Rhode Island Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: moms ...
My husband and I split duties when we are home together. We each get the girls ready in the morning before my mom picks them up to go to daycare. Usually we each take one girl to get ready. I pick the girls up at daycare afterwork because I am out earlier and I am with them until he gets home. We have dinner together and then we split the duties of giving them a bath/getting them in jammie and cleaning up the kitchen and dining room after dinner. We switch all the time and each do bath time about 50% of the time. At bedtime, we do family storytime and then we each take one girl to bed and then switch and go to the other girl's room for their bedtime routine. Neither one of us has "off-duty" hours, we are always on duty when the kids are involved... I actually don't know if it would be possible to be off duty with our kids unless we locked ourself in a soundproof room!
On weekends or non-work days, we take turns sleeping in and getting up with the girls. (Luckily the girls like to sleep too!) We do NOT have a set schedule about who gets to sleep in. We just take turns on an as needed basis. If I have to go anywhere, Paul has no problem staying with the girls. They are his kids just as much as they are mine. He doesn't care how long I am gone. The worst problem he has is that sometimes my mom will come by and steal the kids for awhile because she and my dad want to hang out with them. Paul actually gets sad that he isn't playing with them, he isn't excited that he has time alone or they are gone. He doesn't usually take them out alone because my car has the carseats and if they are alone, it is usually because I am gone. It is also extremely rare for one of us to go out alone, especially without the kids. We just like being with them and they are used to doing pretty much everything with us.
My husband has been an amazing father. He spends all the time possible with the girls, playing games, even letting them paint his nails. He doesn't consider it "babysitting" like some father's do (this is a pet peeve of mine... why is it babysitting to stay with the father and not the mother?). It is nice that so many people that see them interacting together talk about what a good father he is. After reading a lot of other posts, I see how lucky the girls and I are.
I wrote this last night but TN ate it and I didn't feel like rewriting it. Let's try again ...
This post has been really interesting to me. DH and I don't have kids yet but we're getting close.
I'm curious if any of you discussed this with your DH beforehand? I realize things can change but DH and I have multiple times.
I read Alicia's post and to be honest I'm worried I'll be the one who isn't around enough. You rarely hear about it from the women's side. I just got a job as a Vice Principal (which pushed back TTC) and for example, last night I left the house at 8:00 and didn't come home until 8:30.
we did. but since having kids things have changed. where we live, jobs, what we like to and want to do, and on and on...
there are a few of dhs collegues that are women and its the same in reverse. the dh is in charge of doctors visits with sick kids, bet times, and diaper changes, getting dinner and making lunches- drop off at school, attending play dates, etc.
it can work. there is always a way. i just think there has to be some kind of balance.
I am in a completely different situation than most....my DH is a stay at home dad...he absolutely loves it. He is the best!!! I am so grateful for him. He will even still get them ready for bed even at night after being with them all day...my job is pretty stressful and I don't have a regular schedule so I am not always home at the same time everyday. If the kids are awake when I leave in the morning I will get them a little something to eat...usually if they are awake it is usually because I am running late!!! But I will get Reid up and changed and in the high chair and give him a little breakfast...cheerios, bananas fruit etc...but Joel will get up not long after because he knows I have to leave.
I am constantly feeling guilty because I don't have as much time with them as I wish I could have...I literally see them for maybe 1-2hrs a day if that...SUCKS...but my job pays the bills so that is what it is for now. I do get to spend time with them all day on the weekends...but Joel still is with us.
I think unfortunately for him it is probably more 75/25 not by my choice :-(