Trouble in Paradise
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Just left DH... still love him/need advice (super long)
I don't want to add to your problems, but do you think one of your friends is sleeping with him? It seems pretty crappy they would blab to him your conversations.
You will not believe it, but you really are getting out of a craptastic situation with a manipulative pos and there is a better life for you without him. See a lawyer since you left the martial home. Call one asap. Protect yourself.
In light of your H's transgressions, who in their right mind would give a flying shiit-sandwich if you confided in some friends and they blabbed?
Oh, poor baby, now people know he's a piece of shiit cheating azzhole.
That part of this whole issue doesn't even need to be on your radar right now, you can figure that out later.
Don't answer anymore of his texts or calls or emails. Ignore him. Call a lawyer to have the divorce papers drawn up and ready for you to sign later this week.They can handle contacting him about it
It's time for you to start thinking about your feelings for a change, not this douchebag's.
You ARE worth it. You DO deserve better. Now DO something about it!
If he doesn't want you talking about what a jerk he is to your friends, or trying to look through his phone, he shouldn't have been making arrangements to hook up with random women on the Internet. He really has nothing at all to complain about. And the only thing you have to be sorry about is how long it took you to figure out what a *** he is. I know this isn't the outcome you wanted, but sometimes stuff happens that is out of our hands. It's not your fault that your marriage is falling apart. You've done everything you could, while he's done nothing but break your trust.
Maybe you should tell him that you didn't really mean anything by the stuff you told your friends, that you were just bored.
Somebody like this just needs to be hit by a bus while crossing the street one day and make this world just a little bit better.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
He's a private person.
His penis, however, seems to be a bit more outgoing.
Exactly. And screw confiding in his friends, how about you take out a billboard in front of his office? Or put his profile on menwhocheat.com (or one of the similar websites). The fact is, he has no problem whatsoever bringing outside people into the relationship for his pleasure, but then gets all snippy when you do for advice.
He's a master manipulator. I'd sever any and all contact and get a good lawyer. Good luck (you may hurt for a while, but you know, a one time wound heals rather quickly, which is better than continuing to pick the scab over and over again like you're doing now).
You're right! It does feel like a scab that I have been picking at. I don't think I ever truly healed the first time. There were so many unanswered questions then. It's just so sad, that it has come to this. I cried for awhile last night. I feel like I failed. I always thought he would wake up one day and realize what a catch he had and start treating me the way I was treating him. He was my world and I just feel alone. I'm trying to stay busy with work and my family. Thank you for all of your support! Everyone?s words mean so much and are giving me strength.
Your husband sounds like my ex - live-in - boyfriend. Even after we broke up, I thought that it was just all my fault. Three marriages and one random baby mama later, the problem is clearly his.
He found me on FB recently and sent me a message about catching up with "an old friend."
I know that I shouldn't have replied, but I just had to with this;
You are not an old friend. You are a man through whom I use to express my self-loathing. Good luck with everything. And then I blocked him. Petty, I know.
Not petty... AWESOME!
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
Agreed. 100%. If he really wanted to work on it with you after the first time he wouldn't be hiding anything because he would have nothing to hide, instead he is? Then he blames YOU for talking about it and not being ok with the situation?
Run.
Fast.
Love is a powerful thing and it hurts to see someone for what they are when you love them for who they let you SEE they are.....