International Nesties
dulcemariamar1
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Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Poll: Did you have an open bar at your wedding?
Did you have an open bar at your wedding? Have you ever gone to a wedding where you had to pay? What do you think of a cash bar?
Re: Poll: Did you have an open bar at your wedding?
Yes we had an open bar.
I went to a dry wedding once, it was an over all crap wedding not just that issue.
Other then that every other wedding has been open bar. I don't think you should pay for someone else's wedding. You wouldn't be asked to chip in for the CP so why would you have to provide your own drinks?
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We had an "open bar". Reception was at a restaurant and we covered the entire food/drinks tab.
The only cash bar I have ever been to was H's nieces here in Australia. I didn't have a feeling one way or another until I found out that 1) the drinks were free for the bridal party and 2) everything was cash (water, tea, coffee, and the sodas were $5 AUD for a can of Coke?!)
I bought a bottle of water and just kept it filled from the drinking fountain all night.
Yes, we had an open bar. I think it's best to do an open bar of some sort if you can afford it. Even if you just offer beer and wine or just wine. Another good thing to do is to offer 1 or 2 signature drinks and then let the rest be a cash bar.
If you are going to do a cash bar, I think it is best to inform guests before so they can bring cash with them.
We did. It was one of my main concerns when it came to budget - good music, open bar and transportation between hotels and ceremony/reception. I figure most guests were coming from OOT and we wanted to make things as easy and enjoyable as possible for them.
I've never been to a cash bar wedding, I've been to beer and wine bar weddings though, and I"m fine with that. I try not to judge, but I think the bride and groom are throwing the party and they shouldn't make guests pay. You don't have to have a big open bar but you should provide something for your guests. There are ways to manage your budget to make it happen.
Now jumping domestically.
Well that was a crazy couple of years.
We did an open bar and I wouldn't have done it any other way. I think cash bars a little crass, but I prefer them to a dry wedding. I agree with PP that it is best to somehow spread the news via word of mouth beforehand if you are doing a cash bar though b/c not everyone is going to have cash on hand at a wedding.
This actually goes along with another pet peeve of mine- dollar dances. I don't personally care for them, but am not going to judge someone who has one so long as they don't go sending their bridal party table to table to pressure people into participating. Yes, this actually happened to us at a wedding. It was super awkward because, again, we did not have any money with us. That and the dollar dance lasted like 6 songs so it felt like between that and the special bride-groom-parent-bridal party dances we spent half of the reception watching other people dance.
We had an open bar, and I'm not even sure it was an option with our venue - it was just included in the per head fee they charged.
I have been to cash bar weddings before, and I think to some extent it's regional custom. Where I grew up in Canada I think it's kind of the norm. At my BFF's wedding they provided homemade wine on the dinner tables, and the rest was cash bar. I didn't think anything of it at the time.
Cecilia arrived 12 October 2012
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We had an open bar. I've never been to a cash bar and in my circles it is not common.
I think at the very least beer and wine and a signature drink.
We had beer, wine and a couple of signature coktails at our wedding to cut down on costs. People were happy with the selections we had.
IMHO, cash bars are tacky. I would never make my guests pay for their drinks, there are so many other ways to cut down on alcohol costs.
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Definitely had an open bar - was more important to me than the dress (Vera Wang second hand, sold it straight after on eBay too!). Drinks, great music, great food. They were my priorities. I did things like make my own wedding cake and invitations / order of service so that open bar was in my budget. We had a lot of big drinkers at ours so we didn't put bottles of wine on the table, we put magnums of the stuff on.
I have been to a couple of cash bar weddings as they are more common in the UK I think. I guess it's just what people prioritise as important to them. I won't knock anyone for having a cash bar, but it wasn't for me.
Never heard of a dollar dance - not in my culture. Comes across as money grabby but I might be missing the point entirely.
We did not have an open bar. H refused to pay for it, and then his parents paid for a good portion of our reception and they don't like alcohol at all so... there you are. BUT, we couldn't have a dry wedding as we had the reception at a restaurant. So I guess you could call it a cash bar?
The thing that was annoying to us was, there was no deal on the alcohol-- we had to pay per drink, at the same price as the bar. Considering that my step-father will have 4 glasses of wine and 3 Johnny Walkers during dinner we figured it would be better to just forego that whole thing.
Wedding stuff.
I think the nest ate my post.
We had an open bar. I've been to weddings with cash bars and it never really bothered me.
The strangest experience I had was a wedding where the drinks were free after a certain point in the night. There were no alcoholic drinks before then except champaign when you entered and beer for the first hour. You couldn't buy it if you wanted it. During the meal (which was quite long) there were just non-alcoholic drinks. When the alcohol started, there was only one bartender (there were several prior to this). 200 or so people. And the bartender used a shotglass to measure EVERYTHING! So, let's say it was a whiskey and coke, he'd pour a shot in the shot glass then into the glass, and then a shot of coke, then another shot of coke.. until the glass was full.
We just had beer, wine, and champagne. We figured most people could go without hard liquor for a night. It was more important to me to have a good band.
I'm not a fan of cash bars at all, but to me it's better than no bar. Dry weddings are for the birds.
No, we had the dreaded cash bar, because I'm tacky that way. In my neck of the woods, cash bars are acceptable, and I passed it around word of mouth.
Haven't had a wedding yet, but I would have an open bar or elope.
I do find cash bars extremely tacky. The only reason I could be okay with not paying for alcohol would be if no alcohol was served at all. (One of my best friends had a morning wedding and said that if people couldn't come to her wedding sober, they might as well stay home. That was cool with me. The only other weddings I know of where there hasn't been any alcohol have been with people who don't drink or serve alcohol for religious reasons. Also fine.)
All those weddings did have open bars with other festive and special drinks though. It was very obvious that it wasn't a money-saver.
That said, I can honestly say that I if someone wouldn't pay for my drinks at their wedding, I would probably send my regrets and not go. No matter who they are. You want me at your wedding, that's great, I can take time out of my schedule for you, I'll even buy you a present, but I'm definitely not paying for my own drinks. To me it'd be like inviting people over to dinner at my house and asking them to bring their own food because I'll only make enough for myself.
Fortunately I've never been in the situation where I was invited to a cash bar wedding, as it's really not done here/in Italy/in the circles I hang with in the US.
EDIT: I'm fine with open bars that only serve a small selection of beverages though. The only issue I have is things being available, but having to pay for it as a guest.
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What I'm looking forward to in 2012:
Eating our way through (northern) Italy on vacation
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home DWe're having an open bar until 8:30.
I've had two friends have cash bar weddings. One was at a gorgeous New England inn and they had a strict budget. I'm really surprised to see a lot of responses on this thread saying cash bars are tacky and/or rude. I guess the weddings I've been to that have had cash bars have all been younger friends (early 20s) paying for their own (no parental help) weddings. I understand, and am ok with that.
Mrs. Bini10:
I think that the place where I had the wedding was offering free alcohol for Friday night or Sunday afternoon weddings. They also threw in the DJ for free. If it wasnt free then I would have just paid for beer and wine.
But almost all of my budget went for the food.
I guess my feeling is that as a guest to a wedding you shouldn't be expected to pay for anything. It isn't that I have to drink to enjoy a wedding, it is the mere fact that it is a celebration you are inviting people to attend. Often guests travel from far away, pay for the gifts, buy a new outfit, pay for a babysitter, whatever, and getting there and then having to buy your own drinks just screams cheap and tacky to me. But to each his own, I think I have only been to one like this and I was too young to drink!
If non alcoholic drinks are provided though, why do they need to pay for alcoholic drinks as well? Why do the guests have to have alcoholic drinks? I don't drink (only do so at some work functions) so obviously my thought process on this is probably different/weird. I just don't understand why an alocholic drink has to be provided at a wedding and when provided has to be paid for.