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Sorry-SIL responded. Now what?
She responded that kids don't get vaccinated for that after age 2. In other words she thinks we're stupid. Her kids have not been vaccinated for WC. But then she says her kids have been on Spring break this week (?) so they haven't been around other kids anyway. Wwyd?
Re: Sorry-SIL responded. Now what?
She's wrong about the age thing.
I think there seems to be a little hysteria at play here. I'm pro-vax, for sure. But I don't think your SIL's kids are going to pose a major threat.
Yes pertussis can be spread without active symptoms, but just because a child isn't vaxxed doesn't mean they are infected. I can't remember the original question, but I wouldn't say no to them coming to an event just because the kids aren't vaxxed.
my kids are under 2 and have had at least 3 rounds so far.
send her this:
http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/vis/downloads/vis-dtap.pdf
page 1 gives the schedule for this vaccine.
Yeah, all other things being equal, I might let it slide, but this one detail makes it kind of shitjustgotreal moment.
i guess this is the time where your SIL gets to sit on her high horse about her life choices?
(btw: i don't envy you)
Depends. What did your dh say to her?
It doesn't sound like engaging her in a debate about vaccinations is going to lead anywhere good.
If you don't want her to come, just let her know that in a kind yet firm manner that doesn't leave room for interpretation.
Something like "We're worried about the recent outbreak of WC in the schools and are concerned that your kids could possibly spread it, even if they're asymptomatic, since they are unvaccinated. There will be people at this event who are possibly immune compromised, like dear old Grandma, and we've decided it's better if you guys don't come to the party. (Maybe throw in a "We can celebrate with you another time.")
She's gonna be pisssed. Probably will blame you for hurting the kids and there will be plenty of righteous indignation to go around.
Tough Cookies. You can't be mad because your kids could have it and pass it around. I don't care if my kids had chicken pox and were vaccinated, I still wouldn't have them around anyone with it. It's called being a protective mom and there is nothing wrong with that.
I wouldn't start a family tiff over that. Your grandma can get a billion diseases simply from going to the grocery store or the local walmart. Heck any adult at the party could pick it up and carry it around if they aren't vaxed. It has to be renewed every 5 years or so, I actually don't know anyone who does that.
But I think I'm kinda a loner with that mindset around here, I just can't stress about that stuff, its overwhelming and I'd be forced to live in a bubble, which is no way to live a life.
Now if they were sneezing or snotty or something, I'd definitely put my foot down.
Above Us Only Sky
For reals. It is a birthday party. Parents make choices. SIL made hers and now you have to make yours. Does it suck for kids? Sure but rather that than the alternative.
This is a dumb question, but can people who've been vaccinated but exposed still "carry" it if they came in contact with an infected person? Like, if I tended to someone with chicken pox (I was vaccinated a few years ago), then went & hung out with someone who'd never been vacc'ed/never had CP, could they catch it from me?
Oh I'm with you. I'm just saying that's how she's going to react. These are the consequences to that parent making a decision to not vaccinate her kids.
From what I understand, in the case of chicken pox, not likely. To spread chicken pox, you have to be infected and while the virus can shed without active blisters it is most contagious when you have blisters.
Pertussis is a bacteria. People can be infected with the bacteria with minimal symptoms or with severe symptoms depending on that person's immunity. Technically as someone who is vaccinated against pertussis (you did get your Tdap booster, right?) you could still carry the bacteria if you had been exposed. Chances are though that since you have immunity you will not become infected and then spread it to others.
Of course, my medical degree isn't worth the paper it's printed on.
This is just from the information I've gathered and from talking to the epidemiologists in my circle.
I also feel like epphd could explain this better and correct me where I'm wrong. Maybe she'll chime in.
Are you not allowing the other adults that aren't up-to-date on their vaccines into your house also?
I would hate to be in your position. I cannot imagine making my husband be the bad guy and cause a family war with his sibling.
But what if someone does get sick and it's traced back to her kids? Not that Law and Order is a reliable source, but I'm thinking of that episode where a kid died and it was traced back to an anti-vaxer.
Again, the issue here is that there is an ACTIVE outbreak of Whooping Cough at these kids school. An ACTIVE case. She's not nitpicking because she's anti-vax. These kids could possibly be infected and not know it.
That's the issue. And you know what, I wouldn't even put it off on my H, I would be the bad guy. But then, I'm known to be biitchy like that.
What if grandma or uncle Fred are carrying it and get the kids sick because they haven't had their boosters? Are they going to be prosecuted?
It's family for Pete's sake.
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family dynamics are always difficult. if you feel strongly about it, and dh is backing you up, to me there isn't an issue. you do what is right for your immediate family first and then worry about the extended family and issues.
ds was exposed to chicken pox a few days before we were heading to la to see family. he wasn't vaxed at the time because he was too young. i wasn't sure if his cousin was fully vaxed so i called and asked, she was so we were all set. if there was an issue the kids just wouldn't have gotten to hang out.
i guess my point is- if i were in sil's position, i would completely respect your position and wanting to protect your kid. i would actually call and offer to not come.
when I got WC my whole family had to do a round of antibiotics. I wouldn't let her kid near her SILs kids.
Seriously it was 100 days of misery. Crawling to my front door hoping a homeless drunk would walk by and find me and call 911 several times because the whooping was so bad I couldn't breath.
Above Us Only Sky
Well her comment is not true. they even recomend an teen/adult booster for WC now... so it is ridiculous to say they are not vax past 2. I beleive there is one at like 4-ish, but I am sure of the recomendation on the teen/adult booster as I got it!
I would just say, you are free to have your beleifs and we are free to have ours, but we are not comfortable with it, so while we feel badly, we just can't take that risk. Hopefully this WC break out will pass over sometime soon and we can catch up then.
Pertussis is something where the immunity wanes, like tetanus, which is why TDAP boosters cover both. And why you have to get a tetanus shot every 10 years. Same with whooping cough. So SIL is a moron if she doesn't think her kids HAVE to be vaxxed for it, ever, after age 2.
Also, for those with weaker immune systems or who didn't produce complete immunity when vaccinated? They can still get whooping cough. Hopefully with less severe symptoms, but still...
I've said this before, but parents make choices (well, everyone makes choices) and choices have consequences. The choice not to vaccinate your children might mean losing some friends who have children, or it might mean being semi-shunned when there is an outbreak of a highly contageous disease which even people who have been vaccinated might catch. In this case, the consequence is not being able to come to her nephew's birthday party. Oh well. Gotta live with it. (Then again, many anti-vaxxers think it's a "personal choice" and not, you know, a public health nightmare, but that's not your problem.)
40/112
At least they had been vaccinated, these kids haven't been vaccinated at all. If Uncle Fred and Granny worked at this school, I'd be equally as cautious. Look, I know it's family, but I have family members that are crazy as road lizards and I still wouldn't have them at my house.
Better safe than sorry is all I'm saying.