Starting Over
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

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speaking of "bad" guys

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Re: speaking of "bad" guys

  • imageMuddled:
    imageAirIsRunningOut:

    I guess I should be a cocaine and Rx pill addicted "bisexual" then, but guess what, I'm not. People change. I know from experience because I'm not the person I used to be, because if I didn't change, I would have OD'ed by now. I'm 6 years clean and not sleeping with everything that moves, but then again I am a trainwreck and the star of this thread because you all know you want to assess my life and get all judgey and eye rolley. I will never play the victim because I am not a victim. I made my own life choices and chose the path that I am on. So what, I'm fvcked up. In my own way, it works for me because I feel happy for the first time in YEARS. I will never fall into the category of having a "normal healthy relationship" or life for that matter. My therapist probably laughs at me when I leave his office, and I'm okay with that because most people think I'm not right. Who am I trying to impress? No one. I'm honest about my life and myself because it's who I am and I could only be me, no one else.

    Why do you put "bisexual" and "normal healthy relationship" in quotes?

    It leads me to believe that you don't think either one actually exists. Hm.

    Because in my life, they don't exist. To others sure, but not to me. I'm not bisexual. I never was. I like men. Have I been with women? Sure. Do I find them sexually attractive? No. Normal healthy relationship is all my therapist talks to me about, and from what he describes it as, I've never had one nor will I ever have one. To be honest, it sounds incredibly boring, to me. Eh to each.

    Aye karramba.
  • imageAirIsRunningOut:
    imageMuddled:
    imageAirIsRunningOut:

    I guess I should be a cocaine and Rx pill addicted "bisexual" then, but guess what, I'm not. People change. I know from experience because I'm not the person I used to be, because if I didn't change, I would have OD'ed by now. I'm 6 years clean and not sleeping with everything that moves, but then again I am a trainwreck and the star of this thread because you all know you want to assess my life and get all judgey and eye rolley. I will never play the victim because I am not a victim. I made my own life choices and chose the path that I am on. So what, I'm fvcked up. In my own way, it works for me because I feel happy for the first time in YEARS. I will never fall into the category of having a "normal healthy relationship" or life for that matter. My therapist probably laughs at me when I leave his office, and I'm okay with that because most people think I'm not right. Who am I trying to impress? No one. I'm honest about my life and myself because it's who I am and I could only be me, no one else.

    Why do you put "bisexual" and "normal healthy relationship" in quotes?

    It leads me to believe that you don't think either one actually exists. Hm.

    Because in my life, they don't exist. To others sure, but not to me. I'm not bisexual. I never was. I like men. Have I been with women? Sure. Do I find them sexually attractive? No. Normal healthy relationship is all my therapist talks to me about, and from what he describes it as, I've never had one nor will I ever have one. To be honest, it sounds incredibly boring, to me. Eh to each.

     

    Honestly, you are worrying me.  Most of your posts worry me, and it's getting worse.  I'm not bringing this up to be a diick, but aren't you the poster who was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder?  If so, I remember asking who made that diagnosis.  I don't believe you answered me.  I really, truly, hope it was a psychiatrist (as opposed to a general practitioner), and that you are continuing to see him or her for medication monitoring, in addition to the work you're doing with your therapist.  

    Also, the way in which you speak about your therapist indicated to me that you two may not be the best match.  From the way you portray the relationship, you think your therapist is laughing at.judging you, and you seem to be taking his or her viewpoints as stodgy and having trouble relating to them.  If that's the case, this isn't an actually therapeutic relationship.  Perhaps you should find someone else, with whom you're more comfortable and feel better understood.

    So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

  • I married (and divorced) a "bad boy."  I do not believe they change.  You do seem like you are a fixer, and I was too.  I went to therapy and realized that I was always falling for the "wounded duck" and wanting to "help" and be the woman who turned his life around.  Truth is, that doesn't happen.  If a man is going to change, it will not be for or even with a woman.  I'm very conscious now of the men that I date because that is not a mistake I will be making again.  All bad boys do is drag you down with them.  I really hope things work out differently for you, but sadly, I don't have a lot of faith that that will happen, based on your description of him and on how your relationship has proceeded thus far.  Best of luck.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Another question that comes to mind, Air, is why if everything was in his past (fifteen years ago) does he not have custody of any sort?  How old is his child?  When was the last time he saw him/her?

    My ex didn't see our son for a year due to his drug use but he's slowly coming back in with more and more involvement and supervised visits.  I would imagine that if he kept up his consistent behavior and avoided drugs for fifteen years he would be able to obtain some sort of custody in that time.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Next time any of you ask why ML criticizes people here, I'm going to remind you of this thread.
    image
  • imageAirIsRunningOut:
    imageMuddled:
    imageAirIsRunningOut:

    I guess I should be a cocaine and Rx pill addicted "bisexual" then, but guess what, I'm not. People change. I know from experience because I'm not the person I used to be, because if I didn't change, I would have OD'ed by now. I'm 6 years clean and not sleeping with everything that moves, but then again I am a trainwreck and the star of this thread because you all know you want to assess my life and get all judgey and eye rolley. I will never play the victim because I am not a victim. I made my own life choices and chose the path that I am on. So what, I'm fvcked up. In my own way, it works for me because I feel happy for the first time in YEARS. I will never fall into the category of having a "normal healthy relationship" or life for that matter. My therapist probably laughs at me when I leave his office, and I'm okay with that because most people think I'm not right. Who am I trying to impress? No one. I'm honest about my life and myself because it's who I am and I could only be me, no one else.

    Why do you put "bisexual" and "normal healthy relationship" in quotes?

    It leads me to believe that you don't think either one actually exists. Hm.

    Because in my life, they don't exist. To others sure, but not to me. I'm not bisexual. I never was. I like men. Have I been with women? Sure. Do I find them sexually attractive? No. Normal healthy relationship is all my therapist talks to me about, and from what he describes it as, I've never had one nor will I ever have one. To be honest, it sounds incredibly boring, to me. Eh to each.

    What do you consider to be a good relationship? What has to happen in order for a relationship to be exciting and not boring?

    I agree with everything that muddled said. You should listen to her. -ESDReturns
  • imageGhostofZeldaFitzgerald:

    Honestly, you are worrying me.  Most of your posts worry me, and it's getting worse.  I'm not bringing this up to be a diick, but aren't you the poster who was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder?  If so, I remember asking who made that diagnosis.  I don't believe you answered me.  I really, truly, hope it was a psychiatrist (as opposed to a general practitioner), and that you are continuing to see him or her for medication monitoring, in addition to the work you're doing with your therapist.  

    Also, the way in which you speak about your therapist indicated to me that you two may not be the best match.  From the way you portray the relationship, you think your therapist is laughing at.judging you, and you seem to be taking his or her viewpoints as stodgy and having trouble relating to them.  If that's the case, this isn't an actually therapeutic relationship.  Perhaps you should find someone else, with whom you're more comfortable and feel better understood.

    I am seeing a psychiatrist in addition to my psychologist. My meds are monitored and I've actually been feeling much better lately. Not crying, not sad, and happily functioning. My psychologist has some good insight but, you're right. I do not feel that we are a good fit. I've cut back to going every other week because I'm having trouble swallowing half of the things he says to me, but then again, it could just be me. I don't know.

    Aye karramba.
  • imageReturnOfKuus:
    Next time any of you ask why ML criticizes people here, I'm going to remind you of this thread.

    Hey now, don't let one spoil the bunch.  Otherwise I'm going to start holding all of ML accountable for Evee.

    This is my siggy.
  • imageBowiesInSpace:

    imageReturnOfKuus:
    Next time any of you ask why ML criticizes people here, I'm going to remind you of this thread.

    Hey now, don't let one spoil the bunch.  Otherwise I'm going to start holding all of ML accountable for Evee.

    Her and Veronatits.  They created those monsters, and continue to feed them.

    image
  • imageAirIsRunningOut:
    imageGhostofZeldaFitzgerald:

    Honestly, you are worrying me.  Most of your posts worry me, and it's getting worse.  I'm not bringing this up to be a diick, but aren't you the poster who was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder?  If so, I remember asking who made that diagnosis.  I don't believe you answered me.  I really, truly, hope it was a psychiatrist (as opposed to a general practitioner), and that you are continuing to see him or her for medication monitoring, in addition to the work you're doing with your therapist.  

    Also, the way in which you speak about your therapist indicated to me that you two may not be the best match.  From the way you portray the relationship, you think your therapist is laughing at.judging you, and you seem to be taking his or her viewpoints as stodgy and having trouble relating to them.  If that's the case, this isn't an actually therapeutic relationship.  Perhaps you should find someone else, with whom you're more comfortable and feel better understood.

    I am seeing a psychiatrist in addition to my psychologist. My meds are monitored and I've actually been feeling much better lately. Not crying, not sad, and happily functioning. My psychologist has some good insight but, you're right. I do not feel that we are a good fit. I've cut back to going every other week because I'm having trouble swallowing half of the things he says to me, but then again, it could just be me. I don't know.

     

    Ok, good news about the psychiatrist.  And there's no harm in shopping around for another therapist, if this one isn't the right fit.  If you respect your psychiatrist, perhaps you can ask him or her to recommend some people to you.

    Also, it's important to realize that everyone has his or her own definition of healthy and normal.  It's ok to be unconventional, provided you're not harming yourself or anyone else.  You just have to take a long hard look at the choices you're making and assess whether or not they're truly making you happy.  I've found my own healthy and normal, and trust me -- it's anything from boring.

    I do wish you the best of luck.

    So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

  • No, you're not alone! I've been out with a ton of nice guys. Backrubs, going to let my dog out while I'm stuck at work - all that just gets so BORING after a while. For some reason the jerks are so much more exciting.
    One jerk literally "forgot his wallet" and made me pay for dinner and a text from him still gets my middle third singing sweet virginia more than one of the nice ones. Gah. Let me know how the changing your taste goes.

    Vacation
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