Nanny Problem- thoughts?

Nukke · July 2012

jez_girl:
Nukke:
OP-- I'm a little shocked that the nanny--knowing what she had posted about your kids--still added you as a friend. Maybe she was high when she did it.
I don't belong to twitter, but as a facebook user, I've kept a strict "no work" policy. I don't add any work colleagues, bosses or clients as friends, and I never complain about my work in my updates. I don't see the reason for it, for one thing. Updating my status doesn't help me "vent". Talking to people in real life does. It's not only unprofessional, it's dangerous to vent about your work on social media. Especially with the amount of times Facebook changes their privacy policy, I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them. And, PS, I work in IT, as does my husband. Though i don't see what that has to do with anything.
If you'll read the OP, you'll see that this was on Twitter. The nanny didn't friend the OP and allow her access, she found her on Twitter and didn't like what she found.
The point about IT was to demonstrate that I know the security limitations and I don't vent without proper precautions. Again, I am not defending the nanny- I'm defending venting if it is done safely. You may want to scroll up, since you missed all of that.

Thanks, but I actually didn't miss a thing. I'm telling you exactly why I think it's foolish to vent about work on facebook, and that the security limitations are the very reason why you should never assume you're posting "safely".

I clearly don't understanding how twitter works, though. I don't belong to twitter, so I assumed the nanny would have had to "friend" the OP first to allow her to view and follow her tweets. If they're open there for all to see, that's even more reason not to vent on twitter.

scarlettoctober · July 2012

TravelBug1228:
carolineh:

Thank you for your response. As I've looked around after this I have seen that no social media clauses are pretty common these days in nanny's contracts. Not that they can't have accounts of course, just that their childrens' names photographs and other identifying information be posted as mine were.

And I do just want to say that I am completely confident that she never smoked pot in my home or around my children. By all accounts she was wonderful to them, which is why this was such a shock to me.

I don't mean to be snarky, but what's the difference between her posting this stuff on Twitter and you having "identifying information" about your children in your signature?

Because they are her children and she has the right to post about them.

chrisandsarahwedding · July 2012

That is why you work for yourself.. you can vent all day long to your hearts content wherever you want. Much more fun :P Though I am sure you wont have too many of those FB friends left.

I am sorry but if someone is smoking pot at all, most likely at least once they probably were still considered 'high' when they watched your children.. even if they didnt think they were..it messes up people's good judgement. People who do drugs find a way to say its 'okay' somehow. Bugs the heck out of me!! My sister in law works as a preschool aid/teacher and does pot too.. She says she isnt high when she sees the kids..BUT when I asked her what she is going to do when she has a kid and is watching them 24/7...she tells me she will just do it when they are sleeping. She acts like that is responsible enough. Needless to say she will never be watching my kids alone when I have them.

I say at least tell the nanny if you want pictures removed..tweets I wouldnt bother. But all I know is I would want someone to tell me if my nanny had a history of smoking pot, so I would suggest telling someone, not everyone thinks its okay and should know that her judgement could be hindered with their children!

susiederkins · July 2012

jez_girl:
susiederkins:
jez_girl:
susiederkins:

EastCoastBride:
jez_girl:
Sorry, but I don't believe anyone who says they never vent about work on social media. Even if it's "Grrrrr, horrible day at work", we all do it. At least be honest with yourselves.
Fine, don't believe us.

It must be our age, ECB. Pass me my cane.

No, I have never vented about my job on social media. Like ECB, I'll vent to my husband and friends, but on Facebook. It's just not a smart thing to do. As I've already said, grounds for termination at any job I've ever worked at.

If I ran the agency, I'd want to know what the nanny did. It reflects poorly on my business. From my perspective, if I found out a vendor of mine spoke poorly of me on social media, I wouldn't use them again. It shows poor judgement.

And do you ever post about your job here? Your husband, your kids, your family? Just because it isn't Facebook doesn't mean it isn't social media. Venting about any of those things here is exactly like venting elsewhere. As long as you take precautions, there is nothing wrong with any of it.

No, I don't post about by job on here, per our social media policy. Nor do I vent about my husband or child. I mostly enjoy playing with the wilfully obtuse.

You keep defending the nanny, but my empathy lies with the OP. She paid the nanny good money to watch her kids, and her thanks is to find a string of negative comments about her and her children. It's inappropriate and unprofessional, and the nanny deserves the consequences of her actions. It's a hard lesson, but one she needs to learn. You don't get to say whatever you want when and wherever you want. It's a millennial mindset I find baffling.

Once again, I'm not defending the nanny. She shouldn't have tweeted in a way that could be identified. I'm saying that it can be done safely and that OP should let this go. Is ruining a wonderful nanny's career necessary? Obviously you think so. I don't.

And again, thanks for the personal attack. Seems you never learned how to express your opinion without cutting others' down. What a shame.

She's not a good nanny. Good nannies are not insulting their clients on Twitter while on the job. That's a poor employee, not a good one.

Reproting the nanny to the agency will not ruin her career. She might be fired, she might not, but the agency should know what their employees are doing. If she is terminated or repremanded, it's a consequence of her own actions.

jez_girl · July 2012

susiederkins:
jez_girl:
susiederkins:
jez_girl:
susiederkins:

EastCoastBride:
jez_girl:
Sorry, but I don't believe anyone who says they never vent about work on social media. Even if it's "Grrrrr, horrible day at work", we all do it. At least be honest with yourselves.
Fine, don't believe us.

It must be our age, ECB. Pass me my cane.

No, I have never vented about my job on social media. Like ECB, I'll vent to my husband and friends, but on Facebook. It's just not a smart thing to do. As I've already said, grounds for termination at any job I've ever worked at.

If I ran the agency, I'd want to know what the nanny did. It reflects poorly on my business. From my perspective, if I found out a vendor of mine spoke poorly of me on social media, I wouldn't use them again. It shows poor judgement.

And do you ever post about your job here? Your husband, your kids, your family? Just because it isn't Facebook doesn't mean it isn't social media. Venting about any of those things here is exactly like venting elsewhere. As long as you take precautions, there is nothing wrong with any of it.

No, I don't post about by job on here, per our social media policy. Nor do I vent about my husband or child. I mostly enjoy playing with the wilfully obtuse.

You keep defending the nanny, but my empathy lies with the OP. She paid the nanny good money to watch her kids, and her thanks is to find a string of negative comments about her and her children. It's inappropriate and unprofessional, and the nanny deserves the consequences of her actions. It's a hard lesson, but one she needs to learn. You don't get to say whatever you want when and wherever you want. It's a millennial mindset I find baffling.

Once again, I'm not defending the nanny. She shouldn't have tweeted in a way that could be identified. I'm saying that it can be done safely and that OP should let this go. Is ruining a wonderful nanny's career necessary? Obviously you think so. I don't.

And again, thanks for the personal attack. Seems you never learned how to express your opinion without cutting others' down. What a shame.

She's not a good nanny. Good nannies are not insulting their clients on Twitter while on the job. That's a poor employee, not a good one.

Reproting the nanny to the agency will not ruin her career. She might be fired, she might not, but the agency should know what their employees are doing. If she is terminated or repremanded, it's a consequence of her own actions.

If the OP thought she was a wonderful nanny (and the kids thought she was a wonderful nanny) before finding her Twitter account, I fail to see how venting about annoyances makes her a bad one. She takes good care of the kids, she does as OP asks (even doing laundry- in my neck of the woods you won't find a nanny willing to do that!), and she is a genuinely likable person.

Apparently I'm the only person on Earth who understands that even though you may like your job there are things that sometimes irritate you, and it helps to let those things out. Since I'm also the only person on this planet who uses social media of any kind (the Nest/Bump/Knot, Pro Boards, Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, etc.) to vent (anonymously or otherwise), I wouldn't expect any of you to understand.

MSUMands · July 2012

Ugh... I feel so bad for you, OP! I can totally understand why you are upset-that would piss me off to no end.

I'm a teacher as well, and venting about students (anywhere in writing!) can be traced back to us and we can be fired (remember the lady that had a blog about her high schoolers with no names and was fired?)

There is nothing worse than feeling betrayed by someone you trust. I wouldn't stoop to her level by tweeting her, but I would send her either an email or a hand written letter about how disappointed you are. I would do this not for her benefit, but to make you feel better.

I would also contact the agency about the pot smoking and the rude tweets. You aren't Wal-Mart where an employee is complaining about their day... these are your CHILDREN! Damn, I am pissed for you just reading about this!

jzurgable · July 2012

I am a former teacher, and have nannied over summers in the past. The good thing is that you are no longer left in the dark. The fact that you are aware is actually pretty important. You now know not to give her a review, or to actually give her a truthful review, to not hire her in the future, to not recommend her to friends and associates, etc. I consider it a lesson learned. My biggest problem with the situation is that she was doing this (social media) while she was with the children? Now that's a problem. That's neglect. If that is the case, I would report it. Period. She was not being paid to tweet. Your children should have always been her number one priority, that is why you hired her, right? Your most treasured everything, and there she is tweeting away. That is the type of thing that Nanny affiliations want to know about so that they are no longer able to work for them...OR was it on her own time?

Unfortunately there is not much you can do regarding the tweets. It's out there, whether they are removed or not. Let her have her say. You just make sure YOU have your say in the aforementioned report/not report situation. You truly sound like the kind of mother a real nanny would love to work for. It is a problem that she has made into your problem...completely not fair and downright hurtful. As a professional, I would NEVER post something about a family, past or present. You can explain the situation to future nannies, and further explain that you expect nothing less than the best for your children. They deserve it! But I truly think there will be nobody left to hire if you consider a no media clause because we are a media nation. All I can say is I wish you the best of luck!

lucy460 · July 2012

EastCoastBride:
jez_girl:
Sorry, but I don't believe anyone who says they never vent about work on social media. Even if it's "Grrrrr, horrible day at work", we all do it. At least be honest with yourselves.
Fine, don't believe us.

Ditto.

blahblah85 · August 2012

chrisandsarahwedding:

That is why you work for yourself.. you can vent all day long to your hearts content wherever you want. Much more fun :P Though I am sure you wont have too many of those FB friends left.

I am sorry but if someone is smoking pot at all, most likely at least once they probably were still considered 'high' when they watched your children.. even if they didnt think they were..it messes up people's good judgement. People who do drugs find a way to say its 'okay' somehow. Bugs the heck out of me!! My sister in law works as a preschool aid/teacher and does pot too.. She says she isnt high when she sees the kids..BUT when I asked her what she is going to do when she has a kid and is watching them 24/7...she tells me she will just do it when they are sleeping. She acts like that is responsible enough. Needless to say she will never be watching my kids alone when I have them.

I say at least tell the nanny if you want pictures removed..tweets I wouldnt bother. But all I know is I would want someone to tell me if my nanny had a history of smoking pot, so I would suggest telling someone, not everyone thinks its okay and should know that her judgement could be hindered with their children!

So you never drink around children, right?

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