Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: difficulties in bed, advice please.
He buys a rose before the other is dead? You dont wear make up because your not into the "girly stuff"?
This post is awkward.
You don't marry yer prom date. That's usually an unspoken rule of thumb.
And that you'll stay with him if he's a lousy lover? Sheesh...that's really letting yourself in for trouble and selling yourself mighty short, no matter wht your age is.
I haven't read all of the comments, but after reading many of them I did not see one person bother to address your question. Your age and whether you are in a lifetime relationship or just a long-term one don't matter in the situation you are describing. Your question is how to keep the flame going, which is an important part of any serious relationship.
It sounds to me that the problem is stemming from his exhaustion. When my DH is overworked I pamper him. I don't try to converse about my sexual frustrations. Instead I cook him a nice meal, curl up in the buff to watch a movie, and caress him a lot.The key is to help him feel as relaxed as possible and show him that you are supportive and thankful for all that he is doing to help make a life for the two of you.
This has worked wonders during weeks when we are both busy and tired. Just being relaxed and sexual with each other can sometimes spark the energy needed for the actual deed. Sometimes it doesn't and we just fall asleep, but we are both more relaxed and feel more satisfied. I wish you the best of luck!
Where I live, you don't go to prom until your senior year (unless you are going with a senior). So she may not have even gone to prom yet! Awesome.
Too mature for capital letters?
Or punctuation!
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
Much less grammar.
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okay, I've gone through all of the posts and you've gotten some really good advice and some well deserved roasting. I'm going to add my two cents to the pile.
At 15 I was engaged to a 21 year old. that ended before I turned 17 (thank God)
At 19 I was engaged to a 40 year old. again that ended (i had a praying mother)
At nearly 37 I am now married to a fabulouse man who is the total opposite of what i wanted at 15 and 19. When I look back I see them as pedafile but that's just me.
1) He's working 2 jobs. He's probably tired. 2) If you have an ulcer you are probably agravating it by being concerned about his lack of sex drive. 3) As for the wedding, wait until you are finished with school (college). You would be surprised by how much you can afford with a college education for the both of you. 4)CUMMUNICATION is the key to all relationships no matter who it's with.
Now on to the advice you asked for: try running him a bath, serve fresh fruit and chocolate, give him a massage and put him to bed. you'd be amazed at how appreaciative he is by something so small. After doing this or something simular he might be willing to and have enough energy to think of your needs. But right now think of his needs first.
I completely agree with this. I am 22 and will be getting married in two months. I have also been with my fiance for the past 5 years starting when we were both just 18. We have grown in maturity, and we have learned how to communicate with each better since we started dating in high school. We attended the same undergrad and will be attending the same graduate school, but we have had to spend a lot of time apart, (he graduated highschool early and we spent my senior year of highschool and this senior year of college separated). There is nothing wrong with being in a comitted relationship at 18, but it is important that you learn to communicate with him. You have to be willing to sacrifice, ask for what you need, comprimise, and understand that not everyone sees love the same way.
You like to be physically intimate and you like to receive gifts from him- maybe he doesn't realize that those are the things you need from him to know he loves you. What other ways can he show you he loves you? And find out from him what things you can do to show him that you love him. "5 languages of love" is excellent supplemental reading for relationships. It's not dry and what you could learn from it might help you stay together when others would split up.
Where did you learn to cummunicate?
It's fascinating, and yet predictable, how all of the young ones are telling the OP that she shouldn't listen to the people telling her that 19 is too young to be married. Of COURSE the young ones will say that...they haven't been around long enough to have the necessary life experience to be able to see how much they will change before they are 25.
Why are you getting married if the process will stress you out so much you have to leave school for a year? Don't say because you want to be married- if you wanted to be married, it wouldn't give you an ulcer just planning it.
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All right, here is my last post that I will ever do on this stupid site because most of you ladies are annoying and useless. This is what I have to say I do not give dam what you say back.
To Zitiqueen:
If the question that you threw a fit about was: ?What is the harm in waiting??, I figured it was useless to answer it since I said I will not wait, but if you will shut the h3ll up if I give you my reply you can have it. No there is no harm in waiting. In fact I do not even need the financial help for college that I will get when I become married. I want to marry him in 2011. I see no reason why I should not marry him in 2011. I am going to marry him someday and we can afford it so why not when I want to. HELLO, it is my dam wedding. You had your wedding so let me have mine when I want it. Sarcasm is not in any school's curriculum, idiot. About what TarponMonoxide wrote saying how I am too young to be living with someone and in a long term commitment; the Nest is basically for women who are living with their significant other. If in her opinion I am to young to be married and living with someone, than she obviously thinks I am too young to be on this board. No she did not actually say that but it is easy to tell what she meant.
To JustDuckyDancer:
I did not get the ulcer from planning the wedding. Honestly I have not even truly started planning (except deciding the date). I received the ulcer because of all the stress from previous things (that I honestly do not care to tell you about). It is extremely creepy that you are watching me, and telling most of you ladies how dam annoying and useless you have been is not as entertaining as it sounds.
To C8linr:
I am sorry about the issues you have been having. I do not know about you but I have been living on my own and making all my own decisions for over a year, and even before I moved out I was taking care of myself. I have been listening to them, however most of them are not helping, which makes them useless to me. I know who I am and I am not one of those party girls who think ?When I have a bad hair day the world will end.?, or some such silliness. I am not My FI?s girl, he does not own me and I do not own him. However he is my world, best friend, and love of my life. I do not expect him to have the exact same sex drive as me. I would like it if we had close to the same sex drives, but I love him for him, not the sex that we share. Since I am not really a romantic person I do not expect him to be romantic. The only reason why I tried to get him to be romantic again is because I thought it might help him get into the mood.
To Smock.smock:
He did not really scold me for not having my homework done, he just worries about it way more than I do and knows that it is bad for me to wait until the last minute to do it. That was probably our first and only, as of now, fight about it. We normally are able to sit down and kind of talk about it. It is not that he does not want to figure out what is wrong he just can not think of any solutions for it. We did start dating when I was 17 (sophomore year) and he was 21, we met through my oldest brother and since my parents personally knew him they were happy to allow us to date. I know our relationship is not perfect. I am not stupid, we disagree, argue, fight, or whatever you want to call it at times. Thank you for the advice and I will think on that and we will see if there is something that is up or if he just too tired because he works so much.
To LittleMissWifey:
That is absolutely your opinion. However I see no reason why I should not marry him. A friend of mine got married when she was just barely 18 and she has been married for over 11 years. And I also know of people who have waited until they were in their mid 20's to be married and they still got divorced less than ten years afterword. About the whole "skool" thing, I am so sorry that I have friends that I TXT, unlike you since you are too dam old. I am not dropping out; I am only waiting a year and half to start college and to make up what for that time, I will take summer classes so that I can graduate with the rest of my class.
To SpanishMandi:
I am on regular medication for my ulcer. I take one twice a day and another four times a day. It will be with me for however long it wants to be, I can not change it. I may have it for over 30 years or it could end at the end of this year. The only thing I can do is take my medicine for it, try to not get stressed out, and wait. I am thrilled for you, that is great. I agree it is absolutely possible that I am not meant to get married in 2011, and if so than God will break us up. Have I seen it all and done it all? Nope, but I am fine with that because I know who I am. I realize that our relationship will not always be sun shine and rainbows, and that WE are going to have to work hard to last forever.
To Imoan:
I have no idea what you think is sarcastic and I honestly do not give a dam because you are annoying. How the h3ll does punctuation involve maturity. Maturity is about making the right decisions. Not using correct punctuation is nothing like not going to or quitting work because you are too lazy to get you up. That is f*cking bull. Are you always grammatically correct? Are you so dam perfect that you have the right to be a b*tch?
To Marloney77:
I own lingerie and he likes what I buy but it does not help get him into the mood. I could be on the bed in something sexy and it will not change if he wants to do it or not. I realize that not all high school sweethearts last. I know that very few people marry their first love, however unless God wants to interfere with our relationship (I do not know why he would, but life happens) we will get married in 2011. I love my grass just the way it is, I may want to change it but I can live with it like this and be perfectly fine.
To Katelaff:
First of all I live in a house (long story short, two of our friends got a house, realized it was too big and offered to have us live with them and split all the bills), I afford it really easy. If we break up I will just go sleep in one of the guest rooms and move on. I have been cheated on before, it will not change my friendship with him, I just would never date him again. I may have a bad job but I make enough money to be fine.
To anhg80:
Thank you very much for the advice I will keep what you said in mind. Thank you also for not mentioning my age. However I think it is rude of you to think I will not take your advice, since I have been asking people to give theirs to me. I want advice about how to make it work, and I refuse to just assume that it will fail with out trying. I know my FI tries and he will do anything to make it work, he just does not know what to do to help fix the issue.
To Tarpon Monoxide:
I realize that not all religiously-based relationships work and I do regret posting that. However we both were raised, that after many years the love fades (it does not die though) a little and when that happens you need to fall back on the friendship. He is my very best friend. Even before we started dating he was there for me and I was there for him. It is your opinion that my relationship is over with, however you do not personally know me or him so I do not honestly believe that your opinion matters. If you actually knew us and told me that, I would take it into consideration, but you do not. He is not my prom date, in fact since he would not have been able to go to prom with me, I skipped prom because I know that I would not have had fun without him. He is an amazing lover who, just because we do not always have sex does not mean he is not great at it. Would you leave your husband if you found out he was not a great lover? How would you feel if he left you because you were/are not a great lover? I understand that sex is healthy and needed for a healthy marriage, but leaving someone you love because you believe they are not up to your standards is f*cking bull.
To Strangebird:
I am not heading straight into marriage. Even though we were not engaged, we decided that we would get married one day, over a year ago. We have thought about when we would get married for almost a whole year. It is something we have looked at for a long time and thought over. I do not see how I earned all of this bull though. All I asked was for advice about my sex life, not about how I am marrying the wrong person and at the wrong time. I am sorry that you would not let me teach your kids. That is their loss, because all of my classes will be very educational but in a fun way. Just to let you know your grammar ISN'T perfect either.
To Mistyblue182:
Thank you very much.
To Kaesha:
I am taking a year off to take care of my health. I know that if I do not keep myself busy with something I am going to be extremely bored. A wedding, like most of these ladies have said, is not that hard to plan. It will be easy for me to just focus on work and the wedding. Even with as much as I work, since he knows the hours that he get at Swifty's he will keep that job until he can get promoted at Deaconess and be guaranteed 40 hours a week.
To Amanjay:
I do not and would not ever go to Castle. I go to North. As big and fancy as Castle may be, there are way too many people that are snobby, rich, drug addicts there. OMG, I'M F*CKING HUMAN AND MAKE GRAMMATICAL MISKTAKES. What the h3ll, I am not writing an English paper. Are you saying that you are perfect and that you never forget a comma or write something incorrectly? If Mr.Brancher would be appalled at my grammatical errors, I wonder what the f*ck he thinks of at least 75% of students these days. I am not rushing into the wedding. In fact I have been taking baby steps into it and making sure what we are doing is what we want. I know that my marriage will not be all about getting what I want. We realize that we are going to have to meet in the middle on things (for example sex.) Nothing worth having is easy.
To Magsugar13:
Do you even know what an ulcer is? Have you ever had an ulcer? Here are a few things to give you an idea of the pain. I have gotten broken glass in my hand and pulled it out personally. In the process of doing a back handspring I landed neck first (it had been a long day and the rest of my body was worn out) and spent several hours having to have someone help me move around because of the pain. When I jumped on to my FI's back while we were in the kitchen he leaned forward (assuming that I could hold on to him) and I landed on my back on the tile floor and when falling my foot hit the stove; because of the pain I could not sleep for a day. None of what I just mentioned comes close to the pain of my ulcer. You remind me of my counselor at the high school I attend (that is not a compliment.) Do you even know what half of the big words you used mean? You did not even complete your entire sentence!
To MrsP7309:
Thank you very much for the advice.
To Bubblygirl21:
That is your opinion. As I have told a few others, if you actually personally knew me than I would take your opinion into consideration. However you do not know me, so you honestly do not know how immature I really am.
To The_Quiet_One:
He tries not to dismiss my concerns, he just does not know what to do to help (which is why I came here for help). I realize that the fight was also my fault because he knows that I like to distract him from noticing my homework is not done. In the future if we are still having complications we will try counseling. What makes you think you are so dam perfect that you have every right to criticize her grammatical errors? What is this a dam English paper? Grammatical errors have absolutely nothing to do with maturity. That is f*cking bull. You need to get off your dam high horse.
To Audrey&Austin:
If I knew everything why the h3ll would I be asking for help? I am upset because I posted on here assuming that you all would be MATURE enough to accept for the fact I am 19 and engaged. I admit that I am being a b*tch, however I came on here asking for help with my sex life not what everyone thinks I should do next year. Of course I would let him beat up our kids, in fact, now that you mention it, I will even help. WTF, if I am not going to let him cheat on me of course I would not let him hurt the children. I am sorry for not mentioning that I assumed that people would be smart enough to realize that if I will not let him cheat on me I will not let him hurt our children or me. BAKA!!!
To Lissa832:
So I have a question for you: Can you drive and at the same time eat, drink, cook a four course meal, and juggle a circus clown? I believe that if you can not do all of those things at once than you have no right to be driving. Honestly I think it is very mature of me to realize my limits so I do not put anymore stress on my ulcer than I have on it now. It is great that you were able to do all of that stuff, however if I do all that you did that would destroy my ulcer. DO NOT BE TELLING ME TO SUCK IT UP! YOU DO NOT KNOW ME, B*TCH! We are not going to be having any kids until we both have steady jobs that can support a family and my ulcer is gone. One reason why we want to adopt is because we want children who are old enough to realize that if my ulcer does come back that even though I will be there for them, I will need them to be on their best behavior. I would never have a family that I know I could not take care of.
To Wallace84:
If it is not meant to be than God will call off the wedding. You are right, my marriage would be just as great if we went to the JOP, and I would not mind that what so ever (it would be a whole lot cheaper.) My FI however wants to have a nice wedding that most little girls dream of having. It is your opinion that it will be harder for me to go to college after marriage, I see it being neither harder nor easier. Like I have told a few others, I think it is absolutely great that you can do all of that stuff at the same time. Just because you can do that does not mean I have to be able to do all of that. It will be better for my body if I do not do all of it. That is like saying if I can give birth to a child, while playing Ninja Gaidin (without dying), and giving a class a lesson in algebra than you have to be able to do all of that all at once or else you are not ready to have a child. It is ridiculous that I have to be like everyone else and do things the way they did. I am me, not you. It is also like you said, we are all different, you might not have been able to afford a house when you were in your second year of college however if my FI gets a job in what he is majoring in we will have no problem affording a house my second year. Just because you could not have afforded a house back then does not mean that you had to live at home and have your parents pay for everything.
To Eouellet:
I have no idea why in the world I am offending you. That makes absolutely no sense on how I offend you. I realize you believe I am an idiot for not heading into college right away. It makes no sense on how I offend you by this choice. I absolutely believe that I could have all that on my plate, however I know that I have my limits and the less stress on my body the healthier I will be and hopefully the sooner my ulcer will leave. We do not have to get married in 2011 however we WANT to get married then. There is no reason not to get married. I will still go to college and graduate with the rest at the same time I would of if I went to college before the wedding. It is your opinion that it is foolish of me to take a year off. It is my opinion that you are f*cking retarded.
To MoLotus:
Thank you so much. I am sure he will love being pampered. I am going to try that first. I think it will help if I do all that stuff and make sure he knows that I do not want anything in return.
To Beaches2bayous:
It is not that neither of us can not have kids biologically, it is the fact that we want to adopt kids who we can take care of and still keep our jobs. It is absolutely possible that I could get pregnant and I would never have a miscarriage. If I have a baby, God will take care of my family. I will do everything possible to try not to get pregnant. I have been planning on marring him for over a year and until I got my ulcer I had planned on being Wonder Woman, however like I mentioned before, I know my limits. We have looked at where we will be in the future and if it would be an issue if we bought a house when I am in my second year and currently it will be fine and if things change in the future than we will still survive. I agree it is not normal for someone his age to not want sex all the time but he is not like most men his age (which is what I love about him.) Every couple has their fights. Marriage is not about just sunshine and rainbows, to stay together you have to work things out. I would rather fight with him as much as I do than have both of us hold it in and get into so bad that we spend a whole summer apart.
To MartiniChick01:
I am a senior. Prom was not worth my time. Why the h3ll are you such a b*tch? How do you f*cking know my relationship will not last? Even though it is uncommon, high school sweethearts do get married and stay together. BAKA!!!
To davessamantha1991@yahoo.com:
It is so great to hear from someone my own age. I am so happy for you. I wish you the best of luck. Thank you so much.
To Justlld:
That is ridiculous. When I think of maturity I think of common sense, realization of things, or instead of buying beer with your last bit of money, you pay rent. Lack of capital letters, punctuation, and other grammatical errors are the last thing on my mind to show maturity. BAKA!!!
To Marjoriemitchell:
Thank you for the advice. I am still sticking by when I am getting married and when I will go to college.
To l86amore:
I have been taking my time thinking this over. As I mentioned before we decided to get married over a year ago, I am not running into it. If the sex life gets worse, oh well. Things get worse sometimes before they get better. I also realize that it may never get better and I am fine with that.
To annabelle.27:
I absolutely WANT to marry him. I can not wait until the day I get to walk down the isle, stand next to, and marry my best friend. My ulcer is from other issues in my life that caused me to get an ulcer (plus the fact that I love salt.) What the h3ll would you say if I did tell you I wanted to get married in 2011 even though the stress of the wedding gave me my ulcer? Even if the whole wedding planning did give the ulcer, how would that affect that I wanted to get married in 2011?
Now for all of those annoying people complaining about how I am 19 and a senior. In a way I did get held back. My mother decided to have four children and even though she had time to teach my oldest brother a second language. She never let me go to preschool and would not teach me the stuff that you need to know to be accepted into kindergarten. Since she wanted me to go to kindergarten on time she made a deal with the principal and they agreed that if I went to kindergarten that year I would have to retake it next year. I do not just come out with because it is not something I like telling most people.
For those who think I am just too young to get married and my relationship will not last, you are wrong. A week after we started dating I got into a huge car wreck and even though my car got totaled I came out with only a few scratches. After that I realized I wanted someone that I wanted to be with forever. I called him that night and told him that I was looking for someone that I want to spend the rest of my life and if he could not see himself with me for forever no matter what I look like 20 years later, than all I wanted was nothing more than his friendship. Obviously he said he could see himself with me for forever and we discussed everything that we want in the future so we knew how our relationship would end. You say I am not mature enough for marriage. I believe that right there says that I am mature. While most girls my age were out getting drunk and going crazy I was with my FI and working a job. I am not jumping into this, I have thought everything through.
Honey don't flatter yourself. I wasn't watching you. It's called I clicked on this to read other people's replies and saw you were online.
A thousand apologies, you are indeed the epitome of maturity, grace and class.
And you still haven't answered what grade(s) you were held back to cause you to be a 17-year-old sophomore and graduate from high school (fingers crossed) at 19. Most kids get their drivers license their junior year; you could vote! Yay for you! So, did you vote?
Ziti, she repeated kindergarten.
Well, I'll give you credit, bluewolf, for responding to everyone. You're going to do what you want, obviously, so good luck.
Let me give you one last piece of advice, if you do decide to come back and read this. Your FI is much older than you. When you started dating, you were still a kid. I'm sure you felt mature at 17, but you were a sophomore in high school and sophomores are not known for their maturity. Your FI was 21. He'd been out of high school for at least a few years, he'd hopefully been working and going to college. He was much closer to adulthood.
I want you to be very aware of signs that there's a power imbalance in your relationship. This worries me: "I realize that the fight was also my fault because he knows that I like to distract him from noticing my homework is not done." It sounds like you have a parent-child relationship at times. He thinks it's his responsibility to make sure you do your homework, and you try to trick him into not noticing that you're not doing it?
I get the feeling that this sort of power imbalance happens in other areas, too. When you started dating he thought of himself as an adult and he thought of you as a child. You were a sophomore in high school! Please don't let him treat you like a child.
And I have to say that telling someone you want a "forever" partner at 17 after one week of dating is just--Arg.
I'm trying to be nice to you. So good luck.
You missed it- apparently you have to write entrance exams to get into kindergarten now.
OP: you missed my point entirely. Wedding planning isn't that stressful if you want to get married. If you're as excited as you claim to be, why are you planning on being so stressed? The only reason you'd be stressed is if you're having doubts. Shopping for wedding dresses and planning a menu is not stressful unless it's the marriage itself you are stressing out about.
You asked me what I'd say if you told me you wanted to go through with the wedding anyways? Well, I'd think you're an idiot. Your gut is telling you something. Listen.
In all honesty, I got married young. I've been married 5 years now and I'm happy. I have friends and family members who also married young and are still happy. It's not your age that bothers me- it's your obvious lack of maturity. When I was a young bride I wasn't on here calling everyone names and lying about the education guidelines in my area and planning to take a year off school to plan my wedding. I didn't spend three pages fighting with anyone because no one knew how young I was- my posts didn't scream my age because I acted like an adult. You are acting like a child.
To MartiniChick01:
I am a senior. Prom was not worth my time. Why the h3ll are you such a b*tch? How do you f*cking know my relationship will not last? Even though it is uncommon, high school sweethearts do get married and stay together. BAKA!!!
You obviously have reading comprehension issues as I never once said that I didn't think your relationship wouldn't last. I never even mentioned your relationship in my 2 posts. I mentioned prom and I mentioned how funny it was that all of the young ones are coming on here telling their stories and sticking up for you because they are too young to have enough life experience to realize how much they will change. Before you criticize others, you really need to know what they said!
You said prom wasn't worth your time. Why not? It's part of the process of growing up and having fun while you can. You may regret forcing yourself to grow up so soon. You may look back one day and wish that you had allowed yourself to do the things that most teenagers do. I'm not talking about parties, drinking, etc. Just the carefree lifestyle of being young and not having to pay bills, work full-time, etc. You will never have that opportunity again.
Honestly, I think that I was one of the less bitchy ones that replied to you, yet you called me a ***.
Oh, I admit my eyes glazed over about half-way through that diatribe and I missed that she did kindergarten twice (at least). I still think it's funny that she tried to tell us that there's an age requirement to start high school.
I agree with you. I missed out on a lot during my teen years. Somewhere around 23 I decided to experience some of the things I missed out on. I found out that you really can't go back.
bluewolf, you should enjoy being a child while you can.
One reason why we want to adopt is because we want children who are old enough to realize that if my ulcer does come back that even though I will be there for them, I will need them to be on their best behavior.
Holy Feck.
I missed that gem earlier.
Because you know that kids will always do what you ask them to do...especially when it comes to being on their best behavior. Also, when you adopt older children, they usually come with behaviorial issues. People don't usually give up children who are always on their best behavior. Older children who are moved around from home to home are going to have issues.
This is by far the most entertaining thing I have read in a long time.
OP, you're right - why on earth would anyone question your maturity? You are clearly wise beyond your years.
No, it's not an English paper, but we are communicating in written English, and the fastest way to get one's contribution to the board ignored is to make it essentially illegible.
And it's "damn." I don't think my high horse is *quite* high enough to stop a river.
I wish you luck. I hope that the two of you are happy together.
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Well, you just showed all of us how mature you are, didn't you?
Okay, Sugarpie, here are a few things I want to point out to you:
1. The reason people are harping on your grammar is that adults understand that egregious spelling and grammatical errors distract readers, which defeats your purpose of trying to communicate. Right or wrong, repeated errors that a high school senior should know better than to do by now makes you look like an idiot
2. Ya know, at times I think God protects us from ourselves, but then again, a lot of times He lets us make our own stupid decisions. I say the same thing of people who think that a spouse is going to land in their lap because of God without them putting forth any effort. To say that if your marriage isn't right God will somehow stop it makes you look (yes, I'll say it) na?ve and immature. People marry the wrong person all.the.time and get married at the wrong time constantly. To think that you're going to get cosmic intervention to stop you from marrying the wrong person or marrying too young is laughable. You have a brain. I'm pretty sure you have to use it.
3. Randomly typing (in all caps no less) *ahem* "you don't know me b*tch" certainly shows your maturity. Quit throwing tantrums, and maybe you'll be taken a bit more seriously.
4. College is more difficult after marriage. It just is. Like it or not, a marriage takes time. I love my husband more than anything, but I will tell you that completing the first year of graduate school at the same time I completed the first year of marriage put a strain on my marriage. Given, it's better now, but it's not a timing I'm sure I'd repeat. But then again, maybe the timing was good, seeing as I plan to continue on to my PhD. I know the marriage can take the stress of academia. Still, I can't imagine trying to get my bachelor's degree (and, like it or not, you do a shitton of maturing and growing in college) while being married. I'm a more focused version of the person I was when I got my bachelor's degree, which is an entirely different person from when I graduated from high school.
5. The partying, or lack thereof, is not a surefire indicator of maturity. Sweetheart, I didn't have a full glass of wine until I was twenty. To this day, I've never been drunk, and the only times I've stayed out until 2 a.m. in college involved decorating a campus statue, copious amounts of Dublin Dr. Pepper, and Krispy Kreme donuts. Hell, I didn't buy beer until I was 23, and that was for my father, who was coming to visit DH and I. I've always been prudent with my money. However, I can say without reservation that I needed the time to play in undergrad, and even at 24, I have a crap ton to learn.
6. I absolutely have an idea of how bad an ulcer hurts, seeing as my colon randomly decided to shed its lining last summer. For 24 hours, I had spasms that made the worst menstrual cramps I'd ever had and my broken neck look like pinpricks. I could barely eat for two days, and had to be thrown in the ER to get fluids and basic nutrients back in my body. And I still kncow that people live with a hell of a lot worse conditions than I've ever experienced.
7. Expecting kids to be on their best behavior is, frankly, ridiculous. Kids are kids, not monkeys to train, robots to program, or dolls to pose. They shouldn't have to be on tiptoe or walk on eggshells because Mommy finds life too damn overwhelming.
8. Skipping prom because you're too adult for it doesn't make you mature. It makes you shortsighted. You're young. Like it or not, you need time to play a bit. Did I think prom was a bit goofy at 17? Yep. Did I go and enjoy it anyway? Oh yes. It was a night for my friends and I to laugh, joke, and play, and gave me a ton of memories I still laugh over.
So, all of that to say, thanks for playing. I'll give you kudos for coming back and addressing anyone, but you're not helping your case sweetheart.
let me start off on that not every one who graduates from school is good in grammar if that's makes me immature then so be it. as for the age to get married it is our choice to make we live in the united states. plus i do not know how we even got on this she never once asked if her age was affecting her bedroom life. so please if you have no good advise stop entertain your selves on these posts. if you want to see who is immature read this post from beginning to end and see that only a few even gave advise on her problem. yes i do believe that most people are too young at 18 or 19 to get married but there are some people out there who aren't. all of my sisters got married young ranging from 16 to 19 and they are very happy. every relationship has its problem even marriage but to make any relationship work you always have to work on it nothing is perfect and if you say yours is then your just blind!! and before anyone jumps on my post my sister got married at 16 because she was a mother of a beautiful little girl. but she waited a few months after the baby was born because she wanted to make sure that her husband was the one she wanted to spend her life with. i my self do not agree that being pregnant is a reason for marriage. but it was her choice. the rest of my sister were 19 when they got married. so please do not sit there and tell someone they are to young to get married over and over again im sure she got it the first time you said it. i hope my grammar in this post does not offend anyone but im not going to sit her and right a damn report for you!!!
have a great day and a save weekend everyone