I should be offended, right?

ChavayJakov · October 2011

No, I don't think if it is long standing tradition and dealing with extended family that one should be offended if they aren't coming to a graduation for an adult. I can see from the other point of view how you'd like it to happen, but I think being offended and labeling it as not caring is too much. Having those individuals who are more intimate in their relationship with you (that'd be your close family and your FI who will become close vs extended family by marriage) are about as good as it gets.

-auntie- · October 2011

You're entitled to feel what ever you feel. I can appreciate disappointment over their regrets concerning the party which conflicts with a long standing tradition. But to be offended? Not cool.

In many families a high school graduation is a family celebration as it marks the end of childhood, an undergrad degree is a personal rite of passage and advanced/professional degrees depend on the mood of the recipient. In December it's likely only to be a diploma ceremony anyway and dinner could be scheduled to be convenient for your guests.

When I walked, my mother flew up from FL to attend; I attended my mother's graduation when I was 12. My niece joined us for a fancy dinner; I managed to attend her high school and masters ceremonies and bought dinner but missed her BS though, again, I bought dinner. DH flew out for another's nieces graduation from the USAFA but I couldn't make it. My DH didn't attend either of his graduation ceremonies, he graduated in January and didn't take a day off in May for his BS, and was awarded his PhD in September and didn't take a day off for the hooding in May. He was offered a MS after 2 years in his grad program but didn't bother to fill out the paperwork.

kjewell · October 2011

The only people that came to graduation were MY parents, my siblings, and my FI (now husband). None of his family came.

If it bothers you so much that they can't make the dinner, why don't you have graduation dinner on another night when they can make it. It's their family Christmas, it's not like they just aren't coming because they don't want to.

tayylor65 · October 2011

I wouldn't be offended, personally. While it's a huge accomplishment to graduate from anything, his family may not see it as a huge deal. It's a ceremony-they've been to many-and it sounds like they have this family thing every year so it's hard to cancel on. They probably figure your FI and all of your family/friends will be there and you'll hardly miss them. Plus, did you ever actually invite them?? They may not even think they're included with limited space issues and all.

Maybride2 · October 2011

I didn't even attend my own graduations - undergrad or grad. I would have never expected my family - let alone my inlaws - to sit through those, even if they didn't have a schedule conflict. I most certainly would never expect others to forgo their holiday tradition to come sit through a couple hours of boring speeches just to see me walk across a stage.

In short - your immaturity is showing. Get a grip before you make the entire family dislike you and consider you a child.

EML2011 · October 2011

Get over it. This will be the least of your problems going forward. Enjoy your day with your FI and whoever else shows up.

katarczyna · October 2011

My own parents didn't come to my graduation. This is not a big deal.

I should be offended, right?

Re: I should be offended, right?

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