Keepin' Up with the Joneses: How do you avoid it? Or do you?

bmo88

I find the idea of lifestyle /income creep to be an interesting topic. While our income has almost quadrupled in the past six years, we have managed to keep our expenses pretty even with the exception of taking on a mortgage and getting a car. We definitely increased living expenses, but still manage to keep it to about 30% of our take home income. And honestly, we do not feel like we are missing out on much. 

Sure we could eat out more, buy newer things or travel a little more often, but we just don't feel inclined to do so. We also (maybe more so me) get excited to see retirement and savings account funds grow. Our goal has been to balance living life now at an affordable rate with occasional splurges, while planning for the future.

In contrast, I am amazed by some of my friends who go all out with income and life style creep. Like full blown crazy with cars, homes, vacations, parties etc. I have a really good friend who got a fairly substantial raise, but has never been good with money. She had a really nice 1,800 sq ft home in the downtown area with great schools. She decided it was too small for her family (husband and 1 child). So now, she is buying a $750,000 home that is 4,100 sq ft and is only two streets over! Her previous home cost around $250,000. Her exact comment was, "Now I feel like people will take me more seriously and give me more credit for what I have accomplished." 

My jaw just about dropped. While the home is lovely, she admitted it was way above their budget and that the mortgage will be about 48% of their take home pay, and they could only put 8% down. I am just shocked she would over leverage herself just to "show off" or keep up with the Joneses."

I mean I get it, that once you start making money, there are wants and sometimes pressures. But I really don't understand some of these choices.

Then again, I own a $30 go phone with a crack in the screen. I get s*** all the time about being able to afford a better phone, but I really just don't care. Haha.

I will say, our guilty splurge has become vacations. We don't go too crazy and we still find ways to save (cc points, off season, etc), but we have taken more vacations in the past few years as a result of more income. So we all have our areas we splurge, that I won't deny.  

Our biggest way we avoid "keeping up with the Joneses" though is by having friends with the same frugal/money conscious values as us. A lot of our friends like game nights, dinners at each others places or live modest life styles. Consequently, we never feel like we are "competing" with anyone. Also, we bought a home in an upper middle income neighborhood, but we intentionally paid on the lower end of the neighborhood instead of the area that had homes in the $500-$700k range with much nicer features. No pressure to compete!

How do you guys avoid keeping up with Joneses? What are your weaknesses?

ETA: Wanted to edit because while many are very money conscious on this board, I recognize that income creep is not necessarily a terrible thing IF you can afford it. Often, keep up with the Joneses is portrayed as a bad thing, but if you can bank roll it and enjoy it, go for it!

cbee817

We are trying our best- the biggest thing I want now is a cleaning person to come every other week. I feel like that would free up the weekend quite a bit to be able to spend time together - especially with the girls not taking naps anymore and summer right around the corner. We were pretty tight with money for years while we paid for 2 kids in day care full time ($20K/year). Now that we're down to one in day care with 1 year left, DH and I have both bought new vehicles within the last year (we had a 2006 outback and 2003 civic, we now have 2015 forester and 2016 forester).. with 2 kids and winter at least 6 months out the year, it's a lot safer for everyone.

Our house is starting to feel a little tight- it's about 1,600 sq ft and our bedrooms are 2 large ones upstairs, 2 small ones downstairs with a full bath on each floor. Right now, the girls share the biggest bedroom but I see that becoming a problem as they get older. We can always move them downstairs, but I'm not sure how comfortable we feel with that. The biggest issue is the school district- they are going through a lot of consolidating and I don't know if that's going to be good or bad. DH has a new teaching job in the top district in our area- it's tough not to want to move there but houses are at least $300K and taxes are double what we pay now.. once DD#2 is out of day care, it'll be manageable and we'll easily have 20% to go towards the down payment with the sale of our current home (we also have substantial savings for emergencies, vacation fund, 401K, 403b, 2 pensions, fully funded Roth IRA accounts, and 529 plans for the girls). 

It's just figuring out that balance- do we just keep moving up or do we stay where we are, get the mortgage paid off quickly, travel more, retire early. We aren't really keeping up with anyone necessarily.. just trying to decide what is best for the girls' schooling/home life/having our own bathroom away from 2 teenage girls in 10 years... that kind of stuff.   

hoffse

This is a real challenge for us in the legal profession.  There are some things we have to do to keep our jobs, such as dress appropriately.  My H's firm is silk stocking, and Jos A Bank won't cut it there.  He tried it and was told, "We pay you enough to shop at Brooks Bros."  Fair enough.  So now we do the Brooks Bro outlets for him, which is a good compromise between discount suit places and the flagship stores.  We try to offset some of those costs by shopping good sales, keeping everything very neutral so he can wear the same thing over and over again, etc.  But wearing suits for 12-14 hours per day means that we do spend a lot on clothing, particularly men's clothing.  Our solution has been to create a sinking fund for this, and we have come to view like any other annual due or fee that must be paid.

One place we do splurge is on parking for him.  We can walk to each other's offices, and my firm pays for my parking... so we could carpool if we really needed to.  But any given day one of us has to stay late or arrive very early, and it would keep the other one stranded or reliant on uber to get to/from home.  This happens on average 1-2 times per week, so paying for parking for him has been worth it to avoid that kind of situation.  

We both have iPhones, but our firms give us a phone stipend and pay for our plans.  I actually made money the last time I traded in my phone because I sold my old phone for a couple hundred and the phone stipend was more than the new phone cost.

We have spent a lot remodeling our house, but we have picked our battles and done a lot of DIY that our friends would never have taken on.  What we spent on the house itself was piddly compared to what our peers have been spending.  We bought a less expensive house with 2 attorney incomes than many of our friends have spent with 1 attorney income.  We did that intentionally because we knew our house needed work, but we are close to being done with it.  Then we'll just be sitting on a cheaper mortgage for however long we stay here.  

We also drive more boring cars than many of them (Hondas).  Most of our friends have BMW's or Lexus SUV's.

We do travel a LOT more than they do, so that's where we make up for it.  I'm usually the one that plans these trips and H just comes along for the ride  I work deals whenever I can (and I have scored some pretty sweet ones), but I'm also willing to just drop money in this category for places we really want to visit.  It's like, if I'm flying to Madrid, I'm not going to say, "Oh we can't go to Barcelona because train tickets are expensive."  Once we have decided we are going to Madrid, I don't really care what the train tickets cost to see the places we want to see.  Also, I really don't set a budget for hotels.  I pay with points/free nights whenever possible, but we don't plan our trip around hotels where we can use points, and if there aren't any good options where we want to visit, then we pay out of pocket.  I particularly enjoy boutique hotels and will pay a little more for those.

So we have experienced some significant lifestyle creep in the last few years - but our income also went up a LOT.   Frankly, we work really hard, and hoarding every penny to live like college kids isn't something we are interested in doing.  We still save nearly 20% of our gross incomes for retirement and save an additional 25% of our take-home to grow our bank accounts.  We also are on track to pay off over $200K of student loans in 7 years.  So yeah, I'm happy to spend the rest of it, as long as we are spending it on things we really care about.

cbee817

hoffse said:

We also drive more boring cars than many of them (Hondas).  Most of our friends have BMW's or Lexus SUV's.

If it helps, my cousin-in-law was a sales manager at a BMW dealership and she said their cars are the biggest rip offs for any luxury brand, but people just keep buying them because of the name. My former boss had a Mercedes SUV and it was one of the most uncomfortable seats I've ever had to sit in (we used to drive to our HQ together a few times a month). Can't say much about Lexus other than a friend had an SUV and traded it in for a Forester a few years later... he said it wasn't worth the $ for the quality of the vehicle. 

smerka

I became a SAHM mom and kind of stopped caring. I hated day care as a kid so it was important for me to stay home. I am also an older mom (had kids at 36 and 37). I have no idea how some of my mom friends do it (new minivans, Disney trips every year, lots of trips to Target, etc) so I just assume they all have massive credit card debt. Most of my husbands friends are in their early 40's without kids and quite successful (we actually had to look up what salary puts you in the top 1% of wage earners this weekend to settle an argument). My husband is a teacher so while we live a comfortable lifestyle, we are no where near the top 1%. It was quite embarrassing when one of them handed my husband some money after turning our AC colder. But we keep our house warmer for environmental reasons not financial so it made me laugh. But really I think I'm just at a place in my life where I don't care what other people have, do, or think.

jtmh2012

hoffse said:

So we have experienced some significant lifestyle creep in the last few years - but our income also went up a LOT.   Frankly, we work really hard, and hoarding every penny to live like college kids isn't something we are interested in doing.  We still save nearly 20% of our gross incomes for retirement and save an additional 25% of our take-home to grow our bank accounts.  We also are on track to pay off over $200K of student loans in 7 years.  So yeah, I'm happy to spend the rest of it, as long as we are spending it on things we really care about.

This is where we're at.  We upgraded houses when we moved up here for my new job, but we have the income to support it and still pay it off early if we so choose.  Technically, we could have it paid off in 6 yrs if we wanted and still splurge a little.  We still fund 2 401ks (6% each), 2 Roth IRAs (max allowed by IRS), and have a college fund going for the little one.

We try to spend money smartly where possible and we're not rich by any means, but do have enough money to pay the bills and have money left over.

Sometimes, we feel like we're the Joneses that all of our friends are trying to keep up with.  I guess it helps keep our lifestyle creep down, but in some ways it's frustrating.

jtmh2012

smerka said:

 It was quite embarrassing when one of them handed my husband some money after turning our AC colder. But we keep our house warmer for environmental reasons not financial so it made me laugh.

lol...I have a friend who makes it a point of pride to not turn his A/C on until as late in the summer as possible.  His house is usually about 80F if not more.  Part of it with him I think is financial, but I think he also just gets cold easily.  He wears a coat when he comes to our house and it's only 75 or so.....

hoffse

jtmh2012 said:

This is where we're at.  We upgraded houses when we moved up here for my new job, but we have the income to support it and still pay it off early if we so choose.  Technically, we could have it paid off in 6 yrs if we wanted and still splurge a little.  We still fund 2 401ks (6% each), 2 Roth IRAs (max allowed by IRS), and have a college fund going for the little one.

We try to spend money smartly where possible and we're not rich by any means, but do have enough money to pay the bills and have money left over.

Sometimes, we feel like we're the Joneses that all of our friends are trying to keep up with.  I guess it helps keep our lifestyle creep down, but in some ways it's frustrating.

This is definitely true for us with respect to my lifelong friends.  Not so much with H's lifelong friends.  I grew up in a more rural community, so the notion of going to Europe every year is totally foreign to most of the people from my hometown.  H on the other hand grew up going to an Atlanta prep school, and he was the odd man out because his family didn't have a beach house.

Among our peers at work, we are definitely on the cheap side.  But I also don't assume that the others are outspending their incomes.  I get the impression that H and I save a lot more than they do, but I'm also not privy to their specific financial situation.  I recently learned that one friend whose wife stays at home had to file a 300-page tax return because his wife has partnership interests in multiple entities, REITs, etc.  She apparently has access to a ton of passive investment income.  I had no idea.  But that suddenly explained how they could afford what I perceived to be a really extravagant lifestyle on a single salary.  Neither of them had ever said anything about it before, so I always assumed (wrongly) that they were just putting it all on plastic.

You never really know.

vlagrl35

The fact that we live on a really tight budget keeps us from trying to be like those people.  Also the fact that we don't have any friends that live lavishly.  Our neighbors next door just bought all new appliances because they wanted them not cause they needed them.  we have a fridge that is from the late 1990s lol.  Whats more important to me is spending quality time with family and enjoy what I'm doing not materialistic things.  I SAH with DD so I don't work a full time job with benefits.  Thats way more important to me than buying things we don't really need.  I do however want an extra 1k a month so I can allocate more to our funds - home improvements, vacations, and retirement.  I'm pretty low maintenance. 

labro

I think H and I were definitely fighting the keeping up with the Joneses/income creep for awhile. We were making enough to not worry about a budget and just kind of spend whatever, whenever. But the high monthly credit card bills were really stressing H out so we found ourselves cutting back a ton and trying to live somewhat more simply while still splurging on a few things like vacations.

It's tough to go shopping with my mom for instance. She spends money like it's water and it's hard to take a step back and tell myself I don't really need all these things.

It helps us that we bought a small-ish home in an older neighborhood. Most of the people who live around us are pretty blue-collar and it helps keep things in perspective. I don't have friends and neighbors around me with brand new luxury cars, or people who hire out for cleaning and lawn services, etc.

julieanne912

I don't avoid it.  Both H and I are really terrible at it, he is worse than me.  It doesn't help we live in a neighborhood where most of the folks are older than us (ie are higher up in their careers and have more money).  

I've always liked nice things, they give me confidence (which I know is screwed up).  I had no issues with getting a job in high school so I could buy the stuff I wanted, have a nice car, etc.  My brother, on the other hand, is uber-frugal, he works just to pay his basic expenses and has no real interest in moving up in his career, all his furniture is from thrift stores, and while he has a newer car (2009 Forester) he's thinking of trading my mom for her 2001 Forester so he doesn't have to deal with the payments (which she is willing to take on to have a newer more reliable vehicle).  He sometimes makes snide remarks about the nicer stuff we have, which is a bit annoying.  We're on two totally opposite ends of the spectrum but it's interesting to see how personalities come into play with this sort of thing too.

Now, since the real estate crash and recession, I HAVE gotten better about it, because I had to.  When you go from making 6 figures one year, to under 30k the next, you just figure it out.  But, I still like to drive a nicer car, and I'm glad that H makes a good income so we can have a nice house etc.  I don't spend at all what I used to, but I wish I could!!  I get a bit angry sometimes when I can't buy something I want (again, realizing this is not healthy or rational).  

Also, assuming everyone has massive credit card debt isn't always fair.  When we bought our house, we had zero.  Even now, the 16k H has on cards was from putting in the front landscaping, utilizing some 0% offers, and they will be paid off before the promo period is up.  However, we don't save nearly enough.  We actually just had a conversation last night where he conceded that putting the money he's using to pay off the CC's (1700-2000/mo plus bonuses) would be good to put into an E-fund once he's done paying off the cards.  Baby steps LOL

short+sassy

One advantage to "getting old", at least for me, is I could care less what people think about me.  At least for strangers and acquaintances.  It's easy for me to "keep up with the Joneses" because I don't concern myself with what others have.  I've also seen it come to fruition.  The same friends who partied it up in their 20s and bought expensive clothes/shoes...might have grown up a bit, got married, and had kids...but haven't changed their spending habits.

Meanwhile, I've spent the last 15 years keeping my bills to a minimum.  Making smart purchases and keeping those to a minimum.  I look for and hustle to grab good paying, independent contracting gigs when I can.  One of which, turned into a very lucrative part-time job that I've been doing for the last 3 years.  So, yeah, it's been a lot of extra work on top of having a f/t job.  And there has been sacrifice , especially in my younger years.  I definitely wasn't perfect, but I always strove to at least make more money than I was spending, no matter how low my salary was.

The reward was I bought my personal home with 20% down.  But it's a duplex.  I again sacrificed having a house twice as big in order to be able to generate more income.  Now I'm able to "lighten" up on my spending.  I still keep my bills to a minimum.  I still hustle for side jobs, though not as much.  But now I have no qualms about buying whatever I want, within reason.  Plus I found my passion for real estate.

The greatest reward is yet to come.  Early retirement in 3 years, if not sooner.  No amount of daily Starbucks, new BMW every few years, or high end custom built home is better than that.  At least to me.  And THAT is what keeps me going.  That is what keeps my spending in check.  Because none of what I have done so far and will continue to do to achieve my ultimate goal, would have been/be possible if I'd allow my expenses to creep up at the same rate as my income.

I think that is one of the things I like about this board.  We might all have different money styles.  We might all have different items we splurge on.  We might all different retirement/savings plans and levels.  But we all have one thing in common.  Mindful spending and budgeting to achieve our financial goals.  

formerlyjessica490

We just try to be financially smart and buy only what we need and things that we will use for years to come. Regadless of income increases over time, we just want to have our house fixed up just the way we want it, and then focus on savings for retirement and vacations with some fun on the side

Xstatic3333

I'd put "lifestyle creep" and "keeping up with the Joneses" in two different categories.  We really could care less what our friends and family think about our lifestyle as long as they know that we're self-sufficient.  We are guilty of lifestyle creep, though.  H keeps wanting nicer and nicer cars, though I guess his Impreza is still technically "reasonable."  I keep wanting to travel more and more, but it's because I want to, not to show it off.  We fight it by living in a very reasonably priced home, keeping to a strict budget, and "paying ourselves first" with our savings and retirement contributions.  I know that our current normal is going to be changing a whole lot as our priorities shift, and that will be a good thing.  As much as I love travel I won't compromise savings, retirement, and family security for it, so for the next few years our trips will probably be pretty budget.  

I do think our friends and family, particularly H's family, sometimes have questions about our travel to house ratio.  Our house is neat and well maintained, but small, simple, and out of date stylistically.  Many in his family can't fathom why would do a trip to Europe before updating the kitchen, but hey, the kitchen works and we're only young once.  

KAdams767

DH and I are pretty balanced about things like this.  Our lifestyle has nothing to do with keeping up appearances or matching up with what others in our income bracket do or have and we focus on what is important to us, personally. 

Saving money is important and we watch our spending, but I'm also not willing to forgo fixing or replacing things just to save a few dollars unless we really can't afford it.  Everyone has different priorities and that's fine, I am not calling you out or anything, but the example used above about using a phone with a cracked screen is a good example for me.  I'm just not willing to live with that kind of thing anymore now that I can afford not to.  I grew up pretty poor and never really had anything "nice" until I was in my late 20s, and I was constantly dealing with cheap and broken goods, so now that I am in a better position in life, I have no issue buying or doing things that cost more if I truly use/want/need them.  I don't buy a lot of "stuff", and I don't buy anything I can't afford easily, but I am in a place financially that the aggravation that comes with some of these things just isn't worth whatever "savings" they bring in the moment.  I am really thankful that I can say that, though.  It has been a long road to get here.

Even though our income has increased a lot from our days of being broke newlyweds, I don't think we have had much lifestyle creep.  It probably helps that our daily lives just aren't particularly spendy, so we are free to allocate extra income to bigger, one time expenses and experiences without noticing much.  We literally go M-F usually without spending any money most weeks. 

als1982

We definitely don't care about keeping up with the Joneses, or anyone else for that matter. With the exception of travel, we live in far smaller and very sparsely furnished homes, drive older cars, and just spend less on stuff in general, all while making far more than our family and friends. We essentially live the same lifestyle now that we did right after getting married, making half of what we do now.

brij2006

In a way, we are the Jones'.  We're always doing projects to our house, we have 2 very flashy sports cars that people think are worth a ton of money (1 is worth what most people pay for their daily drivers, the other is only worth $3k. It just looks nice), and we do go on pretty lavish vacations (Hawaii, Dominican Republic, and many other weekend trips. Just Ohio this past weekend and Missouri 2 weeks ago). We do all of this without debt and without it affecting our retirement or long and short term savings goals. We aren't afraid to let people know that we work hard so we can play hard in the areas that are most important to us.  But we also live in a rural small town.  We're considered the "rich people" in our town, because we bought and remodeled an old Victorian, have nice cars, and are always doing things to the exterior of our house. 

But what people don't see is that we don't eat out, I don't buy clothes at the mall and only buy what we need, DD's entire nursery is 2nd hand (with the exception of the $15 Ikea nightstand), we don't have cable, we don't pay people to fix our cars (H is mechanically savvy), and we don't pay anyone to do things to our house.  We've done all of the remodeling ourselves, even though it takes a lot longer than if we paid to have it done.

We do have a few Jones' around us, but they are financed to the gills.  We don't try for 2 seconds to keep up with them.  It just isn't worth it.  They're always asking us to go out to eat at fancy restaurants to drink a lot and order every course of a meal.  When we tell them we can't afford to go, they try to ask us how we can't since we have no debt.  But it just isn't a priority to us.  We invite them over for homemade pizzas and beer/wine instead.  

I think it's helped that we are open and blunt about our financial goals.  We aren't afraid to tell friends and family that we don't eat out much and would rather pad our vacation fund or pad our retirement instead of having cable again or paying someone to remodel our house. 

We also don't live in an updated home in a nice town or subdivision either.  Our town has 800 people, so it's definitely small.  We've been looking at moving closer to H's work and civilization, and we're trying to find houses that are in the low end of the neighborhood that need a bit of updating.  Many people don't understand why we're looking at such "dumps," especially when we plan to stay for 20+ years. But we know that's where we can get the most bang for our buck and get into a great neighborhood and great school district for our kids, without going house poor. 

In the end, it's all about perspective. 

bmo88

KAdams767: I agree that I won't skimp out on things like repairs or buying quality. That's true for about 98% of things I own (cloths, furniture, house items). 

My phone is a unique situation though. I am really bad with phones (drop them all the time) and I call very few people (my mother mostly) and text a handful of others. So a phone ranks very low on my priority list.

I used to have an iphone, but once companies went to "leasing phones," I saw no point in paying $30 a month for two years or paying $300-$500 for a phone. Just not worth it, even though I can afford it. I'd rather put that money in retirement or toward a vacation.

I will likely replace my cracked go phone in the next few months when I have the time, but it doesn't actually bother me. I could see it bothering others, but it give me zero frustration or concern, so why waste my money when I know I will eventually break the next one.

I grew up in a low income family of five and we didn't usually have nice things, so I kind of normalized to it. My mother used to buy really cheap stuff though and it would break or wear out fast. So we have switched to buying quality items that last a long time. Except for a phone (for me, DH is different), can't convince me a phone is worth more than a $30 one time purchase. 

Mustard76

I, too, think of lifestyle creep and "keeping up with the joneses" separately. H and I are certainly guilty of lifestyle creep. Our income has more than doubled in the last 5 years, but so have our expenses. Almost 100% of that is housing, though. We just had a conversation last night about not buying a house next time we move. So far, our housing expense has doubled with each move, and I'm sure our real estate luck will run out at some point. As far as keeping up with others, I don't really care about what people think of our finances or our belongings. It's important to me to like where I live, but I don't care what anyone else thinks about it. We bought our house because we like it, not to impress anyone else.

cbee817

bmo88 said:

I used to have an iphone, but once companies went to "leasing phones," I saw no point in paying $30 a month for two years or paying $300-$500 for a phone. Just not worth it, even though I can afford it. I'd rather put that money in retirement or toward a vacation.

Not sure what plan you have, but DH and I get new iPhones every 2 years with Sprint... we trade in our old ones and it costs $0 (after we buy it, turn in our old ones, and get reimbursed for the trade in). I've never spent $300-$500 for a phone or $30/month to lease one.. if I had to do that, I wouldn't have a smart phone! 

KAdams767

bmo88 said:

KAdams767: I agree that I won't skimp out on things like repairs or buying quality. That's true for about 98% of things I own (cloths, furniture, house items). 

My phone is a unique situation though. I am really bad with phones (drop them all the time) and I call very few people (my mother mostly) and text a handful of others. So a phone ranks very low on my priority list.

I used to have an iphone, but once companies went to "leasing phones," I saw no point in paying $30 a month for two years or paying $300-$500 for a phone. Just not worth it, even though I can afford it. I'd rather put that money in retirement or toward a vacation.

I will likely replace my cracked go phone in the next few months when I have the time, but it doesn't actually bother me. I could see it bothering others, but it give me zero frustration or concern, so why waste my money when I know I will eventually break the next one.

I grew up in a low income family of five and we didn't usually have nice things, so I kind of normalized to it. My mother used to buy really cheap stuff though and it would break or wear out fast. So we have switched to buying quality items that last a long time. Except for a phone (for me, DH is different), can't convince me a phone is worth more than a $30 one time purchase. 

I get it, like I said, everyone has different priorities.  I just meant that, for me personally, having a broken phone would drive me insane.  It would be worth whatever the cost is to repair or replace it, especially if it is only $30.  :-)  I am cheap about certain things, so I get it, but now that I can afford not to be cheap about EVERYTHING, it's nice to be able to replace things without constant worry about it breaking the bank or try to fix things and hope it works.   

bmo88

KAdams767 said:

bmo88 said:

KAdams767: I agree that I won't skimp out on things like repairs or buying quality. That's true for about 98% of things I own (cloths, furniture, house items). 

My phone is a unique situation though. I am really bad with phones (drop them all the time) and I call very few people (my mother mostly) and text a handful of others. So a phone ranks very low on my priority list.

I used to have an iphone, but once companies went to "leasing phones," I saw no point in paying $30 a month for two years or paying $300-$500 for a phone. Just not worth it, even though I can afford it. I'd rather put that money in retirement or toward a vacation.

I will likely replace my cracked go phone in the next few months when I have the time, but it doesn't actually bother me. I could see it bothering others, but it give me zero frustration or concern, so why waste my money when I know I will eventually break the next one.

I grew up in a low income family of five and we didn't usually have nice things, so I kind of normalized to it. My mother used to buy really cheap stuff though and it would break or wear out fast. So we have switched to buying quality items that last a long time. Except for a phone (for me, DH is different), can't convince me a phone is worth more than a $30 one time purchase. 

I get it, like I said, everyone has different priorities.  I just meant that, for me personally, having a broken phone would drive me insane.  It would be worth whatever the cost is to repair or replace it, especially if it is only $30.  :-)  I am cheap about certain things, so I get it, but now that I can afford not to be cheap about EVERYTHING, it's nice to be able to replace things without constant worry about it breaking the bank or try to fix things and hope it works.   

Oh absolutely, I get it! My co-workers constantly give me flack about my phone. It's actually a running joke and now I almost feel so determined to keep it, just to prove a point. It doesn't make sense, but I am dug in. Lol. 

There are so many things that I don't understand why people go cheap on when they can afford it, but lots of people don't understand why I go cheap on my phone. So I guess it goes both ways.

Just a difference in priorities.

jtmh2012

hoffse said:

 

I recently learned that one friend whose wife stays at home had to file a 300-page tax return because his wife has partnership interests in multiple entities, REITs, etc.  She apparently has access to a ton of passive investment income.

Wow!  I just can't imagine a 300 page tax return.  Would love to have that kind of passive income though!

hoffse

I think the point about lifestyle creep vs. Joneses is a really good one.  When I think of "keeping up with the Joneses" I imagine buying stuff I don't need, care about, or particularly like, just so that I'm matching what other people are doing.

Lifestyle creep is about having the resources to do/buy things you want and suddenly you aren't stopping yourself as much as you used to.

I have no trouble avoiding the Joneses thing because my interests don't line up with theirs 90% of the time.  I'm not a sports fan so don't need tickets to games or season passes.  I like to golf, but I'm fair weather, so a country club membership is not practical.  I hate sand, so a beach house has never been appealing.  I don't care about or notice cars at all.  The Joneses where I live have all of these things, and many of them are totally unappealing to me.

But lifestyle creep, sure.  I had two part-time jobs in law school.  When I finally started practicing my income went up 9-fold.  You had better believe I have had lifestyle creep, but I have also been really intentional about it.  

It's impossible to know whether other people are really outspending their incomes or not, and I get so annoyed when I'm judged for my financial choices by people who don't know the whole picture.  I get judged at work all the time for being cheap.  And then I get judged every time we book a trip because of how extravagant it is.  So which one am I?  Cheap or spendy?  I get flack for both - sometimes from the same people!

LillibetteV

We don't keep up with the Joneses but I've noticed a little bit of lifestyle creep. Lifestyle creep for us has mostly been more travel and restaurants - particularly lazy girl takeout (like the nearly $20 I've spent just today on breakfast and lunch because I had to leave the house before my normal wake-up time and didn't get my act together to plan to take food with me). 

As @hoffse said I just don't care about a lot of the same stuff as the Joneses! We spend our money on what's really important to us. Our house is in a fantastic location, but it's most definitely not the nicest one in town; for us the spot was more important so I'll deal with yellow formica counters and blue toilets as long as I can walk everywhere and have awesome neighbors. We had very mixed reactions when we sold our second car - most people couldn't comprehend why we'd sell a car that didn't have a loan payment since it was "free". Uh...no it's not free! I still had to insure, register, inspect, gas, and maintain that sucker and we didn't use it enough to make the money worth it to us anymore! And then these same people wonder how we were just able to cash-flow a 10 day trip Europe. The only thing I sometimes feel like I should step up is dressing for work - I often stretch the meaning of business casual lol. No one has said anything and it hasn't held me back at all, but I could do better. I see women dressed all adorably and wish I handled mornings better to have time for that! 

hoffse

@Lillibette, I will second you on the dressing better thing.  I do need to make more of an effort there, I'm just lazy in the mornings.

H has been trying to get me to spend more on clothing so that I'm not always feeling frumpy or out of place.  It's been a slow adjustment, but I'm finally getting to where I buy fewer things that make me feel confident, instead of a lot of things that are a good price but make me feel meh.

bmo88

hoffse: I have the same issue! I became the Executive Director of my organization last July and all of the sudden, it's felt like I am expected to dress better than before because I meet with a lot of foundations, businesses and individual donors. I have had a few colleagues and friends comment on it. I am not into fashion or fancy clothes.

My middle ground has been buying a few good pieces from Ann Taylor. Not high end, but I have found they are pretty good quality and hold up pretty well. But my wardrobe has a long way to go in terms of upgrading. 

csuave

We don't.  I have no desire to compare us to other people.  We also have the majority of our friends in similar or lower SES standing to us and no one that we hang out with is really very flashy.  We probably make more than most of our friends but I'm not sure and not really concerned with it.

This probably applies more to me than H.  I'm not at all materialistic.  I bought my wedding dress off of Craigslist for example.  H on the other hand likes shopping and I think he worries about what other people think at times. 

short+sassy

Just wanted to give a shout out to my fellow MMers who aren't "morning people".  I literally didn't bring my lunch today because I didn't have an extra 1-2 minutes to just grab it out of the fridge and throw it in a bag, lol.

LillibetteV

short+sassy said:

Just wanted to give a shout out to my fellow MMers who aren't "morning people".  I literally didn't bring my lunch today because I didn't have an extra 1-2 minutes to just grab it out of the fridge and throw it in a bag, lol.

Been there, done that, it will probably happen again this week lol. I was on top of mornings when our dog was a puppy since he'd need to go out - but now he's perfectly happy to sleep late with me. I need a new tactic to get my act together lol

vlagrl35

short+sassy said:

Just wanted to give a shout out to my fellow MMers who aren't "morning people".  I literally didn't bring my lunch today because I didn't have an extra 1-2 minutes to just grab it out of the fridge and throw it in a bag, lol.

I'm not a morning person either  When I use to work in a corporate office I would make all my lunches on Sundays.  I would also do all my ironing on sundays for the work week.