Trouble in Paradise
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Advice needed on serious issue
Listen to me very closely. Your SS has a serious mental health issue. He needs to be evaluated ASAP. He WILL hurt someone some day. Dont let that happen. Anyone with any background in child psych would agree with me based on your description. Please please please do whatever it takes to get him professional help.
If it were me, I'd move out. There is no way I'd ever let him near my baby. EVER. Some may say this is an overrecation. I dont think so. Just sayin.
ETA: I'd never attmept to diagnose this mess online due to legal issues, but I'll say that I think Captian's assessment on the previous page is on the right track. Google it. You will find a checklist at radkids.org.
Let me reiterate. Please please please get out to protect your baby. your baby will get hurt and you might never know it. infants can't speak or stick up for themselves. This kid needs help now. Have your ss's school help you find resources if you need help.
This is one of those situations where adoption might really be the best decision available for the baby.
....
Is this a joke?
By not leaving... like NOW... you are subjecting your newborn daughter to harm that will forever change the course of her life.
If you document everything... hell, you need to set up cameras and EVERYTHING, there is no way the courts will let your husband take the baby unsupervised.
I'm still calling MUD, Obviously I can't pull up any of OP's original posts but here's a response to a DD, by East Coast Bride to a TIJerina April of 2010. Granted the screen name is slightly different but what are the odds of this being someone else??? Please pay attention to the underlined part. She mentions no 3 year old SS in her post today, and I would also be concerned for him if he truly exists. And odds are the older SS would be exhibiting some of the same abusive tendencies to this smaller brother as he would to the animals....
Are you kidding me, TIJerina?
A DD already? Well- I'm still going to say what I was writing in your post:
While I used my experience as an example, you can't compare your experience to his. Especially because you were NINE. I didn't act out towards my stepmother - I was just upset that my dad was marrying someone who wasn't my mom.
The kid is TWO. Two. You're really expecting a 2 year old to deal w/ this situation as you did - at 7 years older, and actually in an ENTIRELY different situation?
I strongly strongly strongly suggest doing some research into this and perhaps talking to a professional. You're showing an extreme lack of understanding or patience about this child and what if he doesn't "Grow out of it" quick enough for you?
"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~Benjamin Franklin
1. You should have left like yesterday (if this is real)
2. If this is MUD, you are one sick b!tch to sit and think of all this very disturbing stuff, and YOU need counseling.
Coming in here very very lae on this one...
The youngster needs an intervention and an evaluation --- by a mental health professional and also by a physician. Something isn't right here.
He may be autism spectrum, may have Aperger's or some other developmental/emotional issue. Tearing up a floor is not normal behavior. Neither is abusing animals or people.
IF you choose to stay with your H....
Retain an attorney -- speak to him about the biomom problems -- also contact the child study team in his district --- get the input from those professionals.
You are expecting another youngster and I'd hate to see some type of incident. Time is of the essence here. GL.
This exactly.
Please do somehing about it now - like I said, start with your H's attorney and the child study team. This child needs an intervention and evaluation STAT.
1- Nanny cam SS room when he is at his mom's house. Nanny cam right above the cage. Nanny cam any area that you think SS will do things that will get him in trouble. Then record it. Hand over the evidence to your attorney and then move out. That should be enough to help you in obtaining some sort of visitation agreement that keeps SS away from your DD and *hopefully* you can get SS some help.
2- No one wants to hear that there child might have been abused and/or have a mental disorder. Your DH may just be in denial.
3- Please continue therapy. You knew there were issues like this with SS prior to getting married. You said yourself you are always trying to save people. If you do not evaluate the way and find a way to break the cycle getting SS out of your DD's life will only be a temporary fix. Soon you will feel the need to save again and you will again be putting yourself and your DD at risk. I quite enjoy helping others and doing what I can to help animals so I volunteer as much as I can. Maybe this could be a good outlet for you as well? Just don't bring anyone home.
if there is anything at all I could help you with or if you need someone- my email is littleedbeale at gmail.com
I read your older posts on another board and I am really concerned and terrified for you and your baby.
please don't allow anyone to blame you for this situation- you are feeling trapped for a good reason- I would consider staying so I could protect my kid if I thought there was any chance that leaving would rsult in her being subject to visitation with these monsters without supervision- that is cripplingly scary.
let me know if I can help or if you need to talk.
***I am not saying you should stay- I just mean I can understand why it is something you're hesitant to do. I think you should leave. But I understand wanting to do it in the best way you can- so as not to lose your child even for a day of the week to this nightmare.
This is excellent advice. If he is living in the home you and your baby should not be there.
Considering that your H is in horrific denial about his son and that his son has a world of problems, I am wondering why you married this guy in the first place.
Did you think these problems would magically vanish once you said I Do? A ring on a guy's finger isn't going to turn him into a concerned dad who made sure his son is under the care of a mental health professional and in intervention.
You are also in danger; so is your unborn child. The kid needs help, your H needs a boot in the ass and you need to get out. Retain an attorney immediately. It's likely you can get a civil annulment.
If you choose to stay with t his guy, it's whistling in the dark, to say the least. What a mess this whole situation is.
Tarpon, if you don't understand autism or Asperger's, don't talk out your arse. He might have chicken pox, too, but it couldn't be considered a cause for his behavior. Comments like yours only serve to stigmatize learning disorders and people with autism or Aspergers.
And, shut the f up about whether or not she should have married him. She did, it's done. Why do you always insist on shaming women about their unwise decisions to marry? It certainly doesn't make any of your other advise more palatable.
2013 Calendars and More!
This! IF any of this was true, it all went out the window with her therapists reaction. He has a fudiciary duty to protect and if not and something happens he would be charged with criminal neglect. I'm sorry but I just don't believe any of this. Flame away.
I'm with you.
Just google her name. She lied about having herpes (they're initially white sores - not red as she claimed), she changes the age of her step-son and on other posts she has said the baby is 4 weeks old.
Now maybe she's changing information here to try and be anonymous, but I smell bullshit. I think she's the sociopath, not the phantom SS.
dont say that over on RE, they'll want to shove you into a wood chipper....
I think you need to report the child and tell them what you've told us. He needs to be in a hospital or he probably won't have any chance at a normal life.
Killing and torturing animals is one of the signals a serial killer shows...usually in youth.
Really, I think your DH has the problem here. He shouldn't be defending this little terror...it makes me think your DH is unstable as well.
Run for the hills.
? BFP #1 "SPECK" - 11/7/2012 ? M/C - 12/8/2012 @ 7W6D ?
? BFP #2 "SPAWNER" - 3/2/2013 ? EDD: 11/13/13 ?
BFP CHART
It seems like a lot of the concerns she has now, she had last year too.... if this isn't MUD get out while you still can!
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a24447213/do_you_think_this_is_proper_discipine
this has been reposted on almost every borad on the knot and the nest. I have't checked the bump yet.
I have no idea what to think. Bob ssys it's not MUD although I initially thought it was. She has a pretty good BS dectector as well.
I think I'll just have to hope that it's mud because such a child actually existing scares the sh!t out of me.
WTMF?
NO.
I swear to god almost as upsetting as the OP is reading some people's reactions. "He learned it from an R rated movie!!!" "He may be autistic!"
Is this the mother fvcking 1700s? Have I magically teleported back in time where it's this common to find that people are this god damn ignorant?
Are you serious???
Oh, well, clearly that makes it true then.
Please. We have someone on 24+ who has been posting about a kid she made up for 2 years. People on here have posted through whole pregnancies that didn't happen. Lost twins that never existed.
Posting about it doesn't make it true.
I think all or most of us are hoping this is MUD.
The truth is, it's just.. not impossible. And on the off chance it isn't MUD, I think a lot of us don't want the OP to feel ran off the board. Most of us just want her and her baby to be safe (if she is real) and it's more important to address that then to call shenanigans. More is at stake, if that makes sense.
Are you serious???
QFT.
And LOL @ Lorifalce trying to "school" me on Bump/Nest/Knot fvckery.
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
I went to a conference on this yesterday, there are very recent studies showing that when a kid experiences trauma it affects how their brain is wired. Starting as soon as they are born.
Based on what she typed it definitely sounds like this kid was abused but really, I don't think it will ever improve and he can ever be fixed.
OP needs to leave immediately and get a lawyer. I would make sure my cats and my baby were NEVER near that child.