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Am I outta line? I don't think so.
My H and I married in Dec. of last yr. while my BIL was deployed. He was the only one of my H family to know that we were getting married. Both are twins and in the Marines. It drives me insane that they do the same things! We got word that my BIL is planning on getting married NEXT MONTH. Am I outta line to be really angry at this?
Also, it angers me bc my BIL ruined our surprise to his family. He called the MIL and told her and she then told the grandparents. My H spoke to my mother about this first, so we were in the clear and preparing things. My BIL made himself to be innocent when we spoke about it, claiming that "it wasn't a big deal" and that I'm over reacting.
Seeing as WE got married in that month first. I feel that just bc they are twins does not mean that they MUST to do everything the same!
I've decided that I will not be attending bc I wouldn't feel comfortable. In my opinion, this is the best choice.
Although, my H is the bestman and my MIL, second BIL and my H grandparents will be attending. I have a feeling that if I don't show, they will hate me. Lol. I could care less. It shouldn't be a big deal if I don't show, its their wedding!
Feedback would be nice. Thank you ladies.
Note: I am not jealous. I've asked myself many times and I can clearly be happy for him and his fiance. They are having a gorgeous wedding, way better than mine (bc I'm simple) and I wish them the best of luck, I honestly do.
Re: Am I outta line? I don't think so.
MUD.
They can't get married in the entire month of December because you did? You were going to have a 'surprise wedding'? And BIL blew it?
And a year later you are so angry that 1- He would get married in the same month as you and 2- that he told people you were getting married, - that you can't attend his wedding.
Really? This is the hill you're willing to die on?
Sorry, but you are out of line. I really don't understand what you're so upset about. You are already married, you had your day. You don't get to claim the month you got married in for all of eternity. Many other people get married in December. Also, did it ever occur to you that the reason you BIL is getting married in December has nothing to do with you and you H and has some special meaning to them, or was just when they wanted to do it/worked best for them as a couple?
You will be doing permanent damage to your relationship with your ILs if you don't go to this wedding. I could understand if BIL had done something horrible to you that you wouldn't feel comfortable at his wedding, but you have described no such event. You will be putting your DH in a very awkward position and that is what should matter to you, especially since this is over such a petty issue.
You say you're not jealous, but then why are you so angry? If you are happy for them, then why would you not want to be there with your husband to celebrate this special day for his family?
Also you need to let go of the fact the your BIL ruined the surprise, it is way over and done with. Being mad at him now about it is just juvenile.
I'm not trying to be harsh, but I really think you need to take a bit more of a step back and look at your behavior and attitude and grow up.
You are insane. Who skips a wedding because someone gets married in the same month that they did?
Twins usually have a very close bond, much different than normal siblings. If you keep this up, I would not be surprised if your marriage ends fairly soon.
The purpose of this was to see what others thought. I thank you all very much for your feedback and I do see what you all are saying. I will give this more thought and maybe I am just blinding myself.
I probably still wont attend, seeing as my H is flying there but we'll see.
Thanks again! It was very much appreciated!
Please continue to post your thoughts!
He should not have told the family.... but if you didn't want the family to know you should have just kept it to yourself.
As far as being mad about when they chose to get married, you are being really self centered. And like previous posters have stated you need to get over yourself. And if you don't go to their wedding you will look like the BeeBee that you sound like.
Sara, Friend?
glove slap. I don't take crap.
You're so far out of line, the line's not even visible.
Let me ask you this. If your sister or best friend set a December wedding date, would you be this pissy as well?
My feedback is that you are being ridiculous about BIL getting married during the same month as you.
I can understand you being upset that he told your DH's family about your wedding before the two of you had a chance to but that has NOTHING to do with you stomping your feet like a two year old and not going to his wedding because it's in the same MONTH as yours. Get over it. Seriously.
Your question was retorical and sarcastic but I'll answer it anyways.
If someone close to me were to get married in the month of Dec., yes I would be upset. I won't lie about it. I don't know how else to answer this.
It was wrong for your BIL to tell the family your news before you had had the chance to tell them yourselves.
On the rest of this though - you are way out of line. You need to get over it.
Again, I'm calling MUD.
(And that's being nice, by the way. I'd rather assume this is MUD than assume you really are that BSC. If you really are this BSC, you need help, and quickly.)
I am trying to understand, I am. That's why I posted this!
Reading what others have to say on this isn't as easy as I thought it would be.
Ladies, I'm just trying to get some advice (like growing up and getting over myself.)
I am not trying to pick fights and if you are so angered by me, please know that you can block me, ignore me, and not read my post in the future.
Thanks again.
I'm not surprised to read that you are 20, though I had guessed 19 reading your post. I really hope this is MUD.
It's childish, selfish, immature, ridiculous etc. to think that you get to claim the entire month of December. Should we move Christmas & Hanukkah as well?
Yes, your BIL was wrong to tell his family, but as a PP has said, if you really wanted it to be a secret you would have kept it between the two of you.
How does your H feel about your attitude towards his brother?
Ditto. If you weren't okay with his close relationship with his brother than you shouldn't have married him.
Do you really only have 11 people you are close to? Or are only 11 of them allowed to get married? Does Dec free up for someone else if you get divorced?
since there's only 12 months in the year we all have to share them.
have you been drinking ths morning or is it that you really don't have anything else to spend you time and energy doing but getting angry that someone else is getting married the same month you did?
yes-you do make me angry. it makes me angry that people can be as absolutely petty and silly as you're being-skipping a family member's wedding becuase they're getting married in the same month you did?! REALLY?! if you're this overly dramatic and irritating about anything then I dont think they'll miss you very much.
you must be REALLY insecure. one of my best friends got married this year, the day before my 1st anniversary. and i was nothing but thrilled....celebrating someone else's new marriage AND mine was great!!
you are selfish. and a brat.
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You ladies are exhausting.
Divorce is an option for everyone. As is attending a wedding.
So many of you are ready to point fingers at a person. As I have said before, this was intented to hear what other people have to say. Everyone will have an opinion. Thanks for what you ALL had to say. I didn't realize I was being selfish, self-centered, or what have you. I do understand that by not attending this wedding I am possibly ruining many relationships with my newly added family. It shouldn't but if it does, so be it.
I am one person. If I do or don't attend will ultimiltly be my choice and my choice alone.
My anniversary is Dec. 7th and now I'm upset that you chose to get married the same month as me.
I'd like to share a story with you: I was planning my wedding in 2002. We were at DH's (then fiance) friend's house. The wife asked questions about the wedding. When I told her about my plans, I found out we had some similarities: she was married in December and we had similar wedding colors.
Do you know this dumb cow pouted and said that I was COPYING off of her? She sounded as lame as you do. It was all coincidental and had nothing to do with her.
Your wedding is over, December is not your month or mine for that matter. You're acting like a spoiled bratty child.
This. You really need to get over it, yes he told them all your surprise but then you should have keep it to yourself. Their wedding has nothing to do with you, its their day. Get over it.
Yeah, we're exhausting
Again, what does your H think about this? Are you happily married? Because if you are, then I really can't fathom your 'so be it' attitude toward ruining your relationship with your In-Laws.
Do you honestly not see how this affects him too and even if you don't want to take the (good) advice of Internet strangers you need to consider his thoughts & feelings? If you are always this self-centered I really feel bad for him & see divorce becoming a real option for him sooner than later.