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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Stupid question about mailing packages
:::lurker coming out of the closet:::
Hi everyone!
BF is going for officer training soon and he will be gone for his birthday. I really want to send him a package but I can't find the mailing address. I don't want to ask him because I want it to be a surprise. I went on the base's website but it isn't listed anywhere. I sent them an email asking for the address as well as any "rules" for sending packages and I am waiting to hear back.
I thought you ladies might have some knowledge as well. Any easy way to find out what the mailing info is?
2011 Races
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Re: Stupid question about mailing packages
When DH went to boot camp, he was not allowed packages.
When my brother went to officer training for the Army, he was allowed packages but they were strongly discouraged. That was probably about 10 years ago, so it could have changed quite a bit. He said they told them that they would open any packages in front of the entire squad bay and read any cards/letters/etc that were in it out loud to everyone and they would take any pictures and hang them in common places. It never actually happened. I don't know if it was just an empty threat or if people were too scared to have packages sent after that.
Holy sh*t! Um, I just wanted to send him brownies and maybe some candy haha!
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Thanks for the suggestion. We celebrated with his family on Sunday. I just feel bad that he will be gone so I wanted to do something to make his day a little brighter. I guess I will have to see if they email me back or wait until he gets down there.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
You emailed them and he's not even there yet?
They are going to have some fun with him. You just made him "that guy."
I'm glad I'm not the only one that cringed on that one.
I didn't email a specific person or even put his information down. I just said that I wanted to mail something so what was the address. There isn't a way to tie my email to him specifically.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Sorry that I am cringe-worthy to you lol. Guess I will go back to my regularly scheduled lurking...
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
You need to let your SO give you information and not go seeking it yourself. He doesn't even know where exactly he'll be, what building/room/etc. You can't just mail something to a base with his name on it and expect him to get it. LOL. Think this shiit through next time.
Again, sorry oh-wise-MN-ladies! (I do say that light-hearted) NEWBIE TO THIS! I have no fvcking clue how this works, hence why I am asking you haha! I have no experience dating anyone in the world of military. My knowledge base in this arena is nil. I admit that freely. This is the first time that he will be gone for an extended period while we have been together.
ETA: In my post heading, I clearly state that my question is a stupid one, haha!
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
I understand and think that is sweet of you but you do not want to do anything that will draw attention to your BF during training.
As for PP, you also need to wait for information from him (trust me learn the patience now it will save your sanity in the long run). Again, it is drawing unwanted attention toward him.
My H was in bootcamp and some guys in his platoon received packages. For some crazy reason the DI's let them keep them (they were opened infront of everyone though). Whoever sent the package was smart enough to include something for everyone (power bars, trail mix, etc.) and I think that is the only reason why they were allowed to keep them, because they shared with the rest of the platoon. Even then, I didn't send my husband anything but letters in plain white envelopes. Even mailing a card would make me nervous.
Thank you for the very good advice. I really appreciate it!. I know that he said they weren't staying in regular barracks but he had to share a room with 1 other guy. Do you think he would still get sh*t for getting a package?
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Just think about how you get other people's addresses. You don't call their apartment complex, their boss, or school. You let them give it to you. This is the same concept.
Yes. All packages are screened when they come in (for contraband). This is the 1st of many birthdays/holidays/anniversaries you aren't going to be together to celebrate. It is best to get in the grove now of not being with each other or being in contact with each other. I would buy him something he can use when he gets home and sending him a picture of it. I bought DH a massage when he got home (DH fought me on it but ended up loving it). You could do something like that, or tickets to a concert. Take a pic, put it in a normal letter, and give him something to look forward to when he gets home.
I get what you are saying. But if I had to mail things to people in the past, I have also just googled their info.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Do you know what type of officer training? When my dh did OCS he wasn't allowed to get packages, but it is suppose to be like bootcamp. But when he went to TBS (the next stage of training after OCS for the Marines) he lived in a dorm type like room with a couple of guys and was allowed to get packages. Really, I think we could answer your questions better if we knew what branch and what officer training he was going to. Then we can go off of our experiences.
But the advice of waiting til he gets his address and gives it to you is the best. They get put in groups and their address is determined by what group they are in.
My H is in BOLC now (the next step of training for the Army, he went through ROTC first) and he is allowed packages. His roommate went through OCS and is now in BOLC with him, he was not allowed any packages during OCS but is allow them now. But, they do not live on base during BOLC, they live in a regular apartment complex, so things can be mailed to their apartment with no issue. Like others have suggested, I think you should just wait for him to get there, that way you will not need to guess, you will have an answer. Good luck!
If she googles everyone's address then I can't believe google failed her on this one. Because you can totally google people's addresses.
As for trying to get his address. Personally, I think that being proactive can be a good thing. One thing that you will learn the longer you are with your BF, and the longer he's in the military, is when it is appropriate to be proactive and when to hold back.
I hope that his training time goes quickly and smoothly.
Apparently then you aren't very adept at using google then. Mind you, I am not talking about military address but IRL, you can put someone's name into this wonderful search engine along with their town and voila! their information can pop up! It is a wonderful tool. Perhaps you can try it some time.
And @ Lace&Josh, no, I am taking PP advice. If you read my posts after that, I CLEARLY thank PP who gave me constructive, polite advice and ask further questions. My other posts were directed at the PP who are being snarky because I am SO STUPID that I CLEARLY don't know "military rules" when I state this is the first relationship that I have been in with someone in the military. So if you would like to get off your high horse and give me some advice, I welcome it. If you want to come off as a snarky because I am a newbie, then no, I don't really want to hear what you have to say.
I came to this board because I am AM a newbie and was looking for people to help me navigate this. But I don't need to put up with snarky BS comments. Thanks to all PP who gave me practical advice without coming off like I am a fvcking moron for not receiving my "how to date a military man" handbook in the mail. I will wait to hear from BF.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Thank you! I will talk with him about it when he gets down there.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
How do those panties feel bunched so high in your ass?
This is what I was referring to. It wasn't enough that everyone has told you to wait & yet you keep coming up with a way to try to get your shiit there.
I'm not "coming off snarky" because you are new. My comment was because you seem to be one of those people who think they can get around things. I see you being the wife that contacts the chain of command when you don't like the duty hours your man gets. Or something like that.
My advice? Chill out! He hasn't even left yet so you don't need to be worried about any of this.
Where is that post does it say "how do I get the package to him"? PP mentioned that guys were getting shiit for getting packages. My questions was more along the lines of: does the type of environment that they stay in dictate whether or not they get shiit or is it all around? I.E. I was contemplating TAKING her advice and NOT mailing out a package at all! It had nothing to do with "oh, gee. I sure do need to get that address" but more "oh, wow. I didn't realize that people got that much shiit for getting a package. Maybe I won't send one after all."
Thank you for your advice but I think you TOTALLY misconstrued what I was trying to get at with that. I respect what BF does and get that his life doesn't really belong to him. So, no. I will not be THAT SO/GF/DW who calls the commander, but I appreciate your concern.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Your original question was not stupid. It's a legitimate question that a lot of people have. It and questions like it are asked quite often on this board. You said you are a lurker. If you were a lurker here for more than a couple of weeks, you may have notices these questions. You may also have notices us telling people they should not be contacting the people asking for addresses or making complaints. You would also have noticed us telling a girl recently that her H would send her his address and all the info she would need soon after he settles into his school.
For future reference, when at a military school, you do not want to stick out for any reason. Standing out puts the attention of the people in charge of training on you. You don't want them to pay attention to you.
A W/FI/GF or mom should only contact the school of a loved one in the case of an emergency. Anything else is trivial and puts the name of that service member out there to catch crap. Now you know.
Story time: When I was in Basic, a FI sent our CO an annonymous email sometime in week 2. She was upset because she hadn't heard from him in two weeks and just could not survive with out hearing from him so she could know he was ok. Our entire company got "extra PT" for nearly an hour because of that email. He was told to call her while we all watched. The only words he could tell her were, "My CO thanks you for the email. I am calling you now so you know I am alive. No other Private in my company has been allowed to call their loved ones and no one else will be able to make a phone call today. Some of them have children. They all thank you while they do pushups on my behalf." After that, he was not forgotten by the Drills.
Did he dump her? I think I would have.
Thank you. No, I only lurk on here every once in a while so I haven't see this question addressed. I appreciate your feedback and advice because I AM new to this (sorry, I know it is the 5,000 time I have said it in this post). After the original post it had NOTHING to do with getting the address but EVERYTHING to do with getting advice whether my original idea of sending him a package was a good one. After I saw some PP messages I actually broached the subject with BF and told him I was thinking of sending him something for his bday. I got a big, fat HELL NO--haha! He appreciated the gesture but reiterated what PP said about drawing attention to himself. He requested that I not even mail him any letters/cards. I am perfectly okay with this. I get this will be hard for him and I really dont want to make his life any more difficult. So, again, THANK YOU for the kind advice.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04