Holidays
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Where do we go for the BIG DINNER?
Problem solved...
Mom said we can do it on Friday. So he has a choice, split on Thursday or go to both places. Everybody's happy.
Thanks for ALL the support.
Don't bother...the vitriol got pretty nasty here, but quite entertaining when you have the time.
We're going to do Thanksgiving at my parents on Friday if he wishes to and I will go to whatever functions there are on his side on Thursday. I'll make sure I'm stocked up on Xanax though!
I'm a little bit late to this post...and I'm also brand new on the nest...but it seems to me that one of the things you dislike about your mother-in-law (henceforth to be referred to as MIL) is a trait that you also seem to have....a lack of interest in compromise.
You asked not for advice, but our opinions...so here is my opinion:
You and your dear husband (henceforth referred to as DH) need to find a compromise. I get that the current system isn't working (both sets of our parents are divorced=4 houses to go to just to see parents) but this needs to be resolved between you and DH in a way that makes both of you happy...nevermind how his or your parents feel about is, as a new family unit, it's up to the two of you to decide what works for your new little family.
No one on a message board can tell you how to work it out...they can offer possible solutions, or different ways of trying to avoid all the travel., but in the end....you and DH need to hash it out.
You seem pretty set in spending Thanksgiving with just your parents, and so that works for you, and your parents, but how does it work for DH? Once you said "I DO" his feelings and thoughts on the situation earned equal weight to your own feelings. If your marriage is going to last, then you and DH need to learn the art of compromise. Compromise isn't about giving in, or becomming Mrs. Cleaver, or sumbitting to your husband...it's about working with your husband to find a solution that you both can live with. It may mean not always getting your own way, but it also means DH doesn't always get his own way either.
When I got married, my husband became my primary family, and therefore spending the holidays with my family (read: my husband) became my primary objective. As a family DH and I will decide when, where and how long we will visit our 4 sets of 8 parents, 4 sets of 8 grandparents and our 50+ aunts and uncles.
You are correct...someday your parents will be gone...in their 60's that may not be for another 20 years....willl your marriage last all 20 of those years? They may also be gone in 2 years...leaving your inlaws as your only living family....hopefully by then you haven't alienated them to the point that you aren't welcome at holidays....causing you to spend the holidays after the deaths of your parents completely alone while DH goes and enjoys his family.