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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: What would you do?
I think it was fine to go over and ask her if she wanted some help. That doesn't come off as judgy to me and actually nice instead. Sometimes we parents do need an extra hand. :-)
I would not have pursued it any further though from your description. Like others have said, especially if this child was in the 2-3 range, she very well could have been putting on the dramatics. And although I am not a spanker I have no issue with others doing it especially how you described it.
My kids were acting up in Target once to the point where I would have been ready to sell them both to a passing caravan of gypsies... and then after ringing up my whole order, the cashier informed me that my card was declined (I'd also made a purchase at the Target cafe and the Target pharmacy where it had been accepted, but apparently 3 purchases in the same store was some 'sign' to the bank that fraud was afoot, and they froze the card, forcing me to leave all of my groceries there). My daughter threw a tantrum because we had to leave the store without the stuff she wanted, and I momentarily lost my temper yelled at her to be quiet. In public. While both of my kids were screaming.
Some random woman FOLLOWED ME INTO THE PARKING LOT asking me dumbass questions about where some other store was and a bunch of sh*t I didn't care to discuss until I realized that she thought I was some psycho abusive parent. My kids are screaming the whole time, and this woman is practically running after me asking me about where the nearest Sally Beauty Supply is. I turned around and told her that my kids were having a tantrum, and she needed to back the hell off before I called for security.
I think it's great that people want to intervene when they think someone might be harming a child, but there are way too many people who also think nothing of stepping over the line and getting in someone's face when there's not a problem. Kids freak out in public. It sucks. But I don't think it's a reason to approach people you don't know.
Meredith, 6-1-06 and Alex, 11-5-09
Because all kids who bite or hit come from violent households.
IDK about you, but biting is a crucial part of my ten part disciplinary plan. lol
For serious, I realize that yes, children mimic certain behaviors but it's also true that children hit and bite out of frustration and often do so even no one has ever behaved that way with them or around them.
Click me, click me!
*giggles* Why yes! Nae only knows to hit her sister in the head with a Wii controller because I beat T in the head with a Wii controller all day long! Weeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
Yep. Plus, these days any time DD stubs her toe, bangs her knee, trips, etc., she says, "Mummy, you hurt me!". I've lost count of the number of side eyes I've received.
I cringe when I see parents physically disciplining their kids. I don't agree with it, but I've yet to see it to the point where it deems intervention.
I've never raised a finger to my child or even raised my voice (because that testing will likely come this year), but as soon as he got his first two teeth - bam - he turns into Chucky every now and again. He tries to bite me while he's nursing in particular - and he does it on purpose. Lets out little giggles and goes to do it very slowly while watching me and grinning the whole time. I say "no" calmly with a straight face, and he goes in for the quick chomp and cracks up. I sure as hell know he didn't get it from us being violent.
Z has hit what people call the terrible twos. I just want to thank everyone in this thread for telling thier stories. I have been waiting for my kids eyes to roll back in his head and his head to spin like he was possessed. Good thing he is just like every other kid.
DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption
I'm firmly team SBP and HAB. DS and DD can play so sweetly together and then 5 seconds later it is like a cagematch. I can't tell you the number of times that they will get a time-out for hitting/biting/hair pulling and IMMEDIATELY upon getting out of time-out run back over and do the exact same thing again. And being out in public just makes it worse, especially when I have the kids by myself.
And the above made me laugh b/c I was just thinking about how I needed an exorcist two nights ago when DD was in a 40 min long, kicking, hitting, screaming tantrum b/c she didn't want to go to bed.
Anything you can achieve through hard work, you could also just buy.
Hee!! I get that too...I say "I'm not trying to be!" One of my DD's favorites is "well, you aren't going to Disney". She likes to say that to anyone (me, her Grammy and aunts) who doesn't give in to what she wants...like she's going to get to go to Disney herself.
I don't wonder, I know. Damn daycare. That's also where she learned how to yell, "NO! MINE!"
The other day I heard K start frantically whining from the playroom "stop hurting me, brother, owww, stop it". I peeked downstairs, and K is sitting all alone, big smirk on his face, going on and on about how that hurts, stop hitting, I'm telling mom, etc. Brother is still playing wii in the living room (where he'd been for the past 20 minutes).
I also accidentally scratched him with my ring a few days ago, and now every time I even look sideways at him he's all "mommy, you just scratched me, that's mean".
WTF indeed.
see more Failbook
It is not uncommon at all for the to throw themselves on the floor, or twist away from me and fall.
If she wasn't crying I would assume she wasn't hurt.
I would hate to see the hitting, but the dropping on the ground actually seems less concerning to me.
2 words: Toddler Drop.
all 3 of my kids can drop like a stone when they go dead weight on me. once grace hit 2 years old i just let her go and land where she may.
as for the "i wonder where she learned to be violent" quip, i'm fairly certain jack's never seen me pin DH to the ground and ride him like a pony so where would he learn to do that to ben?
ETA: wow. that last part doesn't sound at all the way i had intended it to sound.
::wiggles eyebrows:: Bow chica bow wow
Oh shiit. That made me laugh out loud while kids are watching a video about a class' service project focusing on breast cancer awareness. Sweet.
Yes,I'm smiling...I'm a marathoner!
Bloggy McBloggerson
CO Nestie Award Winner-Prettiest Brain-Back to Back!
2011 Bests
5K-22:49 10K-47:38 Half Mary-1:51:50
2012 Race Report
1/1-New Year's 5K-22:11
2/11-Sweetheart Classic 4-mile-29:49
3/24-Coulee Chase 5K-21:40
5/6-Colorado Marathon-4:08:30
5/28-Bolder Boulder 10K
Gavin's favorite thing to say is "MOMMY DROPPED ABBY!!!!"
Thanks a lot kid.
I understand your concern and I think your offer to help was kind. I think the bold part is a little too far. Honestly, unless that mother picked up her daughter and slammed her on the asphalt, it's hard to know what happened.
My children are total noodles when they don't want to do something or are mad or having a tantrum. I've dropped DS because he suddenly went limp and fell on the ground (from a couple of feet up and hard.) I felt like a total assholio.
I've also totally lost my sh!t when I've had enough from two kids screaming at each other constantly. I also have a four year old that doesn't like to listen and I find myself beyond frazzled when I've repeated for the 948th time to not do something. I sometimes lose it in public. I'm not proud, but it happens. Sometimes you walk into a situation right in the middle and it's hard to be sure what's really happening.
I wanted to comment on this earlier but I needed to take DD to school. This really bothers me, too. I think you definitely crossed the line here. You've put it in the cashier's head that a customer is possibly abusive (your words) and who knows where it could go from there. What if the cashier knows the woman's name and mentions the conversation to other employees or customers?
Sure Lauren, sure.
Are you nursing my daughter? Because she does the exact same thing. With the little impish grin and slow bite while watching my reaction and all. She also does the "toddler drop" even though she isn't quite 11 months old.
OP I think talking to the cashier was over the top.