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PLEASE HELP - where to live????

Hi - I'm so glad that I just discovered a "locals" board because I could really use your help!  My husband and I have a huge issue in our marriage....it's where we live.  I'm from South of the city and he's from North of the city.  We will never agree with where to live.  Right now we live in Foxboro in a gorgeous home (you could get a lot more for your money here) and his commute in to Cambridge has become unbearable.  I'm a stay at home mom and living the next town over from where I grew up and where my family still resides....so of course I'm happy, but my husband's commute is making him miserable and we need to do something about it.  Any suggestions as to where we could start looking to move?  We were thinking something along Route 2, but I think we'll need to majorly downgrade to get into a Wayland, Weston, Concord, etc....  PLEASE give me some options/advice this is becoming a strain on our marriage b/c my DH is miserable living here!

 

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Re: PLEASE HELP - where to live????

  • Sorry you're having a rough time.  That is quite a commute.  Have you considered towns like Needham, Dedham, Watertown, Waltham, Arlington? 
    I'd rather be rock climbing or playing volleyball
    imageimage
  • imageRock-n-Voll:
    Sorry you're having a rough time.  That is quite a commute.  Have you considered towns like Needham, Dedham, Watertown, Waltham, Arlington? 

    Today it took him almost 2.5 hours to get to work!  In terms of his commute, those towns would be great.  But I think they may be a little too cityish for us.  We are used to being in the suburbs and like having a 3 car garage (but that we could always add), 1+ acres with no neighbors in your backyard.  Not sure if you can find that in Needham, Newton, Wellesley?  And I should add...we dont have a million dollars to spend!  Can you get that in Wayland, Weston, and other towns in that area for like $750K?  It's tough to tell right now because not much is on the market.

  • I live in your area (DH and I actually lived in Foxboro before we were married). What about Norwood? Westwood is closer to the city than Foxboro, and has a great school system, but you won't be able to have as much land or space there.

    I loved Foxboro, and would move back there in a heartbeat, especially since we could get much more house for our money there, but DH hates being far from Westwood.

    My guess is that even both those towns are too far out for you. Unfortunately, you're not going to find what you have now in the area you want.

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  • what if you moved further west?  If you lived right along the pike, the commute shouldn't be nearly as bad as having to deal with the north/south commute. you could look into places like natick, framingham, hopkinton, westborough, etc.

    the further away from the city you move, obviously, the more you'll get for your money.


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  • imagenlm0905:

    imageRock-n-Voll:
    Sorry you're having a rough time.  That is quite a commute.  Have you considered towns like Needham, Dedham, Watertown, Waltham, Arlington? 

    Today it took him almost 2.5 hours to get to work!  In terms of his commute, those towns would be great.  But I think they may be a little too cityish for us.  We are used to being in the suburbs and like having a 3 car garage (but that we could always add), 1+ acres with no neighbors in your backyard.  Not sure if you can find that in Needham, Newton, Wellesley?  And I should add...we dont have a million dollars to spend!  Can you get that in Wayland, Weston, and other towns in that area for like $750K?  It's tough to tell right now because not much is on the market.

    Um, those are suburbs Smile  It sounds like what you really want is something closer to a rural type of setting.  You're definitely not going to get all the things you listed in Wellesley, Newton, or Weston at that price point.  I don't know too much about prices in the other towns.

    I think you're going to have to start getting used to the idea of compromising. 

    ETA: Maybe look at Sudbury?

    I'd rather be rock climbing or playing volleyball
    imageimage
  • The commute along Rt.2 north of 95 is no picnic either. I drive from almost 495 to Alewife every day and that part alone during the school year takes 45-50 minutes.

    I would try Lexington and Lincoln if you want a yard but not a (overly) long commute. But even as "far" north as Concord mixes in with a lot of traffic. They are pricey towns though.

    I would start looking at what your money will get you in towns along the 95 belt.

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  • Thanks for the tip about Sudbury.  I dont know much about it, but will definitely look into it!  West of the city could also be an option for us, maybe Southboro?
  • imagenlm0905:
    West of the city could also be an option for us, maybe Southboro?

    That would still be a long commute. Google maps says about 40-45 from Southborough to Cambridge and that doesn't take into consideration all the traffic.

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  • imageMrsC968:

    imagenlm0905:
    West of the city could also be an option for us, maybe Southboro?

    That would still be a long commute. Google maps says about 40-45 from Southborough to Cambridge and that doesn't take into consideration all the traffic.

    Okay...scratch Southborough!  I just Google mapped it and saw the same thing. Ughh, this is so hard! 

    Anyone know much about Sudbury as a town?  I've never been, but will take a road trip some weekend when it isnt so darn cold!  Does anyone do the Sudbury to Cambridge commute?

  • imagenlm0905:

    Anyone know much about Sudbury as a town?  I've never been, but will take a road trip some weekend when it isnt so darn cold!  Does anyone do the Sudbury to Cambridge commute?

    It's an expensive town. There is a regional HS with Lincoln. But similar to Lexington, Lincoln, Concord: some older/historic buildings, many new homes comig into the area, most houses have yards, etc.

    The commute won't be great, but probably less than mine (which takes on average an hour and 15 mintues during the school year). But it kinda depends on what area of town your coming from, which major route your near, and which way you go in (i.e. Rt.20, or 95 to Rt.2). Rt.2 goes right through Lincoln and Lexington so the commute from those 2 towns would be shorter.

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  • We live in Canton and I can totally relate to the commute, my DH used to take the train into South Station and it was really easy, but the drive was a pain.

    I have friends in Hopkinton that love it, the commute will still be a pain though.. Burlington could be an option as well. I don't think you'll get everything you descibe on your list, but you can get some at least

    We started our search out in Western MA, and our realtor made a point that the commuter rail parking lots were packed by 7 am, and an 1+commute wasn't a real picnic on the train either. Wakefield, Melrose are options as well.

    I don't think that it should be a struggle on "I'm from here and want to live here" that you should live where is best for your family. I'm sure you don't enjoy having a husband that is miserable after his commute. GL

     

    image The way life should be-
  • All I know about Sudbury is that it has an excellent school system (Lincoln-Sudbury High School is top-notch).  I've driven through the area before and it's quaint, though I'm not sure you'll get everything you're looking for. 

    I'd rather be rock climbing or playing volleyball
    imageimage
  • I'm worried that the areas that make the most sense for our family will be unattainable.  Has anyone built their home?  I'm wondering if it would be possible to buy a 300K fixer-upper on a great lot and either knock it down, or add and renovate.  Has anyone had experience with this?
  • imagenlm0905:
    I'm worried that the areas that make the most sense for our family will be unattainable.  Has anyone built their home?  I'm wondering if it would be possible to buy a 300K fixer-upper on a great lot and either knock it down, or add and renovate.  Has anyone had experience with this?

    Like I said, you're going to have to compromise.  "Makes the most sense" doesn't mean getting everything you want on your wish list at the price you want, it means makes the most sense given all the various factors--location, land, house size, commute time, price, etc. 

    I'd rather be rock climbing or playing volleyball
    imageimage
  • Unfortunately, everyone wants to live close to their job, and lots of people work in the city, so living closer to Boston means getting less land or house for your money.  Is it possible for your DH to work from home a few days a week?  Or shift his hours to avoid traffic?  That might help him to reduce his commuting hours every week and still allow your family to stay in an area where you can afford the home you want.
  • Someone said Sudbury....try Hudson....rural, nice, interesting...DH's family is from there....and houses are going for like 290ish for a moderate home.....<3 keep looking you'll find something...what about south shore....rockland?

     unfortunately like pp have said.....land isnt available as readily as you would like...even marlboro had some cute houses its like exit 25 on 495 right with hudson but its on the eastern side of 495belt and there are lots of backroads to get there....has he tried backroads from foxboro?

     good luck....i know this discussion well....we had it before picking our apt <3

    Ashley & Jeremy 10/10/10

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    11440622
  • imageRock-n-Voll:

    imagenlm0905:
    I'm worried that the areas that make the most sense for our family will be unattainable.  Has anyone built their home?  I'm wondering if it would be possible to buy a 300K fixer-upper on a great lot and either knock it down, or add and renovate.  Has anyone had experience with this?

    Like I said, you're going to have to compromise.  "Makes the most sense" doesn't mean getting everything you want on your wish list at the price you want, it means makes the most sense given all the various factors--location, land, house size, commute time, price, etc. 

    This. And a bad commute can burn out someone FAST. DH has the commute and we live where it's easiest for him to get to and from work. I'd rather have him home easily and quickly than anything else. But that is just me.  I think you need t think about your DH here.

  • "I think you need t think about your DH here."

    I AM THINKING ABOUT DH.  This is why we are putting our house on the market and I'm researching towns that are best for HIM.  That wish list I have....IS HIS!  Living in the house we have now and in the town we are in now is perfect for ME, but not US....that's why we are moving.  I am so grateful to be a stay at home mom, I will do anything to make sure my husband is happy and wont burn out. 

    My goodness!  This is why I stay away from these boards.  They always seem to turn into telling me what my problem is.  All I was looking for were some suggestions for towns that have a better commute into Cambridge than Foxboro.  And mentioning that I was from the South and he was from the North was just to give some background info. and to see if there was a "perfect" town that could be a happy medium.



  • imagenlm0905:
    I'm worried that the areas that make the most sense for our family will be unattainable.  Has anyone built their home?  I'm wondering if it would be possible to buy a 300K fixer-upper on a great lot and either knock it down, or add and renovate.  Has anyone had experience with this?

     I just want to know what DH does where 300k is a "fixer upper" and you could afford to then build a house on top of what you knocked down?

    Ashley & Jeremy 10/10/10

    Getting fit for IVF! :) (add another 20lbs and you have my total weight lost! :) )

    11440622
  • imagenlm0905:
    "I think you need t think about your DH here."

    I AM THINKING ABOUT DH.  This is why we are putting our house on the market and I'm researching towns that are best for HIM.  That wish list I have....IS HIS!  Living in the house we have now and in the town we are in now is perfect for ME, but not US....that's why we are moving.  I am so grateful to be a stay at home mom, I will do anything to make sure my husband is happy and wont burn out. 

    My goodness!  This is why I stay away from these boards.  They always seem to turn into telling me what my problem is.  All I was looking for were some suggestions for towns that have a better commute into Cambridge than Foxboro.  And mentioning that I was from the South and he was from the North was just to give some background info. and to see if there was a "perfect" town that could be a happy medium.



     I dont think anyone meant to offend you, I think its just that they wanted to make sure that you're keeping things in perspective. i honestly didnt get that it was DH's wish list to still retain from it from your op....sorry that the reaction wasnt what you were looking for. and good luck in your house search.

    Ashley & Jeremy 10/10/10

    Getting fit for IVF! :) (add another 20lbs and you have my total weight lost! :) )

    11440622
  • imagenlm0905:

    My goodness!  This is why I stay away from these boards.  They always seem to turn into telling me what my problem is.

    If you're getting all bent out of shape because of what Punky said then yes, you shouldn't be on the boards. She wasn't trying to be mean, and I don't think her comment was mean. From what you said originally it did sound like you didn't want to move and he did so he wouldn't have such a long commute.

    Big girl panties time.

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  • Whoa, no need to get all upset. YOU are the one giving the list here, and based on all of our collective experiences in the area, the consensus seems to be that you're not going to find something that is everything you're looking for.

    You got the suggestions you were looking for, and rejected all of them. Your perfect town doesn't seem to exist, so you'll probably have to compromise on more than location (meaning your house and land) based on your H's needs.

    I think everyone here was really nice, and no one said you have a problem. I'm sorry you didn't find the answer you were looking for, but there's no need to say "this is why I stay away from these boards" after we've all tried to be nice and helpful.
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  • I'm glad the other ladies have already chimed in.  I'm not trying to gang up on you, but the way you worded things made it sound like that was your wish list.  Now you've explained that it isn't, but that's how it came across. 

    I also don't think anyone was being mean to you; tone is hard to convey online.  You can take our advice for what it's worth, but just because there isn't a perfect answer for your question, don't take suggestions or constructive criticism to = Mean Girls.

    I'd rather be rock climbing or playing volleyball
    imageimage
  • My apologies if I overreacted.  I misread your tone and comment.  Thank you for your suggestions.
  • imagenlm0905:
    My apologies if I overreacted.  I misread your tone and comment.  Thank you for your suggestions.

    It's all good, and best of luck in your search.

    I'd rather be rock climbing or playing volleyball
    imageimage
  • Like I said before, I think it would help you a lot to start seeing what places go for in some the towns around 95 (near Rt.2) and go from there.
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  • imageRock-n-Voll:

    imagenlm0905:
    I'm worried that the areas that make the most sense for our family will be unattainable.  Has anyone built their home?  I'm wondering if it would be possible to buy a 300K fixer-upper on a great lot and either knock it down, or add and renovate.  Has anyone had experience with this?

    Like I said, you're going to have to compromise.  "Makes the most sense" doesn't mean getting everything you want on your wish list at the price you want, it means makes the most sense given all the various factors--location, land, house size, commute time, price, etc. 

    Totally agree. You're going to have to compromise. Make a list of what you want in a house, then narrow that list down to what things are "must haves" and "would like to have". That way you can look for houses that meet your must haves but maybe only a few of your would like to haves. But also be realistic with your must haves.

    Side note: I live in Norton. My DH grew up in Foxboro and teaches in Foxboro. We spend a lot of time there. It's a great town!

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  • West Medford, Belmont, Arlington all have areas that could offer more land and the $750-800 range might get you in, in those areas. SO works in Southboro and we live in the South End. My only concern about Southboro would be the commute time. Yes, it takes SO about 40 mins to get out of the city in the morning... but getting into the city is tough! I would say you're easily looking at 90 mins... (still better than 2.5 hours!)

    Danvers and Lynnfield are great areas as well. I work in that area and the commute is a bit shorter, but again... I have the reverse commute. (Kind of one of the reasons SO live in the South End... it's half way between our jobs.) 

     

  • There is a train station at Porter Square in Cambridge with an adjacent T stop.  You may want to check MBTA.com to find out which trains stop at Porter Square.  A 1 hour train commute is easier than a 1 hour driving commute.
  • Sudbury is a good suggestion, also Natick or Wayland..you might have to downsize a bit but you could get a nice house in your budget with a garage in those areas. And yes a fixer/tear down would be a good option depending on how ambitious you are. I've done this and actually enjoy it but it's not for everyone. If you want more advice, I work in real estate in the area and I'd be happy to talk to you. Good luck with your decision!
    www.torykeithrealestate.com
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