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Re: I'd like to discuss religious upbringing of children
IIOY....can you explain this more because I'm not seeing how this fits in with his concern over inconsistencies? Or was he annoyed that the pirest didn't sound like he knew what he was talking about?
As for the OP, I think the key is getting your husband to talk. Do you think he won't talk because you're not Catholic? I don't think making a decision without knowing what's going on with him would be wise.
LOL - that is kind of what she said. I understand what she was going for... but it is funny how you put it
lol
dh was raised catholic (his uncle is a priest, etc). I was not really raised anything- just christian leaning Lutheran.... and DH and I go to a Lutheran church with our kids. There is no "you failed your promise" type of attitude at our church- they accept anyone and we have TONS of former catholics there.... DH considers himself 1/2 catholic still - he prays the rosary now and then... but just not at church, etc. He understands why i'm agains the catholic church and will never raise our kids catholic and respects my feelings... he agrees with most of my reasons - which is why he was OK with going to a lutheran church to begin with. He feels all christian denom's will become one at some point anyway.
My point about the inconsistencies is that he has always viewed Catholic teachings with a critical/skeptical eye, something that usually is incompatible with faith. Thus it's not altogether surprising that he felt let down by the priest, who had been at the prior week's Mass and promised quite a bit.
To be fair, he is quite the devil's advocate (no pun intended) on most things and I have often thought he would have been a good attorney.
Why can't you just raise your kids with reason and rationalism? Why do you need to raise them with religion if you don't believe?
Are you trying to do what my parents did? Send me to VBS and Catholic school and the church choir and make me be an acolyte until I realized how none of it made any sense, and there was so much hypocrisy, and that it wasn't worth losing sleep on Sundays or any other days?
So he was let down by this priest because he thought the homily was lacking? If so, I'm right there with him (although probably for different reasons).
If I'm being perfectly honest, I could see me doing the same thing your husband is doing. Insisting on Catholicism, but being rather lapsed myself. I'm not currently lapsed (though rather HAC-y at times), but I go in spells with my church attendance and cultural Catholicism moments.
Before we were married, we agreed on Catholicism b/c it was far more important to me than it was to him. We were also married in the Church. MH is Lutheran, not Catholic, but has agreed to attend Catholic mass and be supportive of raising the kids as Catholics. I also know if I couldn't find a church I liked, I wouldn't look for something else, I just wouldn't go. It's what I did in college.
I think, though, it is perfectly fair of you to say that unless he participates in helping raise them Catholic, you're going to join an Episcopalian church. I would resist the same thing if my husband said it to me, BUT, I would know it was more than fair.
I admit that while I have my disagreements with the Church, I cannot fathom the idea of my children being raised in another faith. And as non-open minded as it makes me, I can't imagine them not identifying as Catholic (like it for real makes me gasp out loud). I think that's where the cultural part comes in, and I agree wholeheartedly with IIOY's comments on Catholics.
PS - my friends who live in Franklin go to an Episcopalian church. I've met their priest (? not sure if that's right) and he is awesome. I really liked him.
This just sounds weird that he is so emphatic without taking any steps. Your oldest son would be getting close to first communion, wouldn't he? Personally I would take this issue to the therapist, but we love therapy.
That aside, I think I would say "you have 6 more months to take action, then I'm choosing a church". This is of course on top of the 6-7 years that have already passed.
Does your husband actually take any action with the kids? My impression is no and I doubt this will be any different.
This is a Catholic teaching - all of the splinter groups will return back to Catholicism as the second coming approaches. My grandmother was big on this one. It was funny, she'd say, this one split off, then that one, but it doesn't matter because (nose wrinkle w/knowing nod) they'll all come back eventually.
ETA: Oh yeah, the OP. I'd suggest teaching them at home. Set aside an hour on Sunday. If DH decided its insufficient, he can make good on his end of the bargain. Claiming you are not holding up by taking them to an Episcopal church is crap, since your end of the bargain was not non-involvement. If I read correctly, it was he raises them Catholic and you agree. Not he doesn't raise them anything and you stand idly by.
Above Us Only Sky
?? My H and FIL know the Bible inside out. They have raucous debates every Sunday over its specific contents, which usually involves whipping their Bibles out and reading aloud to one another and then arguing over the meaning in the broader context of the Bible and Catholic teachings.
2V - I just checked with H and it wasn't a Mass that he attended, just a special presentation with the guest priest, so it wasn't a homily that was so disappointing. It sounds as though it was more akin to a lecture in which the priest promised to explain the Holy Trinity and, by my husband's standards, failed miserably.
I think some catholics do know it inside and out, but a lot also just attend mass as a perfunctory obligation and really have no clue. My mother who went to Episcipal seminary used to get her butt whipped in "biblical trivia pursuit" by our neighbor who belonged to the assembly of god church.
Above Us Only Sky
Thanks IIOY. To be fair explaining the Holy Trinity has always been difficult to do, so in that particular instance I might give him some slack (depending how bad ithe explanation was of course and if it veered away from Church teaching).
Re: Catholics not knowing the Bible, I do see some of the older generation not being too up on it (and I think that would be more like IIOY FIL's parents), but then again they aren't too up on Church teaching either so you have that.
I think I remember learning either during RCIA or during a homily that Catholics actually hear the whole Bible in a 3 year liturgical cycle.
After posting my response, it occurred to me that this might be the issue.
Also, I don't doubt that there are many people of all Christian faiths who are not on intimate terms with the contents of the Bible. I would be one of those people.
I think the OP said her husband was raised Catholic in England (there are Catholics in England) but that they were married in the Church of England.