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tartaruga
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
@ Do you think it's a sure sign...
Do you think when an expecting couple says "we've decided on a name but we're not telling anyone what it is" that's a sure sign that they've picked a terrible name they know everyone is going to hate?
Re: @ Do you think it's a sure sign...
I don't think so. DH and I were the same way and I don't think any of my kids' have awful names. We just wanted to see each kid before committing
Above Us Only Sky
No, I usually just assume it means they have loudmouth parents or in laws.
If it's not their first I think it means they(the expecting couple) have chitty parents.
And possibly that the name will be .... different.
no, for the reasons PP mentioned. I loved the name we chose for Kiddo, but I didn't share b/c the ILs love to personalize things, and if I wanted to change kiddos name once she popped out, then I didn't want to deal with a bunch of bags that said name a. i told them the name after the shower, and luckily once i saw her i felt the chosen name was right.
We're doing that, and our names are Lucas James or Mason James. Are those really bad???
Our backup girls name just in case is Audrey Elizabeth.
LOL, I hope people don't think that because we aren't really sharing that name (I've mentioned it so if anyone is a true stalker they will know ha.)
For some reason though I am very self-conscious about the name even though it is so super common and bland (that is going to be the only negative thing someone can say - that our name is common and boring ha)....but I just feel uncomfortable sharing it. Part superstition, part feeling that we there is a .0001 chance we change our mind, and part just feeling like this is something between H and I for right now, I guess. Once the baby is here then I like the idea of announcing the name.
I also am not a fan of referring to the baby by the name before birth - here and there it's okay, but it weirds me out when people talk about the baby like he or she is already here. BUT I know for some people it helps (like my SIL wasn't sure about the name Scarlett so they basically test-drove it for a few weeks while she was still pregnant - this is Scarlett's room, this is Scarlett's book, etc. and it helped her connect with the name and the baby a lot.)
No, those are all great!
Audrey Elizabeth was/is one of our top girl names too! It was that, Magdalena Elizabeth, or Elizabeth Ruth (Audrey is my grandmother's first cousin who is basically another aunt, Magdalena is my great-grandmother and Elizabeth is H's grandmother.) Oh and Ruth is my grandmother.
My point in sharing this is that I am torn if we have a girl down the road bc I would still want to use Audrey but my brother's GF has made it clear that Audrey Grace is her #1 girl name. If they get married (and we think they will), I can still use Audrey, right? I might do it even if she uses it first haha.
ETA: and I LOVE Lucas James. I like Mason as well but it was my aunt's dog name haha so I have a weird connotation with it. (except her other dog was Magdalena and that wouldn't stop me....)
we have been really open with sharing ours, and thankfully nobody has offered any dumb/rude feedback. I think if I had anticipated that happening, we might have kept it quiet.
we didn't share our name before she was born because:
A) my husband was overseas for a lot of my pregnancy and he liked having something that he and only he was in on exclusively;
C) to me, it felt like tempting fate a little too much--like making it too certain that the kid was i) going to look like that name and ii) going to turn out just fine. i had a friend who from the instant she found out her baby was a girl started calling her by her full name all the time, in every conversation (like "oh, jenny sue just kicked me!" jenny sue is not the name). it made me uncomfortable, for some reason.
i think our name is nice and rather normal.
this.
FB friends are my kids names bad?
Above Us Only Sky
I hate this.
I also hate the "We know gender but aren't telling". I find it annoying. It's like they're some super secret club and you're not cool enough.
Just say "we're not sure yet" and leave it at that.
ETA: This connotation I have may be due to the people I know IRL who do these things.
See, we aren't telling the names because we don't want people going "oh, you can't do that, i knew a XYZ in high school and they were horrid." and also, my ILs are really nosy and would comment every hour.
Nah, my cousins did this, and they named their daughter Sofia.
But, my daughter wouldn't tell the girl name, (Addison),
because she thought that I wouldn't like it.
I'm glad she had a boy, Colin, she was right
.
We got some of that. The best response would be when we would say "I can't believe you just said that. Thanks for sharing, but it's still the name we are using."
Generally, people would get embarrassed. But overall, we didn't get too many comments.
This.
We picked a normal name, but refused to share it, because my mother has no personal filter and would feel it was her duty to tell us and every one else she knows her opinions, good or bad, on our choice of name.
I did this for awhile
I really, really hate pink. Also I couldn't say we didn't know because I am a terrible liar.
I was also very selective on who I told the name to, DH loved it but I wasn't sure about it (until I saw her, perfect fit).
Hmmm interesting. OK maybe this kid isn't doomed lol.
I asked them "What names are you thinking about?" and they told me they decided on one but aren't telling anyone. I was kind of...I don't know, a little put off, maybe because we told them both of our kids' names (or the names we were considering).
I just get this feeling it's going to be a weird name. Maybe because H said "well, whatever you name him, just remember that he has to have this name his whole life" and they kind of got this funny look on their face.
I want to know their names. I will honestly tell you if they're bad.
For the OP, no, not always. My brother and SIL did this, and they named their son Henry. Totally a name.
LOL thank you! I found it on a "Glamour Shots Gone Wrong" page and it just killed me.
I feel like most people do it b/c they don't want feedback, and have annoying relatives.
We have annoying relatives (ahem, MIL!) but if we hadn't said, "this is the name, it's not changing, STFU," she would have called every day multiple times suggesting names she liked. I found that more annoying than her negative comments about the name we chose, so we said, 'the name is Scarlett Maeve. It's not changing. Quit suggesting Alyssa Grace." Her response was "WELL! I don't like that at all! Alyssa Grace flows much better." But she did quit talking about it after that, so I considered it a victory.
My favorite thing about my MIL is that her twin brother is Jerry, her husband is Jerry and she named her oldest son Jerry... but when we discussed using a family name from my family she said we shouldn't because it was "hideous." Like Jerry is such a great name? Clearly she used it because it was a family name. No one in their right mind thinks "ooo Jerry! BEST NAME EVAH!!!"
Yeah we did this, for the reasons mentioned: didn't want opinions, might change mind/wrong gender, felt squicky about calling the kid by name until he was here.
I like to think we weren't annoying about it, we tried not to say outright "we're not telling", but towards the end it was obvious. I guess it was one of those things, like the sex, I was surprised people were so interested in.
Both of our mothers about lost their shits that we wouldn't tell them. My MIL was very annoyed that she had to write the tags on his Xmas gifts to "?"
Well, they didn't actually tell us what they're naming their kid, so there wasn't much to comment on.
I just have this funny feeling that my nephew is going to be Maysyn or Jaiydeyn.
Nope. One of the best pieces of advice someone gave me before I got PG was not to share the name, because good or bad everybody will have a damn opinion on it that most will share whether you ask them to or not, even if they're the ones who asked what the name was. We didn't feel like dealing with that, didn't share, and were happy about it.
We also wanted to reserve the right to change our minds without having to explain ourselves right up until the last minute.
No, most people don't tell anyone the name.
It's creepy when pregnant people refer to their foetus by name.