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Rape victims

That's so terrible..., but I can't help it.

Here's a link, there's no way I can upload them one by one here. I'd link to all of them, but the older ones haven't been edited so I just uploaded them all to shutterfly, sorry they're so small. (that's what he said).

So, this is what I've been up to.  :)
When you get to the rather awesome/different wedding invites of Breun and Jeremy, please note that I worked in collaboration with chickibaby's husband, a graphic designer, to create these bad boys.

 http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AbOGTNizZtmSv 

That's it, mangs.
Also, we decided on a bebe name - it's going to be Lauren.
And I decided on a business name - it's going to be All On Paper.
And if anyone else has any orders they would like to get in before the end of November, just let me know. After that, I have no idea how I'm going to do anything, let alone rape things.

Happy viewings. :)

«1

Re: Rape victims

  • I really wish I had a need for you raping skills. 

    they're beautiful.

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  • Goddamn, lady. Is there nothing you can't do? I wish I had a need for your services. I'll be 30 in two years. Can I contract you to do something then for my roller skating party? That's all I got. :(
    image

    Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
  • I started reading this and was all, whaaa? I are slow.

    They are so great! The Sarah & Anthony invites are gorgeous and they are all photographed fabulously! Are you working on a site?

    DSC_0768
    Claire Elizabeth 12/31/2011
    Married Bio
  • Hezz, you made that paper your biitch.

    Everything looks so good!  I love how elegant the wedding and bridal shower invites look and how whimsical and fun the baby birthday invites are.  I got a kick out of what you did with Grant's birthday invites. 
    And the invites for Sarah and Anthony are breathtaking (and I mean that in the good way, not the insult-disguised-as-a-compliment way).

    I dig the name Lauren.  Are you sticking with Linnea as a middle?

    Boo to All On Paper.  Boo, I say.  The Paper Raper just has such a better ring to it.  And think of all the free press you could get!

    image
    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • Wow Hezz, those are amazing!

    If you're back up to the raping come Jan/Feb, I'll have to tap you for some 1st birthday invites for Gwen.


    image
    Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

    Bloggity Blog - You know you want to...
  • I LOVE the font you used on Owen's invites! You are so talented it's ridiculous...

    I'm dying at the name Sarah Rose. "Sarah Rose knows...."

    image
    I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
  • Hezz - gorgeous!!  You are one talented lady!
    image Mabel the Loser.
  • Gracias!! Grassy Ass!!!

    Good feedback kinda makes all the long hours worth it! Sarah & Anthony's feedback from guests might be the best I've ever received. She keeps forwarding emails and texts and verbal praise and it's getting to the point I can't walk through doorways. I'm told I should start a business.  :)

    Moo, surely I'll make your 30th invites. (baby!!)

    Lauren Linnea... alliteration, eat your heart out.  Actually, what sold me was that she'll be LL Cool G.

    You know I prefer The Paper Raper. I wish it was kosher to make rape cool. It's such an awesome name. I'll DBA my sister invites under The Paper Raper.  :)

     

     

    eta - cmc, now that I have some downtime I can get started on my website. My cousin is doing it for me for free trade since I did all her paper stuffs for her wedding.  She's just been waiting on me for content.

  • Unrelated, but I can't believe Babbs' girls are going to be 1. WTF.
    image

    Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
  • Those are fan.freaking.tastic!

    Do you do all of the lettering and drawings?  If you say yes, that, on top of the fact that you fit a non-maternity size 4, makes me want to grab a gallon of ice cream and cry under my desk. 

    ETA - I realize a lot of it is computer generated/font, etc.  But, like with Grant's invites, did you do that, or did you find those images (aside from Grant's face of course)?

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Lauren! I love it.

    You guys, Hezz is awesome at assaulting paper. If you couldn't tell the 40th anniversary/Frank Lloyd Wright ones are for my parents (their condo has several FLW themed items so it's kind of their thing) and my mom cried when she saw them.

     

    image Ready to rumble.
  • God, you're talented.  I want to get remarried so I can hire you.

    image
    The nerve!
    House | Blog
  • Room for one more in your nursing closet there, Vinny?
    image

    Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
  • imagesalimoo:
    Room for one more in your nursing closet there, Vinny?

    SOL - That is me saying "snort out loud"...which I did...just now.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Wow.  I'd be afraid to open those if I got one.  The detail inside the envelope for Sarah and Anthony is amazing.  And the intricacy of all those pieces for Breun and Jeremy is awesome.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Grants are way more amazing in person!  They jump out at you!  Like 3D without teh annoying glasses!
  • That's really really amazing, Hezz. Truly.

    If you ever need any custom graphics or anything, let me know. We can gang rape together. 

    image
  • I want you to rape me, Hezz. Seriously, I wish I could think of ANY reason to hire you. My bar-hopping 28th b-day party doesn't seem to warrant a rape as good as yours.
  • Kristen, those anniversary ones are also very high up on my list.  I know they don't look difficult, but double sided printing and getting the continuous lines to line up on both sides wasn't easy... but man, are they worth it.  Everyone who holds one loves it!

    Vinny, I haven't drawn anything myself in years.  I'll buy most images (if needed) from istock and manipulate it (colors, size, etc) and insert it that way.  My brother is an artist, so when I can get him to do something for me, the results look something like this:

    image

  • Is it sad that this thread already has me envisioning birthday invites for Ethan? He's not even three months old.
    image
  • Dude.   two words: incredible and hired

    how far in advance would I need to book you for Lila's b-day party in mid-october?

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  • imageHezzerlah:

    Lauren Linnea... alliteration, eat your heart out.  Actually, what sold me was that she'll be LL Cool G.

    Dude, I am so on board with that, I'm the Captain of the ship.

    I think you need to get the domain name www.thepaperraper.com so I can send people there and just have it automatically redirect you to your legit name site.

    image
    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • Sam-a-lamb-a-ding-dong, depending on what you want we could start talking now.  They should be sent mid-Sept, so that would give plenty of time to talk about design, quantity, and any other party stuffs that you need...  I didn't take pictures of them, but all the birthday party stuffs have coordinating favor labels, napkin rings, signs.  email me when yer ready! hezzerlah@gmail.com   and thanks!

     Buddha, I don't think it's weird! I was planning Alex's for a long time.

    By the way, I just want to go on record by saying that the most difficult shitty diaper to change is a blueberry waste filled diaper.  I swear, I can't get it off his skin.

  • OMG Hezz.  I love all of it.  And my clients were so happy with their invitations.  Seriously, I could not have done those myself (and we do some custom invitations, but nothing of your caliber).  I am excited that I now know someone that is willing to do the really CUSTOM stuff.

    And holy cow, my fav is the FLW one.  WOW

    image
  • I never thought I'd volunteer myself to be raped again, but damn those might actually be worth it. (too much?)

    Seriously, those are AMAZING.  I'm in awe.

  • Gah!  I'm still going through the pictures.  They really are lovely.  From the little bling, to the ribbons, to the layering, beautiful.  You are in the right business lady.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • dudes, please know that I made all those little purple envelopes by hand on chickibaby's clients invites.

    Indifferent

     (also lady, just send me the address of that last guest and which inserts they get whenever you're ready.  I have one ready to go.)

  • ::squirming::

    Errrm, the paper gets raped, not the clients, if that makes it any more PC?
    I lube the eff out of my clients.

    I have poop on my finger.

  • imageHezzerlah:

    I have poop on my finger.

    Hope you're not sealing up an envelope right now.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Sweet.  I will see the bride tomorrow, so I will get the info then.

    Seriously, Hezz doesn't joke about doing things by hand...crazy purple envelopes...

    image
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