but hey, as long as we have mutual respect, I'm totally ok with being the middle of the road DIL.
My MIL did! While we were dating I was very close to her since she had all boys. We dated 5 years before getting engaged and through those years I felt like I gained another wonderful mother. I went to college in the city that she lived in so I saw her all the time and talked on the phone lots.
Then once we got?engaged?everything changed. She started being passive aggressive with her comments and I tried to push them off. But they became more frequent and worse. I hoped that it would all change after we got married so i didn't really say anything. Now that we are married she is even worse. She says that I stole her son and that I?ruined?her life. These comments have been made numerous times and are said jokingly but I know she has a seriousness behind it. Maybe it is because it is her oldest son and the other boys don't have serious women in their lives but it is really frustrating. It is so strange that she changed so much in just one year.?