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Rape victims
That's so terrible..., but I can't help it.
Here's a link, there's no way I can upload them one by one here. I'd link to all of them, but the older ones haven't been edited so I just uploaded them all to shutterfly, sorry they're so small. (that's what he said).
So, this is what I've been up to. 
When you get to the rather awesome/different wedding invites of Breun and Jeremy, please note that I worked in collaboration with chickibaby's husband, a graphic designer, to create these bad boys.
http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AbOGTNizZtmSv
That's it, mangs.
Also, we decided on a bebe name - it's going to be Lauren.
And I decided on a business name - it's going to be All On Paper.
And if anyone else has any orders they would like to get in before the end of November, just let me know. After that, I have no idea how I'm going to do anything, let alone rape things.
Happy viewings.
Re: Rape victims
I really wish I had a need for you raping skills.
they're beautiful.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
I started reading this and was all, whaaa? I are slow.
They are so great! The Sarah & Anthony invites are gorgeous and they are all photographed fabulously! Are you working on a site?
Claire Elizabeth 12/31/2011
Married Bio
Hezz, you made that paper your biitch.
Everything looks so good! I love how elegant the wedding and bridal shower invites look and how whimsical and fun the baby birthday invites are. I got a kick out of what you did with Grant's birthday invites.
And the invites for Sarah and Anthony are breathtaking (and I mean that in the good way, not the insult-disguised-as-a-compliment way).
I dig the name Lauren. Are you sticking with Linnea as a middle?
Boo to All On Paper. Boo, I say. The Paper Raper just has such a better ring to it. And think of all the free press you could get!
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Wow Hezz, those are amazing!
If you're back up to the raping come Jan/Feb, I'll have to tap you for some 1st birthday invites for Gwen.
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
Bloggity Blog - You know you want to...
I LOVE the font you used on Owen's invites! You are so talented it's ridiculous...
I'm dying at the name Sarah Rose. "Sarah Rose knows...."
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
Gracias!! Grassy Ass!!!
Good feedback kinda makes all the long hours worth it! Sarah & Anthony's feedback from guests might be the best I've ever received. She keeps forwarding emails and texts and verbal praise and it's getting to the point I can't walk through doorways. I'm told I should start a business.
Moo, surely I'll make your 30th invites. (baby!!)
Lauren Linnea... alliteration, eat your heart out. Actually, what sold me was that she'll be LL Cool G.
You know I prefer The Paper Raper. I wish it was kosher to make rape cool. It's such an awesome name. I'll DBA my sister invites under The Paper Raper.
eta - cmc, now that I have some downtime I can get started on my website. My cousin is doing it for me for free trade since I did all her paper stuffs for her wedding. She's just been waiting on me for content.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Those are fan.freaking.tastic!
Do you do all of the lettering and drawings? If you say yes, that, on top of the fact that you fit a non-maternity size 4, makes me want to grab a gallon of ice cream and cry under my desk.
ETA - I realize a lot of it is computer generated/font, etc. But, like with Grant's invites, did you do that, or did you find those images (aside from Grant's face of course)?
Lauren! I love it.
You guys, Hezz is awesome at assaulting paper. If you couldn't tell the 40th anniversary/Frank Lloyd Wright ones are for my parents (their condo has several FLW themed items so it's kind of their thing) and my mom cried when she saw them.
The nerve!
House | Blog
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
SOL - That is me saying "snort out loud"...which I did...just now.
That's really really amazing, Hezz. Truly.
If you ever need any custom graphics or anything, let me know. We can gang rape together.
Kristen, those anniversary ones are also very high up on my list. I know they don't look difficult, but double sided printing and getting the continuous lines to line up on both sides wasn't easy... but man, are they worth it. Everyone who holds one loves it!
Vinny, I haven't drawn anything myself in years. I'll buy most images (if needed) from istock and manipulate it (colors, size, etc) and insert it that way. My brother is an artist, so when I can get him to do something for me, the results look something like this:
Dude. two words: incredible and hired
how far in advance would I need to book you for Lila's b-day party in mid-october?
Dude, I am so on board with that, I'm the Captain of the ship.
I think you need to get the domain name www.thepaperraper.com so I can send people there and just have it automatically redirect you to your legit name site.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Sam-a-lamb-a-ding-dong, depending on what you want we could start talking now. They should be sent mid-Sept, so that would give plenty of time to talk about design, quantity, and any other party stuffs that you need... I didn't take pictures of them, but all the birthday party stuffs have coordinating favor labels, napkin rings, signs. email me when yer ready! hezzerlah@gmail.com and thanks!
Buddha, I don't think it's weird! I was planning Alex's for a long time.
By the way, I just want to go on record by saying that the most difficult shitty diaper to change is a blueberry waste filled diaper. I swear, I can't get it off his skin.
OMG Hezz. I love all of it. And my clients were so happy with their invitations. Seriously, I could not have done those myself (and we do some custom invitations, but nothing of your caliber). I am excited that I now know someone that is willing to do the really CUSTOM stuff.
And holy cow, my fav is the FLW one. WOW
I never thought I'd volunteer myself to be raped again, but damn those might actually be worth it. (too much?)
Seriously, those are AMAZING. I'm in awe.
dudes, please know that I made all those little purple envelopes by hand on chickibaby's clients invites.
(also lady, just send me the address of that last guest and which inserts they get whenever you're ready. I have one ready to go.)
::squirming::
Errrm, the paper gets raped, not the clients, if that makes it any more PC?
I lube the eff out of my clients.
I have poop on my finger.
Hope you're not sealing up an envelope right now.
Sweet. I will see the bride tomorrow, so I will get the info then.
Seriously, Hezz doesn't joke about doing things by hand...crazy purple envelopes...